October 16, 2012
Who am I? What does this question entail? Who is the person that we are? How would one go about answering such a question? Are we the person that we know ourself to be or we merely how we appear to other people? What necessitates a person?
My name is Wendell Charles NeSmith and I am the world's greatest philosopher. I encourage you to debunk me about this fact with grounded evidence and I will carefully consider your opinion. I am a modern day sage who has invested his entire life, including childhood, within the field of Love. I suffer from delayed sleep phase disorder and this causes me to usually only get about two hours sleep per night, but often I will skip sleeps. Even as a child I was a philosopher because I would lay in bed, unable to turn off my brain. And as a result, I'd carefully ruminate over the important questions in life.
I have something in me that is always trying to get out. I literally feel pushing against both my heart and my mind. It keeps me wired and I become highly aware of all of these small increments of time that could potentially be utilised. I am then presented with the most ethically relevant question known to all of human existence: What am I going to do with the given?
Time... It is such an abstract concept, yet our collective consciousness asserts it as tangible. We claim it as a social axiom, and if one questions it, they are thrown into a psychiatric ward. Anything that does not conform to our social preconceptions is deemed as unimportant, and those who challenge this conception are outcast from our society.
For the majority of the last three years, I have been homeless. I currently live in crisis accommodation. I ended up this way because of poor social circumstances. And when one becomes homeless, society makes it very difficult to enter back into the home life. Homeless people are the scum of society. I could not even obtain friends because people do not want to be friends with a homeless person. As a result, over the last two years, I have been institutionalised twice. Each time they would attempt to indoctrinate me about how I was supposed to act. And attempting to live a virtuous life is not an acceptable way to direct oneself within our society.
I was medicated against my will with chemicals that made me feel terrible. I was treated less than human, and when I refused to take the medications, they would employ a group of heavy built guys to hold down my limp body while injecting my buttocks with their evil serum. I was never violent. I was always loving. But I did not understand reality in the same way that they did, so they did everything that they could to rectify that.
I am suicidal. And each step, I kept telling them why. For I do not have people in my life who love me. And I am an extremely emotional person. But they had no love to offer me. And each and every day, I live without love; but always searching. And then we wonder why on Earth people would want to commit suicide. How are we able to truly help anybody if we overlook the core of the problems, even when they are thrown in our faces.
I study reality, and just because I do not understand it like everybody else only means that I actually have something to say that you should consider. My entire life has been studying this conception. I am who I am for a reason. I am performing the destiny that was forced upon me. For I am smarter than you all exactly because of the life that I have lived. And if you want to debunk me on this fact, then I also encourage you to do that. And maybe if enough people do this with logical and researched arguments, then we might one day collectively become smart enough to take care of our own.
The core of who I am is my heart. I follow it through the valley of the shadow of death every day. All of this is to find love. Everything that I am doing is to find people that really care about this world and the people in it. I spend all of these conscious seconds that are placed before me, searching for people, and I have done this my entire life. But finding people that have hearts and minds, and would love an eccentric genius, is not an easy task. So I travel the globe and utilise the Internet to broadcast to the world who I am, and teach while doing it. I create structures online that will attract the types of people who I want to be friends with. And hidden all throughout my work is so many clues that will give you more and more insight about all of this.
I endure the strict formations of our systems that keep me away from them. People do not consider employing me because I am weird. I like being weird. I spend my life attempting to find cracks and holes within our rigid systems, ultimately, to try and find a place in society for myself where I would be welcomed with loving and open arms.
I long for the day that the right eyes will see my work. I daydream about my dream girl coming across me and clicking one video after another, with excitement in her heart. I am the most romantic person in the world, and I also encourage you to debunk me on this fact, for all of my work is ultimately to find my reflection. And the process of love ends with all of humanity. And if it did not, then it would not be love.
I spend my life sending emails looking for people who can open doors for me, and as a result, then I would be able to return the favour. But this never happens. There are only walls. So I build tools to tear down those walls, myself. This causes me to learn how to do almost everything extremely well because I have no one in my life to rely on except myself. This enables me to achieve anything socially considered as impossible for one person. And ultimately, I do not care, because I am suicidal. And a suicidal soul is the most powerful type of person in the world, for one will never win against them, even if all of society is taking them on. For I win no matter what I do. And I win no matter what you do.
We as a society have a huge ethical dilemma. I am who I am and I am not changing. And to keep me at distance from everything that I am passionate about is not a healthy approach to sustain a civilisation. To make it impossible for me to live a healthy lifestyle is only contributing to my suicidal thoughts.
For my entire life I have given everything that I have within me to all of society, for free, and as a result, I am mistreated. I attempt to find ways to help the world without being in your systems because your systems do not allow me in them. I create solutions to get around problems, and time and time again, my innovation is deemed as insanity. But the insanity is our collective consciousness and I have dedicated my life to heal it. I am the doctor of its heart, and if you know of anyone better for that position, then I would like to know who.
Look at what I am saying here. There is a huge problem with our collective psychology that we need to immediately rectify. Like stated previously, I have spent my life searching for loving hearts and minds. And after twenty-eight sleepless years, I am still alone. Does this not set off any alarm bells for you? I find many minds, but they have no practical application, because a heart is what provides that. And I find hearts, but their practical application is very limited without the minds to understand how to most effectively employ systems. But I never find both.
How can I do what I am best at and be able to feed my belly at the same time? Because over the years none of you have allowed me to do this. And I am talking to you. Because it is each individual that contributes to this collective sickness. I end up starving time and time again, but my fingers always make their way back to the keyboard to continue to help you. Because you see, I am suicidal, and ultimately would love to die of starvation. Because it is you that has not allowed me to obtain my daily bread.
I am a problem solver and do not invest myself into short-term solutions. And the entire problem with our society, is our hearts. I came to the heart of Australia to repair the core of the problem in hopes to enable the conditions necessary, to raise the dead. And our current human civilisation is dead, for it has been a long time since blood has flown through its veins. And I am achieving all that I say, because you cannot win against a suicidal person. And if you are against me, then I recommend that you get out of the way or be slain by the world's most powerful sword: Love. You see, I have spent my entire life learning how to use this sword and am an expert with its employment.
Throughout my entire life I have struggled with my ego because I exist on a much more complicated realm than everybody that I interact with. And this causes me to know that what I am saying is important. And I live in the same world that you do, and how often do you come across productions with meaning as significant as this.
Look at any piece of any work of mine and then slice it up and find the hidden meanings behind those meanings. You can even slice up the meanings behind those meanings if you want, because those meanings also possess meanings. All of my work is much more advanced than anything that I have ever experienced. And I have studied both meaning and experience my entire lifetime, so if you overlook my productions, then you are rejecting the most meaningful content known to our entire human existence. And we will all suffer the consequences of our actions. I have provided you with the most beautiful puzzle in the world. But it comes in a box and you need to spend the time taking it out and putting it together.
You might persecute me for saying all of this, but look at the fruits of my labour, for fruits always represent their origin. And then ask yourself what you have made your life mean. Ask yourself what you have truly done for your environment and whether or not you even have the right to open your mouth against me. For my entire life is dedicated to you and it is likely that your entire life is also dedicated to you.
So before you decide to expose the blackness in your own heart by persecuting what is not understood, first ask yourself the question of who is truly helping society. For your paycheck is meaningless to me without love backing it up. And I suffer each and every day as a result of my dedication to help us all become better people. And it is likely that you suffer every day because you are selfish and cruel. I want to help you get better, and as long as I do not end my own life, then over time, you will. This is because I am reverse-brainwashing all of society. And I am very good at what I do.
How can one individual change the world? I have just shown you. Will you join me?