I want to give you some background information about me and my dreams. All my life I have had dreams that felt so real, that remembering them I felt as if I actually experienced them. Those dreams always came true. My mother used to say that I “had a sixth sense.” I will give you a few examples.
About seven years ago, before I converted to Christianity, I met and dated a man named Jeff. I saw Jeff in my dream three months prior to actually meeting him. It was a vivid dream. I even remembered a very small scar he had on his face.
In the dream Jeff and I were in a relationship. But in the dream one day he told me he had to leave. He asked me to wait for him. I was going to wait. But I saw him leave with another woman.
Though I can sometimes see things ahead of time in dreams, I do not always use them to help myself. Despite the forewarning in my dream, I fell in love with Jeff. I decided I would try to change the outcome of the dream.
I told Jeff that I saw him in my dream three months prior to our actual meeting. He believed me. During our time together, he realized I was wired with extra senses. I did not tell him that we broke up and he went with another woman in the dream. I figured I would do everything in my power to change the outcome of the dream so we would stay together.
It surely taught me that the dreams I had were from God. No matter what I did to try to stop the course of events, they happened. I put myself through a nightmare to keep Jeff and me together. But the dream was coming true. He told me he had to leave for a while for his job. I made more sacrifices and tried anything to keep us together. I waited for him for three years. One day he called me to tell me he fell in love with another woman.
Another example of how my dreams come true has to do with my mother. As you will read later, things were difficult between me and my siblings. We disconnected as adults. My mother related to all children. She and I were in regular contact.
I said before, I was born in a secular family in a Muslim country. My parents were not Christians. My mother did not practice any religion. But she believed in a creator.
Nine years ago, five years before I became a Christian, my mother suffered two massive strokes. The second stroke left her in a fatal condition. Doctors told me that she certainly was going to die. She survived. But she was brain dead and completely paralyzed.
My siblings, who were much older than I was, decided it was best for me to assume my mother passed away. They thought they did me a favor by not allowing me see my mother in her poor condition. I was left with the impression that my mother was dead. I figured they took her to her home country to bury her.
Two years later, thinking my mother passed away, I had a vivid dream about her.In the dream someone knocked on my door. I opened the door and it was my mother. She put her arms around me and kissed me. “I had to see you. I’m so glad to see you,” she said. I was looking at her and thinking to myself, wow, she is not paralyzed anymore and looks so much younger. She looked very well. She was wearing a brown cotton sleeveless dress with small colorful flower patterns. It was something she wore at home, or as something in bed. I was so amazed. She looked vibrant, young and had a glow about her. She did not have any gray hair and she looked much younger than the last time I saw her. “I had to see you,” she said again. The dream ended.
I opened my eyes and realized I was dreaming. It was the middle of the night. I thought about my mom and the fact that she had passed away two years ago. I had not had a dream about her in many years. I wondered why I had the dream. I went back to sleep.
In the morning, I was emailing a friend about my dream, since it was one of the dreams that were like others I had that later came true. As I was telling my dream, I was wondering why I dreamed about my mother.
I was typing the email when I heard a knock on my door. Something in my head told me, “It’s about mom.” I ran to the door and opened it. It was my sister’s husband. He told me my mom was still alive. I was in shock. He told me that she had suffered another stroke and was in a coma with her eyes open. The doctors took her off life support because she was practically dead. She was sent to my sister’s house. My mother seemed to be holding on with her eyes open. My siblings thought my mother could somehow be aware that she had not seen me around since her second stroke. They decided to bring me to her in the event she was holding on to see me before she died.
I went with my sister’s husband to their house. I knew I had a mission because of the dream where I saw her. Her eyes were open. I noticed she was wearing a brown cotton dress. It was sleeveless with colorful flower patterns. It was the exact same dress I saw her wear in the dream the night before. I realized I was there to bring her peace and to show her that I was well so she could go home to God. I talked to her. I told her I was well and I told her she should not worry about me. I told her to give her soul to God and to go home. I also changed her diaper. She was laying there like a little baby innocent and glowing.
My sister’s husband came in to the room to take me back home. I told my mother, “You can go now. Give your soul to God.” As I walked away I noticed her eyelids were closing. The day after my sister called to tell me that my mother passed soon after I visited. She passed away on Mother’s Day.
Let me give you another example. This dream was simple and to the point.I dreamt that a tooth in the back of my mouth cracked. I looked in the mirror to find out which tooth cracked. Part of my tooth was chipped off. The dream ended there.
The dream was very vivid. When awoke I wondered if my tooth would chip. I thought it would not happen because I had no problems with my teeth. Plus back teeth are strong, I thought.
