My God Comes to You
By: Yours Truly
Copyright 2011 by: Jay M Horne Smashwords Edition
Is god REALLY that omnipotent you ask? My GOD is. How do I know this? Because even when I thought it was me doing the searching, the grasping, the believing in, and the harnessing up of faith, did GOD come to me and say:
We are both excited. And I have been hurrying your way as well. I am with you. Even when you cannot find the strength to climb another rung to me, I am hurrying down the ladder to be with you. For I am not a wholesome, loving God unless I am willing to come down to your level and get you, because I Totally, in all aspects of My Name As God, LOVE YOU!
Sometimes I MUST show up sometimes, and these times will be the best times of our lives……About the Copyrighter
Jay M Horne has been involved in psychology, spiritualism, and ninjutsu over twenty five years- since his first experience with interconnectedness occurred at the age of 10. Born in Jackson, Mississippi on December 1st, 1980, he attended various schools of martial arts and kept himself constantly engulfed in the study of philosophy. Eventually founding Ninja International, a school where students can learn from their own experiences and guide them selves to a deeper understanding of the world around them. Many years involved in different cultures led Jay on a mission to seek the ultimate experience of enlightenment. In 2002 his quest came to a head when he met a guru who would share with him stories that unlocked mysteries that every man eventually asks himself.
To Write to the Author
If you wish to contact the author, please write to the author and we will gladly forward your request. Both the author and the publisher appreciate hearing from you and learning of how this book may have helped you in your own quest. We cannot guarantee that every letter can be answered, but all will be forwarded. Please write to:
Jay M Horne
3064 Walnut Lane
Marianna, FL 32446
Please enclose a self-addressed, stamped envelope or $1.00 to cover costs. If outside the U.S.A., enclose international postal reply coupon. Visit us on the web at:
http://www.jaymhorne.com
for Benand the God in us all.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The author would like to thank the following people for their important contributions to this work and study:
Douglas Monroe (21 Lessons of Merlyn); Neale Donald Walsh (Conversations with God); David Icke (Children of the Matrix); Google Image Search; Curly Moe and Larry; Anthony Norvell (Meta-Physics: New Dimensions of the Mind); David Lambert (Ultimate Dinosaur Book); Ben Livingston; Jillian,Justin,Dad and Mom; God; Waffle House; Sarah Damon; Aine Sturgeon; Itamar Eylon; Mircea Petre; Larry Spak; Margena Myrick; DJ Hogan; Corey Taylor; Shannon Oneill; Summer Grice; Carl Moss; Jeff Odum; Chris Stephens; Jacqueline Heath; Travis Snyder; Radar House; James; David Jenkins; Michael Rankin; Denika Smallwood
Also, personally, I would like to acknowledge the innate ability that everyone posses to assume the role as student or teacher, which ever best causes imbalance that produces growth at any given time in our lives. For it is in this growth that all things can be achieved. Above all, I would like to express a humble thanks for every tome of knowledge and their scribes that I have had the pleasure to engulf myself in on a constant basis, for without the knowledge of the past, we could never come to know the knowledge of the eternal present. Lastly, I must acknowledge the waters of the beginnings from which all things sprang and the readers whom are motivated enough to delve into the questions you will find along the way.
May truth be with you and conscious guide you.Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1: A Heart for Art
Chapter 2: Enlightenment
I: Karma Speaks
Chapter 3: Creation
II: Karma Returns
Chapter 4: The Shocker
III: Immortal Mensch
Chapter 5: We Were Reptiles
IV: Seeding the Gods
Chapter 6: Mastery of Three
V: Potential
Chapter 7: Shangri La
VI: Balance
Chapter 8: The Mission
VII: Knowledge from Nothing
Chapter 9: The Mission Ends
VIII: Sowing the Seeds of Truth
Chapter 10: Life is a Joke
IX: The Perfection of Life
Chapter 11: Time to Start a New Chapter
X: Release
Chapter 12: The Bitter Truth
XI: The Kiss Retold – Facing the Past
Chapter 13:Closing the Circle
XII: Selfish to Selfless
Chapter 14: Conclusion
Epilogue
Did you ever find it?
