One night while at a prayer meeting, I spotted a beautiful girl, who had arrived there with my best friend Matthew’s sister, Joanna. So, I shot over to Jo and said, “Who? On earth is that?” She warned me by saying, “No, no, stay away from my friend, her name is Angie.”
She was angelic just like her name suggested, so of course I totally ignored Joanna’s warning and went right in for the catch. Being her first time at prayer meeting at Glenridge, she didn’t know many people, so I went right up to her and before I had even introduced myself, I asked if she was married. Much to my delight she said she wasn't married, so I knew it was safe ground, seen as so many of the young girls in the church were either engaged or recently married. I suggested we go for a coffee first otherwise people might think it a little odd. That was the end of it until about two weeks later when I managed to get her number and invite her out on our first official date. We met and talked for over an hour. That same night I invited her to a movie and she agreed. We went with a big group of friends from church and had a wonderful time. And so from that day on we started dating for around three months. It was an incredibly intense, frustrating time, which was totally unexpected as we had started off so well. I feared making a mistake and was still carrying the issues of my divorce, and she was also working through some of her own insecurities. After three months, we broke up. It was weird for us because we had fallen in love. But I just couldn’t suffer the pain of divorce again, so I was overly analytical of any issues she had, and ran away as fast as I could. From her side she really believed that I was the one that she was going to marry but felt that God needed to work on both of us first. She released me knowing that if God’s will was for us to be married then nothing would stop that.
Derek and Leanne Andrews, who were counselling us, had confronted me about possibly having a fear of failure. Derek had told me of a dream he had before he had even met Angie or even seen her for that matter, that he felt she was the one for me, which despite my deep desire to get married, scared me quite a bit. This sent me running in the opposite direction. But as God always kindly does, He didn’t let me get far without getting me to face my fear and make some good choices.
Angie had grown up in Kloof in the same house all her life. She was born into a loving, kind, family with wonderful Christian parents who loved and guided her through life and supported her in everything she did.
She is strikingly beautiful, yet extremely modest and humble. She excelled at both primary and senior school and received the good fellowship award at her junior school and the headmaster’s award at both her senior and high school, where she was also head prefect, fulfilling many leadership rolls.
A natural leader with a good head on her shoulders, after achieving a Grade 12 with exemption she studied and practiced dietetics for many years. Apart from the odd naughty childhood mishaps here and there, a true princess in every way. The type you would expect to end up marrying a pilot, a doctor or something of the sort. She still says that she was one of those girls who didn't even send a library book back late. Angie grew up in the church, her parents sent her to Sunday school from a young age of 4 or 5. Her parents became very involved in church and her father was even involved in training pastors up in some of the coastal rural areas. They were a very generous couple with their time and finances. Angie got saved at a young age (probably around the age of 10, but she is not sure of the exact age) and was baptised around the age of 12 or 13.
Angie has a rare thing called a gentle and a quiet Spirit which God says is of great worth in His eyes.
When we broke up I tried staying as far away from Angie as I could. We didn’t even talk, let alone look at each other. Angie told my roommate and her home group leader at the time that she wasn’t going to give up but trust God that if we were meant to be together then God would make sure we got back together.
As far as I was concerned, I was starting a new season in my life. After a few months I had met a girl overseas while at a New Covenant Ministries leadership training time in the United Kingdom. I wasn’t meant to be there in the first place, because I wasn’t in the right place emotionally or financially. Anyway, it seemed like a good idea to pursue her over the phone and by email until eventually we met up in Zimbabwe for another church leadership training course with the churches.
I knew that after the Zimbabwe leadership time she was going back to the UK, and that I wouldn’t be seeing her for a while. I wanted her to know how serious I was and so I proposed to her. I was staying with my half brother John at the time in Pretoria. we had stayed in contact and been closer than the other siblings. She wasn’t sure but said “Yes” anyway and flew back to the UK, I guess we both just got wrapped up in the moment of it all. I am sure she was actually quite shocked.
