One Good Turn Deserves Another - Heinsian Downhill Skiing by Gary Heins - HTML preview

that's teamwork in the great scheme of things. To not develop and

use your talents, to sell yourself short---that's the biggest sin. You

see, we are all in this world together, . . . and there is only one

team---we might as well have all the players playing their best po-

sition rather than having them jumping through hoops or working

over-time at Wal-Mart. This book isn't just about learning to ski;

it's about one man trading in his tears for some turns; it's about

doing what you do best, doing it massively, and making sure it

creates tremendous value for other people. You can contribute best

to the whole when you keep your strength and spirit up as an Indi-

vidual. Commit to your own destiny the same way you would

commit to your own ski turns; and, even while we're not skiing,

let's Spread the Good Turns. Hopefully, when we finally ski down

the back-side of the mountain, it will be because we want to, not

because we have to.

(I ended it there in the very early 1990s. But things have gotten

much worse since then: the corporations and financial institutions

and greedy real-estate agents and big government have taken so

much from the people there's just about nothing left to take any-

more---except they would love to continue having you as their

slaves, with zoning laws and fifty-year mortgages you don't need,

not to mention ridiculous gasoline prices for those who are forced

to live way out where the "affordable land" is. And now even the

slave jobs are in jeopardy. It's high time someone stands up in

every walk of life to make the powers-that-be fess up. Gary Heins

just happens to be the guy who's doing it in the ski-school business,

as U.S. Ski-Turner General. The sickness we are facing in this

country is not just at the top, it has crept into just about in every

corner of our existence, as too many individuals fall for the over-

spending, trying to keep up with the Joneses, and end up knuck-

ling-down and acquiescing "just to get along." There are very few

like me who have nothing to lose by doing the right thing---the

average American worker is so worried about making his house

Epilogue: Why U.S. SKI-TURNER GENERAL --- 271

and car payments, he doesn't dare tell his higher-ups what he really

thinks of them and how they're running things,---but it is going to

take us few brave ones to start new leadership and turning things

around so that the in-debt sheep can get brave enough to see we are

right and quit following the wrong program. I've never really sub-

scribed to that old cliché "It's not what you know, it's who you

know": the only way the Human Race is going to survive in the

future is if we replace that old cliché with "It's not who you know,

it's what you know," otherwise we are no wiser than the rest of the

animal kingdom---and I believe even God and Jesus Christ would

agree with that, because I asked 'em. I don't care if you've got King

David's or Jesus Christ's or some Ordained Ski Instructor's blood-

line in you or not, it's time to quit acting so childish. ---Like Gary

says, "If I'm wrong, may God strike my ski poles with lightning---

you know the only way they'll ever get me to let go of my ski poles,

my keyboard, my guns, my mountain-bike handle-bars, and my

school-bus's steering wheel and door handle . . . is from my cold

dead fingers." ---Well, he might let go of his school bus, now that

he's written a book on the subject to help millions of other drivers,

kids, and parents---he's plenty busy now following through dealing

with the ski business.

(Maybe, after all this complaining, it all boils down to one

thing: OverPopulation---but, even if it's the truth, that's not a

popular idea with most people. And maybe it all boils down to

Survival of the Fittest: the crooks that are currently in control are

manipulating everything in their favor because the can, and be-

cause they know how---only they're doing it no different than the

most savage animals, and they don't even know it. As Gary says,

"The Human Race is the only species dumb enough to think it's

smarter than everything else." ---Well, Gary Heins is coming out

with all his best ski books right about now also, in part as a U.S.

SKI TEACHER, in part as U.S. SKI-TURNER GENERAL . . . be-

cause he can, and because he knows how, and because he doesn't

have a choice anymore. When this manual One Good Turn Deserves

Another---Heinsian DOWNHILL SKIING finally gets some long-

overdue promotion and marketing, the Heinsian DOWNHILL SKI-

ING Schedule, outlining slope, snow, and task, from beginner to

expert, will become the yardstick they measure most ski lessons by-

--out on the mountain . . . and in court. The Powers-That-Ski could

have respected his talents and expertise the easy way way back in

1984, giving credit where credit is due all through the '90s and be-

yond, but they still haven't by 2010, so we'll require respect from

272 --- Heinsian DOWNHILL SKIING

them the hard way, competing in the marketplace . . . and in court.