What you were looking for..?
As a child, this fire wells inside us, It tells us that we have something special
Did you ever find out what that was?
Or did you let it fadeI was only eight years old when I experienced my first unforgettable memory. I can recall it with ease. I perhaps, was an average kid, though I never really wanted to think myself so, doing not so average things. I would set a routine for myself each day to make sure I was moving toward my imaginative goals of becoming this or that. Climb the monkey bars, jump on the trampoline, study a book on plants and minerals, catch animals, and go running. A kid in action.
“Set your goals high.” My dad would say. “Write them down and lets look at them.” We would get together, as a family, and compare goals. My sister, a veterinarian, my brother, a pro tennis star, and then there was me, a doctor. What I wouldnt say is that, secretly, I could care less about being a doctor. I wanted to be a Ninja! Okay, go ahead laugh it out. Thats fine. What would you have done? I knew everyone would laugh at me. I knew no one would support me. How does anyone make money being a Ninja? I knew from the very beginning that I was all on my own!
Nothing was ever good enough for me. Every class I took, or job I tried always seemed to fall short of my expectations. With each change of tide I would look back at my meager achievements and say to myself, “Well, time to start a new chapter.” That was the funny thing about my life in general, everything always seemed to be occurring in distinct, well laid out chapters. As if I was living some playwrights script he had whipped up before my birth.
So, I know that every kid has their own share of problems, but undertaking the art of Ninjutsu at the age of eight, especially with the odds against you, was the single most important choice I was forced to make. That choice funneled the streams of energy in my life into a direct point of convergence. As I thought of everything I would have to practice, writing out each technique carefully on a pad of paper as not to forget anything, I came to an astonishing conclusion. I would, literally, have to teach myself how to do nearly everything in a certain way to achieve perfection. I found, therefore, a new definition to Ninjutsu. It was not only, how to perfect „fighting, but rather how to become a chameleon, how to imitate anyone and anything, and to blend into your surroundings. This art was going to require innumerable experiences of mind and body, solely for the purpose to be invisible or unnoticed at will. This undertaking was not going to be easy, it was going to be a lifelong process and perhaps, impossible all together.
Some will say that mastering yourself, or life, for that matter, is exceedingly impossible and should not be attempted. But, there are those who have made it their lifelong work to do so. Albert Einstein spent his entire life looking for a unifying theory of everything. Bruce Lee spent his time on Earth looking for the answer to perfect harmony. Jesus of Nazareth gave life long dedication to bringing world peace, as did Mother Teresa and many others.
And so, at a very young age Iset out on a journey…. A journey for The Perfection of Life.1.
The backpack was not too heavy, it was all the moving about it was doing that bugged me the most. “They really need to make these things better for running.” I said as I pulled the straps tight and wiped the sweat from my forehead. Up and kick, two steps up the wall and I was atop the brick in an instant. Balance was really nothing, I had been running this wall to the bus stop for nearly a year and without a fall at all. The brick and mortar stood firm as feet pittered and pattered its surface at length.
The bus let out a loud hiss, “PSSSSSh.” I retrieved my bag from where it lay and told myself I would finish practicing my kicks later. I climbed the steps onto the bus nodding to the slightly crazed driver who would inevitably, slam the brakes on and send a few of us flying during the ride to and from school.
Elementary school wasnt exactly as cool as the community dance, but it had its good side. That being Sarah Damon, a heartbreak in disguise. Her tresses were golden blonde, and her face, though not perfect in complexity, shined just enough to keep me mesmerized during P.E.
I am stolen away from my daydream by a deafening blow to the head., the big rubber ball makes a „boing sound a comedian would be proud of, “BOOOOOING!” I dont hesitate. I am running full speed, gaining on my assailant. The grass is wet with early morning dew, and the air is thick with tension. He takes a sharp right, I slip, sliding at lengthinto the fencing before regaining my feet. “You two boys, thats it!” Mrs. Maloney screams, putting out a dead stiff arm in front of me.
