CHAPTER TWENTY THREE
Samson and Delilah – Negotiating With the Enemy
Negotiating is essentially a nice, civilized term for bartering, and it is the process of getting the best deal possible. It can take on many forms, from auctioneering, to vying for discounts, to contracting and bringing about mergers. Negotiating is part and parcel of everyday business, from the smallest to the largest, and all of us need to barter or negotiate at some stage of our lives.
From birth Samson was elected to be a judge of his people, to help them keep the covenant of the Lord, to keep the vision and to grow in His ways.
Blessed with great strength, a hot temper, impatience and an independent spirit, he brought the fear of God on all and sundry, wonderful for a soldier, but absolutely useless in a negotiator. Negotiating requires that the two sides come to an agreement with one another. Impatience, fear and temper tend to chase people away and lose the deal. At the time of Samson’s reign as judge in Israel, the Philistines ruled the land and he would react violently to the injustices forced on him and his people.
Unable to physically overpower him, the Philistines sought a way to capture this ‘upstart’ who thwarted them at every turn. Direct confrontation had brought them nothing. Not strong enough to mount a frontal attack they needed another approach to achieve their aim. They sought out his weak spot or rather that for which he had a weakness – his vice. With Samson, the Philistines discovered it was women, for others it may be alcohol, gambling, adrenalin, gossip, or a myriad of other addictions, but whatever it is, the opposition will try to exploit it.
How many negotiators have failed at the negotiating table because of their vices – things that have absolutely nothing to do with their businesses? It is at the negotiating table that we realize life and business are synonymous – they cannot be separated. That is why it is so essential to lead a godly life.
The Philistine plan took shape in the form of Delilah, a woman from the Valley of Sorek who had caught Samson’s eye. They persuaded her to extract Samson’s secret from him, and this entailed some very personal negotiation:
And she said unto him, How canst thou say, I love thee, when thine heart is not with me? thou hast mocked me these three times, and hast not told me wherein thy great strength lieth.
And it came to pass, when she pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death;(Jdg.16:15-16)
Here we see Delilah nagging Samson for the secret of his strength, using his love as a bargaining chip. It was not the first time that Samson found himself in this situation. Earlier, his Philistine wife had used the same ploy to get him to reveal the answer to a riddle and he had succumbed, but vice being what it is, tends to spring the same trap time and again. Vice does not leave voluntary, it has to be evicted, sometimes violently.
Study yourself and your business, know your weaknesses, know your products weaknesses, be ready to counter any attempt to exploit them, so that when the opposition tries to manipulate you with what they think is your weak spot, you will be able to turn the tables on them.
Samson, big and strong, had become arrogant. He ignored his weaknesses and did nothing to bring them under control; he was a mighty man but a weak negotiator. Therefore, Delilah could use all her wiles to entrap him.
A foolish son is the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife are a continual dropping. (Prov.19:13)
Nagging – was the weapon of choice for Delilah that drove Samson to destruction.
And it came to pass, when she pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death;
That he told her all his heart,… (Judges16:16-17a)
The good negotiator needs a cool temperament, patience, determination and strength of thought, traits that fitted Delilah well.
Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom. (Mic.7:5)
Be aware with whom you share your innermost secrets. Guard your lips; do not reveal those things that could destroy your business. Why let the opposition know how it is possible to undermine you?
From Delilah’s point of view, she had successfully negotiated her way to wealth. She had nothing except her wit and her charms to help her, yet she brought down the mightiest man in Israel. As Christians, we cannot agree with her methods, her emotional manipulation and the use of her body to gain wealth, but that she was successful, there is no doubt.
In negotiating, compare your strengths with your competition’s weaknesses - it may be a comparison of quality or price or location, or even quantity, color or availability. Seek to gain the advantage.
The best negotiators let those they are negotiating with believe that they are doing them a favor, allowing them to think that they have got the better deal:
Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. (Mat.10:16)
The aim of any negotiation is not to destroy or hurt people, but to acquire that which you want. The best wars are those that are won without a shot being fired.
Esther, in negotiating for the life of her people, saw her enemy hung from a gallows.
Jesus, in negotiating with Paul on the road to Damascus, saw His enemy converted to His Way, and ultimately become the great champion of the church of Jesus Christ.
Each had the same purpose in mind, to save their respective people. Each had a violent competitor to negotiate with, and each was successful. One competitor died, the other lived. Negotiations, at times, need to be ruthless and rough, but more often than not,
By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone. (Prov.25:15)
During the best known negotiations of all time, those between Moses and Pharaoh, we see two contrasting positions collide. Pharaoh was powerful and wealthy, the representative of the most powerful nation on earth, a human god. Moses, straight out of the back country of Midian led a ragtag bunch of slaves, penniless, without home or country. But Moses had the advantage, he had grown up in the royal court, therefore he knew how his opponent thought, he had the education and knowledge and he held the moral and spiritual high ground, and try as he might, Pharaoh could not scale it.
The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace. (Ex.14:14)
Moses came to the negotiating table in the name of God, you can too. God was with the Moses, and the result was that the Israelites left Egypt loaded down with silver and gold, given to them by their former owners. You too can leave the table with your pockets full
What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?
(Rom.8:31)