Studies in the psychology of sex, volume 2 by Havelock Ellis. - HTML preview

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an indecent solicitation to one whose inclination was to headlong

and delirious surrender. I stood rooted and flushing with

downcast eyes till the act was over and was conscious for a

considerable time of stammering speech and bewildered faculties.

When I afterward reviewed the circumstances they had the same

attraction for me that amorous cruelty was just then beginning to

exercise on my imagination. My mind secretly embraced the fearful

sweetness of the newly discovered sensation, surrounding the

performance of the function with all sorts of atrocious and

bizarre inventions. For a time my intellect hung back from

accepting this as the central and most fiery secret of the male

attraction; but shortly afterward, when out walking with my

father, I saw him perform the same act; I was overwhelmed with

emotion and could barely drag my feet from the spot or my eyes

from the damp herbage where he had deposited the waters of

secrecy. Even today, when my mind has been long accustomed to the

knowledge of generative facts, I cannot dissociate myself from

the shuddering charm that moment had for me. The attraction my

father's person had always had for me was now increased tenfold

by the performance I had witnessed (though I had not seen the

penis in any of these cases).

"For a considerable time only those lovers were dominant in my

imagination whom I had witnessed in the act that had so

poignantly affected me. My delight now took the form of imagining

myself strapped to the thighs of the person while this function

was in progress.

"By this time I must have been 8 years old. The cold and secret

relationship of which I have given an account had continued

without instructing me in any of the ardent possibilities it

might have suggested; no force or cruelty was used upon me, no

warmth was lavished. It made little difference that my companion

had now discovered the act of masturbation; it had no meaning to

me, since it led to no warmth of embrace. His method was to avert

himself from me; I had to fawn upon him from the rear and also to

invent indecent stories to stimulate his imagination. I felt

myself a despised instrument, the mere spectator of an act which,

if directed toward me with any warmth, would have aroused the

liveliest appetite. At this time, as I have since seen, my

companion was gaining knowledge from the ancient classics. For a

time some charm was imparted by his instructing me to adopt a

superincumbent face-to-face embrace. The beginning of his puberty

was enormously attractive to me; had he been less cold-blooded I

could have responded passionately to his endearments; but he

always insisted on rigorous passivity on my part, and he

explained nothing. One day, by a small gratuity, he induced me to

offer him my mouth, though I still had no comprehension of the

result I was helping to attain. Once the orgasm occurred, and the

effect was extremely nauseous; after that he was more careful. My

companion was approaching manhood, and his demands became more

frequent, his exactions more humiliating.

"At the same time my passion for male love was growing stronger.

I was able to construct from the unsatisfactory bondage in which

I was held images of bodily embrace which I had not before had

sufficient sense of human contact to form, though I seldom

imagined any of the acts that in actual experience repulsed me.

One day, however, I shirked a particularly repulsive humiliation

which my companion had forced upon me. He discovered the

deception, rose from the prone position in which he lay, and

throwing me across his knees thrashed me violently.

I submitted

without a struggle, experiencing a curious sensation of pleasure

in the midst of my pain. When he repeated his order I found its

accomplishment no longer repulsive. One of the few pleasurable

memories this intimacy, extending over years, has left for me is

that moment of abject abasement to one who, with no warmth of

feeling, had yet once had sufficient energy to be brutal to me.

"It must have been from this incident that the calculated effect

of flagellation began to have weight with me when I indulged my

imagination. A wish to be repulsed, trampled, violated by the

object of my passion took hold of my instincts. Even then--and,

indeed, up to my 13th year--I had no idea of normal sexual

connection. I knew vaguely that children were born from women's

bodies; I did not know--and when told I did not believe--the true

facts of the marital relationship. All that I had experienced--both in fact and imagination--was to me so highly

individual that I had no notion anything kindred to it could

exist outside of my own experience. I had no notion of sex as the

basis of life. Even when I came gradually to realize that men and

women were formed in a way that argued connection with each

other, I still believed it to be a dissolute sort of conduct, not

to be indulged in by those who had claims to respectability.

"I had, however, by this time arrived at a strong attraction

toward the organs of generation and all aspects of puberty, and

my imagination spent Itself in a fantastic worship of every sign

of masculinity. My enjoyment now was to imagine myself forced to

undergo physical humiliation and submission to the caprice of my

male captors, and the central fact became the discharge of urine

from my lover over my body and limbs, or, if I were very fond of

him, I let it be in my face. This was followed usually by a

half-caressing castigation, in which the hand only was

instrumental.

