Engendered Lives: A New Psychology of Women's Experience by Ellyn Kaschak, PH.D. - HTML preview

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3

Oedipus and Antigone

Revisited: The Family Drama

Moreover, the "dark continent'' trick has been pulled on her: she has been made to see ( = not see) woman on the basis of what man wants to see of her, which is to say, almost nothing. -Hélene Cixous The Newly Born Woman

What  is  sexuality?  Toward  whom  is  it  permissible  for  it  to  be  felt  and expressed?   Does  it  enhance  or  detract  from  one's  sense  of  self?   Is  it  safe  or endangering? Is it associated with feelings of pain, pleasure, or numbness? Does one seek or demand satisfaction or hide sexual  feelings  and acts?  Are they  shameful?  Do they  enhance one's  potency?  One's desirability? One's vulnerability?

The  learned  expressíons  of  sexuality  gíve  us  another  opportunity  to  consider  gender embodied. Everyone ís born wíth a genetícally determined sexual potential. The means and direction of that expression, at least in our society, ínvolve a narrowing of focus, a learning  of  what  ís  possíble,  what  ís  considered  appropríate  or  inappropriate.  While sexuality  changes  and  develops  throughout  the  lífe  cycle,  it  does  so  only  within  a context of learned meanings.

From the masculine perspectíve, women are defined by their bodies. Everything about a  woman  is  both  grounded  in  and  defined  by  her  female  body  and,  in  particular,  its sexuality,  defined  in  masculinist  society  as  the  ability  to  arouse,  rather  than    to experience,  desire.  The  measure  of  woman's  sexuality  is  man's  tumescence.  What about her is arousing, and even whether she intends to arouse, is also designated by the male. It may be her legs for a "leg man," her breasts for a "breast man," her resistance or her nonresistance for a rapist. His feelings become hers, his desire her desirability, his  admiration  her  measure  of  worth,  his  disdain  her  degradation,  his  ridicule  her humiliation.

Most    traditional    psychological    approaches    distinguish    between    normal    and pathological  fragmentation,  or  fetishistic  male  desire.  For  example,  it  is  considered perfectly normal for a man to be aroused by high-heeled shoes on a woman's feet. It is probably normal for him to be aroused by high heels just seen or about to be seen on someone's feet, or even fantasized on someone's feet. It is probably not normal for him to  be  aroused  by  the  shoes  alone  or  the  feet  alone-but  the  most  current  official diagnostic  system  permits  even  that,  as  long  as  the  relationship  is  not  repeatedly  or exclusively preferred (American Psychiatric Association I987). Only at   this arbitrary point does modern psychological thought consider it fetishistic.

Women's  sexuality   is  shaped  by  the  indeterminate  male  observer,  as  well  as  by  his more determínate representatives in her life, including her father and other significant male adults, as well as brothers and males from her peer group. It is also shaped by women: mothers or other female primary and secondary nurturers, and even daughters, both by example and by direct statement. It is influenced mightily by the messages of the  culture  communicated  through  movies  and  television  and,  in  particular,  through rock music and its purveyors. It is not absurd to ask whether children might learn more about sexuality from MTV than from their parents. These various influences typically do not contradict one another, but collude to instruct young girls that their sexuality is based on appearance and performance,  on desirability  rather than desire,  on  restraint rather  than  exploration.  Sexuality  is  perhaps  the  most  obviously  gendered  realm  of functioning in this society.

Masculinist psychological theory, when it has explicitly dealt with sexuality as a core construct,  has  typically  considered  that  of  women  by  extrapolation  from,  oras  a variation on, male sexuality. Freudian theory has given us the male and female oedipal complexes,  identical  up  to  the  point  of  resolution:  the  oedipal  complex  can  be  fully resolved in the male, as a bearer of the penis, but can never be resolved in the female, who  lacks  the  instrument  of  maturity.  Once  again,  women  are,  in  comparison  with men, only partially formed human beings according to this theory; full adult maturity requires, by definition, a penis.

Object-relations   theorists,   both   feminist   and   nonfeminist,   have   reconsidered   the Freudian approach and, in keeping with the Kleinian tradition, have focused on the pre–oedipal   stage   as   more   determinative   than   the   oedipal,   particularly   in   female development (Chodorow I978). Yet this approach still takes as its basis the oedipal, or male,  model.  Other  approaches  have  simply  considered  this  model  irrelevant  or  less than useful in its overemphasis on sexuality-and male sexuality, at that-as the central organizing  principie  in  human  development.  Certainly  it  is  reductionist  at  best, simplistic  and  damaging  to  women  at  worst.  It  would  thus  seem  that  a  feminist perspective  must  discard  the  myth  of  Oedipus  as  central  to  both  male  and  female psychology.

