CHRIS VESTER

Chadd and Brooke are the founders of a Christian movement called 3-of-7. Their mission statement reads, “At 3-of-7, we believe that mankind was created in the image and likeness of God. We, as human beings, consist of three parts. A body, soul, and spirit just as God is comprised of the Father, of the Son, and the Holy Spirit. This is what the three of 3-of-7 represents. The seven in 3-of-7 represents a totally complete life where we lack nothing and have the tools and ability to help others and meet all challenges, physically, mentally, and spiritually head on.” Was 3-of-7 something you two created together?

CHADD WRIGHT

In the beginning, my brother was working a full-time job to support his family. When you start out as an entrepreneur you don’t get paid in the beginning. Luckily Brooke and I were in the position in our own lives where we had steady income. I had retired from the military. We had a small amount of savings. Brooke and I worked together closely in the beginning. She gave hours of her time to the business that helped it get off the ground.

She didn't have to do any of that, but because we are a team and we see each other as team members, she gave up a whole year of her life to help us get this ministry off the ground. She is an awesome partner and wife to make that sacrifice. She was a huge part of the beginning of our entrepreneurship journey.

SUZANNE VESTER

Talk about everything you have walked through together as a team. How do you navigate things when they get frustrating and you have different visions as you’re moving forward? How do you resolve that and lean back to your core values during those conversations?

BROOKE WRIGHT

We have had so many transitions as a couple. We transitioned from kids in love to roommates in San Diego. I was a drug addict. He was always gone. He was a Navy SEAL. We have all these different dynamics from these different periods in our life. I think we've lived in five different places in the last six years. We've both had multiple jobs. Chadd retired from the military, and every time we make a big shift, the dynamic and our perspectives on our personalities start to change shape. I wouldn't say we've grown apart. We've been strongly rooted in things we believe in. Chadd and I are opposite on a lot of things. The older we get the firmer we are in our feelings, so we’ve been navigating that for the past two years.

It's difficult because we see things differently. Things that are important to me aren't important to him and vice versa. We usually have totally different perspectives on everything – money, life, relationships. At this point in our marriage, we are finally starting to see some stability in our life. It's given us time to work on our relationship and we've been doing that by going to marriage counseling and using the tools we learn there to try to work on hearing each other. I can't expect him to believe the same way I believe, and I can't take it as an offense if he doesn't.

CHADD WRIGHT

When I was in the military, we didn't have the capacity to face challenges in our marriage. We had to ignore them because of the up-tempo pace of life. The last two years have been our first opportunity to try to have a good relationship with longevity built in. Marriage counseling is huge. Don't be afraid to find someone and make that investment. It's not cheap. It takes time and money. There is no better investment you can make in your life than going and having a mediated conversation with someone you trust who is a professional who can give you the tools you need. We are amateurs in terms of marriage. We've been married for almost 10 years, but it's almost like we've only been married for two years because we never saw each other the first three quarters or more of our marriage. We have grace with one another. We're real with each other. We don't hold grudges against each other.

I make a lot of mistakes. I do a lot of stupid stuff. Brooke rightfully gets angry, but she doesn't resent me for long periods of time. She has so much grace. Two of her biggest gifts from God are grace for other people and generosity. That helps so much in our marriage. It challenges me to act the same way. We've started praying together every night. Last night I did a stupid thing. I bought a second set of night vision goggles. They cost $6,000 a pair. I didn't ask her about it. I just wanted them, and I went out and bought them. She had every right to get mad about that.

There is a current issue we're facing right now in our marriage that revolves around money, and on my behalf, mismanagement of money. Last night when we laid down in bed we prayed together. We prayed for someone else because we were frustrated with ourselves. That is very healing. It helps reset what happened that day. It’s awkward at first to pray with your spouse.

BROOKE WRIGHT

It’s still awkward and we’ve been doing it for months. People imagine us curled up in bed together praying in unison and it’s not like that. It can get awkward and sometimes we wonder why the other prays for something.

CHADD WRIGHT

Our styles of prayer are different too. We made that commitment, so we work through the awkwardness. We also always try to go to bed together. We never sleep in separate rooms. Even if we have a big fight, we don’t sleep in separate rooms. We’ve never slept in a separate bed for a single night in all the time we’ve been together.

CHRIS VESTER

It’s important to always share a bed, even if you don’t go to bed at the same time. Praying together is such a great idea because it brings about openness, transparency, and vulnerability that allows us to see our spouse in a different way. When one of you wonders why the other is praying for something, that prayer allows you to see what’s in each other’s hearts. For example, Suzanne knows that I am not good at accepting compliments, so the way she prays for other people is different than how she prays over me.

Chadd, you said Brooke’s biggest gifts were grace and generosity. Brooke, what do you think Chadd’s biggest gifts are?