"The period of which I am now writing was that of my entry into

school life. My imaginary lovers immediately became numerous; all

the masters and all the boys above a certain age attracted me;

for two I had in addition a feeling of romantic as well as

physical attachment. Indeed, from this time onward I was never

without some heroes toward whom I indulged a perfectly separate

and tenderly ideal passion. The announcement that one was about

to leave surprised me into a passionate fit of weeping; yet my

reserve was so great and my sense of isolation so crushing that I

made no effort at intimacy, and to one for whom I felt

inexhaustible devotion I barely spoke for the first three years,

though meeting him daily. At this time the subjects of my

contemplation had distinctly individualized methods of approach.

Thus in one case I imagined we stood face to face in our

night-gear; suddenly mine was stripped from me; I was seized and

forcibly thrust under his and made to hang with my feet off the

ground by my full weight on the erect organ which inserted

itself between my thighs; so suspended--my body enveloped in the

folds of his linen and my face pressed upon his heart--I

underwent a castigation which continued until I was thrown down

to receive a discharge of urine over my prostrate body. Such

images seemed to come independently of my will.

"It was at this time that I found a large pleasure in imagining

contact with people whom I disliked; the prevailing note of these

intimacies was always cruelty, to which I submitted with acute

relish. I discovered, however, from the ordinary school

experiences of corporal punishment, that it had no charm to me

when administered for school offenses, even from the hands under

which at other times I imagined myself as delighting to receive

pain. The necessary link was lacking; had I perceived on the part

of my judge any liking for the operation, there would probably

have been a response on my side. On one occasion I was flogged

unjustly; conscious as I was of its cruel instead of judiciary

character, this was the only castigation I received which had in

it an element of gratification for my instincts. At the same time

I never forgave the hand that administered it; it is the only

instance I remember in myself of a grudge nourished for years.

"Meanwhile, amid this chaos of confused love and hatred, of

relish for cruelty and loathing for injustice, my first

thoroughly romantic and ideal attachment was developing itself. I

may say, of those to whom romance as well as physical attachment

bound me, that they have remained unchangeable parts of my

nature. Today, as it was twenty years ago, when I think of them

the blood gushes to my brain, my hands tingle and moisten with an

emotion I cannot subdue: I am at their feet worshipping them. Of

them my dreams were entirely tender; the idea of cruelty never

touched the conception I had of them. But I return to that one

who was the chief influence of my youth: older than myself by

only three years, he was of fine build and athletic, with

adolescence showing in his face; my tremulous beginnings of

worship were confirmed by a word of encouragement thrown to me

one day as I went to receive my first flogging; no doubt my

small, scared face excited his kind pity. I made it my concern

afterward to let him know that I had not cried under the ordeal,

and I believe he passed the word around that I had taken my

punishment pluckily. So little contact had I with him that beyond

constant worship on my part I remember nothing till, about three

years later, I received from him a kind, half-joking solicitation, spoken in clean and simple language.

So terrific

was my shyness and secrecy that I had even then no idea that

familiarity of the sort was common enough in schools. I was

absolutely unable to connect my own sensations with those of the

world at large or to believe that others felt as I did. On this

occasion I simply felt that some shrewd thrust had been made at

me for the detection of my secret. He had drawn me upon his knee;

I sat there silent, flushing and dumbfounded. He made no attempt

to press me; he had, as he thought, said enough if I chose to be

reciprocal; beyond that he would not tempt me. A few years ago I

heard of him married and prosperous.

"In following up my emotions in this direction I have far

outstripped the period up to which I have given a complete

exposition of my development. I must have been more than 12 years

old before school life persuaded me to face (as taught by

sniggering novices) the actual facts of sexual intercourse. At

the same time I learned that I had means of extracting enjoyment

from my own body in a definite direction which I had not till

then suspected. A growing resistance on my part to his cold

desires had led to a break with my former intimate; to the last

he had taught me nothing, except distaste for himself. I now

found ready teachers right and left of me. One of my schoolfellows invited me to watch; him in the process of

masturbation; the spectacle left me quite unmoved; the result

appeared to me far less exciting than the discharge of urine

which, until then, I had associated with male virility. I was so

accustomed to my own lone amorous broodings that the effort and

action required for this process, when I attempted to imitate it,

disconcerted my thoughts and interfered with concentration on my

own inventions. I had never experienced the pleasure accompanying

the spasm of emission, and there seemed to be nothing worth

trying for along that road. I desisted and returned to my

reveries. I was now in a perfect maze of promiscuity; there must

have been at least fifty people who attracted me at that time. I

developed a liking for imagining myself between two lovers,

generally men who were physical contrasts. It was my habit to

analyze as minutely as possible those who attracted me. To gain

intimacy with what was below the surface I studied with attention

their hands, the wrists where they disappeared (showing the hair

of the forearm), and the neck; I estimated the comparative size

of the generative organs, the formation of the thighs and

buttocks, and thus constructed a presentment of the whole man.