Yet perhaps there is something to be learned from the myth of Oedipus that is neither reductionist  nor  misogynist.  Perhaps  it  can  be  instructive  in  the  development  of  a complex   model   of   women's   psychology.   It   has   certainly   captured   the   popular imagination  through  severa  hundred  years  and  across  different  cultures  as  a  family drama unmasked. And so it is, but what if we were to read it more fully than did Freud, and not only from the perspective of the son?

BEYOND FREUD'S VIEW OF THE OEDIPAL CONFLICT

The myth of Oedipus as representative of the sexual development of the universal male child  and  his  incestuous  desires  toward  the  universal  mother  is  a  cornerstone  of Freudian   theory.   Upon   it   rests   the   dynamic   formulation   of   repression   and   the unconscious. The plight of the unfortunate Oedipus has been rendered so much a part of  popular  culture  that  it  would  seem  we  hardly  need  reminding  of  the  sequence  of events leading to the tragic fate of Oedipus the king. However, that very popularization from the perspective of the son only is what críes out for a retelling. Sophodes' trilogy of  plays  is,  in  fact,  replete  with  complex  familydilemmas.  Second  to  Oedipus  in importance  is  his  daughter/sister,  Antigone,  for  whom the  third  part  of  the trilogy  is named. As Oedipus represents the dilemma of the son, so does Antigone personify that of the dutiful daughter in patriarchal society?

Freud  turned  consistently  to  the  mythology  of  the  most  patriarchal  and  sexist  of civilizations, the Greek and the Roman, for psychological understanding. This may not be problematic insofar as one applies them in turn to patriarchal cultures such as our own.  Such an analysis,  however,  is not universal in any  sense,  but  may  be useful in understanding  family  dynamics  and  relationships  within  patriarchy.  As  such,  the oedipal  myth  is  far  richer  and  more  complex  than  is  indicated  by  Freud's  and subsequent readings of it. Certainly there are important characters other than Oedipus, and  their  dilemmas  as  members  of  the  family  and  society  must  be  considered.  Even that of Oedipus should not be reduced only to the role of son and husband, as he is seen primarily  as a father in two-thirds of the trilogy. While the most famous play  in the trilogy,  Oedipus  Rex,  was  written  by  Sophocles  in  about  425  B.C.,  Antigone  was actually written first, somewhere around 442 B.c. Oedipus at Colonus was written last, in 406 n.c., shortly before Sophocles' death at the age of ninety. As Rudnytsky I987) has noted, regardless of how one views the trilogy, Antigone must be considered the pivotal play, since it may be viewed as either a beginning or an ending. More to the feminist point, for the reader interested in the fate of the daughter and not just that of the son, Antigone must be considered as seriously as is Oedipus Rex.

In the familiar story, Oedipus ascends the throne as a result of solving the riddle of the Sphinx. Having murdered his father, King Laius, he can assume the paternal throne, whose spoils include the queen-his mother, Jocasta. For a period, the two incestuous partners rule Thebes happily and ignorantly as husband and wife. Two girls and two boys are born of their union: Antigone, Ismene, Polynices, and Eteocles. Only when Thebes falls upon hard times does Oedipus, in seeking the cause, discover the truth about his origins from the blind prophet Tiresias. True to his destiny, he had not avoided slaying bis father and marrying his mother.

Upon learning his true identity, Oedipus puts out his eyes with Jocasta's brooch, and she commits suicide by hanging herself. Her purpose in the family apparently ends with her role as wife to two kings and mother to one. There is virtually no evidence of a bond between her and the four children she bore with Oedípus. They appear to be their father's children.

Although Freud’s reading and the popular rendition end here, with Jocasta's death and Oedipus' self-intlicted blindness, a mere third of the play has unfolded at this point. The remainder involves the fate of Oedipus as well as his four children, particularly Antigone. As their lives continue, they will play out the destiny of their father/brother, Oedipus. While Jocasta is irrelevant to the next generation, so that her suicide does not impede but facilitares the  course of events, Oedipus' life must and does continue.