BROOKE WRIGHT

His gifts limit him in some ways. Anyone who knows Chadd knows if he decides he's going to do something, he's going to do it, and be the best. He'll break himself. If he wanted to become the best ballerina in the United States and he decided he was going to, he would do it. I know that for sure and I don't ever doubt him. That's his biggest strength. He's able to accomplish things a lot of other people couldn't because of his front-sight focus and ability to hone in all his energy. He puts all his energy into what he’s passionate about. His faith is another one of his strong points. He saved my life, and a lot of that was through prayer and exemplifying what faith could look like and do for someone’s life.

His faith doesn’t limit him, but the front-sight focus creates tunnel vision for him. When he gets on something it’s difficult to get him to think about something else. When he has something coming up, whether it’s a race or hunting season, he doesn’t see or think about anything else. People think I'm exaggerating but he won't see me, and I've learned to meter my expectation. That’s part of him. I have my flaws that he has learned to tolerate too.

CHADD WRIGHT

It's strange how your strengths can, at some point, become challenges. Even Brooke’s generosity can be challenging because she would give all our money away if I didn’t stop her. I have accomplished some difficult things in my life but being hyper-focused comes at a cost. It cost not only my relationship with Brooke but with other people outside my marriage. I’ve unintentionally hurt people because when I focus on something I ignore everything else.

CHRIS VESTER

When people overuse their gift, it can evolve into a deficit. It’s important to know how to temper that.

Brooke, you said Chadd saved your life. Can you tell us how that happened?

BROOKE WRIGHT

I was a drug addict for seven years. I used prescription drugs. I did everything but shoot up heroin. Towards the end of the seven years, I was mixing drugs that weren’t supposed to be mixed. I saw people die in front of me from mixing these drugs, but I was in such a bad place and I couldn't get high anymore that I didn’t care. Before that I was a somewhat functioning drug addict, but Chadd was never home. Like he said earlier, he didn't have the time. He did not have the time to serve his country and acknowledge that I had a problem and face it.

When things started to spiral, I would do crazy things. I would fall asleep in the car while I was sitting up. I would sleep for two days straight before waking up. I would get really sick when I ran out of drugs and had horrible withdrawals. I faked an illness so I could get drugs. That was a lot of strain on him. During this time, I remember Chadd praying. He would walk around our house and pray over the house and pray over our bed. He still loved me, and he still supported me. He read his Bible every day and he brought God and Jesus into our lives as much as he could without pushing it on me. He knew if he pushed it on me, I would never accept it.

Chadd was there waiting and ready. He was praying for me multiple times every day when he was home. Then once I decided to get clean, we stumbled a little bit because I was scared. I manipulated him and lied a lot. Through that process, which was the hardest part of the two years it took me to finally get clean and sober, I detoxed multiple times and then finally went to rehab. His support and his love didn’t make my shame intensify like it does for a lot of people. He was forgiving, which came from his faith.

CHADD WRIGHT

When Brooke started telling her story, she said she wanted to give people an idea of how bad she was. I want to correct that. It’s not how bad she was, it was how bad the disease was. That was not Brooke. Brooke is the most beautiful human being you will ever meet both inside and out. That was there the whole time, but people couldn’t see it because the disease had become so bad.

When I came back from deployment in 2012, I had recently been saved. Before that I was wicked and sinning. In the realm of morality, nothing was off limits for us. If I hadn’t come to know Jesus Christ and understand the grace He gave to me when I decided to submit to Him and accept that gift, we would probably still be sinning. If I hadn’t known about His grace, I would not have been able to forgive Brooke or have grace for her. It would have been impossible for me to love her. Jesus Christ, in the example He set for us, was the conduit that held our marriage together. That was our reality.

SUZANNE VESTER

Chadd, you’ve talked about how you have intentional focus and energy in everything you do. How would you say you were able to channel that same focus and energy into your marriage and into Brooke’s recovery, without forcing it on her so that it was something she wouldn’t automatically reject? How did you apply that in a gentle way, but still hold true to who you are?

CHADD WRIGHT

The only thing I could do was lead by example. I lived it out and I had no expectations for Brooke. Executing is all about getting up and living by example and carrying out the things you have learned to be true in your life.

BROOKE WRIGHT

He’s still doing that because his faith is solid. I don’t have a great foundation and I don’t know how to explain it without people doubting my salvation. I struggle. I have a lot of questions, all the time. Right now, I’m faking it until I make it when it comes to my relationship with Jesus. I’m reading, praying, and doing the things I’m supposed to do. I’m praying for a measure of faith that is close to what Chadd has. I might never get that. Part of my purpose might be that I’m supposed to fight for it for the rest of my life. I know Chadd sees when I fall off or when I’m not practicing how I should. He never pushes me or calls me out. He just leads by example and stays consistent.