Three days later, while eating plain spaghetti, which I always overcook, I felt something in my mouth. I took it out. It was white. I realized it was a piece of my tooth. I looked in the mirror. It was the exact tooth I saw in the mirror in my dream.
So you know about my dreams. I have had big ones and little ones all my life. After I saw an event in my dreams, the event happened in real life.DREAM=PARABLE/CATHOLIC=UNIVERSAL/INSTRUMENT=CATHOLIC=UNIVERSAL
Two and one half years ago, I had a dream that was long, detailed, and vivid, in color and felt very real. Six months after that dream, as I felt the increasing desire to find out about Christianity and to become a Christian, I learned that it was Jesus I met in the dream.
While reading this dream, please put yourself in my place. Imagine it is your dream. The dream has a happy ending. When you read the dream put all of humanity in the year, 2009, in my place in the dream. For Jesus is speaking to all humanity.
As you read, please keep in mind that Catholic means universal. This dream is our dream. It is universal and inclusive. God had me dream it and share it with you.
In my dream I was flying horizontally through a tunnel as others were walking the opposite direction. I came to the end of the tunnel. I found myself walking in a place like a park or a garden. I came to a glass door that opened. A man was exiting as I was about to enter. As I was about to enter a thief stole my wallet and the wallet of the man who was exiting the glass door. I looked calmly in the thief’s eyes and said, “I am an artist you cannot steal from me.” The thief looked in my eyes and said nervously, “Sorry, I know.” He gave me my wallet back. But he did not give the man’s wallet back. The man whose wallet was stolen by the thief turned to people around us and said, “Did you see her look in the thief’s eyes and with such authority get her wallet back? She did a miracle. It was a miracle.” He kept repeating it. “It was a miracle.” I chose not to enter the glass door. I turned to my left and saw two escalators. One was going up to the sky. I could not see the end of the escalator. The other escalator was coming down from the sky. I went on the escalator that went up. (In real life I had a height phobia and I was afraid of heights in dreams as well. But in this dream I did not fear going up the escalator so far in the sky I could not see the end of it.) I stood there and the escalator went up taking me to the end. When the escalator ended, I stepped in to a place that seemed to be another world that I had never seen anything like ever before. It was like a city made of structures that seemed to be buildings and places. All was in white light and crystals. All was glowing white light. I never saw anything like it. It was majestic. It was majestic. I saw two men dressed in Catholic priest’s habit carrying briefcases. They seemed to be on a mission, walking very solid and assured. They were walking my direction. I was still standing next to the escalator that I got off, captivated by what I saw. I suddenly felt I had to turn. I turned to my right and saw a big triangular shaped structure of some sort. It seemed to be crystal. White light was emanating from it. I felt I had to walk to it. I walked to it and stood in front of it. It spoke to me and said, “Catholic.” I somehow knew who talked to me. I understood that I was asked to go on a mission. I did not say anything. I obeyed what I was directed to do. I turned around and walked back to the escalators. I took the one going down. I went back down to the same garden like place where I was almost robbed. My mission required me to go back in the tunnel I came out of earlier. I walked through the garden looking for the tunnel. It was getting darker and darker. I had to return back to that tunnel. I was on a mission. I had to find it. I was feeling nervous and worried as it was getting darker and I seemed unable to find the tunnel. I saw a woman sitting on a wooden bench like the benches in parks. Her back was to me. She was wearing a black lace dress and had long black hair. I could only see her back. Looking at her back, I asked her, “Excuse me, do you know where the tunnel is?” She said, “Follow that path.” She pointed with her finger to a pathway a few feet away. I listened to her and walked to the pathway. As I started to walk to the pathway, still close to the woman, I heard her say, “As if there is a tunnel.” She seemed evil and misleading. I sensed it. But I continued on the path she showed me. I thought I had no other alternative. Soon I realized I was going around in a circle. I realized I was intentionally misled by the woman. I stepped out of the circular pathway. I kept walking straight to my right. It was very dark then. I was extremely agitated and afraid. I saw something in front of me. It looked like a door to a place. It seemed like the door I exited in the beginning. But I could not trust my memory. I was too afraid to open the door to see if it was the tunnel. I was very afraid. I was so afraid I was shaking. Suddenly my handbag flipped and everything I had in it fell to the ground. I was looking around in fear of being attacked. If I squatted to pick up my things off of the ground, I could be attacked from behind. But I had to do it. Fearfully, I squatted to pick up my belongings. Suddenly I heard someone approaching. I was startled. I saw a white light approaching. I was still squatting. I looked up. I saw a beautiful man, wearing a white hat with rim, a white coat, white shirt, white tie, white pants and white socks and shoes. He was in all white and emanating glowing white light. He was so beautiful. I felt safe. I did not feel fear anymore. He asked, “Do you need help?” I said, “Yes.” He picked up all of my belongings off of the ground and put them in my handbag. He took off his hat and put it in my bag. I felt so unworthy of him. I wondered why he put his hat in my bag. I felt unworthy of the honoring gesture. He was out of this world. I had fallen in love. I asked him, “Do you know where the tunnel is?” He said, “Yes. It is right here. I am going the same way.” I had doubts about it being the door to the tunnel. We both walked in to the tunnel together.
