Self-Worship -The Way Forward Chapter V
So how do we do this? How do we actually get down to praying to ourselves? You can do this and yet not feel awkward about it. You have hopefully seen the merit of this line of thinking by now, so why not give it a shot? At best, it will make you divine!
Exercises for Self-Worship
Let us start with a basic physical exercise which is symbolic and easy for the mind to accept.
1) Take a photograph of yourself and put it up somewhere, either in your room or in your cupboard.
Treat this photograph like you would treat the photograph of any saint or God that you worship. Remember this is not your photograph. This is the photograph that represents the aatma, which is a part of the Consciousness Supreme, but covered by this set of bodies - the outer one being your physical body. It is not about worshipping this physical body in the photograph, it is about worshipping the spirit body within, the kar‘‘a of that spirit body, the kaarna sharira, the jivatma or the divine spark within (identified as an individual identity because it has its own ego called ahamkar).
Going beyond it is about worshipping that Consciousness Supreme without the citta or the the ego (which when surpassed takes you deeper from jivatma to pure aatma).
In short, it’s you minus, minus.
Your physical self is the doorway that leads to the worshipable you. So why not use this doorway instead of some other? There is no vanity involved, so do not fear it. There are seven billion doorways to the Supreme (the number of people alive), yours is one of them. But it is one of them. So use it!
Sant Tukaram puts it beautifully and I think his words are smarter than mine, I quote :
“I made an earthen image of Shiva, but the earth is not Shiva; My worship reaches Shiva, The earth remains the earth it was.
I made a stone image of Vishnu, but the stone is not Vishnu; My worship reaches Vishnu, The stone remains what the stone was.
I made a pewter image of Amba, but the pewter is not Amba, Amba receives my worship, Though a pewter that pewter remains. Even so are saints worshipped, The worship reaches the Lord, The saint is but His servant, an instrument, a conduit pipe.”
This poem was shared with me by Dr. Shankar Narayan, one of Gurudev’s favourite disciples.
My personal experience in my relationship with Gurudev during the last days of his life was uncanny. I had a strange dream, where I found myself talking to myself. My voice said to me, “Are you willing to accept him as whatever he may be, even if he is not the great saint that you think he is, even if he does not have all the power that you seem to believe he does? Are you willing to accept him unconditionally?”
I had to debate within. There was a play of doubts and counter-doubts. Finally, it was a premeditated ‘yes’. At this stage the conversation ended, but when I woke up the next morning my relationship with Gurudev had changed.
I realised that my guru was not a 5 feet 8 inch man who spoke well, lived brilliantly and set fantastic examples to follow. I realised that he was not a man, but a ball of energy. I realised that his physical form was like a bioscope for me to see his true self. I knew I should not worship the man, I should worship the being.
My constant desire to meet him and be in his physical presence faded. I would go to Gurgaon, pay my respects to the sthan and not try to get an audience with him as I normally did. Wasn’t I lucky that my relationship had changed from the physical to meta-physical?
It had surpassed the ‘me’ and the ‘him’ and reached a point of ‘us’. To break this profound philosophy, he called me in and gave me some big Punjabi bad words. He said, “you come all the way from Bombay to meet me and don’t even come and see me for a few minutes when you are here?” (Yet there was a chuckle of approval in his voice).
I had learned to see him beyond his physical self and so must you.
Through this photograph (the one you have put up of yourself) you have done what software engineers do. You have created a path between the physical appearance in this photograph and the Consciousness Supreme at the other end. Every day you must bow your head to this photograph and all that it represents. If you can, offer a few nice flowers, burn a candle or an incense stick in the honour of the characters in this photograph. If you can take this a little further, sit in front of this photograph and meditate upon it. Tell the character in this photograph, you know that it is a godly character and that you love it very much, you know that the identities in this photograph will love you truly, not necessarily emotionally, and always wish for your good. You will communicate to this photograph that your love for it is unconditional and not dependent on the waxing and waning of the fortunes of the physical body of this photograph. That you love this person, on an ‘as is where is’ basis.
