On the 1st of September 2014, after that eventful realization in the flight, it seemed that I was no more RVM. I was the Atman in RVM. I no longer identified myself with the body because on the flight the day before, I realized that I was not this physical body. I was the Atman – the Spirit, the Soul. I realized this truth beyond any doubt!
The purpose of my life was no more to make a difference. That could continue to be the purpose of the RVM Foundation and the 300 people who worked in it because the foundation was doing great work. But on realizing the truth, I just couldn’t continue doing what I was doing. I realized that I was not RVM. I did nothing. God did everything!
A caterpillar becomes a pupae and then metamorphosizes into a butterfly. I just realized that Ravi V. Melwani had transformed to RVM. And now this was a metamorphosis. RVM became AiR (Atman in RVM) and was flying like a butterfly. I was absolutely clear: I am not RVM, but I am the “Atman in RVM”.
I understood that to continue living as the Soul or the Atman, I have to stop being RVM. I couldn’t be both: one was the body–mind–intellect and the other was the Soul – both couldn’t coexist. The caterpillar had to die for the butterfly to be born. RVM had to die for the Atman in RVM to be born. As long I was RVM, I could never be the Soul because RVM had an ego, an identity, a mind, thoughts, and cravings that would envelope the Atman in the illusion of this world.
So what did I do? On the 1st of September 2014, I announced, “I am not RVM”. I said that I would not sign anything anymore, no cheques or documents. I authorized two senior members to sign anything on my behalf and created a Power of Attorney for legal representations. Thus, I started my journey as the Atman. It was no simple task. After realizing that I was not the body, the mind, and the intellect, to still live in the environment of RVM was very challenging!
One thing was clear though – that while I was the Atman, I was still the Atman in RVM. The Atman had to exist in the same body. It could not exist or manifest itself without the human form. God has created in such a way that even realized souls must continue to live in the human form until death.
RVM was the CEO and the managing trustee of the RVM Foundation. We run a free charitable hospital, free charitable homes, the RVM School of Inspiration, the Shiva Temple, and the Kemp Fort Mall. Over 300 people are employed in our organization, and RVM heads the organization. It now meant delegation. I could not just abdicate, dump everything, and walk away. It would negatively impact the 700 destitute residents in our humanitarian institutions and the 300 families that depended on us. But the process had started.
By now, I had already started my life of renunciation. Once, I used to crave for a masala dosa, a south Indian delicacy, and many other foods. I had already given up these on starting the journey. But now, I decided to give up further. Since I was not the body–mind, I decided to give up all cravings and all desires of the body and mind, be it wealth, women, wine, or anything else for that matter. This was quite challenging and not as easy as it sounds because while I had realized the truth that I was the Soul, the Atman, I was still in the physical form. I was still under the control of my mind that was wandering and my senses that were craving, and there was a tug of war between the two. I planned to give up wearing colorful clothes, personally handling cash, and even wanted to stop using the mobile phone, though at this stage it seemed impossible. But my resolve to renounce was absolute. I knew that true happiness doesn’t come from all of these. It came from being in yoga – Union with God, surrendering to God’s will and being his instrument, doing his work. I did realize though that Liberation meant freedom in action, not freedom from action.
I started waking up before 5:00 am every morning, spending a few hours at dawn in silence, just communicating with God. Messages came, as if from nowhere, guiding my way forward. Since I had stopped doing all the RVM-related work, I was free to do the work of the Soul.
However, I still found it difficult to be the Soul. I used to come to RVM’s office every morning, sit on RVM’s chair, and everybody used to call me RVM. So though I knew that I was not RVM, everybody called me RVM, and this was a dichotomy. I decided to move from the RVM office into a new office that I envisaged as Nirvana, an office that could help me live a life of self-realization.
As I attempted to be the Soul, RVM coexisted. The world knew me as RVM. My family and my friends weren’t aware of the second transformation,