VANQUISHED
Candice James
Copyright 2009
Trickling down the face of some
Falsely cherished lie I mistook for the truth,
I’m now the resurrection of a forgotten
Fragment of my imagination
That’s trying to claw its way into reality
For reality’s sake only. Nothing else.
When I have a clear view of it
I’ll brandish my new sable paint brush
High above my head and channel
The flow of these dazzling colors onto
The canvas of the life I’d misplaced,
And wasted, in someone else’s corner of the world.
Misspent youth is well spent indeed
Compared to misspent middle age
Which rots more quickly than old fruit
When not taken within its season,
When not plucked tenderly, compassionately.
The abominable knife of cruelty,
Once worn like a tattered crown,
Reigned over this kingdom of tears
Before these new days sprinkled with sunshine
And punctuated with optimistic abandon
Became my constant companion.
Beneath this veil of faded diamonds
That litter the spiral staircase of my dreams
I sometimes find a remnant of ripped fabric
But it bears no resemblance to the disguises
Worn by those who slept in my soul
And languished in the pool of my faith.
As I cast a furtive glance backward
I can barely see the burned out crumbling
Steeple I spent so many heartaches in.
Hiding in the special shelter in my mind;
Before it became too run down, beyond repair;
Before it became prematurely antiquated
Before I left the best part of myself
Carelessly out in the rain to rust and rot.
The days and nights keep wandering
Through this shaky house of cards
Locking the door so I can’t get back into
This closet of tears and fears.
This knowledge is my salvation now,
My only reason to continue walking
With and through this shadow I’ve become.
Common sense, such a long lost stranger,
Has emerged victorious from her watery grave
In love’s stillborn sea. She’s shaken off the wet
And, wrapped in a damp towel, is knocking on my door
Sword drawn and ready to slay all my dragons
And vanquish my evil twin at last.
Finally,
A peaceful easy feeling to rest in.