Do this and you will slowly start believing in the relationship.
Sometimes you may have a negative vibe from this character in the photograph, in your imagination or during meditation, the character might show you negative feelings in one way or the other. You will learn to accept that and wait for that phase to pass. You know that in time to come the love between you the worshipper, and you being worshipped, can only be pure and flawless.
Sometimes you may see certain expressions in this photograph and wonder if this is your imagination, and that this photograph is actually trying to communicate through its expressions. You may not find this easy to believe, but don’t deny it because logic does not allow it. You need to do this regularly and if I may use a word that I don’t normally enjoy using: religiously! Do not stop. You are connecting to the physical part of you in the photograph, as well as to the spiritual body or spirit body that was, is and will be you. You are also connecting to the third body, the kaarna sharira or causal body. This will create a bonding between your three bodies, and it will be observed by the jivatma or the witness within you.
This is a powerful personal strategy for spiritual growth. Do not be dissuaded by thoughts or reactions or the opinion of others. Let it take weeks or months or years but success lies at the end of the tunnel, because you have already entered the tunnel and there is only one place to reach if you don’t turn back. So don’t turn back. Make it to the end. Even if it takes more than one lifetime. Remember those magic words in Sanskrit? ‘Tat Twam Asi’ (That You Are).
I have actually taken the essence of this great sentence and deconstructed it for your reading pleasure and easy practice. You owe me the success.
Pay your debts.
Self-Healing By an Atheist
My sister’s friend in New York had a Black American boyfriend whose business was arranging boxing matches. She frantically called me one day and said she wanted help for her boyfriend. He had been diagnosed with blood cancer and that doctors had given him not more than three to six months to live. She also said that he did not believe in religion and probably would not share my faith. I asked her to make him call me anyway and only then could I try to pray for some help. One day he did and said, “Hey, I’m John.”
He said he had been asked to call me, but he wanted me to know that he did not believe in God and that he was not willing to go to any church or temple to pray. This was a tough one. I was not sure whether I should feel insulted or I should empathise with the man and try to help him.
So I said to him that if he wanted my help here were my terms. He would have to light a candle twice a day and pray to himself for not less than five minutes at a time. Sitting, standing, lying down or however he felt comfortable. I said, if he wasn’t ready to do that, then it was time to say goodbye. The rudeness worked. He said, “Sir, that I can do, that I can do!” I believe he did. And sincerely. I remember his girlfriend telling me, two years later, that he was much better, alive and kicking. The last I heard about John was that he was still around in New York, 20 years after my conversation with him. I am not sure how he has managed to overcome the cancer. I’m sure he must have taken certain therapies to benefit from, but I’m also convinced that all that he undertook medically was benefitted greatly by self-healing and self-worship. I do not know his current status, but he certainly did beat the predictions. Here is a case of an atheist worshipping himself and benefitting from his own divinity. John did it, you go do it too.
Stare and visualise this figure or graphic on your forehead.
It helps clear the plumbing for the spirit.
2) Sit in front of a mirror cross-legged, and stare at the area of your forehead. Extending above your nose towards the centre of your forehead at the level of your hair you will see, if not initially at a later date, an imaginary straight line. Above your eyebrows going towards your hairline you will also see the shape of a half moon. Keep looking at this for the first few weeks and months. Later, when this half moon appears keep staring at it for several minutes every day, and do this for years. Please do not ask me to explain further as I think I have already gone beyond the boundaries that I should have. Trust me this works.
3) Sit in a meditative pose cross-legged like the graphic of Gurudev in the first couple of pages. Recite the mantra that you normally do, if you do or chant Om or Allah or Hail Mary etc. Imagine yourself sitting within you, staring outward, as you are in this current pose. The you, that you see within, should be sitting somewhere between your heart chakra and forehead chakra. Look at yourself in your current form and then slowly look at yourself at a younger age and later, at an even younger age. Keep going younger till one day you see yourself as a child sitting in the same pose within you as before. This could take weeks or months. Just do it. Initially you may not even be able to visualise yourself. So keep trying and keep failing, until you fail at failing.