All our close friends thought we had made a mistake and should rather call off the engagement and just build more of a friendship and progress from there, but once again I thought I had found the right girl.
On returning from Zimbabwe, my flat mate at the time picked me up and we somehow ended up at a coffee shop. Only to find out it was Angie’s birthday party, and of course everyone there started talking about me getting engaged, a terrible way to crash a party.
What I didn’t know was that during the year we were apart, Angie was calling out to God to give her another chance with me. She had moved to a small town to do her community service as a dietician in a rural township hospital. It was a great time for her. God did an incredible work in her heart during that period. She grew so much as a person and was clearly more secure in herself and her position as a child of God. The news of my engagement was the end of the road for her; she released me from her prayers and took it that God had decided that I belonged to another. For her it must have been like God closed the door on that year of her life. Her birthday symbolized the start of a new season, a season without me in it. About a month or so before her birthday and my engagement announcement Angie had had a dream one night and in that dream she had seen me engaged to someone else and so when I announced it at her birthday event, she was sad but not surprised. God had actually prepared her heart for what she was going to hear.
I then chatted to Stan Phipps in whose Bible study group I had been in, (he is an elder at Glenridge and married to the most amazing lady named Heather). Stan and Heather have always provided a safe environment for me, a place where I feel accepted, loved and secure and very well supported. They also never told me what to do but always asked the right questions at the right time. Although I was there to discuss the girl in the UK, his first question was, “What about Angie?” I was speechless; Angie and I hadn’t spoken in over a year, what a strange question to ask me I thought! I just shrugged it off and got back to the present subject. I asked Stan what he would do in my situation and he said very clearly that if it was him he would gently call off the engagement and spend time as friends, getting to know each other better, without any pressure of marriage. Stan is a wise and prophetic man and I have always appreciated and respected his words especially because he never ever tried to control me but rather helped me to make my own choices.
I followed his prompting, especially after getting the exact same reply from Nick, her elder and Bible study leader in London. But in true survivor fashion, I resigned from my job, sold my car and shot over to the United Kingdom to spend time getting to know her. I was known to be impulsive, something that has given me the ability to make quick decisions but has also wreaked havoc in my life. A good scripture that helped me overcome this flaw was Proverbs 16:32: “Better a patient man than a warrior.”
My plan was to spend as long as I could there, perhaps even a few months. Again, I learnt that God had other plans than the plans I had.
Upon my arrival at Heathrow Airport the passport officials questioned the two passports I had in my possession (I had one about to expire and was carrying my new one too), and they also picked up that I had applied for a fiancé’s visa a few weeks earlier. So, they only granted me a two-week stay in the UK.
I was shocked that my well-planned future had been smashed in front of my eyes. I mean, being kicked out of a country really changes things. From the time I arrived, I knew it wasn’t where I was meant to be, but I didn’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure that one out, now did I? I wasn't too stressed, I had a feeling everything would work out.
I was scheduled to head over to Canada for a week, as my friend Matthew was getting married there. So, my girlfriend and I went off together and after spending some time with her I could clearly see that this was not the girl that God had for me and He was making it very clear. She could sense it too.
I started to pray at one of the beautiful Canadian lakes I found myself at, and this time I asked God what to do. To my surprise I began to think about Angie; she stayed on my heart for about three days. This puzzled me, so I mentioned it to my friend Nicholas, and asked if I should contact her by email? I thought perhaps she was in trouble or something.
Knowing how fragile the situation was, he advised me not to. That’s probably why I nicknamed him “The Bear”, because he was so wise. After all, Angie and I hadn’t spoken in over a year.
I again went to a lake to pray, I said “God, I can’t do this, it’s too big for me, trying to find a wife is so hard”. I remember Him saying to me clearly, you are a survivor not a son, you don’t trust me. I was offended, and tried to argue, he showed me some of my decisions and the way I was behaving, and finally he said, “do you know, that not once have you thought to ask me, who I think you should marry.” I realized I had lived out my short Christian life, not as a son, but as a survivor! This revelation of sonship would radically change my walk with God.
