Introduction:
Why do I write? I write to make a positive change in my life, in yours, hopefully, and the world. I feel quite indebted to write. My experiences in life have been broad. Have been mentally strenuous. Have been unique. Have been mentally deep.. in a different way. I was placed in such a way to learn and to come to know, and to teach those things. It is my responsibility. The world needs to hear what I have to say. And kind of similarly I write simply because it is in my nature. I began writing religious stuff early on. Must have been about 12. I began on paper. May have found a mechanical typewriter. Wasn’t until I got my first computer when I started making digital files. Then came internet, etc., and now I wouldn’t have any other hobby. No more important hobby anyway. I work hard on this stuff. I am always at it. Really I’d rather be playing my video game right now. Then again, I really feel that this should be started. And the first few pages are always the easiest.
They are all first pages for awhile. I decided to start writing several books at once. I realized it’s better that way. Can talk about different things. I don’t only write about Christian Satanism. Would like to surprise myself. To perhaps get three or four books done at about the same time. You understand.
This book doesn’t have to be read from the first page to the last. Not at all. It can be read randomly. That until it is absorbed. It isn’t a novel with a beginning and end as such.
Yes I want to make a positive change in the world. And I’ve always thought about how the world could be better.
My books are all free (as eBooks ) are available as paperbacks if you prefer. And are all in public domain. Currently I’ve written nearly forty books. You can share them, and please do. You can sell them, and do that too. And thank you all for your interest in the religion of Christian Satanism.
A grey religion.
Of duality.
One anti-sided-minded
One advantageous.
And perhaps a joke on the whole universe!
Let’s Play
Come to the show! There is Bob in one corner. He is angry all day. It’s not your fault. He is that way to everyone. There is a person picking out the nicest clothing they can. They want to impress everyone. Then there is the homeless man. He doesn’t know how badly he smells. He is just after a few dollars. There is a man in an ally right now, maybe not far away, smoking crack. There is a guy that attacked someone a few minutes ago. Now he is going to jail for awhile. Isn’t as bad as the person that killed someone. He’s got a secret to keep. What he doesn’t know is that in a few months he is going to prison for life. There is a person at a desk filling out some rather frustrating paperwork. A person just got paid. Will spend the next hour shopping. But too bad for the others in the world who have just gotten fired.
Some have fought for peace and have gained it. They can tolerate the worst of things. They have stamina. Some have worked hard in life and gained much. They have vigor. And those that have gotten a good education have high Mind. Some have come into a life they fully enjoy. They have vitality. And let’s not leave out the others, such as strength.
For me the world is much like an RPG. Even if it is more a choose your own adventure kind of RPG.
However you can make your life as any kind of game you wish to. Mine is an RPG. Yours may be an adventure, a simulation, a beat-em-up like Bob. As for me I feel like I’m playing many different RPGs at once. And I don’t play with others doing different things. Not the Bob type anyway. Not one to draw the fool card often. I learn and adapt. I grind and evolve. And most importantly: I survive.
My Current Life Vs. My Desired life
Laying out all of the cards on the table
I think I have the master plan mastered as mastered plans could possibly be. Christian Satanist was born of air and fire, no doubt. You could call Christian Satanism a controlled fire. You Would be very accurate. That’s all one part of my life. It came from quite a lot of toil and plain hardship. I was tested to the limits mentally. In so succeeding without dying I earned the moniker Christian Satanist. Take heed, Christian Satanism done wrong is dangerous. More so than Satanism. More so than Christianity. While one juggles if s/he doesn’t know how, things are going to fall.
This is a wonderful philosophy. A useful one. Who among the Christian Satanist can stand before the seat of judgement? That isn’t so for you because I have stood there already for you. Unless you a are going to proudly seek the seat of leadership for it.. to sit next to “us,” a seat of which I have nothing to say. You will have to find that seat on your own.
Lots of work. Little rest. Hard times, few soft times. But vitality gained in full. If you are going to find that place I have only one thing to say: leave no stone unturned. Do not overturn constantly, either, because you will need to be on time. To be timely. Keeping an eye on the hourglass. Being pre prepared for your fate.
*Destiny,” that is.
And you will be watched whom among this is so. And you will meet your watcher. And if they can be proven your earnest qualification then they will speak to you on that day about who you were all along. Among the arch angels. And all of your memories will be restored if you listen to me. So start there. Your tastes will bring light to the abyss. But that is all covered elsewhere. May you find yourself among The Counsel of Goats Someday. I promise you, I will prepare you.
