The Master said,
“When we see men of worth,
we should think of equaling them.
When we see men of a contrary character,
we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.”
—Analects of Confucius - 4:17
The other day, I saw a fifty-something year-old man take his shirt off at the beach. In the “tramp stamp” region of his back, there were letters tattooed that you could read from a mile away: PSYCHO.
This is a bold choice in life. Allow me to explain why.
As defined by the dictionary app on my phone, this word means, “An unstable and aggressive person,” as in, “My ex is a total psycho.”
Alternatively, UrbanDictionary.com offers, “A person who doesn’t cry when Mufasa dies in The Lion King,” which I think paints a sound picture of who we’re dealing with here.
Let me just be clear: I’m not judging the application of permanent ink on your skin. In fact, I have a few tattoos myself. It was just this particular choice of word that caught me by surprise.
It wasn’t long before he began approaching girls who were clearly several decades his junior, though, and I thought that perhaps the description fit the bill. And it was here that I began wondering what type of woman actually fancies a gentleman with such a label on his spine.
Perhaps those confused gals who kept writing Ted Bundy love letters in jail, for example. I mean, it’s clearly a niche audience he had in mind when getting this permanent red flag. It’s a serious filtration method that boils down the core group of options you have remaining—which, perhaps, is the point.
I just want to know if, before starting, the tattoo artist at least asked, “Are you sure?”
After I saw this man of contrary character get rejected by girls who weren’t even born when The Lion King debuted, I decided to turn inward and examine myself.
I said, “Self, if you were to wear a giant noun as a tramp stamp on your back, what word would it be?”
I thought about “writer,” or “humorist,” or “philosopher,” but they all sounded a tad arrogant when I imagined removing my shirt at the beach. And then a word popped into mind that stirs up as much intrigue as it does humble pity. A word that might draw someone in, instead of scare them away. A word that says, “I, too, cried when Mufasa died.” And that word is NERD
What would your word be?