Value of a Mentor
Over the years, I have come to call many people mentor. A mentor is someone who invests his or her time into teaching us personally and discipling us personally. I hope to be a mentor to some of the young men that I teach. While I was growing up, in Lawton, Oklahoma, one of my greatest mentors was a man in the church by the name of Glen. After I began attending Oklahoma Baptist University, my mentors were, and still are, older men by the names of Alan, Scott and Butch. These are the people who choose to invest their personal time in my development within the body of Jesus Christ. Without them, I am convinced that I would not be writing or ministering as I am. For, though I am receiving a great education, the personal touch and growth would be almost absent. We simply cannot achieve what God has for us to achieve on our own. We need mentors.
But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. Slaves are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior.
Titus 2:1-10 ESV
Command for mentors
The Christian religious institution in twenty-first century America is programmatic. We have children’s ministries, youth ministries, young single adult ministries, young married adult ministries, college and career ministries, seminary ministries, women’s ministries, men’s ministries and senior adult ministries. We tend to segregate God’s church and minister to certain groups of people in isolation from the rest of the church body. What if, the different age groups were meant to benefit from interacting with one another instead of existing in isolation? If this is the case, then we are failing as a church institution, to represent and administer discipleship the way that God meant for it to be represented and administered. We also cripple ourselves because we do not receive the discipleship that we need by interacting with other groups within God’s Church.
Paul, in writing directly to Titus, urges Titus to encourage the older women to train the younger women. Paul also commands Titus, a male, to train younger men. What does this mean for us? It means that not only do we have a responsibility to teach those less mature than ourselves in the faith, but we also have a responsibility to accept instruction from those who are more mature in the faith than we are. Every member in the church should be both a student and a teacher in some capacity and especially as it relates to discipleship.
God designed His Church so that every believer might be connected to every other believer in some way. By dividing our church ministries we almost debilitate the church’s ability to live in communal relation.
This is not to say that having separate church ministries or programs is evil or interferes with God’s work. It is simply to say that something must be done in the church as a whole that will allow these separate ministries to mutually benefit one another, and therefore emphasize one church, and the discipleship therein, as it should be. This means connecting people with others who can disciple them who are older and more mature in the faith. Of course this takes a willingness from the people who are being connected with others.
Mentors of same gender
What we absolutely need to notice is that Paul’s advice to Titus encourages mentorship within the category of same-gender. In fact, out of all of the categories we have placed within the confines of church ministry, same-gender is the only one explicitly commanded. Why? Why must males resolve only to mentor younger males? Why must females resolve only to mentor younger females?
The obvious answer is that males and females are different. They differ in anatomy, thought processes, behavior and emotion. Only men can meet the teaching requirements and set a proper example for younger men. Only women can meet the teaching requirements and set a proper example for young women.
Another reason that this is necessary is because it protects mentors from accusation. All it takes is one sexual accusation to ruin any one person’s ministry and effectiveness within the body of Jesus Christ.
Men and women also have different roles within the Church and within the home. According to Paul’s letter to the people in Ephesus, chapter five, men are to exemplify and represent God’s sacrificial love and women are to exemplify human submission to Christ in reverence and respect. Young men cannot learn how to be men of God from women. Young women cannot learn how to be women of God from men. Since we have different roles within God’s Church, it is necessary that we are mentored by and mentor others with a similar set of responsibilities according to God. Men should disciple men. Women should disciple women.
This concept can also be taken and used for discipleship on a more narrow scale. If someone were called to a specific position in ministry, he or she would benefit if he or she were discipled by someone in that area of ministry. For example, youth workers would do well to disciple young men and women who want to go into youth ministry in some capacity. Cooks would do well to disciple young men and women who wish to prepare food as a ministry. Pastors would do well to disciple young men who wish to someday be pastors. Those who have enlisted would do well to disciple those who wish to enlist in any branch of the military. This not only helps the mentor relate to his or her disciple, but also provides inspiration and motivation to the learner in order that he or she might be great at whatever he or she chooses to do in life. It is beneficial that we are mentored by and mentor others with a similar set of interests within the body of Christ.
