The Greatest Ski Instructor in the West by Gary Heins - HTML preview

Epilogue -- 141

142 --

-- 143

GARY HEINS

circa 1990

at the HeinsQuarters of the

SWINGIN' G RANCH

144 --

Hear what others might have said about

THE GREATEST SKI INSTRUCTOR

IN THE WEST

By GARY HEINS

"Huh! Skiin's sure come a long way since my time. Just the same, ya might wanna keep your powder dry."

--James Arness,

How the West Was Wun

"Hmmm, what an interesting concept Heins has come up with--maybe I can be the greatest garderner in the yeast, or something."

--Martha Stewart

"If this Heins is so great, how come we've never seen him in any skiin'-flicks or turno-flicks?"

--Anonymous

"Heins's Greatest Ski Instructor is amazing: it's got a little bit of Ben-Hur, a little bit of Wizard of Oz, a little bit of The Three Little Pigs, a little George Clason, a lot of Gibran, that Og Mandino tone, western-ranch life, and it's the Greatest Story Ever Told rewritten, finally really putting to use some of that New Age Philosophy instead of just redundantly talking about it--what a great work of art!"

--Unanimous

"Has anybody here . . . seen my old friend Angus? Can you tell me where he's gone? He skied with a lot of people--you know the good, it seems they die young. Must be with Abraham, Martin, and John."

--Dion

"Heins--is he the guy who wrote that other movie? you know, Turns of Endearment."

--Debra Winger

-- 145

"This ski-boy Heins--I wonder: is he of noble descent?"

--Princess Diana

"Man, I wish I'da had a manager like Heins is a ski teacher before I found myself in prison. Nowadays a guy's gotta watch out where he plants his pole."

--Mike Tyson

"Where does Heins come up with that? A Savvy Ski-boy's Seven Silky Sayin's for Skillful Skiin'? --is he stealing my stuff?"

--Ski-poke Chopra

"The Heinsian character Angus Old Silver-Tip, The Greatest Ski Instructor In the West, teaches today's people a great pre-cept: 'if you are not part of the problem, then you are part of the solution.'"

--Eldridge Cleaver

"And Heins leaves something good behind, this steep brain-child of his--it makes my life worth skiing; and, when all his earthly days are through, he'll leave here knowing he did what he came to do; and, when he says goodbye, he'll know that he leaves something good behind.'

--Barbara Mandrell

"When I'm writin', I'm right."

--Gary Heins

"Heins's Greatest Ski Instructor is uncannily like The Greatest Story Ever Told, but with just the right amount of razzle-daz-zle, not too much. He's writing for his time, just like other writers I know."

--JC

146 --

Watch for SWINGIN' G BOOKS n videos by GARY HEINS:

HAVE HARMONY WITH WOMEN

--Heinsian WESTERN SWING

ONE GOOD TURN DESERVES ANOTHER

--Heinsian DOWNHILL SKIING

SIT DEEP IN THE SADDLE

--Heinsian WESTERN RIDING

poetry and song:

RIMES OF AN ANCIENT SKI TEACHER"

--Heinsian SKI-BOY POETRY

MIXIN' MISERY & SKIIN'

--Heinsian SKIBOY-n-WESTERN MUSIC

friction:

THE GREATEST SKI INSTRUCTOR

IN THE WEST

THE PROHIBITION

OF SNOW-BOARDING

By GH--USST

-- 147

some bonus books:

THE GREATEST SC

S HOO

O L

O -BUS

S

DRIVER EVER

ESCAPE ON TWO WHEELS

--Heinsian BIKE-PACKING

And watch for these columns:

RIDING WITH HEINS-SIGHT

(TWELVE READS)

SKIING WITH HEINS-SIGHT

(FIFTEEN UPRIGHT COLUMNS)

GOLFING WITH HEINS-SIGHT

(--NINE WHOLE COLUMNS)

"BUTT-FIRST" WRITING

--THE HEINSIAN WAY

(TWELVE INSTILLMENTS)

148 --

Website:

www.wrangler-skier.com

Weblog:

HeinsianSKIING.com

E-mail:

GARYHEINS@Gmail.com

To bring a GARY HEINS DOWNHILL SKIING lecture to your area, . . . or to find out his other services, call the HeinsQuarters of the:

SWINGIN' G WINTER RANGE

PO Box 784

Saint Johns, Arizona 85936

(928) 205-7756

Thanks.

www.wrangler-skier.com

#######