Millions of skiers . . . and shunned good instructor candidates . . .

will thank him for spilling the beans about the thousands of ski-

bums masquerading as ski instructors, barely "certified" by the

Powers-That-Ski. It's a bit like what Lee Marvin says in Monte

Walsh: "As long as there's one cowboy taking care of one cow, it

ain't dead!" ---As long as there's one ski student needing ski les-

sons, Gary Heins should be the last ski instructor out of work. . . .

The U.S. SKI-TURNER GENERAL is coming! . . . and Hell's coming

with him! at least for the Powers-That-Ski and the Ski Bums they

"certify." Do you hear me?! Hell's coming with him!)

I'm Jane Dantz

---sitting in for Gary Heins

(PS--- Heaven's coming for everyone else who are the discerning

students.)

Epilogue: Why U.S. SKI-TURNER GENERAL --- 273

Let's finish with a song:

First Of the

Silver-Screen Ski-boys

(A parody of a Rex Allen Jr classic)

The First of the Silver-Screen Ski-boys,

the First of a Fast-Risin' Breed,

For cattle agrazin', with ski-puns ablazin'!

---God knows, this is what America now needs.

The First of the Silver-Screen Ski-boys,

teachin' tall for All Skiers Left and Right---

Don't push Him around, 'cause more than PSIA's found

that He don't back down from a fight.

Thinkers! and Watchers! We love You!

and, Doers! We'll save most Your lives!

for We care-about All Your Futures

---He's gone through Your Lessons many-times;

The Winners of The Race . . . were Our Heroes

---but We know Good Will Win in the end---

If You'll only-just turn through His Pages, (read Hsn DHS)

and Read His Old Trails once again. . . .

The First of the Silver-Screen Ski-boys,

He settles the score . . . with His Wit;

Ah, He ain't made any Babies, ain't dated many Ladies

---it's mostly the snows (?) that He's kissed.

Before the time slips away 'fore we know it,

You Little Shredders,

put up Your SnowBoards . . . for some Skis---

Your memories won't die, and You'll-be still ridin' high!

---He's the First of the Silver-Screen . . . Ski-boys.

274 --- Heinsian DOWNHILL SKIING

Heinsian DHS Check-list & Schedule --- 275

Heinsian DHS Check-List

This list doesn't have to be a chore: Whether from home, camper, or a ski

locker, keep your ski jacket, vest, and powder pants on a beefy hanger, with the

pockets stocked; keep the cut-offs, knee-pads, radio harness, hat-n-goggles, and

gloves in a gear bag, but have hooks ready for wet stuff. The Back-Country stuff

can stay with the Day-Pack---all you add is fresh water, lunch, and radio. This is

the best system for Getting Ready, & Unready, routinely quick-n-easy---and Tak-

ing Inventory is easy.

In-Bounds Skiing----

Inner Core---

long underwear or shorts, knee-pads

turtleneck or silk scarf

wool socks

Mid Layer---

khaki cut-offs n belt, wi pockets n multi-tool

regular shirt, radio harness: Hsn DHS Check-List & Schedule

pen n note-pad, maps

lighter n candle, knife

scraper n whetstone n wax

ski boots---winter boots when not skiing

Outer Shell---

zipper-legged powder pants, insulated or not

ski jacket wi optnl vest

sunglasses, sunscreen, lip-balm

handkerchief, toiletries, candy bar

lighters, knife, pun-reliever

hat-n-goggles, gloves---optnl silk heady, glove liners

skis n poles

Back-Country Day-Trip Essentials----

free-heel adapter, climbing skins

Transceiver Device arnd neck

Day-Pack n Shovel---

survival extras:

space blanket, extra lighter

cordage, duct-tape, bandanas n safety-pins,

elastic bandage, gauze-n-tape, small bandages

tin-cup fr melting snow

Water, Lunch, & Extra MRE

Logical Logistics

Inform friends---communication

Park, hike up, have lunch, ski down

Avalanche Safety

awareness n avoidance, rescue plan

First-Aid & Survival Plan

sprains, broken bones, bleeding

frost-bite, hypothermia

transport . . . or fire insurance

#

276 --- Heinsian DOWNHILL SKIING

Heinsian DOWNHILL SKIING Schedule

What you have in my ski-learning schedule are three main variables to moni-

tor or manipulate: slope, snow, and task---these are what primarily comprise a

student's comfort zone. With basically one slope and one snow, the beginner has

twelve tasks to master---half of these are turns of some sort, half are exercises; then,

