One Man's Walk with God: Preparing for Trials and Fears by Jeremy B Strang - HTML preview

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Chapter Eleven

When in Darkness – My Hope Is in You

 

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“Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the voice of his servant? Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God.”

Isaiah 50:10

 

Father, You have been so very good and patient towards me, so much more than anyone could ever know or imagine. You know my struggles, my battles, and my weaknesses, and yet You have such patience and such tender care. Oh, how great is Your love and faithfulness! You hear me Lord, for truly You are a friend who sticks closer than a brother.281

Lord, You know what darkness has taken captive my mind in the days prior to Your grace, prior to me becoming altogether new in heart, and although the days ahead of me are all numbered,282 days in this body that walks the earth and still dark days yet to witness, I praise You that You have being continually teaching me that I must look to You above all else. For I must seek You and know You more so that I would always, especially in times of trials and fears, make You my sure trust. My lack, oh Lord, is always and only because of me and not You; for You do not change283 but I am the one prone to wander, prone to leave the God I love.284 And when I feel a lack of sorts, a coldness or dryness of heart, or even a sort of deadness in my desires and emotions to set my face towards You – but You oh God! You again revive me demonstrating Your perfect love, divine grace and unfailing mercies.285 You answer my cry when I pray: “Help me and give me a desire, a clean desire, a desire to know You, to read Your word, to be godly and sanctified, to continue and to stand with You.” You are so very wonderful!

Lord, I have often been reminded of Lot and where it says in Your word:

“…and if He rescued righteous Lot, greatly distressed by the sensual conduct of the wicked (for as that righteous man lived among them day after day, he was tormenting his righteous soul over their lawless deeds that he saw and heard); then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials…”286

I have often felt something like Lot, my soul ripped up over seeing the rampant wickedness in our land and over my own carelessness and lack of true desire for You. Although I find it hard to think of myself as being righteous, I know that through the Lord Jesus Christ alone, by His grace, sacrificial love and atoning propitiation, I too am right with You.287 And though I can rejoice in this and be ever so thankful, however, I know I cannot be thankful for my right standing alone, for You are the hero in this story above and You are the singular One to whom all thanksgiving is due; it’s You who knows how to rescue the godly from temptations, therefore it’s You where I must keep my gaze directed.

Lord, I am so thankful for Your word, Your truth and Your witness to the Truth. I am thankful that You reveal Your character, Your great love and focus on Your dear Son Jesus, and that in and by Your Spirit, You teach me to understand and convict me to apply Your inspired truths. I know that darkness lurks all around, and I know there are seasons and reasons to walk through the trials and great difficulties of this present darkness,288 and I praise You how You are teaching me to trust in Your name and rely upon You.

But the LORD GOD helps me; therefore I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.

“He who vindicates me is near. Who will contend with me? Let us stand up together. Who is my adversary? Let him come near to me.

Behold, the LORD GOD helps me; who will declare me guilty? Behold, all of them will wear out like a garment; the moth will eat them up.

“Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the voice of his servant? Let him who walks in darkness and has no light trust in the name of the LORD and rely on his God.

“Behold, all you who kindle a fire, who equip yourselves with burning torches! Walk by the light of your fire, and by the torches that you have kindled! This you have from My hand: you shall lie down in torment.”289

Oh Lord, may I never try to light my own way and with my own source. Oh, my Lord, may I only look to You alone and increase my reverence and my desire to walk with You amid the darkness of the present day. It is in the darkness of my trials and fears, my difficulties and sufferings, in my desert valleys and dark caves, that I must remember those who walked before me and respond:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who suffered from sinners such hostility against Himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. In your struggles against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding you blood.”290

Lord, I never want to be tired of Your word; I never want to be too quick to pass by and move on; let me dwell here forever and ever as You know and see fit for me. There are just so many truths, so much help, so much victory and so much depth in Your word above.

So when all ‘hell’ seems to be breaking out around me, help me Lord to remember, this is not the final hell that awaits the wicked, those who refuse to bow the knee, refuse to acknowledge You now and turn to You. Oh Lord, oh Lord please, save their souls, please Lord, continue and extend Your redemption for those wayward of You. For Lord, You do not desire any should perish.291 Break my heart for what breaks Yours.292 Help me to remember Your words of hope as well, for even when my own heart seeks to condemn me, You are greater!293 Remind me to ask and be reminded:

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God.”294

And…

The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?295

Lord, for You are the God of my salvation, my true rock, my refuge, my stronghold, and if indeed this is my reality and my position, then how can I not trust You?

And Lord, let me not be deceived as to the times and season whereby in Your providence I find myself living. Let me be alert, prepared and armed for the true spiritual battle, for then I will not fall prey to Satan’s cunning nor his heated demands to back down, bow and be devoured. Help me to hear and see clearly Your words of preparation so that fear would not overwhelm my heart and overtake my abilities to see clearly the narrow way. May I never trust in the arm of the flesh and strength of my own hand. How blessed is Your inspired word, through the Apostle’s letter addressed to all those in Rome who are loved by God and called to be saints, does He here not address my need in this hour?

Besides this you know the time, that the hour has come for you to wake from sleep. For salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed. The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provisions for the flesh, to gratify its desires.”296

Lord, what shall I deduce from this? Shall I not heed now, today, this very hour? Oh, help me to see and to realize the significance, oh Lord. So let me never forget:

  1. You have made the time known to me throughout Your Scriptures
  2. The hour, the very time I come to awareness of this truth, that I must wake from spiritual sleep – from being lax and lazy, from being ignorant and prayerless, from allowing too much of the world to infiltrate and saturate.
  3. I first truly believed twenty years ago and now I am closer than when I first believed; not only this, but I am among the closest generation of people ever since the church was born.
  4. Time for sleep has left, the time to be alert, diligent and armed is at hand.
  5. I must cast off the works of darkness and the sin which so easily entangles (Hebrews 12:1).
  6. I must put on the armor of light, that being the truth and the very person of Christ Jesus Himself.
  7. I must walk as one walking in the daytime, easily seen, realizing You see everything my God and nothing is hidden from Your sight (Hebrews 4:13).
  8. All the sexual sins must be mortified, along with the quarreling (thus even the online arguing and feeling the necessity to have to give an opinion at every turn) and jealousy and covenanting anything and everything and everyone.
  9. Again, I must put on the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, the light which came into the world (John 3:19), for the light exposes all.
  10. I must not make provisions for the flesh, so that I would not fulfill such desires and thereby walk contrary to You.

Oh Lord, make these things to be etched into my mind, tattooed on my heart and burned into my daily life, the very moment by moment time, that I might be alert, aware and responding with sound wisdom. Lord, for if I am living in such a way, not in perfection, but with a burning desire to walk uprightly, how then does fear even have a chance to distract me away from You? However, I must ask myself, do I really, deep down, desire such a walk? Oh Lord, You know. Yes Lord, only You really know. Show me, guide me and let me see the truth of myself and the truth of what I say – for I have got to know. You are faithful and thus I know You will do what is for my eternal best.

Father, when fear does creep in, and I have not been alert, at the ready, having been fully armed, please remind me of Your truths that I would be healed and restored once again. For even if Satan should demand to sift me like wheat, I know that the precious Lord Jesus has interceded for me and granted me an unfailing faith.297