Being All
Much of my personality comes from many personalities. I achieved this by imitating every character in my favorite movies, one by one. I watched just a handful of films many many times. The characters within them I individually personified. Therefore I am very many different things. Those split from good to bad. For in movies you will not find the gray. But through them I became gray.
Let Your Tastes Light the Way
Your tastes are the truth and the life, the light of your ways. Come to terms to that which you like the most. Rest and meditate on them. Gather them and store them in your abyss. Protect them. Cherish them. For those that do not like anything have nothing. But those who like a great big bundle of things is full of treasures. Your tastes: think about them often. Add and build upon it. Increase your desire for them. Do not question it all. Just run with it.
You will then always find something. You will never be without. Not an empty person but one as full to the brim as could be. And cherish your time in the face of the Earth. We are making fir ourselves a home here. And doing everything we can to earn it.
Find Your Class
Consider them. There are many. A myriad of them. What kind of person will you be today? What will you embody? What kind of voice will accompany it? What are its choice actions and methods? You can be many many things. Why be just one thing. A typical self? A normal human doing customary things. What’s the fun in that?
The Value of Good Clothing
Its been said before by many people that being dressed and suited well is as close to opulence as some can get. Whenever something new is happening in my life I personally like to get new clothes. Brings about an easy form of pride. You can never have too much pride! Maybe you cant afford a $1,000 ring but you can afford a $500 ring. And another one later. Hell, you’ve got eight fingers. Sometimes a crystal necklace is just as attractive. Plus it has its magic. The Christian Satanist has more options. Ever wear an inverted pentagram shirt with a large dangling Christian cross? As for me I won’t be seen in the same hat twice. And I will have an assortment if pins to wear according to my thoughts and doings at the moment. Black cargo pants. Durable sandals. Mood rings are nice. Everyone likes a mood ring. I remember an episode of a sitcom in which the army men were out in Korea in the frigid cold, at a medical base. One guy had a pair of warm long johns and the others greatly envied him.
Living the Ritual
There are those magicians that know their rituals well. They know how to perform them in a separate room of the house. They have a ritual chamber. An altar. They practice magic only there. And it is very limited to that.
One step above them are those that go out to look for magical items. They may have a few ideas, usually not many. Like taking a tree branch from a weeping willow tree to use as a magical wand. And they may perform rituals in a glade.
A step above them all are those whose natural actions are rituals. Like as with me, I pray silently to idols that a store may carry. Especially if it is on my way home. While I was homeless I did this sort of thing all the time. Every other thing I did involved magic experimentation. Used a mirror among a set of large statues. I knew what I was doing. I seen this fountain (a bowl beneath this pig demon looking figure) in town and would use it as an altar. It was at midnight. Nobody was around. I am a person that doesn’t sleep in such a condition.
Took pennies from the wishing well. Threw them back in. Recycled wishes.
Always looking up at the stars making my wishes.
Doing superstitious stuff cause why not.
And writing down prayers, art and music, sigils and things with trash paper. Or just lighting a candle and sitting to it all night praying.
Visualizing to music coming from a person or radio, wherever it was from, incorporating taste as which falls in line with my taste magic. Something I derived from the scripture involving The Last Supper.
In short I would certainly say that my whole life was a ritual. But that’s something that can be done whether or not you are homeless. Have your fun little magic tools laying around. Form magic words. You’ll have to experiment with names and sounds that work fir you. And then you can truly say I am a natural witch.
The Silent Party
The ability to throw a personal party for yourself with no one even knowing it. You could be around a dozen a dozen people and they’d never know you are. Thankfully we have earbuds to help us. Some of the things that will aid you in this are candy in your pocket, sweet drinks in a thermos, an artful magazine, or a cell phone. There cant be a party without good music. But there can be one with just one person enjoying it. Just involve the others in heart or mind and they will be there. Don’t worry about how realistic your representation of them is. Consider it a costume and make-up party. Enjoy life in full at any time. Carry a tune in your head. Whistle along the path that you are only on. Or just whistle to yourself. Hum if you like.