the intermediate, with two main slopes and a couple more common snow condi-

tions, has twelve more tasks to work on; then, with at least three slopes and more

different snows, the advanced skier has twenty-four more tasks. This Heinsian

Chart has everything to do with comfort-zone, suggesting what-to-do, when-to, and

where, rather than getting bogged down in a big debate about how, especially when

a student may not be ready for a particular how. So there are three main variables:

to stay in your comfort zone; with this approach, ideally only one of the three is ever

slightly new and different. A good many of the turns on this chart are one-good-

turn-at-a-time; and then turn-linkage comes easy.

The mistake too many ski instructors make is this: they have two or three of

these variables new and different---that's way too much difficulty for the student to

learn at one time. Sometimes, if you accidentally make two variables new-n-differ-

ent, you can make up for it by making the third variable double-easy---but certainly

you don't want all three variables to be new at the same time. When you hear an

expert skier talk about "taking the student out of their comfort zone," that alone

implies too much too soon, that the instructor doesn't quite know what he's doing

to the student. Too many instructors take students who aren't ready . . . to ad-

vanced terrain with powder snow and then expound on complicated technique: just

because you explain advanced extension-retraction turns exactly right . . . does not

mean the student will be able to do it or even try it on that new slope in that new

snow. The common misconception is that only the slope decides the difficulties; no,

you can tinker with different snow conditions and tougher tasks first that can

simulate going higher on the mountain. There is plenty to do the easiest way possi-

ble: an intermediate has plenty of homework back down on the bunny-hill, and an

advanced student has plenty to learn on the bunny-hill as well as on intermediate

terrain---you don't necessarily need tougher terrain or tougher snow to make the

tasks tougher.

Expert skiers can do everything on the list fluently, and then some, like rou-

tinely skiing expert double-black-diamond terrain and enjoying fierce wind-pack.

They then may have in inclination to pass the ease of skiing on to others, but that

takes a whole new bunch of learning, starting all over from the beginning.

This ski-learning schedule may not be perfect, but it is so thorough, so precise,

that it is the best document, the best yard-stick, by which to measure the quality of a

ski lesson---in court, it can help prosecute and convict the ski-bum who has no

business teaching, or it can defend and exonerate the best instructors who give

great lessons. All you have to do is pinpoint the scenario on the chart---the slope,

the snow, and the task being taught,---and, if the student hadn't performed most of

the preceding tasks on the list, the instructor is most-likely "GUILTY!" (Slam-ming my ski pole like a gavel, I conclude: "Sentencing will be at 12noon tomorrow.

Court is adjourned.")

---GARY HEINS ---U.S. SKI-TURNER GENERAL

Heinsian DHS Check-list & Schedule --- 277

Sno

Beg

Int

Adv

Exp

H

orientation: boots, bindings, poles, skis

H

one-ski, working bindings

H

safety sit, getting-up

H

side-step, V-turn, herringbone

H

straight-run/traverse, angle steps

H

A-turn, straight wedge, wedge stop, wedge change-ups

H

first lift-ride, gradual wedge turns, possible side-step down

H

big thorough C-shaped wedge turns

H

traverse, side-slipping, wedge christies

H

spontaneous christies . . . wi stop, J-turn stop

H

up-stem christies . . . wi poles

H

faster gliding, slow skating, possible carving intro via ski design

intermediate ski-n-boot repeat*

Sno

Beg

Int

Adv

Exp

H

up-stem turns wi pole-swings, traversing-n-slipping

H

forward side-slip, edge-sets . . . wi pole-plants

H

christy down-stems

H

J-turn stop . . . wi pole-plant

HI

parallel turns long

HIP

train-track carve---ski design

HI

angle-steps, short skating

HI

parallel-step turns medium, short

HIP

parallel turns long-but-carved

HIPCB

traverse, kick turn, possible side-step down-or-up

HI CB

stem turns

H PC

knee-out-in up-stem slide,

advanced ski-n-boot repeat*

Sno

Beg

Int

Adv

Exp

H CB

stem turns medium, traverse-slips

H