Breaking the News
So I was suited up with the Word and ready to break the news to friends and family. Patrick and I had been speaking a lot about the steps involved in doing this spiritually. It had to be methodical, systematic and well thought out; I was deeply entwined in people’s lives, especially the teens. I had to transition out of the teen ministry without hurting anyone’s faith. I remember it like it was yesterday; after a teen class we told them I was moving and the girls started to just cry, it was so hard to watch but this had to be done. It was pretty heart breaking, but again, this is why it was so important to have built this move around God and his word. Imagine if it was built around Patrick—the teens crying would have meant I was leaving them just because of my boyfriend. I would have been blaming Patrick for all of it, and as soon as something went wrong it would have been his fault.
Let’s get back to step number four, the hardest step for me. I decided to tell my mom over dinner at this really great Italian restaurant. We ate, and the next thing you know, I was pulling out the Bible onto the restaurant table. I focused on verse 27 of Hebrews 11 about faith in action: “By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible.”
My mom was the king, Egypt was New York and I was Moses. Moses left Egypt not fearing the king’s anger because he saw God who is invisible. He persevered because he recognized God who was indeed involved with his move. This verse related to everything I was going through with my mom. I was not the first person who had to leave a country and journey to one they didn’t even see. With that, I told my mom that I was stepping out on faith. With the utmost conviction I spoke up respectfully, woman to woman, and told her that it had already been decided no matter if she was angry or not. She strongly felt that it wasn’t a wise decision to move without having a job. To anybody else, it wouldn’t be right and really wasn’t too smart, but I had God and lived by faith not by sight. The Bible says without faith it is impossible to please him. “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see” (Hebrews 11:1). I had a lot to hope for, and I was sure I couldn’t see (lol!). Nothing before me was guaranteed, and I think that struck fear in my mother. I can understand why a mother would be concerned. I struggled over her concern but I couldn’t let it dictate my actions. God had already made it clear to me that I needed to move without a job. I love my mom so much; we are truthfully best friends; we have been through thick and thin and I was confident that her concerns were there because she wanted the best for me. What I had to do was make God bigger than my mother. As a daughter I wanted my mother’s approval, but what about God’s approval? I already had that, and that was more important than anyone else’s opinion.
Because I did not waiver in my decision and faced my mother, I am blessed to say that although she still felt it wasn’t wise to move without a job, I knew that she would support me. She did just that and more. A couple of days after we talked over dinner, she was helping me pack my things. Amen!
Next I told my dad. He was easier to tell but was really sad. He was going to miss the little things like hearing my feet run down the steps. My dad always took care of me and fed me a little too much. I’m surprised I am not overweight, as there is never a shortage of food at my parents’ place.