“Honour your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” [ Exodus 20:12 also Repeated in Deuteronomy 5:16] ]
Just as the fourth commandment was a bridge between God and man, the fifth command is very much the transition from God as the head of His people to man being the head of the Earthly family. God gave man His sacred day as a day of rest, the Sabbath was made for man [Mark 2:27], in commandment five God sets out the structure of the human family. The command was given before the people crossed into the Promised Land, Canaan, so God refers it to the future, 'God is giving you.' just as it says in Deuteronomy 5:16. Later in New Testament times Jesus speaks about giving honour to our parents, He accuses the first century Jews of finding ways of setting aside /his Father's commands in order to observe the traditions of men [Mark 7:9]. Jesus continues to explain that Moses decreed that anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death [Mark 7:10]. It seems that this command was taken very seriously, it seems to have been the basis for their very society. What then is giving honour to your parents? The Hebrew word used here in the fifth commandment is 'kâbad', which has a primitive root “to be heavy”, possibly as a duty. Let us then look at some examples of parent child relationships from the Bible.
In Genesis we can read the account of Abraham and his son Isaac, who God instructs Abraham to sacrifice to Him. Abraham was to take Isaac to the land of Moriah, which is taken to mean Mount Moriah. Mount Moriah of course is the mount (hill) on which Solomon's Temple was later constructed; and offer his son up as a burnt offering [Genesis 22:1-2]. Abraham left his servants and went to the mount, and he got Isaac to actually carry the wood for the sacrifice, whilst he carried a knife and the fire bowl (this was the way that fire was transported in those days, fire was valuable and it was carried in a vessel with oil soaked wool or fibre). Isaac must have known what was happening, he was bound and laid on the alter, on top of the wood [Genesis 22:9]. As Abraham was about to slaughter his son with the knife, the Angel of the Lord stopped him and showed him a ram caught on some brambles [Genesis 22:12-13]. It was of course a test for Abraham, and God blessed Abraham richly because he had not withheld his only son, however, it shows a perfect trust of Isaac in his father [Genesis 22:16]. It is obvious that Isaac obeyed and trusted his father, honouring him, and a perfect picture of how we should honour God, just as God honours us if we honour Him [1 Samuel 2:30] How do you think Isaac felt during the climb up the mount and how he felt toward his father, Abraham?
Later in Genesis we find one of the most famous stories in the Bible, thanks to Tim Rice and Lloyd Webber, the story of Joseph, but many people miss the latter portion of the Bible story. When God raises Joseph to his lofty position, second only to Pharaoh, and when Joseph's father is advanced in years. Joseph goes to Pharaoh and presents five of his brothers to him, he explains that his father and brothers have come to Goshen (Egypt) with all that they own. Pharaoh asks the brothers what their profession is and the brothers explain that they are shepherds and that there is a famine in Canaan. In response to Joseph's request Pharaoh tells him to settle his father and brothers in Egypt, and in the best land, Pharaoh also offers to employ them as shepherds to his own herds. So here we have Joseph honouring his father by providing for him in his old age, and providing for the whole family. [Genesis 47:1-11]
In the New Testament we find Jesus telling the story of the 'Prodigal Son' [Luke 15:11-32]. Here is a story, maybe Jesus made it up, maybe it was based upon a real situation that Jesus knew of, that starts off with a son not really honouring his father. How this story relates to our present day, one son dissatisfied with his lot in life, asked for his share of the inheritance, then went off and squandered it in high living [Luke 15:11-16]. The son then comes to his senses and returns home to be greeted with celebrations that demonstrate the father's love for him, obviously a picture of man's relationship with God. It is also a picture of what our relationship should be with our parents, how we submit ourselves to them and accept their authority, just as we accept God's authority over us. The son confesses what he has done and repents [Luke 15:11-21] giving his father the honour.
Once more, this is not just an Old Testament law, because Jesus strengthens that particular law for the New Covenant. Jesus quotes the commandment but indicates that this particular law has already been disregarded and calling them hypocrites. Jesus demonstrates honouring His Earthly parents, and caring for then even when He was on the cross. Jesus looks down from the cross and sees His mother, Mary standing with He beloved disciple John, and He gives His mother over into the care of John and John into the motherly authority of Mary. John, as per Jewish tradition, then takes Mary into his household [John 19:26-27] Jesus had done His duty under the law. Despite this being as a role model, many Christian offspring ignore their duty to their parents, in Paul's second letter to Timothy he lists disobedience to parents as one of the ways society will fall away from God and His laws. How then can we expect our children to honour us when they do not see us honouring our parents, we need to let our light shine through what we do [Matthew 5:16]. Paul also makes it clear that our relationships with our children, is a two-way street, he reiterates that children should obey their parents and honour them, which as Paul points out is the first commandment with a promise [Ephesians 6:2]; that they may have a long life. Paul, however, makes it clear that we, as parents, should not 'exasperate' our children [Ephesians 6:4]. The word 'exasperate' can also be translated as 'provoke', which cannot happen if we bring them up under the Lord's instruction.
Each and every commandment and law is given by God for our benefit, however the fifth commandment is singled out to be accompanied by blessings it brings to families and therefore society. Our relationship with God is often a reflection of our relationship with our parents, and often conversely. It also impacts on how we view society and authority, how we view the civil and criminal law, or our boss at work, being able to accept authority. God wants us to honour all people [ 1 Peter 2:17] and submitting to God's authority [Romans 13:1], not that God approves to wrong authority, because He does hold them in stricter judgement [James 3:1] wrong teachers, parents and leaders. Honouring our parents does not end when we leave home or get married, being a member of a family is a lifetime commitment, because we are a part of God's family, His children, for ever, we are also a permanent member of our earthly family. This extends in both directions, to obey our parents and to care for them with love, in their latter years, as Joseph did. Just as there is a commitment to our parents, there is also a commitment of our parents to us, that parents should not do anything that would discourage our sons or daughter [Colossians 3:21]. The word here that is translated as 'discouraged' is the Greek 'athymeō', meaning to loose heart, become spiritless, dismayed or broken in spirit.
So we must both train, discipline and admonish our children with love, and set an example for them. The law book of Deuteronomy tells us how God has instructed us in this, that we should love God with all of our hearts and souls and strength, and we should teach our children the law, discussing God's commands with them in our quality times with them [Deuteronomy 6:5-7]. These are difficult things to do in this age, where pressures of different kinds exert pulls on both parent and child, consider the following; how do the following impact on teaching our children about God?
Just one more note, I spotted the below verse whilst doing this study, which made me smile.
A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son brings grief to his mother. [Proverbs 10:1]
Nothing ever seems to change, at first I scratched my head about this verse, but when I thought about it I realised that is is just the same today. How much joy does a wise son bring to a father, he will go around boasting of the son's accomplishments. When that son is foolish, the father almost disregards him (not stopping loving him), never mentions him. A foolish son however, makes his mother grieve and causes so much worry. Things have not changes in two and a half thousand years.