The Most Important class distinctions you will ever know
There exists in the world Stupids. They are those engaged in things that have been established as unlawful. Then there are the regal. They impose the law. And there are the productive who are well educated. Those are the only three you will ever need to know about.
The Stupids: they are always hooked on drugs. The do criminal things. Socially they are in gangs that do the same as them. Emotionally and mentally they are often broken. They have been slandered and abused many times. They must emit an aura of coolness around their peers because of it. And they are altogether shallow and basic. They don’t care much beyond the drugs they use, the power gothey get, and the pleasures they find. But they are very dangerous. You must do well to separate yourselves from them. Do not be where they are. You could be harmed by them. You could become one of them. Fortunately that lot is usually left for those of low self esteem or just those whose parents and friends were that way.
The Regals: They make the law. They protect. They hold things together. Because of them we can expect to sleep safely and walk around safely, as much as possible through them. They protect our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Unfortunately some societies become too out numbered by the stupids and they must flee.
The Productive have jobs. They are sometimes well educated, such as through college. They have money. Live responsibly. And protect themselves and those they love. They won’t have anything to do with the stupids. And fortunately they do t have to.
Very admirable are the Regal. That’s why I call them regal. Not just the police but the FBI and such too. They have more power than any gang could form. Thank God! In fact God Himself could be called the same. Some societies have them and fund them, build upon them, etc., allotting much authority to them (hopefully ethically.) Although some governments and their workings can be very corrupt.
But thankfully in America gangs have never achieved the threshold that they have achieved elsewhere.
Let it grow on them
Though the initial response of a person may seem not what you wanted, they may ruminate on it awhile, and come to your terms. Whatever those may be. Not just terms, sometimes just acceptance or appreciation that you seek from them. Yeah a person can be bolted by some of the things you say. But don’t be afraid of saying what you need to. Give them a few days. They will learn to handle it.
Not to not say, just to say it the right way
It’s been often with me that I felt I should li d never had said one thing or another. I am a person with easy guilt. I should have considered much sooner that there are always things I will need to say. Just that it must be said a certain way. I would be held over with a certain person working towards my next place of employment. Sitting there after work was over at my current job. I had an internship. Time on it was nearly done. Thought that his prepping me could have been done more efficiently. Was about to boil over. Would have if I lingered there even longer. So I walked up and told him I was frustrated and going to leave. He could understand that couldn’t he?
I was such a person that could not speak his mind. Like this: cant say this. Cant say this! Cant say this! Blah! RA RA! So I learned it is important to just express how you feel lightly. If they don’t understand then bring it up a notch.
Beware the Rage Zombies
There are those that would preach misanthropy over philanthropy. There are those easily disgusted with you. They will treat you harshly for anything opinion said. They are cloaked in misogyny. They’ll slaughter people who they are annoyed by on the open road. They are atheists yet practice magic. Are taught to be entirely selfish and hateful towards others. They are bitter towards anyone who don’t meet them at their standards. Have principles that are too strict. If they don’t like someone in their place they are told to severely lash out at them. They are made to think a certain man is in all ways superior, to the point of worshipping him. They idolize him. And they aren’t aware that they are in a cult. They’ll call every good deed fake, insincere. Their primary goals are queer. They are molded both in thought and speech entirely by one man, someone whom they conform to in all ways. And they are able to find any meaning in life apart from him. From such turn away.
The Greatest Solution
Nothing changes life’s woes for the better like good employment. As a thing of monetary gain and pride, and in the reduction of focus. Work gives you a focus like nothing else can. There is a twin to this though. And that is education. I would encourage you every way I can to work. To have a job, for money. For your favorite things. If I had said it two years ago I would be a hypocrite. I admit! But I took a chance. Really I was just after money. Focus? Pride? What if that? I realized though they go hand and hand with work and are two things I may have really never known until I began working. I finally have the money that I need. I have awesome things, like expensive name brand shoes. Great clothing. Wonderful electronic devices. I didn’t grow up working. I had no chores. It took a lot of personal strength way back. In my twenties. I found that with maturity came patience. And remember: there are many job choices. Even as a receptionist. A person that sits to get paid. As for me I am a cook in a private café for now. My next step is coming. That was a paid internship. Paid minimum wage which isn’t bad in San Francisco. I would like two simple certificates: in electronics and programming. And I have a certificate that is easy to get: a food handling license.
Meanwhile I am writing. Several books at once. For the variety of it. The shift in topics. I would always think well that would be a good idea for my next book but not this one.
