CHAPTER V
DAY 4
THE SHINING CROSS AND THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH
Saturday, July 30th, 2011. At 10:00 pm.
1. THE SHINING CROSS
The Lord took me to a green pasture again today.
I have always loved being in a green pasture or in a lovely garden. Jesus knew well my favorite places.
Tremendous amounts of joy filled my heart. My spirit rejoices whenever I’m with Jesus.
"I love you My Lord," I hugged Him.
Jesus rubbed my head; He looked at me and smiled.
The Lord held my hands. He tightened His grip, and next thing I knew, I was being spun around!
I screamed and I laughed when He spun me around and around. I felt the wind blowing in my face. Oh it was so much fun! Like a little kid I was being spun around by the Lord.
Jesus laughed too. He enjoyed this moment very much. He didn’t take His eyes off me, not for one second. He was having fun and just as excited as I was!
I started to dance after He let go of my hands. The joy was uncontainable. I could not help but dance. My body moved by itself creating a beautiful dance for my Savior.
A song crossed my mind. Strange how it came to my mind at that very moment. It was a song from childhood. I haven’t sang it for a while but I still remembered the lyrics.
I started singing it before the Lord.
"Jesus… You're the sweetest name of all
Jesus… You always hear me when I call
Oh Jesus, You lift me up each time I fall
You're the sweetest, the sweetest name of all…
Jesus… how I love to praise Your name
Jesus… You're still the first, the last, the same
Oh Jesus, You died and took away my shame
You're the sweetest, the sweetest name of all...
Jesus… You're the soon and coming King
Jesus… You give the love that You can bring
Oh Jesus, we lift our voices up and sing
You're the sweetest, the sweetest name of all… “
Still fresh in my mind how I usually sang this song after being brutally abused by my mother.
I usually sang it while my whole body still shaking in pain. The song would always comfort me. It soothed me, made me not feel scared or sad anymore.
Jesus embraced me and kissed both my cheeks.
"Be not sad anymore, My daughter,” He said, “for I am your father and I am your mother.”
He embraced me once again. “I love you. Do not worry about anything.”
Tears fell from my eyes. I felt His great love upon me when my parents could not love me. There were countless times my own biological mother tried to kill me while my father just sat there watching. It is a miracle I’m still alive today.
"I love you too, my Lord Jesus. You are everything to me."
Jesus smiled and rubbed my head again.
Then He took three steps forward. His eyes looked straight ahead. It seemed He was staring at something. I followed His gaze and spotted nothing but stretches of grass as far as the eye could see.
But after a few seconds, a beam of light appeared.
It was colorful and sparkling, but not too bright. The light had the colors of a rainbow, similar to the one I saw in my room when the presence of the Lord came. Soft and pretty in colors.
The colorful light moved slowly in a circle. It continued to get brighter and the circle grew larger and larger.
A few seconds later, this circle of light became so bright and blinding.
I squinted against the bright light.
Then I saw something.
A magnificent cross appeared from the light. A shining white cross. The cross grew bigger and bigger until it reached about 30 feet high.
The giant cross sparkled and glittered as if the entire surface was covered with thousands of sparkling diamonds. It was absolutely stunning.
After some time, both light and cross became even more dazzling. I closed my eyes as the glare was unbearable. But the light still flashed and hurt my eyes even though they had been closed; I had to cover my eyes with my hands.
I fell on my knees. A sudden weakness hit my legs. I knelt on the ground with my hands still covering my eyes. I could not move for about a minute.
“My daughter… “
The Lord touched my shoulder. I opened my eyes. Both light and cross had disappeared without a trace.
Jesus helped me to stand.
"My daughter,” He said, “do you know why I willingly went to the cross?"
His loving eyes gazed in my eyes.
He spoke again, "Many people deride My death,” He said, with a glimpse of sadness in His eyes. “They do not understand why I willingly suffered and why I allowed Myself to die on a cross. So they doubt Me. They do not believe in Me. They doubt My work and they doubt My Father.” Tears welled up in His eyes.
