Preface:
Acceptance, the wise say, is the genius within, an intellectualism and intelligence, core and critical for life-living wellness and excellence. However, acceptance is possible, only when there is this golden eligibility of ‘Higher Consciousness’ – the state of awareness of ‘self’ or ‘I’, which has the ability to see through all our acts and behaviors with objectivity, logicality and equanimity of neutrality. No other life-living realism, except ‘Love’ needs this art and science of ‘acceptance’ more as, true love is not visceral ‘auto-mode-availability’, as most see and accept, but an ‘evolved equity’ of higher consciousness…!
The wise have warned –
“The sub-conscious mind is a stupid audience; applauding even the quirkiest of performances by our ‘conscious mind’, at the chaotic arena of life; especially in love. People, as ‘theatre’ of all joys and pains need to be wary of the ‘spectator-frenzy’, coaxing you to write ‘scandalous-scripts’ of life-dramas. Guard against passion, especially, when you are in love’s compassion...”
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… At The Very Outset!
The scientifically and logically inclined people have said it and most have gleefully admitted it that – Falling in love is a beautifully enticing trap set up by nature and human visceral wired behavioral choice is designed such a way that even this innate ‘fight and flight’ mode ingenuity does not help people in creating a ‘diversion’ from the ‘trap’…!
Means; there is a definitive Game Plan of nature, which it has wired in our body-mind mechanism and what we see and accept love as, is nature’s own machination, unveiling in mystically magical ways, making most of us fall in line with its diktat. Probably, this seems to be why, the popular expression about incidence of love is – ‘To Fall In Love…!’ It is like, finally falling in the ‘trap’ and meeting the inevitability of nature’s wired realism…!
Science confirms, human visceral wired behavioral choice is designed such a way that even this innate ‘Fight And Flight’ mode ingenuity does not help people in creating a ‘diversion’ from this ‘trap’ of nature. Science confirms, not only humans, but many species often compromise with their innate drive for ‘survival’, falling for the most powerful drive of love. It is simply because, nature means business and it is concerned only about business of procurement – incessant reproduction…!
This means, what we feel so great about and what we never fail to celebrate with all possessions of lifetime, is essentially a sort of wired or instinctive optionlessness for most humans – men or women. So, essentially, what most of us popularly accept love as is an optionless incidence of inevitability; yet we assign and align all our energies, not to ‘free’ ourselves from this ‘trap’, but enjoy and celebrate this nature’s trap!
The best way to free oneself from this nature’s trap is to understand the mechanism and process of love and its incidence. Most of us however, fall for the trap, well before our consciousnesses evolve to a stage, where this desirability of understanding love installs itself in our minds…
It is strange but seems very true – Love happens when body-mind dualism plays at its worst best and we are in most precarious positioning of righteous judgment. Still, humanity has evolved to ‘celebrate’ this confusion, chaos and conflict of life and living. This is populism playing at its worst best for humanity. And, this emanates from ‘erroneous’ understanding of process and mechanism of idea and reality called Love…
The core idea is – Love is a passive incidence and nobody can be sure about it because, it is the way our body-mind mechanism works for us. In some weird sense, this very sense of ‘I’ is a passive incidence for most of us; though we never admit it.
However, such a state of ‘I’, our consciousness, is a very calamitous proposition. This is the state, which makes us see and accept, how powerful and intense is the trap of nature, installed in us, deep inside our body and mind mechanisms. This is the situation, we need to be cautious of and recall all our conscious elements to stay warned and decisive…
Love, as most of us popularly see and accept is not a celebration idea and realism. It is a trap and a trap should never be celebrated but conscious ideas must be evolved to come out of it…
What humans, especially young men and women need is ‘compassion’ and not ‘passion’. What we all need for life-living wellness and excellence is not love but empathy of thoughts and equanimity of consciousness. This alone makes us endowed and empowered to rise above ‘drives’ and ‘visceral traps’, to consciously choose the path of righteous options. We have little choice – We all need poise and control, never indecisive optionlessness of body and mind…
As the wise say – ‘What we desire is what we ‘want’ but all we want, is not what we ‘need’. This is nature’s trap working within us. It has installed desires deep within us and this very potentially powerful trap is our ‘wants’. Love is some stupid ‘want’, most of us seldom ‘need’. What we need and what we should want is – compassion, equanimity, amicability and objective thoughtfulness of logical discretion…
Though, this powerful and universally transcendental desire to fall in love is a sort of wired or instinctive optionlessness for most humans – men or women; love happens to be a cumulative mechanism of multiplicity of brain processes, which itself is a complex cooperative function of various brain parts. That is probably why science is yet to decipher the ‘singular code’ of incidence of love and bio-chemistry of love…
Yet, there are some good scientific revelations, tumbled down after some researches, which definitively land us in better preparedness and readiness of incidence of love. We all must know it and keep into account. To know is to journey the road to empowerment…
According to study conducted at Rutgers University, USA, there is a ‘factsheet’, which we all must know and factor in, in love –
The study reveals: “How our brain decides, we are in love” –
How beautifully mystical yet so given to confusion and chaos; as is common in love matters! We all may be very enthusiastic about saying and listening the pair of words – ‘I Love You’, but the study shows, and we all have little trouble accepting it, that words often fail or do not matter much in love matters of hearts…!
This acceptance about futility of words (Only 7% weight) also opens up the big door of confusion about love and its incidence. If 55% of love signals are wordless and only signs, there are bound to be ‘wrong-signaling’ and ‘misreading’. There is also this question as how good our brain is in ‘reading’ and ‘writing’ these wordless signs. Moreover, when even words can be used as ‘effective tools’ of deception and hypocrisy in love, how easy it can be for anyone, who wishes to fake love and master his or her craft of deception in love. Many do it, more people are mastering this ‘craft’ and we all are very careful about deception in love…
If whopping 93 percent of ‘love-signs’ are without words, only ‘sight and sound’, is it not very easy for ingenious men and women to masquerade this whole economics and chemistry of love…!