In Oedipus at Colonus, the blind Oedipus wanders the land, accompanied by and completely dependent upon Antigone, who serves as his protector and his eyes. Betrothed to the son of Creon-brother of Jocasta and successor to Oedipus-she is unable to marry him because she must instead spend her days caring for her father. As Oedipus had his destiny, sois this hers, each determined by the acts of their fathers, as they are children of their fathers and not their mothers. Ismene, although less central than Antigone, also devores herself to her father's welfare, while Oedipus' two  sons·have turned against him and each other and are contending for his lost throne. At the end of this section, Oedipus, guided by Antigone, returns to die a peaceful and honorable death. Before dying, Oedipus entrusts the . Welfare of his unprotected daughters to Theseus. He then orders tbe two away, since, as females and daughters, they are not entitled to "see what you sbould not see" (Rocbe I958, p. I55). Only Tbeseus, as a man and a king, can be with Oedipus in his last moments on eartb and can know the secret site (and sight) of bis death.

In tbe third pan, Antigone comes to tbe fore as a central character whose fare does or should concern us as much as does that of Oedipus. It is she who remains a faithful guide to her father and loyal to her brothers, thereby placing herself in peril. Her two brotbers continue to battle, ultimately to tbe death, tbus leaving Creon the undisputed master of Thebes. He orders that Polynices, who died figbting against bis own city, be left unburied and disbonored on the battlefield. When Antigone decides to defy Creon's order and bury her dead brother, she is summarily condemned to death by Creon. Haemon, Creon's son, responds to tbis edict by pleading with his fatber for merey toward his betrotbed, which his fatber denies. Antigone is soon found hanging, a similar death her only tie (a noose) to her mother. Dead by ber side and by bis own hand is Haemon.

Reading the Oedipus myth only from tbe masculine perspective renders the female cbaracters minor, íf not invisible. If it is read through a Freudian lens as a parable of sexual development, then one error of whicb we are quite aware is the resultant holding of female sexuality to a male standard, since the latter becomes the only standard. Sophodes' drama, as well as Freud's reading of ir, is from the perspectíve of the son. In fact, according to mythological tradition prior to Sophocles, it was the sin of Laius, father of Oedipus, in abducting and raping the son of King Pelops that brought the curse upon bis house. The sins of the father were visited upon the son and (tangentially, in the eyes of tbe ancient Greeks and of Freud) upon the wife/mother. Sophocles, however, "anticipated Freud's rejection of the seduction tbeory in favor of the Oedipus complex" (Rudnytsky I987, p. 255). The deeds of the father are replaced by tbe desires of the daughter (or son). As tbe hypothesís of seduction as a mere fantasy of the child has been repudiated by recent feminist clinical and empírica!work, which has conclusively established and documented the prevalence of molestation by fathers and other adult male relatives, so does this reading of the oedipal and Antigone myths demand another look. The deeds of the father and husband must be considered along with the perspective of the wife/mother and tbe daughter herself in order more fully to glean the dynamics of the family in patriarchal society.

lt now seems apparent to us that Freud, in repudiating the seduction hypothesis, was psychologically impelled to reject the notion that bis respected colleagues and friends could be sexually molesting theír daughters, or that he himself had a psychologically incestuous relationship with his own daughter, helpmeet, and analysand, Anna. There is also evidence, via a reported dream, of unrecognized feelings toward another of his daughters, Mathilde (Lerman I986). Additionally, Balmary (I979) has suggested that Freud's failure to recognize in the Oedipus myth the culpability of the father was tied to his failure to recognize bis own father's reputation as a Don Juan. By means of a psychological transfer that Freud himself would have labeled projection, the transgression of the father becomes the wish of the child. He never again dealt with sexuality of the adult male directed toward children (Lerman I986). Instead, it became children who sexually desired adults. Laius' sin becomes that of his son, and Oedipus' that of his children. As Freud's version imposes childhood sexuality upon adults, so does it attribute the depth and complexity of adult sexuality to children. lt assigns to women and children the embodiment of and responsibility for adult male sexuality. Instead let's look at adult sexuality as located not in chíldren but where it belongs, in adults.

As Oedipus' dilemma became a symbol for the dilemma of the son, so might that of Antigone be considered representative of the inevitable fate of the good daughter in the patriarchal family. While Freud (I975, pp. 382, 424) was aware that he had his own Antigone in the person of Anna, he failed to consider her dilemma from her perspective, and dynamically oriented psychology has, to this day, followed suit. Oedipus was a son anda husband, as was Freud, but both were also fathers. The fathers of psychology have all but ignored the psychology of fathers. In Antigone, Oedipus' fate is represented by his children, externalized representations of himself. The sons battle for his lost power, while the issue for his daughters is one of loyalty to him and to their brothers. He remains the focal point. So if Sophodes ignores the inherited curse of Laius, he does not omit the inherited curse of Oedipus, as the son is also the father. There is a great deal more to be understood about masculine psychology through reconsidering the myth of Oedipus, the father, and about the feminine through under- standing bis daughter Antigone.

