TOPIC:

CHOOSING THE RIGHT PARTNER IN CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

BY

PASTOR (DR.) SMART OYEDOTUN OYEJIDE

CHRISTIAN CHURCH INTERNATIONAL

Email: smartoyejide@gmail.com

(+234)08130300857, 08114122591)

Introduction:

Life indeed was not created to be lived all alone. To be realistic, we need someone by our side to sojourn together. In the beginning of the bible, God says “It is not good for a man to be alone” (Genesis 2 :18).

There is a part man has to play in a woman’s life. There is also help a woman needs to offer to man.

God knows what is best for us and provides a ‘helpmate’

The marriage journey is long and cannot be travelled without a partner. You need to form partnership with someone like they do in business which must be based on mutual understanding and concrete agreement between the parties involved.

In choosing the right partner for Christian marriage, we must be conscious of the fact that marriage is a gift from God. Marriage is an Institution of God. Choosing a partner affects our whole spiritual outlook- that is the more reason why it must be done rightly.

If you must profit and not regret any form of partnership, the correct blue print must be strictly followed. It is highly dangerous and sinful to rush into the unknown.

This write up exposes a pathway and guidelines according to the scriptures with proven tips that can be helpful for choosing the right partner for a Christian marriage life.

Choosing a spouse, the right partner or marriage mate is one of the most critical decisions you’ll make in your adult life and for obvious reasons.

If you can strictly follow these guidelines and the treated issues raised, they are made available to help you make the right or correct decision.

It has been said emotionally that when love comes in the search for the right partner, reason flies out of the window. (That should not be). Love is never blind except when lovers decided to close their eyes. If you must get it right, you must open your eyes to reasons and the truth.

In addition, you are responsible for any choice of partner and the outcome of your steps or actions thereafter. (Genesis 24:1-42). Your future is created today, not tomorrow.

How to find the mate of your dreams

• Does god want the best for me?

No doubt about that. In case you have been waiting for your dream spouse or life partner, God is ready when you are set or prepared to settle down as a boy or girl for marriage.

God wants the best for your life including chosen the right partner. You can never regret doing so. Proverb 18:22 says:

 “Whosoever findeth a wife findeth a good wife and obtained favour of the Lord”. When your favour level is sufficient, it attracts you to your desired marital partner. Where this favour is not strong enough, the binding force between the man and the woman in relationship will be weak. It is not by good dressing, good perfume, good make ups, good education nor good job. This favour is that one from the Lord not of man. It is when you find God properly and abide strictly in him that he releases this favour on you.

Let us think about our God!

“All things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8 Vs 28)

“Let the Lord be magnified, which hath pleasure in the prosperity of his servant” (Psalms 35 vs 27)

“Delight thyself in the Lord, and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart commit thy way unto the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring to pass (Psalms 37 vs 4 and 5)

The more you get to know and trust God, you will experience that He gives only good gifts to His children. (Gen. 21:19-21) When God make room for any mission or venture in life it will thrive and succeed. 

HOW CAN YOU KNOW THE WILL OF GOD IN CHOOSING THE RIGHT PARTNER?

As Christians, we should use the biblical formula to make a choice of our life partner. This remains the best ever. Anything sort of this is highly risky and not guaranteed. Others may do things anyhow, but a good Christian should always insist on doing or knowing the will of God. But then…..

HOW CAN WE KNOW THE WILL OF GOD? (Psalms 32:8)

There are proven ways to compare and ascertain the will of God for your life in any facet including making the right choice.

Some of them are:

1. Through the Holy Spirit;- The revelation of God can be made known to you by the Holy Spirit. There can be no better counsel than what is stamped by the Holy Spirit approval. (John 16:13) (1John 4:1)

Therefore, always allow the holy spirit of God to lead you. Acknowledge your dependence on the Holy Spirit and be sensitive to his leading (Romans 8:14). The Holy Spirit will teach/guide you what is right.

What you may not see or know about a partner, be assured, the Holy Spirit can show clearly the x-ray. Submit to the Holy Spirit. Young people, you probably think that you know better, but allow the Holy Spirit to open your mind to the teachings from God’s word and the reward Gog gives for obedience, faithfulness and patience would be more than you ever could have imagined.

2. The Bible: (Joshua 1 :8 ) God also uses the Bible to make us know his will. Get yourself familiar with the bible.

Look, there can be no better counsel than what is found in the word of God.

This is where the right guide-lines for our direction can be rightly discovered without any compromise. Every decision made must be in commitment with the bible. (Colossian 3:16, Hosea 4:6)

3. Wise Counsel From Matured Spiritual Fathers And Mothers (Prov2:15) (Proverbs 11:14) Seek out the wisdom of other individuals. Even secular research has shown the wisdom and value of doing this. Therefore, get all the advice you can and be wise the rest of your life.

The way of a fool seems right to him but a wise man listens to advice (Prov. 12:15)

A fool spurns his father’s discipline; but whoever heeds correction shows prudence (Prov. 15:15)

In your search for the right partner in Christian marriage, you must seek good counsel from the right sources most especially spiritual and matured fathers and mothers. Listen to wise advice; follow it closely for it will do your life good.

4. Providential and Experiential Circumstance or (coincident) Romans 8:28

5. Your conscience: (The God’s Police of the mind) do not do anything thing against your conscience

Conscience: is the invisible you that determine the wellbeing of the visible.

Conscience is the part of your mind that tells whether your actions are right or wrong; that thing that pricks your mind as you embark on actualizing your thought be it good or bad.

Types of conscience

There are 4 types of conscience:

i. The pure/good conscience

ii. Weak conscience

iii. An evil defiled conscience

iv. Godly conscience

Operating with pure, good and godly conscience is the way out of your confusion. Desire it and go for it.

Welcome to your season to your season of blossoming.

6. Wisdom or common sense: (Proverbs 8) Do not stray away from common sense. Apply wisdom in your selection of the right partner for Christian marriage. The value of wisdom is far above rubies, nothing can be compared with it. Learn from others mistake. Always ask the question “Does it make sense?”

Choosing the right partner in Christian marriage is an enterprise that must be done with pure and genuine motives for there is no hiding place. No single voice should carry the weight of choosing a life partner if you must make the right choice. No matter what, integrate them with how you are going to build compatibility with that special person.

(Bible Passages: Luke 6:38, 1Timothy 3:9, James 1:8, 2Peter 2:14, Titus 1:15, Mark 10:45, John 17:3)

Note: People are only as successful as the quality of their relationships. Cheating your spouse is unethical because it is betray of one of the most spiritual bonds on earth, the bond between husband and wife.

• Always remember that the heavenly father wants to fulfill every plan and purpose. He has for your life. Avoid make your own decisions. Instead, find out God’s decisions and
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