He looked straight ahead, to where the shining cross was.
"Do you know why I willingly went to the cross?"
Jesus asked the same question.
I had an answer in my mind, but strange, I could not open my mouth. I felt like I was going to cry instead.
"My daughter,” Jesus looked me in the eye, “I willingly suffered and died, so I can hold you like this."
He gave me a big hug. And rubbed my back lovingly.
Tears streaming down my cheeks. I was deeply moved.
“I was willing to be crucified, so that I can be close to My children. They could not come to Me if I did not sacrifice Myself for them. You and My other children are very precious to Me. I sacrificed everything to redeem what belonged to Me from the beginning."
His love truly was immeasurable! Our precious Redeemer willingly suffered and died on our behalf, so we can draw close to Him and be His children – and be saved from eternal destruction.
“I long to embrace My children, those who are not yet willing to come to Me at the moment. I have called out their names one by one but they still refuse to draw near. But I say unto you, one day they will come to Me. And when they do, I will welcome them like a father who has long been yearning for the return of his son. Embrace and kisses shall I give, affection and blessings shall I bestow, for I will be rejoicing for their return. Forever I will love them and they will love Me. I say to you, everlasting joy shall be rewarded to them.”
Jesus’ face lit up when He said that.
He then took my hand and brought me to another place in the blink of an eye.
2. THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH
I found myself in a pitch black place.
Not a thing could I see here. I had no idea where I was. Darkness everywhere; not a speck of light was showing.
"Where are we, my Lord?" I whispered. The darkness made me tense. I held the Lord’s hand tight.
"Be not afraid,” His voice was heard, echoing in the darkness. “Nothing can harm you for I am with you.”
His words soothed me right away.
"My daughter, look around you."
Jesus glowed right after He said that. He emitted a soft white light from head to toe. The place became a little brighter.
I could now see where I was. I was in a cave, a tremendously huge cave.
The cave was so long, I could not see the end of it. Vaguely I saw that it was probably more than 250 meters wide and a hundred meters high.
The glow of Jesus wasn’t very bright but it was soft, just enough to illuminate what was around me. The light could not reach very far.
Suddenly I realized that this cave was all walls without an entryway at all. How would anyone get in? I could get in because Jesus brought me here in the blink of an eye. But I didn’t know how He did it. There was no entryway in this cave.
Before I could ask Jesus about it, He took my hand and led me to a footpath that was just a few meters away.
I looked down the pathway and saw it was really narrow. Only about a meter in width. The path was lily-white.
"Come, My daughter.” Jesus asked me to walk on the path with Him.
I started walking on the path. Jesus walked by my side. We had to be really close to each other since the footpath was very narrow. It could only fit two people walking side by side.
The path was heading downhill.
Slowly we continued going downhill.
I saw an enormous valley ahead; which was still inside this gigantic cave.
Then I heard something.
I heard human voices. Men and women’s voices. Many of them. Some were crying, some were grumbling, cursing and swearing. Some were even screaming hysterically.
These voices were loud and echoing everywhere. There seemed to be a lot of people in the valley.
We walked again until we reach the valley. Just as I thought, there were a lot of people in the valley. I saw people everywhere. Thousands and thousands of men and women crowding the place.
Most of them were lying on the ground. These people kept crying, grumbling, fuming or cursing. Some were slapping their own face over and over again. As if they were blaming themselves for something they did or that had happened.
One man who was lying on the ground raised his fist in the air. "I hate You!” He shouted loud. “You are a heartless God! I curse You for all Your ruthless cruelties!”
He was cursing and cursing. I wondered why he was so angry with God.
The valley filled with enraged people like him. But there were also many that looked sorrowful. These people just lay there in silence, and barely moved at all. They looked weak and helpless.
Angry shouts and cries echoed throughout the valley. Although it was dark and impossible to view the entire valley, I knew every inch of it was filled with people. Angry and frustrated people. They were everywhere along this huge valley till the end of it. Most were lying on the cold ground.