After spending an awkward week in Canada we headed back to London, where I stayed with this young lady’s elders, Nick and Amber. They were gracious to me and said I needed to really hear from God before making any decisions. After a week I returned to South Africa and we decided mutually at that stage to leave our relationship at just being friends.
Now, having deserted my Durban life and job with the assumption that I would be moving over to the UK for a while, I landed back in South Africa with no job and no car. Fortunately, I managed to get my old residence back, which was a room in my friend Juan’s house.
So, there I was, back in Durban, confused yet eager to see what God had ahead for me, seen as He so clearly wanted me back here.
The Sunday after I arrived back from the UK I went to church and Stan was standing there greeting people at the entrance. He asked me what had happened, so I explained our decision to be friends until we heard from God. His face lit up as he smiled. That night at church I just happened to bump into
Angie at the book stand with her mom and dad. I was so glad to see her and asked if everything was okay. She replied with a genuine “I am fine thanks”. I am quite sure she was wondering why on earth I was speaking to her and her parents. She later told me that she thought I had come to ask her to be a bridesmaid or for her to play some part in my wedding with the other girl. Could you imagine putting her in such a position, especially as she’d been praying for a year that I would come back to her and then closed the door after my announcement?
I should have started looking for a job that first week but decided instead to seek God’s answers to my questions, seen as my way was definitely not working. So I went to a church leadership training time in Bloemfontein.
Miraculously, I managed to get into a fully-booked leadership time, having signed up late. I was placed away from the people I knew and ended up in a sleeping facility with strangers. It was great because all I did was pray and ask God who he intended for me to marry. I opened my Bible to the story of Isaac and Rebekah (Genesis 24). The servant had to go and find a wife for Isaac. He pleaded with God that whichever girl came and refreshed his camels would be the one who was chosen. I said out aloud to God: “That’s it, that’s how I can be sure. Only you and I know about this – the girl who refreshes me and my friends will be the one you have chosen.”
Let me just say we shouldn’t always ask God for signs, but there are times when you are really struggling to hear His voice, and this was such a time for me, and so I needed to know for sure. Also, my previous track record of making my own decisions was certainly not something to go by, so I wanted something true, something from my Father in heaven who loves me.
I couldn’t believe how it all panned out because it was Monday when I spoke to God about it. On the Wednesday evening, the guys had all made arrangements to go watch a movie together. Matthew and his new bride Jacqueline were there but still in honeymoon mode. At the last minute he pulled out, saying they were going to rest. It was a fairly warm evening and we were all finishing dinner in the food hall at the local residence, the residence that I wasn’t actually a part of, but that I found myself frequently dining at, as you can imagine. Need I mention that Angie and all her friends happened to be staying there? By now she must have started getting a bit suspicious about my sudden presence.
Feeling bad about not joining in for the movie, Matt insisted we have a quick cup of coffee before I left. Reluctantly, three of us eager movie-watchers headed to the hot drinks table. We poured ourselves coffee and tea, only to find that the milk jugs were empty. As we were about to put our coffee mugs down (none of us cared for coffee without milk) to head out for our movie, Angie came out of nowhere with a jug in her hand and without saying a word to any of us, poured milk into each of our mugs.
After filling our mugs, as quickly as she’d arrived, she disappeared again. I sat down absolutely stunned, I couldn’t believe what I had just seen and experienced. Matt was not a huge fan of Angie from the first time we dated, because he was so protective of me, and of course being my best friend always sided with me when Angie and I had our issues. He noticed my change in colour and asked me what was wrong. I said he wouldn’t believe me if I told him. “Try me”, he said. So I told him what I had prayed for, and obviously he had been there when Angie served us and he had seen exactly what had happened. I told him how I believed now that Angie was the one God had chosen for me.
Astonishingly he agreed, in his heart he now believed that! How amazing because for him to agree immediately without even hesitating was even further confirmation for me.
