Montgomery A. Gummy
He had always done the addictive stuff since high school
Now he was up to his neck in money loss from something that sounded like “hero” combined
With “in”
“Mr. Gummy, do I have to pay my home money? I got nothin’, Mr. Gummy”
“Shut up and pay me or get a squishy fistful of my red gummy, buddy” Mr. Gummy responded
To his plea of refusing to pay money.
Montgomery A. Gummy was quite the funny buddy
He had a red body, huge and made up of gummy
Montgomery A. Gummy was not a happy gummy
He had a look of hatred and aggression
And seemed to grow even redder
When one refused to pay their apartment rent money
“Mr. Druggie, If you don’t pay me I’m afraid I’ll have to kick your ass out into the empty.”
“But sir, I don’t have enough currency!”
“No excuses, Mr. Druggie.”
Mr. Gummy smiled in thought of doing drugs with Mr. Druggie
“Then I do the HERO and do it INside your room, Mr. Druggie.”
“Just me and you, druggie. I got no friends to do it with, and I’m lonely, so humor me with some
Of your drugs, buddy.”
Mr. Druggie had no choice but to listen to Montgomery A. Gummy
“Ok. Come inside, Mr. Gummy.”
“YAY! Thank you, you high little druggie!”
Mr. Druggie had no choice.
His landlord was no soft, cuddly bunny
Montgomery was a beast
Made out of squishy, sugary gummy
Red with anger
And a bull’s temper on what was otherwise just tasty candy
“Sit down over here, Mr. Gummy.”
Gummy and Druggie sat down on a worn-out couch in the gross room belonging to the druggie.
Mr. Druggie had never bothered to work for any hard-earned money
He never did have enough
To pay the fifty-million per one half of one month each year
Mr. Gummy requested he did
Mr Gummy had started acting as his sneaky, secret dealer as a deal
Dealing Druggie the goods in his office
And in the quiet alley nearby
The one that no one ever bothered to walk through anyway
He gave the druggie homemade small versions of himself
All different colours
Red, yellow, blue, green, purple, pink, gray, orange and some with a strange brown hue-like
Colour
Most ones Montgomery stuffed
When in the comfort of his own office and room
The ones with the strange brown hue-like colour
He took out of that difficult-to-understand-what-colour-it-was-toilet
He never flushed in his filthy, hardly-ever-cleaned-bathroom
Mr. Druggie didn’t mind
He knew Gummy shoved the “hero” “in”side of the miniature gummies that he craved for and
Enjoyed irresponsibly so much
Montgomery A. Gummy was thirteen times his mass anyway
Although made up of soft, squishy muscle tissue
That the druggie would have otherwise considered eating as a satisfying candy feast
Which would have made Mr. Montgomery’s home one with his tummy
Mr. Gummy could still kick his ass without even wanting to try or act weak while doing it to try
To be funny
So, Mr. Paul W.C. Druggie had to share his delightful “hero” gummies with a much larger and
Scarier
Red, easily angered gummy creature
Mr. Gummy’s favourite childhood toy
Was a bong he played with when he was but a young laddie
He brought it over to Mr. Druggie’s place
Not only because then he wouldn’t have to kick that druggie man “out into the empty”
But because he got really lonely by himself
With only the way-too often used bong to keep him company
Montgomery was a chronic cigar user, his “friends” were bigger cigarettes
But he could only smoke and eat so much
Till it got real boring for him
With used cigars thrown all over the floor like a fortress of smoke
Some cigars Mr. Gummy didn’t even bother to spit out
And instead opted to chew and digest them
He never felt any ill effects
It never felt funny when it came out the other way
And he didn’t know what they looked like
Nor did he ever want to know what they looked like when they came out the other way
What a poor gummy
But tonight
Even now as an intimidating gummy and a struggling druggie were munching each on one big
Bucket of gummies
With “the hidden surprise” in each individual piece
One whole bucket at a time
Buckets filled up beforehand by Montgomery
As they always did on all of these midnights
Just seeing stars
Indoors, mind you
Not where they’re supposed to be, you see
Something that was the result of getting just a tad bit
MOMUMMENTALLY FREAKIN high
Mr. Gummy was just not satisfied
“Hey, Mr. Paul W.C Druggie. May I swallow you, by any chance? As one piece of chewy candy to
A suffering druggie?”
“Eh, why not. Sure, Mr. Montgomery A. Gummy. I’m just your hopelessly drug-addicted funny,
And not too lucky, buddy.”
“THANKS A BUNCH, MR.DRUGGIE, MY FAVOURITE-AND ALSO ONLY-BUDDY!!”
Mr. Montgomery cries yummy, joyful tears of gummy
Most people just try to eat the big gummy when they meet him
Stopping when they realize
That he’s simply too big to properly eat, no matter how much they like the gummy
He thought Paul W.C Druggie was like that at first
And would try to do that to him
But Paul the broke druggie never did, even when he was really hungry!
Finally, now Montgomery A. Gummy had found a friend!!
A fellow druggie that he could irresponsibly, aggressively abuse illegal and possibly fatal drugs
With as a buddy!!
YAY!!
That overgrown mountain of soft red gummy ate his resident druggie man in one big, giant gulp
Of his chewy, wide red throat
Paul’s body going down to live in his tummy
Montgomery’s stomach started to feel rather funny
He wasn’t much for the process of proper digestion
In fact, he looked like a bloated dumb gummy dummy
But that proved to be a fatal neglect on his part for this midnight
As Mr. A. Gummy barfed and dropped dead
Flat on his back
Flat dead in the middle of Mr. W.C. Druggie’s open, hard wood floor
The monster gummy made a giant “THUD”
As his heavy, monstrous and lumbering body
Hit on his back
The great, big floor that was empty
With too much empty space to fill with any number of oversized bodies
Paul W.C. Druggie simply had too much “hero” “in” him
To be healthy for any large, oversized gummy to digest properly
Without disrupting the healthy, normal functions of the body
Be it the human body or the soft, candied gummy body
And it didn’t help
That Montgomery W.C. Gummy had been “drinking” some “coke” “In” side his room earlier
Before coming over to his favourite druggie’s room to start up on the high all over again
He was a gummy bear of variety
Of experimentation, people said
And it caused an angry, silly gummy teddy to drop dead
Crashing loudly into the middle of the wide-open, hard
Wooden floor that lay beneath him
All because of the lethal side effects that it had the chance to pose to him
What a poor, poor indulgent gummy
What a poor, poor broke druggie