April 17, 2014
The Prophet went on to say to that person, “You have no peace because sorrow’s purpose is to empty you of previous joys. So long as food fills your stomach, you are not given new food to eat. During elimination, we eat nothing. When we are empty and hungry, then we are given food. Be patient and grieve, for grieving is the emptying of yourself. After you are empty, then joy can enter -- a joy with no sorrow, a rose without a thorn, a nectar without crop-sickness.”
(adapted from A.J. Arberry’s translation of Fihi Ma Fihi
by Jalaal ud-Diin Rumi, p. 72 - 74)
***
Sorrows are a part of life. But this doesn’t mean we need to live a life in bondage to sorrows. If approached with wisdom, they can be used to realize a joy with no sorrow.
So often when we encounter sorrows we seek to run from them or end them. Often the underlying motivation of this intention is holding on to previous joys and the impressions of these joys. Our past experiences of joy, past experiences that were pleasurable to the senses, define the space of our sorrows. (And by senses I mean: sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch, and the thinking / memory components of the body and mind.) When we experience things beyond the scope of what we found pleasurable, we often find ourselves in sorrow. This also reinforces attachments to previous joys: by holding on to these and being pulled (in behavior) by these we negate the purpose of sorrows which is to empty you of previous joys.
It is important to distinguish between sense-based joy and that joy with no sorrow -- for the sake of this post let’s call the later spiritual happiness. Sense-based joy reinforces the dominance of the ego and attachment to this material world. Jalaal ud-Diin Rumi uses terms such as “animal” or “carnal” in relation to this orientation. He shares:
This world and its delights cater to the animal within
us. These pleasures all fill our animal nature, while
our real self slowly dies. They say, “The human
being is a rational animal,” yet we consist of two
things. Lusts and desires feed our animality in this
material world. ( Fihi p. 106)
These pleasures are fleeting and often involve the pursuit of pleasure at the expense of others. This is why these pleasures can lead to immoral behavior: if I can’t get what I want through available means I may lie, steal, or harm others to get what I want. When we descend into this approach there is little concern for the means of acquiring what I want and how this affects others. Also the pursuit of what we want often includes harm for ourselves -- a joy with sorrow, a rose with thorns, a nectar stained by crop-sickness. Since these pleasures don’t last, one pursuing these joys often ends up chasing many pleasures since this is the only way to remain joyful in the station of sense-based joys. Also note that in ancient times avoidance of what is painful / sorrowful would have been included in their understanding of sense-based joys.
But there is another danger within this approach that undercuts one of the main purposes of the Sufi way, which is to realize the depth of surrender so the Beloved may reveal Itself to us. Jalaal ud-Diin Rumi states:
In Allaah’s presence two I’s cannot exist. You cannot
know your self and Allaah’s Self; either die before
Allaah, or Allaah will die before you so that duality
will not remain. But as for Allaah’s dying, that is
both impossible and inconceivable, for Allaah is The
Living, The Immortal.... you must die so that Allaah
can reveal Itself to you, and duality can vanish. ( Fihi p. 44 - 45)
Part of this spiritual dying involves sorrows so that the “I,” which we reinforce in part through sense-based joys, can disappear. With its disappearance, duality will not remain. Only Oneness, only the Beloved will remain. This “aim” is one of the pillars of the Sufi way and many prophets and saints have utilized sorrows to fulfill this “aim.”
It is common within this cycle of pursuing sense-based pleasures to attain joys, they fade to sorrows or pains, and then one seeks to escape the sorrows or pains by seeking more sense-based joys. Joys and sorrows are rarely absolute as most caught in this endless cycle live with multiple aspects of their lives fluctuating between joys, the fading of joys, and sorrows. Most people remain blindly caught up in this pattern until an intense incident of pain or sorrow arises, which then inspires us to look for an escape from this cycle.
Some turn to spirituality seeking an escape, aware that with the Beloved lays the way to be free from all suffering. Yet often when we turn to the Beloved only for the sake of escaping sorrows and pains, when we experience relief many of us return to the pursuit of sense-based joys. The fact that we return to the pursuit of these indicates that we have not fulfilled the purpose of sorrows: the emptying of previous joys. When we are truly empty of these, we no longer seek or reject these: we accept life as it unfolds adhering to the guidance (virtues, morality, teachings, etc.) of the Beloved. Such surrender places us in a station where we are genuinely open to the revelation of the Beloved, in which lays spiritual happiness.
For many, the “road” to spiritual happiness, that joy with no sorrow, proceeds through sorrows. And it will not be pleasant; it will be sad and sometimes very painful. In fact, we are forewarned that: You [will] have no peace because sorrow’s purpose is to empty you of previous joys. The depth of how much of our lives are guided by the pursuit of sense-based joys is hard to conceive, but even a tiny little inkling toward a pleasurable thing is sufficient to have our whole lives pulled into an endless cycle of chasing sense-based joys. The prophets and saints are clear: So long as food fills your stomach, you are not given new food to eat. During elimination, we eat nothing. We must be emptied, we must be purified -- as the reference to elimination infers. These words also suggest a jewel of guidance: that as we are being emptied and purified, do not “eat” anything to allow the elimination process to occur to its fullest. Is it wise to engage in sense-based joys while sorrows (or some other spiritual purification process) are cleansing us of these? There are stories of Sufi saints using periods of sorrow and pain to rest in solitude, temporary isolation from the material world and its pleasures, to allow the purification of sorrows full reign to serve its purpose. But the story doesn’t end here.
When we are empty and hungry, then we are given food. The promise of the Beloved to provide for us is fully fulfilled when we are brought to this emptiness and return to our original hunger: to “seek” (union with) only the Beloved. Then we are given that food which sates our true essence:
But as for our true essence, its food is knowledge
[divine knowing], wisdom, and the sight of Allaah.
The animality within us flees away from Allaah,
while our spiritual self flees away from this world.
(Fihi p. 106)
The best of words are meager metaphors for what this station is: when we are fed knowledge [divine knowing], wisdom, and the sight of Allaah. A taste of this and you will lose all attachment to the things of this world: to not pursue nor reject them, but even if you experience things that are pleasurable to the senses these do not turn your unerring attention from the bliss of the Beloved. It is for this that all the prophets and saints strived and endured. Even the greatest of these had to struggle to bear the emptying (dissolution) of the ego-based self. Thus, we are encouraged to be patient and grieve, for grieving is the emptying of yourself. When we are going through sorrows, we should be sorrowful and will suffer. If you go through sorrows without being sad and in pain that is a reason for great concern. But we have been promised a happy ending as declared in the Qur’aan:
But lo! with hardship (every difficulty) goes ease. Lo!
with hardship goes ease. So when you are relieved,
still toil and strive to please your Lord, turn your
attention to your Lord.
(translation of Surah 94 Al-InShiraah (Solace), Verses
5 - 8)
The promise of sorrows fulfilled is the bliss of the Beloved: a joy with no sorrow, a rose without a thorn, a nectar without crop-sickness. But we must see sorrows through to the end. This is not a call to seek (unnecessary) sorrows, but when they comes we are wise to bear their vigorous demands and (surrender to) allow our “self,” or aspects of our “self,” to be emptied and washed away. We are encouraged to patiently grieve with a deep and tearing hunger, a hunger the Beloved promises to feed when we remain within the space of obedience to the Beloved. And every promise of the Beloved is always fulfilled.