Preventing segregation
I mentioned, briefly, the separate ministries that we have promoted within the setting of the local church. One thing does bother me about those separate ministries, though they are beneficial to reach different people. It is that they almost become their own sub-church or Para-church. The youth program operates independently of the young adult program. The children’s ministry operates independently of the youth ministry. The young adult ministry operates independently of the senior adult ministry. This is a problem because it causes segregation within what is commanded to be a unified body under Christ.
It certainly does not help when the ministerial staff at any church operates almost independently of one another. The youth minister is in charge of the youth ministry. The senior pastor teaches a Sunday School class and teaches on Sunday morning. The associate pastor teaches young adults and preaches once a month. The music director is in charge of planning the music for Sunday morning, Sunday evening and Wednesday night. The placing of responsibilities on each staff member should be done. The problem surfaces when each staff member works independently of other staff members, just as each ministry almost works independently of other ministries within the church.
How is it that we can prevent this church segregation as it seems to happen almost naturally? The answer is not to do away with church programs or ministries. The answer is not that we should remove responsibility from those who hold ministerial positions. My thought is that each local church should develop a plan of communal discipleship4.
Imagine just how dynamic even a small traditional church would become if older members were connected directly to younger members through discipleship? What would it look like if each ministry within God’s church was connected and dependent on other ministries within the church? What greater dynamic would church services gain if ministers kept office hours and worked side by side planning each service; including order of service, implicit and explicit teaching, teaching through spoken word and music and planning the aesthetic environment for each service. What if ministers were to receive ministry rather than just give it? We can do so much more to facilitate a unified church environment. When we choose to do so, I believe we will see churches grow, qualitatively as well as quantitatively. Keep in mind, also, that what must be developed is a plan of communal discipleship, not a program or a class.
14.1 Plan of Communal Discipleship
Challenge for mentors
Paul, in writing directly to Titus, makes the following statement:
Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.
Titus 2:7-8
Those who teach are required to show themselves in all respects to be a model of good works. We cannot simply hold a teaching position without setting a proper example of good works that come from faith.5 We are charged with a greater responsibility, as teachers, to do good works, and good works can only be done rightly with the power of the Holy Spirit in us.
We must show integrity in our teaching, along with dignity. I know a man who recently got a tattoo along the surface of his skin located where the rib cage is. After paying for and receiving the tattoo, he placed an argument, according to scripture, justifying his own actions. This does not represent integrity or dignity. The very message of scripture, holistically, is that we cannot justify ourselves in any manner.
If we are to teach that God alone has the power and authority to justify the world, then we must be careful not to act as though we justify our own actions. Instead, we must rely on God to change our hearts, and conform them to the heart of Jesus Christ. Thus, our justification is brought to fruition by our transformation, not our self-defense. Integrity and dignity would consist of our making sure we are teaching according to God’s will and not our own desire. Then, we proclaim the teaching that God gives us and uses to transform us with a sense of pride and authority given to us by God. We share what we have learned with dignity.
Other than this, we must present sound speech when teaching, whether it be in one-on-one discipleship or in the presence of many brothers. We should not so avidly claim that we must give up our own lives in order to serve Christ while at the same time preaching what is commonly known as the prosperity gospel. Truth simply cannot exist where contradictions prevail. How can others trust what we say if we contradict ourselves concerning God’s truth? What is necessary for us to avoid contradictions in our teaching? We must choose to think deeply about any given topic or verse of scripture in light of other verses of scripture before teaching it as truth. When we do not know an answer, we approach it in humility: hoping to learn and admitting that we do not readily know the answer. This way, enemies of our Lord and of us will not be able to hold our speech against us. In fact, they will not have anything evil to hold against us.
Benefit for all people
The reason we live in such a way that we set a good example and train younger generations up in righteousness, the reason that we submit to our superiors and allow them to disciple us, is “so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior”6.
God, by design, has placed within this world a standard that is completely determined by Him, His nature, His purpose and His plan. From that standard comes certain doctrines that cannot be avoided: Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the only way to God is through the mediator Jesus Christ, sin has infected all of humanity and it is God alone who justifies and sanctifies. By training others in righteousness and accepting discipleship from others, we not only accept these necessary doctrines, but we also adorn the doctrines. By adorning these doctrines, we actually worship God in our learning; serving His honor and glory. Because we serve God’s honor and glory to a greater degree, we receive a greater satisfaction on this earth and a greater reward in eternity.
Therein lies my challenge. We must all commit to finding someone younger to mentor and finding someone older that will mentor us.