Only a few weren’t lying. I saw them walking around aimlessly in a daze. Looking lost and confused, as if they didn’t know where to go. They groped around like a blind person groping in the darkness.
It appeared all these men and women could not see me. Neither could they see Jesus. Or the light He emitted. They were in complete darkness. This place was still pitch-black to them. No wonder they looked lost and dazed.
Anyone could get lost in this darkness. Without a speck of light showing, it was impossible to see a thing here. I would get lost too if Jesus didn’t radiate light.
An atmosphere of despair felt so intense. Non-stop laments and cries were heard from all directions. This was like a valley of despair!
"What is this place, my Lord?" I asked. The question had been lingering in my mind.
"My daughter, this place is called the Valley of the shadow of death."
I remembered Psalm 23 straight away, when king David had mentioned it.
"It is a place where My people’s faith is tested. I will know if their hearts truly love Me or they don’t at all. It will show when one walks through this valley. If one does not sincerely love Me, then he does not love Me at all.
“The valley of the shadow of death is when they encounter a great difficulty in life. However, as you can see here, many people cannot bear the suffering.
“Many people become too weak to continue their spiritual journey after being in the Valley. It is because they let anger and disappointments draining their spiritual strength. This is why many are just lying on the ground. They are not able to stand up nor walk because they have no strength to do so.
“They lose strength because they refuse to put their trust in Me. They refuse to be the doer of the Word and only do what they wish to do. They let disappointments choke their faith.”
"How would they leave this place?” I asked. “How would they find their way out in the dark?”
Then I remembered the valley located inside a closed giant cave. It might not even have an exit.
“Is there a way out of here, my Lord?”
"My daughter, the Valley of the shadow of death has a way out. It is a place to see how pure My people’s hearts are and how genuine their faith is. It is not a trap to imprison or to destroy. Faith is tested so it can be purified and strengthened.”
Jesus pointed to the path where we were standing. "Look at this path I have provided. I placed this footpath in the valley so people can walk on it. Anyone who walks on this path will not get lost nor lose their way. However they will get lost in this vast valley if they step out of the path.
"There is only one footpath in this valley. This narrow footpath.” The Lord pointed to the path again. Its white color looked striking.
I looked around and found no other path but this.
“This path shall guide you out of here safely. You are safe if you keep walking on it as it leads to the way out. It will guide you to victory.”
The Lord put His hand on my shoulder and said, “Look at the entire valley.”
And right at that moment, the valley became bright. I didn’t know where the light came from. It became bright, just like that.
I could now see the entire place clearly. It looked like a giant crater. But the cavity wasn’t too deep.
Cave ceiling were so high above my head. This valley was located in a huge cave, with black walls.
Thousands and thousands of people crowded the place, people who wouldn’t stop complaining, weeping, and cursing. I think they were just wasting their energy. They should had used that energy to find a way out instead.
The valley was still dark to them. Jesus brightened the entire place so I could see every detail clearly and be able to tell it in my book. But these people were still in complete darkness.
I mentioned earlier that there were people there that looked like they were dying. These people just laid there on the ground, and barely moved. When the place became bright, I was able to see there were wounds, like ulcers, all over their bodies.
The Exit
Something caught my eye.
Far ahead, on the cave wall on the other end, there was a hole in the center of it. I didn’t see it before as it was too dark to see anything in the distance.
The hole was around 2 meters high and 2 meters wide. It was shaped quite neat as if someone made it intentionally using tools.
"Is that the way out?”
"Yes, My daughter,” the Lord answered, "it is not difficult to leave the valley since the way out always open. But one must keep walking on this path to be able to find it.”
I looked down, my eyes going down the narrow pathway. It was a long path, and in some places a little meandering. But as Jesus said, the path indeed led to the exit - even though it was far ahead. Anyone could leave this place safely if they kept walking on this path.
God is the Lamp That Lightens Our Darkness
"For Thou
art my lamp, O Lord: and the Lord will lighten my darkness.”
