A Discussion
Discussion of Narcissistic Sexuality
Introduction
The narcissistic disorder represents a complex and often misunderstood phenomenon, named after the mythological character Narcissus who could only love himself, rejecting anyone who attempted to relate to him in an intimate way. To the extent that we consider love and sexuality as related, the concept of ’narcissism’ represents an apparent paradox in the understanding of human sexuality and its role and function in psychological life. However, although the writings of Sigmund Freud link the concepts of narcissism and sexuality, researchers and writers have paid little attention to the relation. In this article, I will discuss the phenomenon of narcissistic sexuality in order to investigate how conceptualizations of sexuality relate to the existential construct of narcissism within the ancient Greek, the early existential and the psychoanalytic tradition.
Ancient Greek tradition: Sexuality and the myth of Narcissus
According to Peter Thielst, the ancient Greeks considered Eros as a fate of humanity that was given by the gods. Thus, Eros was a quality that one should not avoid or attempt to overcome but accept as a necessary force of human nature, enabling the family’s continued existence (Thielst 2011: 17). From a slightly different perspective, Michel Foucault explores how the Greeks concerned themselves with sexual behavior and pleasure as an ethical problem of self-practice. In addition, Foucault shows how the Greeks generally conceived sexuality as necessary force that could bring harmony into human nature. Yet, he states that the Greeks also thought that this force had the power to destroy a human being if it denies or practices its sexuality in an uncontrollable way. Therefore, men had to fear all excess and practice self-control in the sexual control they exercised over women as part of the household (Foucault 1992: part 3).
Correspondingly, the problem of Narcissus was, according to the myth told by Ovid, not his love for himself. The problem was the fact that Narcissus did not follow his human nature by rejecting the love of the women who fell in love with him. Thus, the idea of Hybris is a phenomenon caused by deficiency. Because the problem of Narcissus consists in his transgression of humanity, related to his denial of sexuality and his love for hos own mirror becomes Narcissus’ punishment and nemesis (Ovid 1984).
Early existential theory:
Søren Kierkegaard’s problematization of the self-absorbed seducer
In his book ‘Either-Or’, Søren Kierkegaard uses the figure of Narcissus to explore the so- called aesthetic stage of existence. This stage of existence represents persons who are living for the immediate satisfaction of the senses, being only able to see themselves in terms of the senses. The aesthetic is a kind of person who is living on the very surface of things, without internalizing actions or awareness of his or her own subjectivity (Kierkegaard 2009).
Kierkegaard examines different types of aesthetes and one of them is Johannes, who is a seducer, only concerned with the erotic conquest of women for the sake of his own pleasure. The character of Johannes is an example of the self-absorbed kind of aesthete, but Kierkegaard shows how this kind of self-absorbing behaviour does not derive from self- love but from fragile and fluctuating self-esteem. Thus, this self-absorbedness represents a compensatory escape. Through this self-delusion, Johannes seduces himself to overlook his own self. Through the attention he gets from women, he avoids feeling his own inner pain and despair.
At last he fell in love with himself like Narcissus (Kierkegaard 1968: III-B37)
Thus, Kierkegaard compares Johannes to Narcissus, because they both fall in love with their own self-reflection as extensions of themselves. However, they are both convinced that their self-reflections are not extensions of themselves. Johannes is self-absorbed, smug and grandiose in his appearance and Kierkegaard explains the erotic dimension in the case of Johannes as a matter of pure self-projection and self-lust. Just as Kierkegaard does with the example of Don Giovanni. However, similar to Ovid, Kierkegaard perceives this self- absorbedness as a matter of deficiency and describes how it covers a form of despair regardless of any attempt to conceal it. According to Kierkegaard, the solution is to acknowledge oneself and take responsibility for one’s own life. This is required in order for sexuality to become intimacy with a beloved person in relations if sharing and commitment. A person, whom one perceives as a whole person rather than just an object of lust (Holly 1984: 115). Similar to Plato’s Symposium, the existential stages in Kierkegaard’s philosophy involves an evolution of love and sexuality from a basic instinct to a pure love of Beauty or God. However, whereas Plato final stage involves a rejection of earthly sexuality, to Kierkegaard the dedication to a higher power involves charity (Plato 1994; Carlsson 2010).
Psychoanalytic perspective
The clinical conception of narcissism originates from Sigmund Freud, who linked it to the sexual development of the ego. Freud distinguished between: (1) A primary narcissism, which is a natural part of early development. The development of primary narcissism begins from an autistic and autoerotic phase, preceding the relation to an external object as tied to the child itself. (2) A secondary and pathological narcissism occurring later in development whereby sexual drive is withdrawn from objects due to object-frustration through a mechanism of defense, and then re-invested in the ego as self-libido (Freud 2001).
Thus, similar to Ovid and Kierkegaard, Freud perceives narcissism as grounded in a tragic mode of existence. However, later prominent psychoanalysts as Karen Horney, Alice Miller and James Masterson<