Time out is for the birds. I am sitting, staring across the court at that jerk who still deserves whats coming to him. In the end, I let it go. Something good would eventually come of that day though. My friend Marcus had hooked us up with a double date to the movie theatre that night. Sarah was his date and April mine. Sweaty palms doesnt begin to explain my nervousness. “Okay, so its all planned out.” Marcus told me, and then, “When I give you the signal were going for it.” I nodded. I knew this was supposed to be the moment. The first kiss every little boy waits for.
The theatre was dark. We all were crowded into the back row, you know, in the corner, trying to get some privacy. I will let the fact that I cant recall what movie it was we were there to see speak for itself. The bottom line is, yes, we got our first kiss from our date, but the kiss I got was nothing like I expected. It was, bad breath, coupled with uncomfort and awkwardness. I never asked Marcus about his experience because I noticed the eyes of his date, Sarah, connecting with mine ever so subtly. I began to get a hint. Perhaps she was here for the same reason I was, to see her, or me, whatever. Jealousy has started wars and ended eras. I knew this emotion was not for me, the moment I felt it. Seeing Sarah and Marcus together shouldnt feel like this, and I knew it! I had taken a wrong turn somewhere, made a wrong decision, felt a wrong thought, and I was going to fix it immediately! I walked straight up to her the next day in school and told her out right, “Look. I have no time for girlfriends. I have to train and thats all. Nothing else.” And with that I hopped on the bus headed for home, on the way learning a destructive way of tattooing myself with a straight pin. Later it would get me in deep, hot water.
The community dance was right around the corner. Despite my introvertedness of the previous week and my martial arts routines, I could not shake Sarah from my mind. I had heard since, that she had broken up with Marcus. Try as I might to forget the whole situation, I just had to know. I was going to that dance, no doubt about it.
People danced in the small building under disco balls, and changing lights, with the occasional smoke screen spraying in to the crowd and the all so familiar song „Everybody dance now blaring on the loud speakers. Jay sat silently in one of the chairs along the wall by the exit hoping not to get conned into another dance contest to cheesy music. Songs had played at length throughout the night, raffle prizes had been announced, and couples had danced their dance. Sarah on the other hand, had not. Sitting down beside him, she nudged him with an elbow, “So, you here to see anyone?” Jay turned a startled head to her and smiled, “You.” He said. Sarah smiles back as he continues, “I have been afraid to cross this dance floor all night long. I have seen you over there and I remember what I told you, about having no time for you. I am sorry, I was wrong.” She smiles and drops her gaze to the floor, “You want to dance?” he asks her. “There is only one song left.” She exclaims. He knows that will do and lifts her chin softly, leading her to the floor by the hand. In the next few moments their hearts beat as one. They tell one another how they have felt for each other and they forget the world. The song had stopped long before the headlights ofher dads truck flashed through the blinds of the building. They were still dancing, “Oh my gosh. Thats my dad. I cant stand him most of the time. I have to go, or hell kill me.” Sarah runs to the double doors and peers out the crack between them to confirm her fear. Jays heart is pounding, he is utterly immobilized by the feelings that have overcome him. He hardly notices her rushing back at him, and then they meet. Her lips and his joined in a beautiful dance of infinitely soundless music. When it is over he is standing there, alone. She had left.
It wasnt more than a couple of days before I was back at school with a new found joy. I was nothing less than hopelessly excited to see her again. So I waited, and waited, and waited. News would finally come from April that her father had sent her away to Indiana to live with her step parents. I cried. My sorrow wouldnt defeat me though. I wouldnt let it! I knew that I deserved what I got. I should never had chosen martial arts over her in the first place. This was the bed I made, so I would lay in it. From that day forth, I vowed to train, and train, and train, until I made up for my mistake.
It would be years, before I loved again.Ever feel like you can never get what you want? Well, join the club. You're problem is in wanting it. I do the same thing. As long as you are „wanting it, you're affirming to yourself (which is the universe) that you do not already posses that thing. Try telling yourself that you have WAY TOO MUCH of that thing already and acting like you want less of it (it works wonders:)
Ever wonder why girls want the bad boy? Because he's acting like the last thing on his mind is women. (Like he has too much of that already.) Or do you ever find it ironic that the only time you get opportunities to get a good chick you're already with one who isn't as good? Hmm...... think on it,“and in the next instant the energy went the only other way it could, straight up in a bolt of pure white light carrying my consciousness with it.
