trapped inside of what should be familiar -
my mind became a
trapdoor, and suddenly,
i had lost the key.
swallowed by hatred, it
sank deep into despair,
evaporated in fog that
clouded my eyes.
i couldn’t seem to
escape, to find the key,
to pick the lock. i
swam through the pit,
oxygen leaking from
my ears, fingering my
thoughts, black veins
spreading through my skin.
like in dream, a
falling sensation overcame me,
tumbling through vines of
insecurities, of bloodless memories,
of moments of pure terror
from myself.
no matter where i moved,
what i said,
who i talked to, the key stayed
hidden inside me, and not a
single thing you said could
resurface it.
fruit flies
surround the
mess that is
my heart and
pick off the
pieces that you
didn’t want
for yourself.
when the pressure
begins in the
heart, bleeds through
my soul, and seeps
into my spirit,
you cannot get
frustrated with me
when my body begins
to shut down.