100 Quick Essays: From @TheDevoutHumorist by Kyle Woodruff - HTML preview

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DONKEY > MARY

Then the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey,

and she said to Balaam,

“What have I done to you,

that you have struck me these three times?”

And Balaam said to the donkey,

“Because you have made a fool of me.

I wish I had a sword in my hand,

for then I would kill you!”

—Numbers 22:28-29

I could never understand how this Judeo-Christian story is defended as literal truth, but that’s fine. It’s also a story thrown out by critics when I knew there was still value to be derived, so I didn’t want to do that either. I don’t associate myself with any religion, so I don’t have to worry about defending whether it’s literal truth or not. Instead, I can view it along the lines of one of Aesop’s fables.

(I will say, though, the most unbelievable part isn’t that a donkey spoke, but that the man who owned the donkey didn’t even bat an eyelash when it started talking!)

Anyway, Balaam was on his way to do something the Lord was unhappy with, so the Lord sent an angel to stand in his path. Balaam, blinded by his intentions, failed to see the angel that his donkey noticed. As the angel drew his sword, the donkey turned off the path. Balaam, still oblivious, beat his donkey for veering off course. Twice more similar events occurred before we see the quote above. Then the Lord opened the eyes of Balaam so that he saw the angel before him with its sword drawn. He fell to his knees as the angel told him it may have killed him if not for his donkey.

I’ll leave the debate over whether a donkey spoke or whether it was an auditory illusion aside. These matters of “right” and “wrong” are beside the lessons we can derive here.

Lesson #1: When blinded by poor motivation, we may think the actions of faithful friends are against us when really they have our best intentions in mind.

Lesson #2: Who at first appears to be a sword-drawn adversary in our way may really be the voice of reason stopping the progress of our evil ways.

Lesson #3: Sometimes, it takes nothing short of a miracle for the inaudible to become audible and the invisible to become visible.

Just as my own first impression was to throw this story out as nonsense, there was more to it than initially seen.

(Bonus Fun Fact: There are more biblical words dedicated to this talking ass than the mother of Jesus! Imagine that.)