A proud pamper’d P—e, to hypocrites dear,
With an income, from tythes, of twelve thousand a year,
Hath furnish’d the nation with novel alarms,
’Bout the legs of the French, for he fears not their arms;
He tells us he’s heard, tho’ he’s not seen the truth,
That the minds of our modest ingenuous youth
Are debauch’d by French dancers, who riot young blood
With the sight of that niche, wherein B—s have stood.
But how came a B—p, ’bove all men, to know
That dancers teetotum themselves on the toe?
Was he seated, disguis’d, in the front of the stage,
To peep at what put his priestcraft in a rage?
No! his female observer went oft to the play,
And told him th’ effect of this am’rous display,
In language so glowing, that D—m, amaz’d,
Beheld from his belly the dead she had rais’d.
At his time of life, and grim death near at hand,
’Twas vicious enough, in his crozier to stand,
So thought the still husband, but not so the w—e,
For she yet had a taste for the arbor of life;
Cock-sure of a taste when she told the lewd tale
Of Parisot’s pranks, which prov’d piety frail,
To rouse thus the tail of a head of the c—h,
Were better than banging the bottom with Birch!
Now the B—p, in senate, his brethren met,
To discuss this affair, youthful morals beset,
He said, “the five daring Directors of France
“Smuggl’d treason in hornpipe and country-dance;”
But he told not their Lordships, for decency sake,
That Parisot’s postures had made him a rake,
That his old ’piscopari up frisky and fresh,
A translation had had to the lust of the flesh.
But Parisot sets up a scriptural plea,
For showing what B—s would willingly see!
She proves that King David—(libidinous spark,)
Danc’d naked to all sorts of tunes ’fore the ark;
And when Michal, Saul’s daughter, saw Majesty’s part,
From her window, (’tis said) it revolted her heart;
Tho’ she frown’d at the Monarch, she smil’d at the farce,
A King cutting capers, sans robes to his a—e.
Nay, didn’t King David, proud p—e, I pray,
Spy Bathsheba’s bum on a sun-shiny day?
And has Parisot, yet, to so vile a pass come,
As to shew our King, what! what! her uncover’d bum?
Has K—n, crim. con. ’em, (chaste man o’-the law,)
Heard she cocks up one leg, and exhibits her flaw?
Let her cock up one leg as she stands, quoth old Q.,
When she’s down to please me, she must cock up her two.
T—w growl’d, knit his brows, bit his lip in a rage,
When he heard of the B—s reforming the stage
“Old D—m,” he cried, “poh! poh! stick to your shop,
“And mind not how foreigners jump, skip, or hop;
“I know ye all, d—n ye! not one of your Bench
“Would privately turn from a plump naked wench,
“You go to the play slyly, see what you’ve felt,
“If you like it not, b—st ye! go home and be gelt!”