The more vividly I could do this, the keener was the pleasure I

was able to obtain from their contemplated embraces.

"Till now I had been absolutely untouched by any moral scruples.

I had the usual acquiescence in the religious beliefs in which I

had been trained; it did not enter my head that there was any

divine law, one way or the other, concerning the allurements of

the imagination. From my thirteenth year slight hints of

uneasiness began to creep into my conscience. I began perhaps to

understand that the formulas of religion, to which I had listened

all my life with as little attention as possible, had some

meaning which now and then touched the circumstances of my own

life. I had not yet realized that my past foretold my future, and

that women would be to me a repulsion instead of an attraction

where things sexual were concerned. I had the full conviction

that one day I should be married; I had also some fear that as I

grew to manhood I might succumb to the temptations of loose

women. I had an incipient revulsion from such a fate, and this

seemed to me to indicate that moral stirrings were at work within

me. One night I was amorously attacked in my bedroom by two of

the domestics. I experienced an acute horror which I hid under

laughter; my resistance was so desperate that I escaped with a

tickling. I had been accustomed to sit on the servants' knees, a

habit I had innocently retained from childhood; I can now recall

in detail the approaches these women had been used to make me. At

the time I was utterly oblivious that anything was intended.

"I was equally oblivious to things that had a nearer relation to

my own feelings. In passing along a side-street one night I was

overtaken by a man who began conversation on the weather. He

asked me if I were not cold, began passing his hand up and down

my back; then came a question about caning at school, whether

certain parts of me were not sore, leading to an investigating

touch. I put his hand aside shyly, but did not resent the action.

Presently he was for exploring my trousers pockets and I began to

think him a pickpocket; repulsed in that direction, he returned,

to rubbing my back. The sensation was pleasant. I now took him

for a pimp who wished to take me to a prostitute, and as at that

time I had begun to realize that such pleasures were not to my

taste I was glad to find myself at my destination, and said

good-bye sharply, leaving him standing full of astonishment at

his failure with one who had taken his advances so pleasantly. I

could not bring myself to believe that others had the same

feelings as myself. Later I realized my escape, not without a

certain amount of regret, and constructed for my own pleasure a

different termination to the incident.

"I was now so possessed by masculine attraction that I became a

lover of all the heroes I read of in books. Some became as vivid

to me as those with whom I was living in daily contact. For a

time I became an ardent lover of Napoléon (the incident of his

anticipation of the nuptials with his second wife attracting me

by its impetuous brutality), of Edward I, and of Julius Cæsar.

Charles II I remember by a caressing cruelty with which my

imagination gifted him. Jugurtha was a great acquisition.

Bothwell, Judge Jefferies, and many villains of history and

fiction appealed to me by their cruelty.

"I had become an adept in the mental construction necessary for

the satisfaction of my desires. And yet up to that date I had

never seen the nude body of a full-grown adult. I had no

knowledge of the extent to which hair in certain instances

develops on the torso; indeed, my efforts at characterization

centered, for the most part, around the thighs and generative

organs. At this time one of my schoolfellows saw a common

workman, known to me by name, bathing in a stream with some

companions; all his body was, my informant told me, covered with

hair from throat to belly. In face the man was coarse and

repulsive, but I now began to regard him as a lovely monstrosity,

and for many nights embraced the vision of him passionately, with

face buried in the jungle growth of hair that covered his chest.

I was, for the first time, conscious of deliberately (and

successfully) willing not to see his face, which was distasteful

to me. At the same time another schoolfellow told me, concerning

a master who bathed with the boys, that hair showed above his

bathing-drawers as high as the navel. I now began definitely to

construct bodies in detail; the suggestion of extensive hairiness

maddened me with delight, but remained in my mind strongly

associated with cruelty; my hairy lovers never behaved to me with

tenderness; everything at this period, I think, tended to draw me

toward force and violence as an expression of amativeness. A

schoolfellow, a few years my senior, of a cruel, bullying

disposition, took a particular delight in inflicting pain on me:

he had particularly pointed shoes, and it was his custom to make

me stand with my back to him while he addressed me in petting and

caressing tones; just when his words were at their kindliest he

would inflict a sharp stroke with the toe of his boot so as to

reach the most tender part of my fundament; the pain was

exquisite; I was conscious that he experienced sexual pleasure (I

had seen definite signs of it beneath his clothing), and, though

loathing him, I would, after I had suffered from his kicks, throw

myself into his imaginary embraces and indulge in a perfect rage

of abject submission. Yet all the time I would gladly have killed

him.