I felt like a shooting bolt of lightning would feel when a piece of itself branches out from the main charge and finds its way back.”“No.
The feeling I had at this point was the feeling of being „ that piece of branched off lightning looking back at itself, and wondering where to land on the main shaft, or perhaps not to land at all, and find some other point off in the distance, that may or may not exist in space and time.”
2.I came upon my experience suddenly. I never thought I would taste the sting of enlightenment so soon. As a teenager, I had played with the idea of controlling my energy, worked my eyes to try and pick up auras around people in dark rooms, and had done my share of reasoning death. One thing though, I knew for sure, was that Hell did not exist! Perhaps, this is what made my spiritual journey so easy to undertake. Anyone else in my day and those forthwith would no doubt fear damning by their God so to speak. I had no religious chains holding me down, only that one single solitary belief that Hell did not exist. I had reasoned as a child that if there were an opposite to Earth than it better be heaven, not hell. And there wasn't room for two opposites!
I remember I had attended a party at my sister's house, accompanied by my friend Ben. The company we were in and ourselves were sipping Mimosas. Music was blaring and everyone was having a blast.
I was doing my usual, hanging back and checking auras and trying to see if I couldn't fall into a creative environment. Then I remembered something my sister had told me months earlier. She had put her hand on my shoulder and said, "Jay, God told me to tell you that everything is going to be okay." At the time I didn't know what in the hell she was talking about. I figured she was probably high on Church or Acid, or both! But now, remembering her saying that sparked something inside of me. I felt this source of movement. I felt as if I had remembered a piece of the puzzle that she needed to understand God. I approached her with a smile, mimosa in hand, and while laying a left hand on her shoulder I said to her, "Jillian, If I could tell you what I know now you would be enlightened." She looked at me with a questionable grin.
At that moment it hit me like a ton of bricks. I know! I know what it means to be enlightened! I started to reel. I stumbled back against the counter and turned toward the dining room for some space. I would've lost it had I not been practicing my meditative breathing and Chakra channeling. I grabbed the reigns of my energy and focused on it. I could feel my energy moving and pulsing inside me. Realizing I was alone in the dining room, I grabbed the side of a glass end table for support and focus. I could see my reflection staring back at me the moment before it became too much to bare. The energy wanted loose and it wasn't taking no for an answer. All I could do was hang on for the ride.
You hear them say your life flashes before your eyes. That time slows down so you can contemplate the moment. Death, you would think that you would never see it coming, but you do. The problem is when you see it coming and you dont know what to do with it. For you, I will paint a picture of words as so you may better understand my reference to this experience.
To say that my body exploded outward would be an understatement. The Big Bang is what I have come to describe it as to myself. It actually felt as if the conglomeration of ME was being dispersed out and into the nothingness around me to create the conglomeration of everything else around me. My body felt as light as a feather. I could have drifted away with the wind. I had no mass. No weight. I was pure spirit.
As MY matter rushed outward, ever slowing as it grew in circumference I began to entertain a horrifying thought, "If it reaches the end of it's journey will it not be as a yo-yo and return to it's original host?!" This was and is the only logical explanation in the end. There is no where else for the energy to go! With my increasing fear came decreasing speed of the expansion, and inevitably an exponentially fast return inward of this energy. I say „exponentially fast because as the outward movement slowed, the inward return increased in speed as it became closer to me. If I say that it scared me I would be sinning the holiest of sins in so much as a child can explain the beauty of a rose petal. By the time that I had thought to myself, that I may be crushed by all this matter rushing back in on me, it had already happened. I blacked out momentarily. A split second later I was looking again at the glass end table......... and then I recalled what had happened. At this moment I would conceive that I could control the movement of this energy mass with pure focus based on my training. Focus rather than fear. Will rather than wane. In the moment you have been created and destroyed you know no choice but „total choice and the choice is made that instant. I immediately decided to not let the energy disperse outward again in fear of another retaliation, and in the next instant the energy went the only other way it could, straight up in a bolt of pure white light carrying my consciousness with it.
