See and Say
(Diss Various Artists)
by
Robby Richardson
KNOCK...KNOCK...KNOCK
Opening the office door slowly, I heard a friendly “Hello sir!” A man behind the desk waved at me telling me to approach. I came through the door gripping my invention tightly under my arm. It felt like a frying pan as the pulling lever dug into my side. However I didn't care, I was just lucky to have gotten past the assistant. I approached the man in the suit. His legs outstretched over his Oak desk. I watched him lean back in his black office chair as his eyes darted up to me. A mild curiosity played across his face. The room was filled with a large skylight as his office overlooked the beautiful city of Los Angeles. I approached him staring down at his granite stone name tag, Richard Belzer. “Well tell them I am not interested...thanks...good bye.” Placing the phone down, Richard gazed at me returning his legs to the floor.
“Robby,” he exclaimed at me. I noticed his blue eyes narrow slightly. I nodded as he snapped his fingers. A smile flashed over him, “yes my secretary told me about this little invention you had. She said that it was right up my alley. Now do forgive me but I have a lunch meeting in ten minutes, so if you could speed it up for me.” I nod and removing my invention I placed it on the table, “well first Mr. Belzer thank you for meeting me and to get to the point. I know that Belzer Toys produces some of the biggest toys around the world. And I also heard that you were a big fan of hip hop.” Mr. Belzer nods sending his gray hair to go slightly astray, “I do yes.” “Well, I figured that many of the rappers today are...well, needless to say talentless.” I crossed my fingers and pressed on, “so I figured many of them were only famous because of...well, let's call them tendencies.” I saw confusion in Mr. Belzer’s face so I continued “you see it's like a child See and Say. You pull the lever and well look!”
I pull the lever on the side and the arrow began to spin. Cartooned pictures of rappers circled the outside like a clock would. The arrow stopped on a man wearing black shades. “The Gucci Mane says...Burr...Burr!” Mr. Belzer tapped his chin in a long pause. I watched the smile flicker on his lips and then began to laugh. “I love it...do another.” Smiling, I pull the lever again and the arrow stops. “The Jeezy says...Chea!” Laughing louder, “Robby that is hilarious! So, what's it's purpose then just to make fun of them...like a joke.” I shrug “well, they kinda do that already to themselves.” “Hmm,” replied Mr. Belzer his interest waning. “Well, they’re a joke already. My hope is to make kids appreciate good talent when they see it.” Mr. Belzer nodded, “play another one please.” I pull the lever, “The DJ Khaled says...DJ KHALED!” I pull the lever for a fourth time, “The Ying Yang Twin goes...HAAAAA!”
Mr. Belzer clapped politely as he leaned forward. He began to straighten himself a bit. “So for kids to appreciate good hip hop huh?” I nod, “I've always felt that good lyrics can truly affect a person in more ways imaginable. Artists like this just kinda pollute the water, you know?” Mr. Belzer nodded, “I agree...I agree indeed. Let's finish it out play the rest of them just to see what I'm investing in.” I pulled the lever again and the arrow stopped at, “the pitbull says...OOOOOH HOOOO!” “You see Mr. Belzer, it's not the beat the changes people. It's the lyrics...words can move people. Words change hearts and minds shaking people to their very core. But when rappers like these are put into the limelight. People aren't going to know the difference between the good and the bad.” Nodding Mr. Belzer gave a soft, “I agree...and quite understand where you are coming from. Is there anymore?” “Yeah just a couple more, I want to make a second one. I think that this is good for a start though.”
Waving his hand Mr. Belzer said, “well why don't we finish it off.” I pulled the lever again and the arrow landed on a bald headed man, “ruff...ruff..ruff...grrrrrr!” Mr. Belzer gazed at me confused, “DMX” I said simply. I pulled the lever for the second to last one, “HA HA HA HA HA YOUNG MULA BABY!” Fingers crossed tightly, I watched his face contort into confusion when the last one was played, “BRRRRRRR.” “What the hell was that...sounded like a...a pigeon?” I nodded, “yeah it's Birdman.” “OH,” Mr. Belzer said and paused again. “I think that it would make a great gift for any true hip hop fan. We need more than that though. Can you write up some more and get back to me.” I patted the See and Say, “but this is not supposed to be a toy. It's a joke to show the world what fools look like. To make them appreciate good writing when they see it.” “And now people will see it.”
Ha Ha
The End