Standing In My Own Shadow by Barry Daniels - HTML preview

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About CAP 78/2:

Déjà vu, Biggin Hill, 1978 edition.  Assessment was by way of a residential role-play exercise over three days. I arrived at the Centre in my brand new Ford Thunderbird, a mid-life present from myself. I followed the arrows from the parking lot to a large classroom where I took a desk and waited for the arrival of the other candidates. Only half of us would make it onto the program.  Thirty minutes later I left the room as ‘Simon’, a newly appointed director of a fictitious agency. Over the next three days I had meetings with my Division Chiefs, with Financial staff, with a local TV reporter looking for a juicy scandal, and with a disgruntled secretary claiming sexual harassment. All of these roles were played by local actors. I was asked to draw up a budget and half an hour later I was told to make a 20% cut, I was called to an urgent meeting with my Director General and on the way I was told to go to the classroom immediately for tests. (I ignored the latter and met with my ‘DG’.)  All these activities were observed by a number of top level executives (real life EX03 and EX04)  who took copious notes.  At the end of three days I was no longer sure who I was or where I should go next.

A week later I reported for feedback.  I was told that the observers had major reservations over my high level of aggressiveness, but that I had been accepted for a place on the next CAP residential program.  Aggressiveness?  Me?  Never.  Must be the Northern Barbarian accent.

The three month residential program was almost a total waste of time; I could have accomplished as much by taking appropriate literature to a quiet place for a week and a half.  Other students took the course as something that had to be done to make it to the executive level, but not something of any practical value.  There was much drinking and much drunkenness at the heavily subsidised bar.

For me the only thing of true and lasting value in the CAP program came from Gerry, a fellow student and RCMP officer who had missed the first day of the course to run the Ottawa marathon. I told Gerry that I’d always wanted to be a runner, but wasn’t cut out for it.  He sent me to get my running shoes and took me on a five kilometre jog. I had been doing almost everything wrong. Gerry taught me how to set my pace, control my breathing, adjust for uphill and downhill stretches, all I needed to know.  By the end of the course I could run 10k in comfort and longer distances if given a chance to prepare. After CAP ended I would run 5 km each day and longer runs at weekends. From that time onwards I have rarely gone a week without two or three good runs and still try to get in a 5 km jog three times a week.

When I returned to work I met at once with Henry to ask about the Assignment phase of CAP, but he told me that I was not going to continue with the program.  His friend and comrade at arms, who had joined the Civil Service with Henry, was taking an early retirement for family reasons, and I was going to replace him as the Director of the On-site Plants Branch.  This was an EX01 position and included a seat on the board of directors of the Government Printing Bureau, Chaired by the Director General and Queen’s Printer.  I had to try hard not to laugh because, pleased as I was with the appointment, the thought which came first to mind was ‘the three hundred Addressograph machines; they’re all mine!’.