Focus not on the rudenesses of others,
not on what they’ve done or left undone,
but on what you have and haven’t done yourself.
—The Dhammapada - Chapter 4, Verse 50
I met a woman the other morning who told me, “I held my phone up for an hour to take a time-lapse video of the sunrise for my mother, and when I sent it to her, all she sent back was a thumbs up.” She laughed and said, “Why do we even have mothers!?”
There was laughter on the outside, but there was pain on the inside. All I could think about was how this disappointment comes down to failed expectations, wanting someone else to be something they’re not.
I had a similar “failed expectations” moment flare up the other day when someone no-showed me last second without an explanation. I think all you can do is move others into a category of people with a different standard of ethics and behavior that better suits them, then continue upholding your own. Moping over wishing they were different doesn’t help you, and it certainly won’t change them. Lowering your expectations of everyone around doesn’t do much good either. Simply observing who they are objectively is the way to go. Then, you’ll appreciate those who align with your standards all the more.
Aim for that non-attachment.