This however is not the end of trouble for lovers. Love is more mystical to discount any lesser troubles. According to the study by Arthur Arun, on an average, the mind of a person takes between 90 seconds to 4 minutes to determine whether it is struck by love or not.
Now, we all know, our brain takes 20 minutes to register that our stomach is full and that is why we often overeat; then how can one be very sure that what his or her brain has decided in less than five minutes about love, is right? This is stupidly mystical…
If we accept that 93 percent of signals that our brain depends on for judgment about ‘incidence of love’ is ‘sight & sound’ and not words, which we all are also not very good at, then we all are inclined to accept that this must be a tough task for our brains to test the validity of such ‘abstract signs’. Naturally, we imagine, such difficult judging business must take some good hours and days, if not weeks and months…!
We all know that science has proved that love emotions are handled by different parts of the brain as love involves three stages – Lust, Attraction & Attachment. All three stages involve different sets of hormones and therefore are handled by different parts of our brain. Naturally, this cooperative and symmetry business of ‘well-aligned’ decision-making should ideally be a long-process, assigned some good hours, if not days and weeks…!
However, what the scientific study suggests is that our brain decides this all-important ‘love question’ in less than five minutes! And, we have reasons to believe this study as we all know and accept that we all are huge ‘Mega Entrepreneurs’ in ‘judging business’. We take less than five seconds in judging people and most crucial aspects about our choices. We may not accept it but we do it very often…!
Let us also know a bit about how our brain decides and arrives at what choices we make in our lives. Let us have a peek-o-boo at how our brain decides –
Science says – Our brains appear wired in ways that enable us, often unconsciously, to make the best decisions possible with the information we’re given. In simplest terms, the process is organized like a Court Trial. Sights, sounds, and other sensory evidence are entered and registered in sensory circuits in the brain. Other brain cells act as the brain’s ‘jury,’ compiling and weighing each piece of evidence. When the accumulated evidence reaches a critical threshold, a judgment, a decision is made.
If we accept that decision-making by our brain is like a ‘court-trail’, we then must be aware how our courts work. The core hypothesis of all judging business is – Even if hundred culprits go scot-free, an innocent must never be sentenced for culpability. This then means – Judging and decision-making about culpability is a serious thing and therefore must be assigned good amount of judicious time and space…!
However, study shows, we are wired to make decisions about love matters only in less than five minutes and that too based on 93 percent such ‘evidences’, which are abstract, not tangible. This somehow points at as why ‘court-trail’ of mind decisions in love matters is not good and needs sound evidences…!
Now, you decide…! And, think about the ‘judicial process’, your brain must adopt and accept for ‘delivering judgments’. Let us all be ‘good judge’ and follow golden principles of judgeship. Success of love and in love is not only about individual choice. Rather, successes of love are crucial for social and all collective wellness. When love succeeds, life succeeds…!
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… Innocence: The Intellectualism Of Love
True love does not look for ends of life. It believes in the simple fact that life is one endless drive and on the way look for no signposts to reach anywhere…the joy and satisfaction of journey is more important than the nobility and utility of destination. There is no need to reach.
Be on an endless journey and make it your destination where you tire. But always remember to travel with love and compassion in heart. Why...?
Because, when love and compassion are with you, the path and the journey becomes the theatre of infinite song and dance. When song and dance is with you, journeys are full of incessant joy and satisfaction. If you reach the stage; if ever there happens to be one, you will automatically lose the question of destination. The question of meaning of life and its purpose will be lost.
Love and compassion makes us understand the futility and redundance of the intellectual concerns of life’s larger purpose and the material desire of life’s acquisitions. Love and compassion makes us understand that the true wisdom is not in reaching but in travelling well – with peace and poise.
The simple and innocent realism is – There is no destination and reaching. There is only journey. Intelligence cannot accept this realism, only innocence can. Love and compassion and its accompanying Innocence Is The Greatest Intellectualism, it is the best acquisition, if one defines life’s purpose in terms of acquisition and possessions.
... Important however is – never look for and accept love as ‘bachelor’, in single status. Always insist on seeing and accepting with his wife, the Compassion. Love without Compassion is calamitous. Populist choice for passionate love among young men and women may install instant and gratifying joy but it surely dissipates soon. Populist cognitive confusion about love emanates out of this refusal to institute compassion to its rightful place in intimacies.
The universe has been created and has evolved in Couple-Causality. Love too has a beautifully magnificent partner of Compassion. The couple must remain together, forever...!
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...For Finality Of Fruition
It is not that people await good times, the good times also await good people to come and hoist the potential seeded in the soil of future. Good words also wish for good readers, to be in reception of and be in linearity of the innocent intent, which ride on the shoulders of the words, for the finality of their fruition...
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… On Navigation And Expression Of Intent
There has to be a humble admittance – Any word, however well meant and well spelt, is a possible suspect of misinterpretation. There is a simple reason. People are in different consciousnesses and culturally as well as personally inclined to a specific value-summation of utilities. As a writer, it is a huge temptation to take liberties, with not only imaginations but also with the words, as against their common and popular use. Do kindly accept my latitude with language and personal coinages of words, as I understand, many times, they may not conform to popular usages. I share with you whatever is part of my consciousness. All wisdoms say, what stays with you is what sinks in. Wisdom is what we internalize. I share with you whatever I have internalized in my life. This may not be mainstream stuff; but may have utility in some meaningful way. I believe, as a reader, you shall enjoy this novelty and pleasant awkwardness of the writing.
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Thanks For Your Magnanimity, The First Chapter Begins...