True Evil
I am not true evil. Not at all. Ask true evil of me and they will tell you the same. I have a sense of what true evil is. It is a profound feeling that emerges. Satan and his representations. Doesn’t have to be him alone I guess. But every time I perceive some such thing I am astonished. Imagine walking down a path. Let’s say you are the chosen one, a hero to all. You stop. There is a person.. a thing there. You think he’s just a regular guy along the path. He asks if you want to join some club or some BS. You think in the back of your mind the guy is a little moronic. He asks if you know about the club he is in. The hero says no. The guy says “well we are a club put together to fight the hero that we heard was here. And I’m going to take your life!”
I certainly don’t represent pure evil. Neither does Christian Satanism. When a Christian told me once before that I was pure evil, I knew he didn’t really know what he was talking about. They know these things about the Devil but they do not know that blackest of darkness within him and the feeling that gives fir those who have felt it.
Don’t mistake me for all of that. As I know what pure evil is, I didn’t set to bring about Satanism for people. But to decide a line and create it for people that have a substantial enough goodness to them. These pure evil people cant have any care for humanity. They want it dead and gone. And I would say to pure evil: I am not one if you. Neither are the Christian Satanic. So let me just peacefully turn from you and be gone, I am not here to interfere with you.
Witchcraft that is fun!
Let’s keep positive and constructive with magic. Not negative and destructive. Negative things will pull us down. And like Jesus said “if you live by the sword you will die by the sword.” Magic can be fun. Bright. Build you and others up. Even bring up the world around you. And it can remain simple but still work. A lot of its success just depends on belief and faith. As well as a relationship with higher beings. Ones that are there, seen or unseen.
Wicca is a load of fun. It is simple. It entails the use of crystals, candles, the tarot, herbs/ potions, prayers and chants. Like wearing a crystal you energize. Gazing into a crystal ball. Using runes etc. One good book is all you need to get started.
And apart from Wicca (actually magic I created myself) there is “taste magic.” Kind of relatable to the Last Supper. You taste something and relate that taste to something you visualize. So money is an easy example. You imagine getting wealthy to the taste of something. And with another visualization a different taste. And you have music to help you.
And I created trash writing. I call it trash writing because during my time homeless I would do this with paper from a trash, place it all in a plastic bottle, and throw it away. Came from the trash. Went back into the trash. You don’t have to use paper from the trash. But you do throw it away, wherever. In your trash can at home. What do you write? Well that is what makes it magic. You write prayers, draw art, write music, drawing symbols and sigils for your chosen deities. Like for Shiva or whoever’s else. I like to tape a foreign coin onto an index card and request something.. from Santa Muerte. I put it in an envelope and throw it away. And remember, higher powers can see what you write.
Just let me smoke!
When I am at work I allow my co workers to make their own mistakes. I am unique in this. Some I’ve worked with keep a close eye on me and if I don’t do things their way they will tell me what to do. Like they would do it. Like I’m supposed to say their way is better. But if I notice a person is making a scramble egg instead if the omelet they are supposed to I leave it to the boss to correct them.
And I don’t snitch. I don’t threaten to call the police or any such thing. Whatever authority. I don’t tell the staff about someone.
We ought to forgive people of mistakes. Readily so. Of vices. Of which we all have. There was a woman who told me not to smoke on a narrow bench because she needed to sit there. She was obese. That is why she needed to sit down. I really felt like telling her she needed to go on a diet. Smoking has at least kept me thin. I was on a work break. I just wanted to relax a moment.
I was told once that if a car accident happened then insurance shouldn’t be involved. Stuff like that just happens. Hopefully no one wants to get into a car wreck.
There is gambling and going bankrupt. But then there are those who get rich. There is promiscuity and catching a deadly STD. There are drugs that get you hooked for life. There are drunkards and DUI. There are those who make idiotic choices like robbing a bank or worse, or much worse. I think these things are worse than smoking. Me whose only vice is smoking. But I feel like my little freedom is being nudged off the ledge. I am here but for a short time. The thing helps me remain productive.
The Dire Need for Intellectual Freedom
Society invests in you a cult like thinking. If you don’t adhere to the philosophy of it then you are ousted, ostracized. Even condemned. Fired from work. Shamed. I feel that my thoughts and opinions are no one else’s business. But they will pierce into my mind and find things. Sometimes things not really there. But they want the upper hand.