CHADD WRIGHT

In the Scripture it says, “Work out your faith with fear and trembling.” Brooke goes through a daily process of working out what faith is in fear and trembling. She asks the hard questions that nobody asks. She’s working this out day-by- day. Brooke never quits. That’s why she’s alive today. She is the shining example of what it looks like for a human to work out their faith in fear and trembling. That implies work. Don’t just go along with what everybody’s telling you. Brooke can witness to people in a totally different way than I can. She can reach a whole other group of humans on earth and help them in ways that are completely off limits to me. That’s the beautiful thing about the body of Christ.

CHRIS VESTER

You two have mentioned you’re different, but both of you have said you each have grace and never quit, even though you facilitate these differently in your lives. Brooke will reach a different demographic than Chadd because so many people struggle with the idea of how deep their faith is and question their salvation. Maybe they didn’t have an “aha moment” like some of us have, but that doesn’t mean there is a loss of salvation.

SUZANNE VESTER

There's zero waste of pain in how we can witness and minister to the people around us. For example, Brooke can speak to people from a whole different perspective and viewpoint and point of life, even than we can. How we have walked out our struggles is a great beacon for other people to follow. Brooke has been there and is now on the other side. She can be an armor-bearer and help lift others up because she knows what those moments feel like. I have a background in psychology, but I have no idea how withdrawal feels. I can explain the finer points from my textbook, but I still don’t know how it feels. It’s different when you’ve been there. It’s beautiful that Brooke has these experiences and asks the hard questions. Many people are fearful to ask those questions because they don’t want to be seen a certain way. We need to be challenged to think deeper.

CHRIS VESTER

Let’s talk about 3-of-7 and what role Brooke plays in that.

CHADD WRIGHT

3-of-7 is a project that allows us to work with the right people because the people we work with put in some effort to figure out what these people are doing and what they are offering. The 3-of-7 project is a training company. Our training consists of three levels. One is the basic course where we lead small teams of men and women. People must apply and be selected by me. Then we go out on a three-day mission in the wilderness. There is a lot that goes into that, and a lot comes out in terms of faith, teamwork, leadership, personal growth, and development. Many lives have changed because of the basic course in the wilderness environment. We also have what we call the Proving Ground. That is not held out in the wilderness. It’s held in a facility where we can push hard and pull back when we need to. It’s a controlled environment.

In the wilderness you can't do that. The Proving Ground facilitates a different pace, and a different form of growth and intensity. Then we run Advanced Missions. In 2022 we will have two alpine mountaineering missions and one on the largest river on the East Coast. That will be an eight-day mission where we will paddle the entire length of the Altamaha River from the headwaters to the coast of the Atlantic Ocean.

I was a SEAL instructor for two years. It's where I learned about my passion to teach. My biggest passion in life is teaching and facilitating these very intense and professional missions and environments for people to grow. They're not canned. They're for real. There's real risk involved, and you must come into it with the proper mindset. It can't be scaled. It must stay small. Through the 3-of-7 podcast we have put so much work into that. The podcast is a labor of love. We also get to go out and travel around and speak.

A podcast is the entry level of learning. A speaking engagement is one step above that because people get live interaction. The training is the top tier, and we can transfer value between one another. In the beginning Brooke was a part of everything. She booked speaking engagements. She booked podcast guests. She helped facilitate training evolutions. She did all the photography for free. Now Blake, my little brother, is full-time and we have hired two other full-time instructors. By having four full-time team members it’s allowed Brooke to step away from the 3-of-7 project and pursue her passion of photography.

BROOKE WRIGHT

I was helping with the business, and I was going to continue to help with the business, and our marriage counselor suggested that we revisit that. I didn't think the business was being generous enough, but he thought they were doing plenty. We learned when we’re working together on something and we’re both passionate, that can cause problems in our marriage. We decided it would be better for our marriage if I pulled out of the business, left him to it, and get something of my own going instead. That was hard because I was attached to the work, but it ended up better in the end. That was a sacrifice we needed to make.

CHADD WRIGHT

Brooke still is a huge contributor to my role in the ministry. The 3-of-7 project is essentially a ministry. It is a for-profit business, and we do a lot more than Christian work. We have students from other religions, and we have some who are atheists. We accept all. We share our faith in the forefront of everything we do because that’s the biggest part of us. I promise all my customers and students to give them all I am. If I withhold my faith, I’m withholding the biggest part of myself. That’s how the ministry aspect shines through. I don’t cheat my customers or students out of who I am. Brooke contributes now as an instructor with her perspective. She challenges us to be more generous. She challenges the way I think about things and the way I think about people without being accusatory.

She still cares about what I do. She cares about the people who are part of the body of the 3-of-7 project. We don't view our students as students. It feels awkward for me to call them a customer. We view everyone who comes out and trains with us and spends times with us as the body of the 3-of-7 project. We tried to model our business off the body of Christ. Brooke cares about those people. She knows those people. So, in a sense, we still work together and the ministry and the business are better because of her.