(2 Samuel 22:29 - KJV)
"Unfortunately many people cannot find the way out, “the Lord said. “This place is very dark. No one can find the path without Me."
The valley was indeed very dark. It was Jesus who led me to the path. And the light He emitted illuminated my every step. Without Him, I would never have found this narrow path.
"Lord, aren’t all these people Christians? Why don’t they have You by their side?”
"Because they distrust and desert Me when trouble comes.”
He was very sad. I could see sorrow in His eyes.
"If only they could see their victory awaits them in the Valley.”
He looked at the crowd and didn’t say another word.
Crisis, Tragedy, Sorrows = The Valley of the Shadow of Death
“Come, My daughter. Let’s see these people more closely.”
We stepped off the path and walked to the crowd.
Financial Crisis
As we walked through the crowd, I noticed a middle aged man sitting on the ground. He was angry at something as he was punching the rocky ground in a raging fury.
The man stood up when he saw me. I was surprised he could see me; The Lord must have let him do so.
"You know," he yelled, "I have followed Jesus for many years, but my business collapsed last year. I have no assets left and no money now. So it makes me wonder, why isn’t God helping me? How could He let me live like this?"
He stomped his feet and pouted like a two year old. Then he grabbed a handful of small stones from around his feet, and threw them back on the ground.
"Why God hasn’t restored everything I lost? I’m so disappointed! I’m so mad! I’m so mad at Him!”
He kept repeating the last line and stomped his feet again. This middle-aged man acted like a sulky child who didn’t get his way.
Tragedy
We left the man, and as we walked again through the crowd, I noticed a man pacing back and forth in a daze with his head down. I looked at him more closely. He was also a middle-aged, but this one looked mournful.
The man saw me. "My heart is deeply grieved,” he said, with tears in his eyes. “My only child, my son was killed in a car accident.” He looked me in the eye. “How could God do this to me? What did I do to deserve this? The Bible says God promises joy and peace, but He took away my joy and peace when He took my son away! If God really loves me, He wouldn’t let me live in sorrow like this.... “
He cried and he cried.
"I miss my son ... He was too young to die… “
The man buried his face in his hands and walked around the valley aimlessly.
Heartbroken
We walked again, and found a young woman who was crying while pulling her hair out.
"I don’t understand,” she said between sobs. “Why is God always punishing me? Why does God want me to suffer? My boyfriend left me. I loved him so much but he betrayed our love… he left me and I’m heartbroken… ” She cried and cried, and started pulling her hair out again.
“Why did God let this happen to me? I hate myself and I want to die! My life is so miserable!”
This poor woman wept and wept, then she let out a shrill, piercing scream. It gave me shivers down my spine.
I felt her pain. She was deeply wounded. I just hoped that one day she will realize that her ex was just a stepping stone to something better.
Disability
We left the young woman and found another young woman. This woman held a baby in her arms. She was pacing back and forth looking grumpy. Sometimes she swung her baby harshly.
The young lady approached me and stared deep into my eyes. I saw weariness and frustration in her eyes.
"Why ..." she said. "Why did God give me a handicapped son?”
I looked at the baby in her arms. He looked so normal.
“For years I have served Him with all my heart,” she raved again. “But now I’m at a point in my life when I don’t want to do that anymore. Because God has let me down completely by giving me this disabled child."
I looked more closely at the baby, but still found nothing wrong with him. Or is he autistic? I couldn’t tell.
"My daughter," said Jesus, "the child is disabled in man’s eyes, but in My eyes, he is beautiful and perfect."
Jesus reminded me that since I was in the spirit realm, I was looking at the baby’s spirit form instead of his physical. His spirit form indeed was perfect and beautiful just like Jesus said. He was a cute and a handsome baby boy. He looked healthy, too.
"I can’t stand it anymore," the young mother said. "What’s the point of raising a useless child? It is only exhausting. And having a disabled child is so embarrassing. My life is ruined!”
How sad for the baby. His own biological mother rejected him.
Every parent who has a child with a disability needs to realize that their child never chose to be that way. It is not their fault for having such condition.
