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The advice contained in this material might not be suitable for everyone.
The author only provides the material as a broad overview by a layperson
about an important subject. The author obtained the information from
sources believed to be reliable and from his own personal experience, but he neither implies nor intends any guarantee of accuracy.
All claims made for any product, treatment or other procedure that is
reported in this book is only the author's personal opinion. You must do you own careful checking with your own medical advisor and other reputable
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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock
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Contents
How Much Do You Need to Do? ......................................................................23
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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock
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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock
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About the Author – Mary Havelock
Mary Havelock has two young children.
She and her husband used to work for the same large corporation.
They planned that Mary should stay home when their son was born and they
could get along with just the one salary.
Then, their daughter arrived and they had greater pressure on their finances and lifestyle.
Mary and Keith have used motivation techniques through their working lives and found them very useful.
The meditation and other procedures that Mary explains in this book have
helped them and people they know to cope with the increasing pressures of
modern life.
Mary is not a trained teacher and the material she presents is from
experience, not formal training.
She said that they are both now happier and better focused, free of
unreasonable worries and enjoying every day more.
She hopes that this material will be equally helpful for you and your family.
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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock
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Part I: Meditation
Why Meditate?
When a friend suggested to me that I should try meditation, some negative
feelings came to the surface in my mind:
• I thought that it was associated with some religion that I knew little
about.
• I felt that I did not need it because I had regular sessions at the gym, and my small son and husband kept me very active when I wasn’t
rushing around at work.
• I just didn’t have any time for it!
Then, my friend told me some of the benefits which she had got from
meditation.
Like us, she and her partner worked long hours and had a busy social life.
But, she had been looking for some way to reduce the effects of stress on
her body and their relationship.
She said that meditation was:
9 Inexpensive
9 Suitable for almost everyone, whatever their physical condition
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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock
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9 Easy to fit into the busiest schedule (that was a real surprise to me!) 9 Something that I could start without a lot of preparation
9 Something which might produce some benefits in weeks rather than months or years.
9 Not tied to any belief system.
I am very grateful that my friend suggested that I try
meditation, although she was concerned that I might
start to think she was a bit weird.
My own experience has shown there are other benefits
to this as well.
Meditation can help to put you in better control of your
own emotions.
It can also help you to get more enjoyment from the
positive aspects of your life.
If you do it regularly, it will help you to reduce the effects of stress and other negative influences on your physical well-being.
Many people have reported that meditation helped them deal with the effects of serious illnesses.
Now, let’s go, together, through the simple steps needed to bring those
benefits into your life.
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The Core Benefits
While it will require some minor adjustments to set up even short meditation sessions in your current schedule, I believe that you will soon experience benefits that will show the effort is worthwhile.
One major improvement will be when you see how meditation can help you
to better control and influence your internal conversation.
This can give you more control over two major factors that negatively affect our level of happiness and even our health:
1) A negative self-image and
2) accepting high levels of stress as normal in our society.
Most of us have to deal with plenty of negative influences in our professional and personal lives. The next section will help you to overcome current and past negative conditioning.
Polishing Your Image
Many of us have been conditioned to believe that we should never expect to have a better life than we have now. We may have been taught from an
early age that whatever bad things happen, it’s our fault.
That’s why you might hear some of your friends say, “I’ve always been
hopeless at that!” Downplaying their abilities and potential in that way is not modesty, it’s just an excuse. Often, they could change their success rate in that activity with a little extra effort and self-confidence.
But, those comments almost ensure that they’ll never improve in that area
either.
That negativity can increase their internal stress and unhappiness which will affect everyone around them over time.
Even people that have achieved great material success, or were brought up
with access to every benefit that wealthy parents could give them,
sometimes make themselves and those around them unhappy because of
their negative self-image.
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You should see, over time, a distinct improvement in how you handle the
upsets and disappointments which are part of everyday life.
The degree of happiness in our lives is closely related to how we feel about ourselves.
Reduce Stress
We all have a fight-or-flight response which
developed among our earliest ancestors – those
that survived long enough to produce our
forefathers anyway!
In our urban environment, that response is often
triggered by relatively trivial hassles that we have.
It might be a reckless driver that cuts us off on our
way to work or our boss putting the blame on us
for something which was not our doing.
Many of us react strongly to the smallest triggers
and there are plenty of them. Our bodies and our mental health can be
affected over time by these constant calls on the fight/flight response.
You will probably see some improvement in how you handle small upsets
after only a short while, provided you are consistent.
Meditation is not the universal answer to every doubt and upset but it can help.
Connecting to Here and Now
Many people get the impression that meditation is intended to remove them
from the stressful situation that they are in to a “higher plane’ and a carefree existence.
But, meditation is actually a means of clearing obstructions from your
thinking and helping you to focus better on the positive aspects of your life so that you are better able to handle the stresses and disappointments which we all have.
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When you use the exercises and suggestions that I provide in this book for a while, you should find that you see your life and relationships in a more
positive way.
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“Meditation, Motivation and More” by Mary Havelock
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Where and How to Meditate
The meditation exercises that I explain in this book are
simple and short. I am not a professional teacher – I am
just sharing what I feel have been the most beneficial
for me and people that I know.
They are what I, along with family and friends, use
because they fit in with our varied, busy lives.
I recommend that you discuss meditation with your
doctor before you do any of the exercises here. It is just common-sense.
Your doctor will be able to advise you because they will be aware of your
general health and medical history. Never take chances with your health.
You won’t need any special clothing or equipment. You may want to try them first when you have some space and privacy.
The only other requirement is that you should choose the exercises which
you can expect to complete without interruption.
After you have gained a little insight and confidence, you will be doing some of them during your lunch hour, while watching your partner’s favorite
television show or while listening to someone present a report!
Some teachers suggest that some of the very simple exercises can be used
to help keep stress down while you are waiting for a traffic light to change, but I don’t recommend that.
I think that driving in many areas requires our full, undivided attention. Many accidents are caused by unexpected circumstances.
I believe that regular meditation will improve your ability to cope with the stress and effort required to drive safely.
And, if you are driving a reasonable distance, a short stop, a little exercise and a few minutes meditation would definitely help you to get to your
destination in better shape.
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How to Meditate
The first couple of times you do an exercise, I suggest that you sit in a
comfortable chair with a firm back and seat. Make sure that your feet are flat on the floor and that your knees are bent at right angles.
Do not cross your legs as this can interfere with blood circulation and, over time, may lead to serious problems.
Keep your arms loose, either hanging down or resting lightly on your knees.
Don’t cross them over your chest because you want your breathing to be
regular and unrestricted.
I don’t recommend that you do any meditation while lying down unless you
have to for medical reasons. This makes it harder for you to complete your exercise without drifting off to sleep.
This will probably reduce the benefits of the meditation, unless your goal was to use it to help you sleep better.
Don’t over-do your meditation. I seem to get the best results from
consistency rather than making the sessions longer.
Keep your sessions short and focused. This helps to keep you connected with your current surroundings so that you can answer the phone or soothe a
crying child.
Hit the Habit, not Yourself
If you want to use meditation to help break a bad habit, it’s important to focus on positive aspects.
I know people that have, for instance, tried to re-enforce their efforts to diet within their meditation sessions. But, what seems to happen is that by filling their mind with negative thoughts and images of flab, decayed teeth etc,
they downgrade their own self-image. It’s like they start blaming themselves for being weak and unable to reduce their eating or giving up sugary snacks.
I’m sure that they could get better results if they focused on the benefits of feeling h