That night I had a dream that I was discussing things with Angie’s mom and dad and apologising for hurting their daughter when we broke up. The next day was Thursday and I got a call from an employment agency saying they needed me in Durban on the Friday for a job interview and so I travelled back with Matt and Jaqueline on the Thursday and went in for the interview on the Friday.
I got the job, which came with a company car. I was back where God wanted me, and it felt amazing! God had sorted out everything for me, he had given me a job, a car and now I believed he had shown me who my wife should be. I was ready and completely at peace about it, which also amazed me since I was not familiar with such a feeling when relating to this area of my life.
Now all I needed to do was see if Angie believed the same thing that I now did. She appeared to have moved on, which I later understood as her way of moving forward from a door she believed God had closed. I knew there were a few men who were interested in her. In my opinion these men were better and came with far more to offer than me. God just gave her my heart; I knew this because every time I saw her I felt weak at the knees.
Whenever we spoke my heart would go crazy and so I mustered up some courage and phoned her and asked if we could meet for a coffee. She sounded puzzled but agreed. Once we were seated I asked her if we could be friends and said I really wanted to get to know her again. She was sceptical; I couldn’t blame her, with my track record. I remember asking her if she had prayed for me, and she never answered. That was the only way I could explain how I could be sitting in front of her totally in love.
I spent the next eight months taking her for occasional coffees or chatting to her at barbecues. I pursued her hard and cried many tears thinking she would never give me a chance again. Our friendship was going well, but she always held me at a distance and I feared that friends was all we would ever be. But again, as I later found out, she really just wanted to be sure that I wasn’t going through some phase and that I had really heard from God. Even though I was up and down in the beginning, I expected her to feel the same excitement I had felt, and to simply fall into my arms. After all, I believed that God had spoken, and He had. But she was steadfast in what she felt needed to be revealed and wasn’t easily swayed. I even had the famous cricket player Shaun Pollock write a note to her saying, “To the greatest bat-woman ever, signed SP”.
After many months I was losing hope, I had gone to a deacon’s camp for the weekend and had said to God: “Is this ever going to go any further?” Little did I know that before the camp Angie had spoken to Stan and told him that the love she once felt for me had always been there and she felt she was ready and felt it right to move forward with a new relationship with me. He advised her not to tell me till after the weekend, as it would obviously have been a distraction for me on this very important leadership weekend.
On my return from camp that Sunday afternoon she sat me down and said that we needed to talk. My heart sank, as I had heard those words before, and what normally followed was, “It’s great that we are friends again, but I just want you to know that it will never be anything more”. I thought this was because she had thought it was over when I had committed myself to another and just believed that I would get over the feelings I had for her and move on with my life. She had clearly not yet heard about her role as Rebecca in the story of Isaac and Rebecca.
I thought, “Here we go again, the never anything more speech”. I was shocked when she said the exact opposite. She said that she had feelings for me!! I was speechless, what a change after all these months. God is always faithful and heard my cries.
We began dating and what a thrill just to hold her hand. It was like electricity going through my body every time. She explained to me how she had been praying for the right time and how she prayed that God would change the hearts of her friends that were against us getting back together. Slowly she had watched without saying a word, how family and friends stepped forward in agreement with her decision to give us another chance. In fact, she found that people had started encouraging her to do so. This time around we had loads of fun as a couple and spent a lot of time playing tennis and outdoors sports, going to barbecues and spending time with our close friends Tarryn and Nick who stood by both of us individually in our separation period as well as together as couples.
After about 6 months of building our friendship and foundations again, her father Charles unexpectedly passed away. He was a God-fearing man. Even though I had been the one who broke his daughter’s heart, he never sat me down for “the chat”. You know the chat we always envisage having with men dating our daughters; it goes something like this, “if you ever hurt my daughter, I am going to break both your knees”. He and his lovely wife Linda and daughter Shannon lovingly welcomed me into their home with no grudges or long stares, but with love and laughter. I respected him and used to ask his advice on business, as he had a great mind, with incredible wisdom. He was known and will always be known for his incredible generosity and has passed that amazing gift onto Linda who never stops giving of her time and finances to others.
