The kids arrive
Gabriella and Eli have brought us tremendous joy but parenting has been extremely difficult in that Angie and I have very different parenting styles. With my upbringing I prefer to make sure that our children are very protected and don’t like them even to stub their toe. Angie is a lot more liberal and less over protective. It’s a good reminder to us that we need to keep seeking Gods guidance and He is the best parent.
Angie and I had, as do most couples, a long term plan for kids, which, like most, quickly changed after two years. We decided to start trying to fall pregnant, but after many months, we realized there was a problem. God had miraculously healed her of a bone growth in her finger, eczema as well as some stomach and back issues and so when she went to the doctor to try find out what the problems were, she knew God would heal her and bless us with children. I was settled that I would be a dad, the timing was up to God, which made sense because He holds the keys to life and death. Instead of believing words spoken over her by health professionals (being one herself), she went straight to the church for prayer and anointing with oil. Pat Baloyi and Libby Quinlan prayed over her for an hour followed by elders Stan Phipps and Mark Nyman. It was not long after that, perhaps four to five months when she fell pregnant with our precious little girl Gabriella.
Sadly two years after Charles, Angie's father had passed away, Shannon and Andrew lost their first child, a little girl, Michelle. She lived for one day and then went on to be with her Father (and grandfather). It was devastating to the whole family. We had all been looking forward to welcoming in a new member to our family, to bring joy and laughter, and so when we lost Michelle it was once again a traumatic and physically painful ordeal. A while after this time her sister Shannon had fallen pregnant again, and they had a precious little boy named Troy. Little did we know that the cousins would become the best of friends.
Most people like to keep it a surprise, which is fine if you have no leaning towards either a boy or a girl. I was leaning, so I needed time to prepare my mind for the girl. Once the sex of the child had been confirmed, I started getting super excited for this whole new world of girldom! And trust me it’s very pink and cuddly in that world! My whole life was about to be up-sided in the best possible way. Angie was nauseous and sick for most of the first few months, I wasn’t loving it, it was like being a single guy again. I would come home to a dark, quiet, lonely apartment. All Angie would do when she got home from work, was shower and head into bed.
Some fun being pregnant I grumbled, but I heard that it is a good sign of health at least on the baby’s side if the moms sick. Makes no sense hey, I know.
Anyway 9 months is a good time to prepare yourself for the new world you are entering. I was woken up early hours of the morning with: “babe we need to go, she is coming!”, so off to the hospital we went, they did the tests and sent us home. The next night same thing, this time it was happening, we arrived at around 1am, and were told that Angie was way past having an epidural, not that she had wanted one, but that wasn’t even an option. I started reading the monitor that was strapped to Angie’s abdomen and warned her when a contraction was starting or ending…not that she needed the warning. This went on for hours, until Gabriella Allegra Steyn appeared to the outside world for the first time. A natural birth was an experience of a lifetime for me, I was fully involved and amazed at the experience. Unlike most budding dads, the emotion of having a daughter, didn’t get me straight away, but rather developed as the day went on.
I was, as I am now, completely filled up with love towards her, just seeing her can make me cry, even today. Angie loves seeing how much I love our daughter, she will sometimes be mid conversation with friends about Gabriella and catch a glimpse of my eyes misting up. She is completely lovely and awesome to me. From the first bath they do at the hospital to all the baths we have done since, every day has been an adventure of discovery, and watching her pass one milestone after another has been the best thing ever!
We chose the name Gabriella because it means women of God, and Allegra, which means cheerful. And she has been a joy and a delight to us, and has been in ministry since day one. The number of people she has touched and still does is truly amazing. I highly recommend having kids, they wreck your life in the best way for all the right reasons.
Two years after Gabi was born, our boy arrived, we both had a dream where God told us to call him Eli, so when the time came to talk about the name, we both said his name is Eli. Angie had received a word of prophecy when she went for prayer with Pat and Libby that God would bless us with a girl and a boy and so we both knew that Gabriella would have a little brother. Again there were some possible medical issues, but this time on my side. We went to our fellow elders for prayer and it seems that very night we conceived our precious boy.
He got into my heart as fast as Gabs, just so perfect and beautiful. Both of them are super friendly and affectionate. I consider Eli to be a worshiper and Gabs a budding prophetess.
We have been blown away by our kids, as all parents are. I don’t want to present perfection in any way, I found parenting tough on our marriage, the lack of sleep is one challenge among many, but these are normal challenges for the young families of today. Communicating well with each other is key concept and being a safe place for each other is something we hold dear. We give each other second chances, we forgive, we show mercy and point each other to Jesus as best we can. It is a daily walk that we are committed to, despite the uphills. We are grateful for all that God has done for us and with us and know that He will continue to take us from glory to glory.
Message from Gabriella (age 8)
Hi, my name is Gabriella but some people call me Gaby. My favourite subject is drama and my favourite colour is purple. I like school but I also have hard times. I have a little brother and he makes my life happy as well as my parents. And we used to live in South Africa, now we live in Canada.
Message from Eli (age 6)
Hello. My name is Eli. But some people call me E. My favourite subject is basketball and my favourite colour is red and I DO NOT LIKE SCHOOL.
Message from Angie
God is in all the fine details of our lives, whether we see Him there or not, He is there. Looking back at my childhood and young adult life, I see His hand weaving beautiful silky continuous threads of joy and hope. Whilst life is hard, God has promised never to leave us, nor forsake us. He walks with us daily facing any challenge we may experience, together hand in hand. As characters in a novel or story don't know the end of the story until they get there, so we too don't know what each day will bring, but when we look back we can be truly grateful for what God has done for us and can also anticipate great things ahead. Most importantly we know that He is with us each day. I was raised in a Christian home with my earliest memories of Sunday school being in my kindergarten/preschool days. I committed my life to Jesus around the age of 10 and was baptised at the age of 13. Whilst my life took a few twists and turns and I walked down rocky paths and made bad choices, God always walked beside me and I refocused my life in my third year of university. He is so real to me, I have felt Him touch me physically and heal me, I feel the Holy Spirit with me on a daily basis. I am so grateful for my children, Gary, my mom, my sister Shannon, her sons Troy and Chad and her husband Andrew, for my best friend Jen, and for all my other friends both old and new. My friends and family love me unconditionally and radiate the love of Jesus so beautifully.