I felt like a shooting bolt of lightning would feel when a piece of itself branches out from the main charge and finds its way back.
No.
The feeling I had at this point was the feeling of being that piece of branched off
lightning looking back at itself, and wondering where to land on the main shaft, or perhaps not to land at all, and find some other point off in the distance, that may or may not exist in space and time.
What had been previously a solid white beam of light, had now taken on the form of a column of leaflets (for lack of a better word), each with an individual experience occurring on its surface as I watched them pass at an impossible speed. I could tell I was a piece of this pillar my self, but that I had no effect on it in any way. That was until I saw something on the column that sparked my attention.
A top a hill of green, holding his sword out as if to rally his men, stood a King one could only describe as Arthur of Camelot. The man was young, nearly in his twenties, much like myself. As I found myself directing my focus on him, the scene rushed up to engulf me. In a moment I felt the wind in my hair, and the weight of the crown on my brow. I stood high atop a hill looking out over townspeople in what could only be a European countryside in a time before Christ. The people moved together up the hill toward me with soft and loving looks assuming their faces, and I knew I was standing in King Arthurs shoes after he had united the people of opposing lands.
As the company approached I began to panic. “Do I know anyone here? What do I say when they begin asking me questions? Do I have amnesia?” Constant questions were going through my mind. I couldnt fathom what the repercussions may be if they caught me impersonating their King. My panicking became much more intense. I was looking for an escape when I remembered the column of light I had arrived from. That familiar feeling of energy wanting loose reassumed my mind and in an instant I was shooting back up out of my body once again.
This time I had an idea of what was going on as I watched infinite information and images flash before me in indescribably fast speed. Despite the speed in which all the images moved, I somehow knew what was occurring in each scene. The only way to word it is as if it was moving but it was all happening at once. I focused. I began looking for something I could recognize. At once I saw a familiar image of the house I had been in prior to my experience and the people at the party in the kitchen. The next instant I was there.
I remembered my last experience on the hill immediately upon assuming my old physical form and wasnt planning on forgetting my escape route again. My friends crowded around, obviously surprised at my apparent appearing right out of thin air. I struggled to find the words to explain all the while trying to keep my focus on this energy that would allow me escape. “Are you okay?” one of the guys asks. “Im fine.” I say shortly, but I am now asking myself the same question. I am losing my focus as I pay attention to the surrounding people. My sisterleans in and asks, “Your not going crazy are you?” and as I ask myself the question the scenery changes violently. Everyone is leaning in on me calling me crazy and I am about to lose control. I reach for someone in an uncontrollable deadly rage and as I realize I have killed someone I reel and my energy collapses on me hard.
Briefly I see flashing lights and struggle to take control of my energy spinning out of control, and as I remember the gruesome scene, I am dropped back into my body which is confined in a straight jacket and leaning against the door of a padded room. I am alone now and my fear of being stuck in this horrifying reality forces me to quickly turn my attention from the moment and focus on my fear of my uncontrollable energy. I focus and with a deafening scream toward the heavens my energy is rocketed away again up the beam of lightning. I could never have been happier to see it, considering all things. This time I knew what had to be done.
The images rolled by in an instant and this time I caught one of myself sitting alone on a sofa. This was it. It was the perfect opportunity. I let myself fall into the moment, and instantly I felt the soft cushion under me. I was back.
Grimoire I.
Karma Speaks
When I had my first run in wi th Karma he didnt resemble anything that I had expected. He was a bit frail, had a few snaggly teeth, and he kept to himself. It wouldnt be long until I found out first hand, that looks can be deceiving and, in turn, to never judge a book by its cover.
I began to see that chatting with Karma online was an excellent source of information for me after I realized why it was I could be so honest with him. He always seemed to have just as bad of luck as me, and laughed twice as much. Once I truly opened up to truth telling, which began with Karma years ago, it was like opening up the Pandoras box. I couldnt stop. If I signed in on-line and that flashing light didnt happen to be there, indicating that he was waiting for me, I would start without him. Through some form of way I would hear his answer to my questions as I typed them down. He would communicate through me in what a lot of people would call telepathy. The more I asked Karma, the more I began to realize that these responses where literally answe