Anna Freud (see Masson I984) took the position that if oedipal theory were removed from psychoanalytic theory, the importance of both conscious and unconscious fantasy would disappear with it. Freud's "discovery" of the Oedipus complex was applied to male children and later extended to females with a sleight of hand so clumsy that it captivated almost no one, least of all Freud himself. Even he eventually repudiated this construct, saying, "We have an impression here that what we have said about the Oedipus complex applies with complete strictness to the male child only, and that we are right in rejecting the term 'Electra complex' whích seeks to emphasize the analogy between the attitude of the two sexes" (in Strachey I953-74, pp. 228-29).

The Electra terminology was not adopted, but a symmetrical model of female  and male psychosexual development is still with us. The oedipal conflict and Freud's reading of the Oedipus myth have influenced the views of generations of psychotherapists concerning childhood sexuality, induding many feminist theorists, who accept the basic model while focusing on the pre-oedipal years as crucial for the development of females. According to Freud himself, "The phase of exclusive attachment to the mother, which may be called the pre-Oedipus phase, possesses a far greater importance in women than it can have in men" (in Strachey I953-74, p. 230). Nancy Chodorow and many contemporary feminist object-relations theorists have returned ro an emphasis on this stage of development for the female:

There is analytic agreement that tbe preoedipal period is of different lengtb in girls   and   boys.   Tbere   is   also   an   agreed   on,   if   undeveloped,   formulation concerning those gender differences in tbe nature and quality of the preoedipal motber-child relationsbip. . . . As a hoy moves into oedipal attachment ... , bis fatber does become an object of bis ambivalence. At tbis time, tbe girl's intense ambivalent attacbment remains with ber mother. [Cbodorow I978, p. 97]

Yet  even  sucb  a  focus  accepts  the  different  stages  of  the  basic  oedipal  model  as appropriate for both genders, and it is this very model that merits reexamination. While sorne of the best-known male thinkers througbout history,   from Hegel to Nietzsche, have  concerned  themselves  with  tbe  plight  of  Oedipus,  the  son,  it  remains  for  us  to consider the myth through female eyes.

OEDIPAL PSYCHOLOGY OF THE SON/FATHER: A FEMINIST INTERPRETATION

Por a boy or man in patriarchal culture, women are often not experienced as individual’s separare from himself. First his mother, then his wife, and finally his daughters are experienced as extensions of bimself and his own needs. While he must experience the frustration of inevitably partial gratification of bis needs by bis mother or her substitute, he is instructed by her, by bis father, and by society that he continues to have the right to expect caretaking and gratification from females. The male child  fails to resolve this infantile grandiosity, but only transfers it from bis mother to other women. He is the king of bis domain, as was Oedipus, saved by bis mother, although her own life and that of his father were thereby put in peril. Oedipus eventually loses her, along with bis throne and bis eyesight; however, he does not even pause to mourn her loss, so concerned is he with bis own fate as a man and a king. Oedipus simply transfers his sense of entitlement to Antigone, who takes over from Jocasta as an extension of him and bis fate. His fate becomes hers. Her mission is to serve him, to provide both sight and sustenance, yet still she is viewed as weaker than he. "For who would borrow eyes to walk or lean his weight on weakness?" (Roche I958, p. 92).

The oedipal complex in men rardy reaches resolution in a patriarchal society, as adult men typically continue to experience themselves in this grandiose manner, which includes a sense of entitlement to women. Thus, it is a complex neither of childhood nor of sexua·lity narrowly defined, but one that applies more generally to masculine psychology in a patriarchal system. lt is characterized by extensive boundaries that subsume others, particularly females, who are considered to contain the feelings, conflicts, and meanings that  men attribute to them. For Freud, this meant that  the transgressions of the fathers were really the desires of the daughters. For fathers, this means that  their daughters exist to meet their (the fathers') needs. It is the right of the fathers to train their daughters to please them in all ways, including sexuallythe latter al! too frequently through incest and through the father's perceived right to view and comment upon bis daughter in a sexualized manner. This right is extended to all men in a patriarchal society, who have the right to view and evaluare, to sexualize any woman who falls within the range of their sight.