CHRIS VESTER

Brooke, by growing the 3-of-7 with Chadd, did you learn lessons that you were able to transfer into what you’re doing now? How do you let faith shine in the areas where you work?

BROOKE WRIGHT

I believe God gives me these personality traits that are strong in me, even though I don't have the faith. When I go to think about God or heaven’s existence, my brain tries to fight me on that. I care so much about everybody. I want to give everybody everything. My love for people is overwhelming, and my conscience is overwhelming. If I don't put my cart back it bothers me for the rest of the day. I know that must come from somewhere, it’s not natural. I used to lie, steal, and manipulate. That was a symptom of the disease. Getting clean and changing drastically felt spiritual to me. That might be the part of me God has influenced. Those parts help me in my jobs. I don’t have to fake it.

I genuinely care about my photography customers almost to a fault. I’ll build a relationship with them, and become emotionally involved. Then I feel guilty for charging them, and then I want to give them extra stuff. I am still working on my boundaries. Being a people person and caring deeply benefits me in everything I do if I keep my boundaries in place. Helping build 3-of-7 doesn't really translate to my new job, but there are so many good things I got out of that for life. The biggest impact has been seeing all these people who don’t know us come together and support us. In the beginning I cried and asked how it happened and how we did we get here?

CHADD WRIGHT

One of the things we both learned together as we built the 3- of-7 project was how to be an entrepreneur. Brooke was able to apply that to her photography. She’s an artist. When she first got a camera, she had a passion for photography, but she didn't have clients. She had to give her services away because she hadn't built up her reputation. It was costing money for her to get into photography. When we first started the 3-of-7 project, we weren’t making money. We’ve been in business for two- and-a-half years, and I only started receiving a paycheck two months ago. Brooke had a similar progression with her photography.

When she first started, she didn’t even know how to get people to let her take their picture. Now she must turn people away because her schedule is so full. It took her two years to get to that point. When you work through starting a business and being an entrepreneur, you realize the process of owning a business or starting a ministry won’t yield any income for two to five years. It might even cost you money to do it. You can’t skip that step. This is something we learned together, and we’ve seen the fruits of our labor. We understand how that process works.

CHRIS VESTER

What do you consider to be your superpower as a couple?

CHADD WRIGHT

Our ability to make sacrifices is our superpower. We have chosen not to have children for now. We live a modest lifestyle. We do not have a big home, we drive old cars, and we don’t wear fancy clothes or jewelry. Our superpower is our freedom of movement and our ability to sacrifice because we haven’t overcommitted in terms of debt or responsibility to others. Having children is a huge commitment and a worthy one at that. There's nothing better you could do with your life as a husband and wife than raise children, but we had to shift so we wouldn’t have the stress of debt and commitments.

Making those sacrifices has allowed us to pour into others in a big way. Many couples can’t make these sacrifices. Couples with children need the big home for the big family. They need the nice cars to go on business or family trips. Those are worthy things, but we don't have them. So, we operate differently.

CHRIS VESTER

Brooke, do you feel the same?

BROOKE WRIGHT

I agree, but I think our other superpower is our authenticity. In Chadd’s courses he shows people who he really is. I try to do the same. We're constantly surrounded by all these people in this digital world who are trying to portray the best version of themselves. That's great, sometimes. I feel strongly about being open about our struggles and our problems. If people are going to look up to us, we shouldn’t give them something they can't attain. If we normalize the struggle and the problems, everyone's going to have a better self-esteem.

CHADD WRIGHT

If you are going to be an authentic couple, an authentic person, and you choose to give the world all of who you are, the good, the bad and the ugly, you are never going to have the largest platform. You are never going to have the most followers. You're never going to have the most listeners. You're never going to have the most money. But the people who listen, follow, and contribute are the right people.

I've had to come to terms with that because I see people I know, and I see their image online or in the media, and I know that's not who they are, but they are still crushing it. When we put out a call for help, even though we have less of a following, the results have been off the chart. For example, we are auctioning off art for a scholarship program. One of our people from the 3-of-7 project bid $22,000, not because the art was worth that but because he wants our program to work. He wants to contribute to the scholarship program so others who can’t afford to come and train with us have the same opportunity he had.

BROOKE WRIGHT

He feels like he's a part of it. Our students or customers become part of the mission to the project. Finding people who embody the project and act on it is great because they’re long- term. They’re in it for the long haul.

CHADD WRIGHT

It can be discouraging to only have 100 followers and only 10 people who listen to your podcast. I would rather be authentic and have 10 team members than 10,000 people who are only lukewarm about what we do and are only there to please others while not contributing. Don’t get discouraged. Keep going. If you only have 10 listeners, give them everything you’ve got, because they’re worth it.