I told him
About the real me
The ugly. The unpretty
The dark sadness that
Sleeps beneath my skin
Freezing my core
That no cup of coffee could cure
He asked if I talk to myself
I do
He asked what words I use
I sighed and said…
I’m kept warm by the rage that burns in curse words
They express my anger perfectly
They sting, they cut, they protect
Then came the cleansing
He kissed the pulse in my neck
And filled my throat with tingling kindness
He tired my tongue with his vigor
And bit my lip to suck the bitter poison of lies life had shown me
He drained my mouth of angered air
Almost suffocating me of all I knew
Til he replaced it with his own
And let me know I was worth every breath he took
And I learned
I owed no one words of pain
As much as no one owed me joy
And that should words bring life
Then suicide starts
In the hurtful words you tell yourself when no one is looking
And the rude words you say when everyone is.
I wonder if he saw it
How a layer of hurt
Slid past the bridge of my nose
Falling into gravity’s grip.
How it made room
For more of his words
In my awakened need for love
And knowing Myself
And finding Peace.