Worse than that they blame things on others. Or on institutions or whatever else.
You shouldn’t have to care about other lifestyles. Other cultures. And by the way, Christian Satanists welcome all kinds of people, race, gender not our concern. However we don’t make a culture out of things we were born as, and that is strictly so. That we maintain our identity from this religion and its fellow adherents. Keeping it our sole identity. That we may be separated from other cultures and the norms they try to impose on us making us just a little bit unlike ourselves keeping us from focusing on our own ways. Forcing us to stare at them and know them. So we will be stratified from them and their entanglement. We will pursue and fight for our right to exist independently from them.
The Importance of High Level Comfort
There should be an occupation of people making others more comfortable. And I don’t mean mentally like a therapist does. But in physical form. They could go through your home suggesting new seats. More comfortable seats. A better bed. They would know just the right covers. They’ll help you find just the right clothes by the right size and design. Will know the right ice maker fir you to get. And drinks they may never have heard about otherwise. If something in the home is frustrating then they would address it. If they see dirty dishes everywhere then they may suggest paper plates. Or just getting rid of multiple dishes. One plate and one fork and spoon. Mice and pests they would address. An occupation of making others as comfortable as they can be in their home.
Energy Healing
Where does one turn after they had been holding negative energy for a long time? It may be released as total inhibition. That may come from alcohol or drugs for some. As periodic, habitually. And so they really depend on it. But for others, it could come after a breaking point. And I know all about being broken. It dawns on me an evil side. More accurately a twisted side. And so I am one split into two. But right perspective may be required after a build up of worry. Of irrational concerns. That feeling of guilt that makes us feel as though our choices can never be right. Developing the right perspective and along with it just a resolve. A resolve to break through obsessive compulsive thought. My initial diagnosis from a doctor was OCD. It takes a leap of faith to break through. To refuse to worry. Worrying won’t fix anything. I wouldn’t say anything but only you will know when and how and what it may really fix. What a problem I have! I am such an intelligent person though there are those less smart than me who are full of happiness, if not more angry than me in general. I turn to music sometimes. I love to conceptualize it. To momentarily uplift my self-ideas through it, as much as I can. Sometimes more able to than other times. Most times not so well. But when I can pull it off it can become quite euphoric. My Schizophrenia causes grandiosity. Grandiosity coupled with music has an especially powerful euphoric effect.
My worries are things very silly. They don’t feel ridiculous but they are. Like accidentally handing the cashier too little money. Walking out. Having unintentionally stolen. Causing a car wreck if I darted across the road or bumping into someone.
I feel the best thing I can do about my future is to write. I wish to be famous. I wish to be a popular figure. Just what others want so do I. Just what you want. What we all want. When it comes to people wanting things I am among everyone else. I have the right experience. Been through hell in back like Odin venturing into the under realm to collect the runes. Philosophy is my cup of tea. Religion is the ice. Or maybe the other way around.
My job sure helps. I used to worry about being fired for simple mistakes. But I’ve become the most experienced worker there in just 6 months. I get the money I need for sure. And what I buy with it helps my life more too. I love my new gaming console. The game I am currently playing. Drinks help too. Not alcohol. But having a nice big thing of cold tea beside me have always geared me toward more positive concerns. And I can easily get list in rumination sometimes. From certain things. My self identity when I feel it is right. My friends who had really been a joy to be around lately. Sitting alone on a bench. No one around for miles. Just rolling over the more bright sided things. Getting paid. That sure changes my day. I don’t lose sleep over it the night before. And if there is one problem many have that I don’t it is that I can sleep. And I do, every night, with little effort. It just happens. It has always just been that way for me. At least I don’t have insomnia. At least I don’t attack others. At least I am a free man. Without any real concern of others to legitimately have. But there are none I hate more on this Earth than a false accuser.
You’ll never know unless you try
People have all kinds of ideas. But they want to just keep coming up with the better idea and the one better still. So they may not get off the ground. Maybe they just like the idea better than actually doing it. Doing it requires more work. But you gotta start somewhere, right? Even if it’s the smallest thing. I too have all of these problems. I am interested in electronics. The kind related to repair of old computer bases systems. Video game stuff. Some of it is child’s play. Like putting a new battery in an old cart. And