The dream ended as I opened my eyes. It was the most vivid, live, and colorful dream I had ever experienced. It was full of details. I remembered it as if it had actually happened. I realized that I loved the man I met in the dream. I wished I would meet him. I did not yet know as I would later learn that he was Jesus. I did know, just as with other dreams, the dream had to do with God. I had a premonition the dream was about something that was going to happen.
I did not talk about the dream with anyone. Sometimes I thought about it and it seemed as if I actually lived that dream the day before. But I did not know what it meant or when it was going to happen.
In the six months that followed the dream I felt that I wanted to become a Christian. I heard about Baptism. I had no idea what it was about or how to receive the sacrament. One thing led to another and I found myself meeting with a Catholic priest. In our discussions, I spontaneously chose to tell him the dream, since I was not able to understand it myself. I thought maybe he would help me figure it out. He informed me that I had seen Jesus, the Lord, in my dream. It was then I understood the content and the purpose of my dream.
After going through a series of experiences during the year after my Baptism and my conversion to Christianity, Jesus made me realize he wanted me to write a book, and to include the dream where I first saw him as well as a poem (which you will read later). He wanted me to give them to humanity. He also asked me to let him use my life as an example, as one all humanity could identify with, in order to connect to itself.
One year had passed since I received Baptism. I had just come out of a nightmare that no child of God should suffer. Jesus practically moved in with me to protect me and to paint with me. He made me fully aware that he wanted to paint with me. We were growing ever closer to each other as we painted more and more.
I met a woman named Sarah who became a friend. She was a scientist. I was surprised how well we got along, though I am an artist. I learned about her life and she learned about mine. She insisted that I was “a prophet,” meant to deliver Jesus’ message. I really do not feel comfortable with the title prophet. I would rather call myself “an instrument.”
A couple of weeks after we met and went to mass together, Sarah suggested that I write a book. A few other people also suggested the idea. The idea was that Jesus wanted to use my paintings, my experience and the book to communicate with everyone. I was of course not brave about the idea. I was not a book writer. I told Sarah that I did not want to be in the spotlight and had privacy concerns. We decided that I would pray about it.
The next day Sarah left me a voice message sounding very excited. She said it was urgent. She said something happened that morning that was certainly a sign from Jesus telling me to write the book.
I called Sarah back. She explained that she was standing in line to buy a cup of coffee that morning when a man at the end of the line made aggressive gestures to her, as if he was trying to get her attention. She thought he was trying to hit on her. So she tried to ignore and avoid him. She bought her coffee and walked away. But the man ran out of the line. He ran to Sarah, introduced himself and asked her if she liked to read books as he handed her a card. He explained that he wrote a book that is out for sale. He asked her to check for his book online. He also explained to Sarah that the book was written under his alias not his real name. The book that the man wrote was about Christianity. I, of course, through this sign, learned that I would use an alias for the book. Jesus could not be clearer with his response to my previous evening’s prayer about the book. I realized Jesus wanted to write a book with me. But he also made it clear that he would be the author, not me.
But still the book did not start then. I had a lot more prayers and communications with Jesus. I did not feel I was fit for the task. Jesus coached me, comforted me and prepared me for months. I began to realize that Jesus did not just speak through the paintings he made with me. He was training me to work with him. Painting together made me ever more able to communicate and to interact with him.
I kept telling Jesus I was afraid, weak, unable, unqualified, so on and so forth. He told me I had all the qualifications and training. I told him I loved him and wanted to do his will, but I was too weak. I told him I did not want to talk about my life in the book. He told me the book was not about me and my life. He told me he would use some of my life to teach others. He told me that he wanted to use my experiences as a suffering human to be able to relate to and to talk to all of humanity. He said he wanted to help each and every human being.
I still did not begin to let him use me for the book. But we continued to paint together. He used paintings to help me to feel to know and to experience his ability to use me as his instrument.I realize that all the weaknesses and fears that I thought had disqualified me for the job, were in truth the exact qualifications he wanted. He wanted the child me to hold on to him, to hold his hand, to lean on him, to follow his footsteps, to repeat what he says and to trust his ability to use me as his instrument. I had to let go completely to him and his way.
Later in the book, you will see photos of the paintings Jesus and I made together. You will understand how I became prepared to serve as his instrument to write this book.