"At the age of 14 I went, for a time, to a farm-house, where I

was allowed to mingle familiarly with the farm-laborers, a fine

set of muscular young men. I became a great favorite, and, having

childish, caressing manners a good deal behind my real age, I was

allowed to take many liberties with them. They all lived under

the farmer's roof in the old-fashioned way, and in the evening I

used to sit on their knees and caress and hug them to my heart's

content. They took it phlegmatically; it apparently gave them no

surprise. One of the men used to return my squeezes and caresses

and once allowed me to put my hand under his shirt, but there

were no further liberties.

"It was not until I was nearly 15 that the event happened which

made me, for the first time, restless in my enforced solitude. I

was verging on puberty, and perhaps in the hope that I should

find my own development met by a corresponding warmth I again

came into intimate relations with the companion whose frigid

performances had caused me weariness and disgust. He was now a

man, having reached majority. He put me into his bed while he

undressed himself and came toward me in perfect nudity. In a

moment we were in each other's arms and the deliciousness of that

moment intoxicated me. Suddenly, lying on the bed, I felt

attacked, as I thought, by an imperative need to make water. I

leaped up with a hurried excuse, but already the paroxysm had

subsided. No discharge came to my relief, yet the need seemed to

have passed. I returned to my companion, but the glamour of the

meeting was already over. My companion evidently found more

pleasure in my person than when I was a mere child; I felt moved

and flattered by the pleasure he took in pressing his face

against certain parts of my body. On a second occasion, one day,

I seemed involuntarily about to transgress decency, but again, as

before, separated myself, and remained ignorant of what it was on

which I had verged in my excitement. At another meeting, however,

I had been allowed to prolong my embrace and to act, indeed, upon

my full instincts. Once more I felt suddenly the coming of

something acutely impending; I took my courage in my hands and

went boldly forward. In another moment I had hold of the

mysterious secret of masculine energy, to which all my years of

dilirious imaginings had been but as a waiting at the threshold,

the knocking on a closed door.

"It was inevitable that from that day our intimacy should dwindle

into dissolution (though other causes anticipated this natural

decay), but I no longer found masturbation a dry and wearisome

formula. In my novitiate I was disheartened to find how long it

took me to dissociate myself from the contemplative and attach

myself to the active form of self-gratification. But I presently

found myself committed to the repetition of the act three times a

day. On almost the last occasion I met my intimate he showed an

exceptional ardor. At that meeting he proposed to attempt an act

I had not previously considered possible, far less had I heard

that it was considered the worst criminal connection that could

take place. I had a slight fear of pain, but was willing to

gratify him, and for the first time found in my submission a

union of the two amative instincts which had before disputed sway

in me: the instinct for tenderness and the instinct for cruelty.

_Pedicatio_ failed to take place, but I received an embrace which

for the first time gave me full satisfaction. My delight was

enormous; I was filled with emotions. I have no words to describe

the extraordinary charm of the warm, smooth flesh upon mine, and

the rougher contact of the hairy parts. Yet I was conscious, even

at the time, that this was but the physical side of pleasure, and

that he was not and never could be one whom I might truly be said

to love.

"I was now in my sixteenth year, and under the influence of these

and many other emotions then, for the first time, beginning to

seize me, a sense of literary power and a desire to express

myself through imaginative channels began to take hold of me. I

feared that my indulgence was having an enfeebling power on my

faculties (I had begun to experience physical languor and

depression), and certain religious scruples, the result of my

early training, took hold of me. For the first time I became

conscious that the ardors I felt toward my own sex were a

diversion of the sex-instinct itself, and to my astonishment and

consternation I found by chance the practices I had already

indulged in definitely denounced in the Bible as an abomination.

From that moment began a struggle which lasted for years. I made

a final breach with my former intimate, and thereupon a long

dispute took place between the conflicting influences that strove

for possession of my body. For a time I broke off the habit of

masturbation, but I could not so easily rid myself of the mental

indulgence, which was now almost an essential sedative for

inducing sleep. At this time a visit to the seaside, where, for

the first time, I was able to see men bathing in complete nudity,

frankly, in the full light of day, plunged me again for a time

headforemost into imaginative amours, and my scruples and

resolutions were flung to the winds. But, on the whole, I had now

entered a stage which, for want of a better term, I must describe

as the emotionally moral. To whatever depth of indulgence I

descended I carried a sense of obliquity with me; I believed that

I was a rebel from a law, natural and divine, of which yet no

instinct had been implanted in me. I still held unquestioned the

truth of the religion I had been br