The wise man beholds all beings in the Self,
and the Self in all beings;
for that reason he does not hate anyone.
To the seer, all things have verily become the Self.
What delusion, what sorrow, can there be
for him who beholds that oneness?
—Isa-Upanishad - Verses 6-7
I recently got into a minor argument with someone, and in the heat of the moment, I could recognize how our frustrations mirrored one another. Each of us saw the other as stubborn in our way, and the discussion was going in circles. I don’t like interactions like this, but they’re important for reflecting on traits about oneself, or perhaps repeating stories from childhood. In this one, I could feel a trigger from a parental relationship bubbling up from adolescence. Fortunately, in this case, this person and I could agree to disagree and end the conversation with respect. It was not so much the case back then.
Anyway, I’ve scratched the surface of reading stoic philosophy over the years, and I believe in the importance of being in control of your emotions, but there are still times when I allow mine to get the best of me. Whenever this occurs, I immediately try to dig into why it happened and resolve the underlying issue that lingers beneath the surface. This practice has allowed me to mature from the state of a leaf in the wind toward that of an immovable stone. I’m not quite there yet, but it’s the recognition when it happens and the ability to reflect upon it that’s important.
I’ve seen this concept of others providing a mirror for what you love and hate in yourself floating around as new age internet memes, but here we can see the concept dates back thousands of years. We should strive to be this seer of self in others and others in self, and hope to one day be the wise man who feels no anger, no sorrow, no delusion. The realization of oneness melts away the sense of diversity and, therefore, the cause of misery along with it. Or, as Eknath Easwaran translates the last line above, “How can the multiplicity of life delude the one who sees its unity?”