When I got the call at 3 in the morning from Angie saying her dad had died I was shocked. He’d had a sudden heart attack. The family was all there to witness his last dying breaths, and even tried to save him, a traumatic time. When I arrived after praying with my flat mate Roberto, it was around 4 a.m. and they had covered him with a sheet in his bedroom and left the air-conditioner on.
The paramedics had decided to leave him there until the coroner arrived. Elders and friends arrived from their church and asked if they could pray and I joined them. Walking into that room seeing him lying there as if asleep was eerie.
We laid hands on him and asked God to bring him back to us, but not our will but His will be done. We accepted that it was God’s will to take him and His sovereign choice. As they all left the room to go and comfort the family I remained behind and shut the door. I stood there and placed my hand on his foot, I said, “Mr Hall I would like to marry your daughter.” I knew he couldn’t answer or possibly even hear me, but it was going to be the only chance I would get to ask his daughter’s hand in marriage and wanted to honour him as well.
On 28 October 2005 Angie and her sister, Shan, paid their tributes to their father at his memorial service at Hillcrest Christian Fellowship (now CityHill). It was a very difficult time for the family. I know that God planned it that I was there with Angie in that season, because I had been through my dad and my brother Eric’s deaths, I was able to comfort the family, serve them in their time of need, pray with and for them, and point them directly to the Word of God that brings comfort in these times. Shannons fiance’ Andrew moved into their home to make sure they were safe and secure, he too was very close to Charles and loved him dearly. We all felt the massive loss of this larger than life man not being in the home and in our lives.
On 31 December 2005 Angie’s mom Linda and I plotted a surprise engagement during the new year fireworks. I had wanted to ask her earlier but knew that it was not the right timing, having lost her dad so suddenly. That night, beneath the stars and the fireworks, as the clock struck 2006, I got down on one knee and asked my dream girl, the girl that God had given me, to be my wife. It was perfect, the ring, the moment and the answer that bounced so easily from her lips. She agreed to be my wife. She was thrilled that I had involved her mom in the surprise as she knew what a sensitive thing it would have been for her mom not having her husband to celebrate with. I proposed at her home, the home that she grew up in, that overlooked the entire city and coastline of Durban, it was spectacular.
We had a ten-month engagement, which was the required time needed for her to work through the loss of her dad and plan a wedding, although working through a loss can take a lifetime. Our relationship was the complete opposite of our first three months of dating. We had fun together, we laughed together, cried and mourned together. The bond we formed then I knew would secure and cement our future marriage together.
On the same day as Angie’s father’s memorial service one year later at the same church, we got married. As she came walking past the windows of that same church, all I saw was her silhouette, and I began to weep. For two days before our wedding day I was weeping, overwhelmed at the journey God had brought me on, and how faithful He is to me.
How great is our God to show such kindness and mercy to a wretch like me. He gave a pure and spotless princess, surely one of His best, to a man like me. I was humbled and grateful and filled with joy. This was the life He had planned for me. Everyone was overjoyed to see us make a covenant before God, family and friends. Stan and Heather Phipps made it special and official. It was a perfect day, a perfect beginning to a beautiful marriage. Even the weather was in our favour, cloudy and cool. God had seen to it that He met our every desire. We celebrated with family and friends at the Kloof Country Club, which we chose because it was Angie’s mom and dad’s golf club and her mom had scored a hole in one there.
Angie’s mom blessed us with an incredible wedding and honeymoon in Cape Town, which we knew her father had also had a huge role to play in. Although we knew he would have loved to have walked his daughters down the aisle, Linda was privileged to walk her daughter Shannon at the beginning of September and my Angie at the end of October. No doubt Charles would have been so proud of his wife.
That day began a beautiful journey, a journey of love and friendship and of God’s purpose and plan for our lives as a couple. God has blessed us so much, and we have a deeper love for each other today than we did on our wedding day.
We have had the privilege of sharing our story at schools, churches and business meetings and get excited every time about what God has done for us.