“One day,” Jesus said, "this child will return to My Father’s house and be with Me forever. He will be happy forevermore. I will make him happy.”
Jesus gazed at the baby with love. “I love him as much as I love the others. People may despise him, but in My sight he is beautiful. I am near to those who are unloved and rejected.”
Then He turned to me and said, “These people always complain about how unfair their life is. But they forget one thing. I too have went through unfairness. I have suffered a great injustice when I was crucified on the cross. It was not for the mistakes I did. I shed My blood to save men from eternal perdition.
"But these people, they are not worthy of the kingdom of God. No one who puts their own comfort above all else is fit for the kingdom of God.
“When difficulties come into their lives, they so quickly turn renegade and desert Me. It is because they do not sincerely love Me. They merely love My blessings.
"They murmur against Me all day. Fear and worry control them, they cannot overcome it because they do not believe in Me.
"Those who love Me from a pure heart will still love Me even in times of testing. I say to you, victory shall be given to them. I will prove Myself faithful to My children.”
Jesus put His hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye. “I want My children to know that I am with them when they are here. Even though this place is frightening and they have to go through suffering and tears, I never leave their side. I hold their hands tightly and never let go. Not for one second do I leave or forsake them.
"I light the way they should go. I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. I shall deliver them from this valley of tears and grant them victory.”
The Winners
"Look." Jesus pointed to the white pathway.
I turned my head to the path. There were men and women walking on it. They walked one by one on the path, not very close to one another. Each person walked with a distance of around 5 meters from the person behind them.
They all had a lamp in their hand. The light wasn’t too bright but it was enough to light their way.
Everyone looked pale and frightened. However they never stopped moving forward. They kept walking, even though very slowly, one careful step at a time.
Not one person made a sound. They were silent, in contrast to those who weren’t on the path - that grumbled all the time.
But they who walked on the path were quiet and so focused on the road as they kept looking down. They looked alert.
Sometimes they lifted their head up to look around carefully, then quickly had their eyes back on the road again. They looked down most of the time as if they wanted to make sure they always stayed on the path.
They all looked tense. Some were even crying. I saw tears rolling down their faces. But they kept moving forward with tears in their eyes. There was no sound of sobbing; they cried silently.
"They are not walking alone,” Jesus said. He touched my eyes. “Look."
I saw something I didn’t see before.
A man, tall and shining, walked along right next to every person. A similar looking Person accompanied each person on the path. At once I knew this Person was the Holy Spirit.
"The Holy Spirit is with them always. He never leaves them. He guides and protects them."
The Holy Spirit held their hands. Sometimes He rubbed their hair and kissed their foreheads lovingly. He wiped their tears away with His finger, hugged them, and then held their hands again.
“They do not know where the way out is,” Jesus said, “but with faith they keep going on the path in hopes of finding it. And I say to you, they will find it.”
After He said that, Jesus gave me a long embrace and returned me to my room.
The Holy Spirit, the Lamp, and the Way of Truth
The Holy Spirit guides those who are willing to be guided. He is with those who trust Him. The Helper, the Holy Spirit gives victory to those with a lamp in their hand.
The lamp symbolizes the obedience to do God’s will. The most fundamental of God’s will are written in the Scriptures.
Without a lamp, we will be lost in the valley. It is impossible to find the narrow path that leads to the way out in pitch darkness.
This means without the obedience to be the doer of the word, we will only be trapped in the valley of the shadow of death.
The lamp lights the way we should go – which is to the path. The path (The Way Of Truth) leads us to the exit (victory). And the Holy Spirit is our God that helps us through the whole process.
* * *
“Thy word is a lamp
unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”
(Psalm 119:105 ~ KJV)
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of
the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod
and Thy staff they comfort
me.”
(Psalm 23:4 ~ KJV)
“When God
pushes you to the edge of difficulty, trust Him fully because two
things can happen. Either He’ll catch you when you fall, or He will
teach you how to fly.”
(Unknown)