Courting Jennifer
Nothing about my courtship with Jennifer was easy from starting it to completing it.
When Jen and I first met I was meeting with all my wives and the instant I caught her starring at us I knew that she had to be a part of our family, she had the saddest eyes I’d ever seen and more than anything else in the world I wanted to bring a smile back to these eyes.
But I knew that she was the one for us and before we courted we were friends all four of us because more than anybody else she needed to see that we were a normal loving family.
With Jennifer everything was slower more paced out because we had to think of her children as well. So for just one year we were nothing but friends we explored each other and we learned about each other in that year and in that year I learned something about her that I had to keep secret from my wives because she wasn’t ready to share it with them yet.
Jennifer had worked as an Adult Star to supplement her income and before your mind starts to wonder it was limited to just the phone and some people might say “how do you know she’s not lying?”
I know because she told me and remember what I said in the Chapter: Marriage, trust your partner. So if she was to say to me tomorrow that the sky is yellow and the grass purple I would believe her because I trust her.
So the second year of our courtship we dated, we did things that couples do together and it was during this year that we started going out as a unit so that she could see me as a husband and how she’d fit in with the family dynamic.
In the third year of our courtship we went out as a family at first it was just me, her and her kids we’d gone out on a few dates with them but now we introduced them to fact that I would be their new stepfather.
We also had dates were it was just Jennifer, the wives and them because they had to learn that they were going to have more than one mother now and we also had play dates at our house so that they could acclimatize to the area and the other children.
At the end of the third year and the beginning of the first year I asked for her hand but before I did I spoke to the children and made sure that they understood and where okay with the situation.
Once this was done Jennifer and I had to reveal our secret to my wives and when they heard this they refused to provide their blessing and on that day I’d never felt more ashamed of them. In fact when I think about it that was probably the only time I’d ever felt anything less than pride, love and joy where they were concerned.
There was a great row over my taking Jennifer as a fourth and at the end of it all I moved out because I could not believe that they were acting that way after all who were they to judge how Jennifer had lived before she came to us?
I didn’t judge them on what they’d done in the past so who were they?
I spent a month away from my wives, I saw my children on the weekends when the wives would leave the homestead and I’d come on but after a month they finally saw reason and granted their blessing and Jennifer joined our family.
The reason why I was against Jennifer joining the family was because of her past. For me it became an issue of not seeing past her past. From that day John told us her secret I just kept thinking of her having sex with strange men and I was ashamed of myself but at the same time I felt justified what kind of mother would expose her children to this and that was how I justified it to myself. I even convinced myself that that was the reason why her husband had abused her. So I turned to the Bible and to God and one thing kept resonating with me “judge not least ye be judged” so I found her and apologized to her because she was the one I’d wronged and then I apologized to John because I had doubted him and that was wrong of me.
It wasn’t her past that made me refuse, it was my own insecurities. When Lina joined the family I didn’t feel anything other than joy but when Jen was to join the family I was hit by this uncontrollable jealousy. Reflecting on it now I think that it was because I felt that she would be taking away from my time with him and I wasn’t willing to do that because there is so little of it. But then I remembered all that his done for us and all that his given up for us so how could I deny him this?
Now after all these years I am so glad that we initially opposed it because it made us appreciate her even more.
I personal didn’t have a problem with her because we are taught that a man is never wrong and the mere fact that he had asked our permission to marry her was a surprise to me. I would have said yes but since both my Sister Wives were against the idea I just went along with them.