Gregory Zilboorg (I944) noted, as did Freud, that father-daughter incest was the last incest taboo to be introduced. According to Zilboorg, matrilineal inheritance made a mother and children one class and the father and children another. Since this taboo had to do with the preservation of property, it evolved as necessary. This analysis misses the obvious: if the inheritance or property of the father indudes the daughter, then this is not as likely to be considered a necessary taboo and will be the most frequently violated. In a pamphlet published by Barbara Bodichon in I854, she noted: "The legal custody of children belongs to the father. During the lifetime of a sane father, the mother has no rights over her children, except a limited power over infants, and the father may take them from her and dispose of them as he thinks fit" (in Heilbrun I988, p. 85). Psychologically, if not legally, the contemporary father may not consider his sexual right to his daughter to be a violation at all. lt is by virtue of their gaze that men sin against women, that they objectify them, make them prisoners of appearance, of age and color, of physical beauty, of their shape and size. Only through blindness can such sight cease to oppress. Oedipus rips off Jocasta's brooches and destroys his eyes, not his genitals, in an act of self-mutilation. No one is castrated or even threatened with castration. Blindness and not castration is the appropriate punishment for Oedipus' sin. The prophet Tiresias, who revealed his fate to Oedipus, was also blind. Perhaps to be a wise man he must be blind, justas, in order  not to continue to sin, Oedipus must also be blinded. Freud considered this blindness to describe the "strange state of mind in which one knows and does not know a thing at the same time" (Rudnytsky I987, p. 2I, from Strachey I953-74, p. II7)-that is, repression. Sorne time after his self-mutilation, Oedipus reconsiders and decides that he may have punished himself too harshly:

And yet, how was I the sinner?

I provoked to self-defense in such a way

that even had I acted with full knowledge,

even then, it never could be called a sin. [Roche I958, p. 97]

Jocasta,  dead  by  her  own  hand,  is  never  viewed  in  this  light  nor  is  her  death lamented. In fact, Oedipus eventually manages to deposit his own shame into Jocasta, saying to her brother, Creon, who succeeds Oedipus as king: "And to her shame she gave me children" (Roche I958, p. 97). Later, his explanation for this transfer of blame continues:

Neither in this marriage then

shall I be called to blame

nor in the way my father died-

on which you harp with so much spite.

Let me ask you this, one simple thing:

if at this moment someone should

step up to murder you,

would you, godly creature that you are,

stop and say: Excuse me, sir, are you my father? [Roche I958, p. I28]

In fact, Oedipus does continue to commit a related, but not explicitly sexual, sin by treating Antigone as an extension of himself and his eyes. He gets another chance  to  resolve  his  Oedipus  complex,  but  does  not  use  it  wisely.  Jocasta  is given no such option. A woman has a chance at engulfment only once with her children, who must eventually leave her and forget their profound tiesto her. She is  dead  to  them  in  this  sense,  as  was  Jocasta  to  her  children.  She  should  not stand in their way. Aman continues on once his days with his mother are done. All  his  women  are  extensions  of  him;  he  gets  many  more  chances  to  engulf them, as well as to be mothered.

As the oedipal son passes through the stage of relinquishing his mother, he begins to look at other women. Through adolescence and adulthood, he retains the prerogative to evaluate and sexualize all women but his mother, including his own daughters. In total blindness he loses the sexualized gaze, yet even then does not lose his kingly sense of entitlement.

Oedipus, the son, was fated by the gods to become Oedipus, the husband of his mother. Jocasta herself comments that many men, if only in their dreams, have married their mothers. She speaks for masculine entitlement to their mothers and to their dreams and fantasies. She is part of the spoils of the king, the chosen one. She is a medium of exchange between Oedipus and Creon, Oedipus and Laius. lt is not she who calls for the punishment of Oedipus. Instead she comes quite close to acknowledging his entitlement to her. In the traditional arrangement, wives are also mothers to their husbands, supplying emotional and physical sustenance in the form of caring, feeding, cleaning, and the like. So Jocasta is Oedipus' wife/mother. She is neither threatening nor castrating in any way. He is blinded, but it is she who dies for the sin. While she could be passed along to the next king, her brother, Creon, this would undoubtedly turna tragedy into a comedy in men's eyes.

Jocasta is certainly not a person in her own right, but a wife, a prize to the king, someone from whom her children must separate. The connection between her and her children must be rendered invisible as they pass from childhood to the masculine world of the father. As children carry their father's name, they are his and not hers. In inquiring after Oedipus' identity upon his return,