Know the Self as lord of the chariot,
the body as the chariot itself,
the discriminating intellect as charioteer,
and the mind as reins.
[…]
With a discriminating intellect as charioteer
and a trained mind as reins,
they attain the supreme goal of life
to be united with the Lord of Love.
—Katha Upanishad - Third Part, Verses 3-9
I’ve been feeling angry and irritated quite often lately. Part of it could be bullshit at work, part of it could be the nonsense life throws at us, part of it could be things piling up as I burn the candle at both ends, but mostly it just seems to be, well, there, lurking at the core.
Myofascia is a web-like membrane that separates and contains every muscle of the body. Myofascial release is a manual therapy that can relieve chronic tension created by this connective tissue. I’ve found good results when it comes to emotional trauma release while receiving treatment from a practitioner. For me, it serves as a meditation in listening to whatever memories arise as tensions in different parts of the body are worked out.
The more I peel back layers of the onion in the process of healing, though, the more this anger seems to come bubbling up, like lava through a thinning crust of earth. But after 90 minutes of work on the same pec minor (the one over the heart), I was able to dust off a chain of memories of feeling neglected or unimportant as a child. Internalized anger at others became a protective mechanism during spells of vulnerability.
“It can’t be me,” said the frightened ego, “so it must be them!”
Shedding light on this stored reaction allowed me to let go of a childish (i.e., youthfully ignorant) need to control my surroundings that way.
So what if I was unimportant in the eyes of another, I thought as the physical and emotional tension dissolved. There’s nothing I can do about it now!
All this to say that sometimes a wheel of the chariot is bent out of shape, and focusing on fixing that first can allow the charioteer to run a smoother ride.
Now, while this metaphor is cute to read, I believe that until you revisit the original memory and release the tension it caused in your body, mantras and meditations can be useless in creating lasting change on a subconscious level. So take hold of the reins and steer your chariot down those challenging paths. Or, perhaps, let them go.