32. Integrity is revealed by relationships with others
SPs’ relationships tell us a great deal about their integrity, because these can influence their own integrity and because SPs have an affinity with their associates. The extent to which the integrity of others rubs off on an SP depends on proximity. This interdependence of integrity can also have positive effects. For the sake of their integrity, SPs should be selective about entering into and breaking off relationships.
In addition to integrity playing a role in the compatibility of an SP’s jobs, it also affects their relationships. Relationships tell us about a person’s integrity. How?
Firstly, the people an SP spends time with can affect their integrity. The circles in which SPs move affect their thoughts, opinions, and actions. An SP who mixes in the underworld is more susceptible to illegal activities. For that reason a council member was discredited when it emerged that he had connections with an extremist organization. Similarly there were calls for Japanese minister of justice, Keishu Tanaka, to resign when it became known that he had played a ceremonial role at a gangster’s wedding 30 years previously.150
Secondly, one’s choice of associates expresses one’s own integrity. People are drawn to those with whom they have an affinity, like choosing like, so the choice of associates reflects a person’s identity. A socialist alderman was criticized when it emerged that he had close relations with a wealthy businessman. This was seen as hypocritical by his supporters: how can a person who fights against capitalism embrace a capitalist at the same time? Similarly a prince was discredited when it became known that he regularly mixed with obscure businessmen. What would a prince be doing there, was the critical question from society. Even in the absence of personal contact, associations with people can be an indication of integrity. For instance a liberal congressman was criticized when it was suggested that he had sent fan mail to a leader of an extreme racist party at the age of 16.
The extent to which the integrity of others rubs off on SPs depends on their proximity: the closer they are, as with family, friends, and colleagues, the greater the effect. After all, we form a unit with these people, or so it is assumed. Northern Irish prime minister Peter Robinson stepped down temporarily when it emerged that his 60-year-old wife had had an affair with a 19-year-old man, and had arranged for £50,000 to go to project developers for this man to set up his own café.151 For this reason people also pay close attention to the life partners of members of royal families. New members will become part of the family and play a part in determining its integrity. For this reason there was outrage when Norwegian Crown Prince Haakon started a relationship with Mette-Marit Tsjessem Høiby. The criticism from the Norwegian public related to her rough lifestyle and the fact that she brought a child with her from a previous marriage to a drug baron. At a press conference a few days before their marriage she said, “I led a wild life and paid a high price for my life experience. Unfortunately I cannot turn back time and undo everything, but I have grown stronger for it and will do my utmost best in my future role as crown princess.”152
This interdependence of different people’s integrity can also have positive effects: other people’s integrity can rub off on one’s own by the mechanism described above. SPs can use this when they want to improve their reputation for integrity, by connecting themselves with someone with a better reputation, for instance by placing someone who has made a big name for integrity on the candidate list or on a committee. This rubs off on others on the list or committee, although those others may in turn have a negative effect on the reputation of the person brought in for their integrity.
It is therefore important that SPs take care about who they associate with. This applies in private to friends and family, and in office to the composition of committees, parties, and management, as well as who you speak to, work with, and maintain relations with. Who should you take into your confidence, who do you involve in decisions, and who do you bounce ideas off? Who do you congratulate on happy events, who do you greet, and who do you eat lunch with? Who do you invite to events such as conferences, meetings, and receptions? Integrity can also be seen in the relationships people break off, who they dismiss, and who they end collaborations or private relationships with.