“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen His glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.”
John 1:14
Oh mighty Lord, I praise You that the morning star,20 He who existed from the beginning,21 has risen in and upon my heart. Oh the unsearchable riches of Christ,22 the depths, beauties, richness of worth, oh so far beyond my comprehension is the infinite value of Your Son; and yet you have made Yourself to be known to me, although I was completely blind to see and dumb to understand, You have made my vision clear and my mind sharp to understand; that You are my greatest of needs. For in your grace, mercy and great love, You have taught me to trust You and recognize my eternal condition without You.
Prior to having You as my treasured joy and everlasting prince of peace, I was ignorant and dead, grasping firm the lies of Satan and steeped in my own narcissistic and deceptive heart.23 I believed, as all fallen men are born to think, that my nature was not that bad and that in some way, in some strength, or by some religious duties, I could be found favorable to attain some form of grand abyss when I die – what damnable foolishness was this prison of thought.
However, now having been granted new life, and the binding darkness of melancholy having melted away, after these beginning years of being sanctified and tried over and over, and after being taught Your Scriptures by the conviction and training of Your Holy Spirit, I see the utter folly of such thinking. However, I have not forgotten, nor do I ever want to forget, the reason such godless thinking exists. Lord, let me not forget and wander from You, or care not for my fellow man, or think I am more special than I am – may it never be.
Lord, I remember that this was not all revealed to me in the blink of an eye. I praise You mighty God for Your longsuffering and patient training of my mind to understand greater and greater realties of Your nature, character and eternal will for me, both for the present and for eternity future. Oh, to see, to taste and experience, the riches of Christ and to never forget Him as my greatest of needs. I can only imagine that if the thief on the cross had been left alive and brought down after recognizing Jesus, and if he were to have taught on the workings of grace, would they not have been limited? Yet because he was limited in knowledge, does this diminish his testimony or his salvation? Lord, not one bit would he have been lost or denied! For him to have had the understandings and workings of Your perfect balance, Your grace, Your calling to repentance, Your propitiation, justification and imputation, would it not have taken him years of study, reading and training – in both righteousness and sanctification? Surely, oh Lord, You know!
Lord, I pray that I will never forget how You have powerfully redeemed my soul and have patiently worked in me these last years. Oh that I would show patience towards those who have yet to experience and understand such freeing grace and freedom found in absolutely knowing that salvation is a work completely of You. Hallelujah, for You have shown me the foothills of such wonderful glory – oh, for what could I ever bring to You as a gift that you would exchange in pardon for my depraved nature, or what can I add to the unsearchable riches of Christ? Absolutely, ten thousand times over, nothing!
Lord, I also ask of You, never let me become lax or lazy, or sleepy and dull regarding the faith You have given me. I ask and pray that You would continue to grant me a growing desire to both walk with You, knowing You24 in greater measure, and to be laboring to do Your good works that You have prepared for me to do; and not this alone, but to strive to work out my salvation with fear and trembling,25 making my calling sure,26 and to plow up my fallow ground.27 Oh Lord, give me such balance so that I am not found tipping the scales – on the one hand full of zeal without knowledge whereby I am boasting in my works, nor let me be found the other side neither, full of knowledge and rote words with no conviction, loveless and without joy, nor failing to do the works of righteousness, true religion and obedience. Lord, may it never be. Let me never treat You by mere thought and mental ascent, but grow me ever more that I might be diligent, resolved and joyous to carry out Your will – produce the fruits of Your Spirit, to love, seek to be holy and help to fulfill the great commission. What joy indeed!
Over these last years since Your merciful hand rescued my very life, I still find I must ask myself, and often others that I meet, these questions: Do I in truth, deep down and honest, even have a desire to really know and follow You? Or am I fooling myself being taken up with rote language and happy in mere discussion about You? Have I fallen into meaningless actions of the flesh alone, such as being morally-good and making attendance at some building once per week, whereby I am satisfying some curiosities and religious carnality rather than truly desiring You? Am I really desirous to walk with You? Or do the cares of this world and its system guide my paths? Furthermore, do I even care, or dare, to ask such questions? For more than I would like, or would like to admit, I find myself in the routines and toils of the day, dull, dry and doing the very things I wish I would not, for the good I wish to do, I do not do.28
Lord, I find that too often, like one who should be past the milk, I must yet again come to the awareness of the truth of my inner heart and come to the truth of these questions. If I cannot here admit my state, I find that everything else in due time falls. For if I am not building upon The Foundational Cornerstone, the collapse into sin is inevitable. And although Your grace abounds, should I let sin continue to sink me, should I continue in life turning a blind eye with no resolve, lacking the daily desire to grow in You? – NO, never! Let me not take my sin lightly, nor be found using grace as an excuse for my personal disobedience, nor let me be found wondering and aimless in spirit, but oh Lord show me to continue building, with great desire and resolve, upon Christ Jesus.
Having said this, I then find I have only three choices in my response to the questions above: First, I can forget these altogether, however for the Christian this is not at all wise. Second, I can admit I am not really desiring to know You. Or third, I can admit I do indeed desire to know You and am dry and in need. If my response is like the second, and much like the first, I am greatly in need of being awakened to the truth in hearing clearly my condition and in understanding the consequences should I answer unwise. For I can respond here in either choosing to turn away from You (never let it be), or I can turn to You and ask You for such desire, a desire with which to begin, a desire to know You. As with the third response, it is the same, to again seek You and Your wisdom in asking You for an ever-increasing desire to walk intimately with You. Lord, You know my thoughts and my true answers.
Oh Lord, that you would work in me to will and to work for your good pleasure,29 that I might continue to walk near You, with my sights set and mind resolved that You indeed are my greatest of needs – and this not in mere words or thoughts, but in truth and reality, both in the temporal and the eternal life to come. Why would carnal men not get angry at the sound of Your Son’s name? Why would they not curse by His name? They make for themselves great enmity against You as they walk in their pride and ignorance, denying and cursing You, their Creator, the one true God. The course of fallen men grievously opposes You, I having been just as bad as the very worst kind, have also taken pleasure in the flesh, denying Your truths, denying Your very Son – may I never be found in such a drastic state again! Oh praise Your holy name, for although I was but lost, now I am found!30 For just as the Apostle Paul has said, “The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.”31
For You have “bestowed on Him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to” Your glory.32 For by You, Jesus is the Cornerstone “and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given men by which we must be saved.”33 For even in men’s rebellion, denial and perverse usage of Your great name they give testimony to Your reality, truth and sovereign rule even though they remain blind, dead, unrepentant and under Your wrath.34 Awake them, oh Lord, just as You have me, awake them to the truths of Christ and His pardoning propitiation and sacrificial agape.
And as for the one, Lord, faking true faith, awake this one as well, for the sake of Your dear Son, for Jesus Himself is never enough to those who profess and are yet ignorant of regeneration. But as for me, knowing You and Jesus Christ whom You have sent, is indeed eternal life.35 Lord help me to continue to advance, walking the narrow and joy-filled path, that I may never boast in myself, my work, my status, my situation in life, but that my boast would be in knowing You36 and that I may rejoice that my name is written in heaven.37 God, Your “kingdom does not consist in words but in power.”38 As You know Lord, I was “dwelling in darkness” and I have “seen a great light.”39
Oh Lord my God, You are light40 and You promise that whoever follows Your Son does not walk in darkness.41 You have granted to me “all things that pertains to life and godliness,”42 so teach me how to use and to walk in that which you have given me. Grow me Lord in true lasting personal piety, that I would treasure You and Your perfectly balanced scales, Your working and Your character. Amen.