This is the text of a sermon that was preached to a deeply divided congregation.
I have a couple of passages of scripture I’d like to explore today. If you’d like to follow along…the first one is Matthew 18, starting at verse 23. While you are turning there…I have a little story for you…it is a true story…it is something that happened right here on this stage in fact.
It was during DVBS a few years ago and we were rehearsing for our skit. The skit we were rehearsing ended off with a birthday party, so as any good birthday party has, there was a birthday cake involved. I tell ya, it was a beautiful-looking cake…completely covered over with delicious chocolate icing. We could hardly wait for the performance so we could dig into this wonderful dessert…well, show time came along and we rolled through our skit, it was going pretty well until we came to the moment we had all been waiting for…the birthday party…specifically, the cake cutting. Well, as we watched the knife cutting into that icing, our mouths started watering…soon, the plates were handed around and we were ready to feast…but then, we noticed a little problem…the inside of the cake was…well, how do I say this, it was green, quite green and moldy in fact. Well, the pews out there were full of people so we had to pretend that nothing was wrong and get on with the show. Well, did the best we could and after everybody was gone, we had a good laugh about this wonderful cake we had been so looking forward to but had let us down.
How many of you have had a similar experience?
Have you ever looked forward to something but when you got it, it wasn’t quite what was advertised?
I won’t ask you to raise your hands. I’m pretty sure most of you can think of something.
Sometimes these experiences can be humorous like the story I just shared…but sometimes these situations are not humorous at all. Sometimes they can be downright disappointing and discouraging.
I’m going to ask a more challenging question now. Has anyone had that experience with Church?
You thought a certain Church was about one thing…but, one day you realized it was really about something else. You thought a certain pastor was on the right track…but one day you see a headline that says that pastor you thought you knew was actually somebody else all along. You shared your heart with someone in confidence, then, later you found out that the whole town knew about your secret.
Here are three stories about people who experienced just that sort of situation. Keep in mind that these stories are in their own words…not my words.
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One of the biggest reasons I left the organized church was the fact that we, as a church, were simply maintaining our own club/clubhouse. We tithed to pay the costs to operate the organization. I guess since there were no widows, orphans, or hungry people around we were able to justify keeping it all in-house.
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The Bible and God were twisted into something ugly and frightening. Most of the time, people just wanted to step on us, to grind their Christian truth into us with their heel. If that’s what being a Christian was, what God was, I wanted nothing, absolutely nothing, to do with it.
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We have tried to find another community of people who would accept us for who we are and have failed. We’re tired of trying. It seems so pointless and church seems fake. Questioning is not allowed. Don’t forget to tithe so God will bless you! Isn’t our worship team the best? We long for a faith community, but after almost two years of looking I don’t think we’ll find it within the four walls of “church”. I don’t know how we’ll find it. I threw my heart and soul into the last church for two years, only to be betrayed and rejected and kicked to the curb. I don’t feel like repeating that right now.
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These stories are hard to hear. To be honest, I’ve heard stories like this quite a few times. If you haven’t. Consider yourself blessed.
If you look on the internet a common question is, why are Christians so mean? That is a good question, isn’t it? How did we in North America get to a place where this is one of the common questions that people have about Christianity? Why are Christians so mean?
Maybe these questions make you nervous. I can assure you that I didn’t come up here this morning to slam the Church in general. So, bear with me until you hear the full message.
With that in mind…let’s take a look at our first scripture passage for today. Matthew 18:23.
23 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold[h] was brought to him. 25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 “At this, the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ 27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt, and let him go.
This would cause celebration and thanksgiving, shouldn’t it? You would think so…the servant was about to lose everything, including his family because of his massive debt, but what happens next? Did this servant give thanks for the grace that he had received and for the one who gave it?
Let’s take a look at verse 28.
28 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins.[i] He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
So, the servant who had just been forgiven a debt of 10,000 bags of gold, decided to go after a fellow servant who owed him a hundred silver coins. To get a sense of the great contrast here… in modern language, we could say that a person who had been forgiven a debt of 25 million, decided to go after a fellow worker who owed them 25 cents. And then what happened…check out verse 29…
29 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’
30 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ 34 In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he should pay back all he owed.
35 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
This is quite the parable.
Have we ever been the unmerciful servant?
Have we ever been hurt by the unmerciful servant?
There are lessons here for both the unmerciful servant and the one harmed by the unmerciful servant.
Check out verse 35. If we have been wounded by the unmerciful servant, we must forgive them. This may the hardest thing that we have ever done…and it may be the last thing in the world we want to do to someone who has wounded us. But, there is great danger in holding on to bitterness and resentment.
You may have heard the saying…hurt people, hurt people. Consider this story that illustrates the point.
His father was described as frequently intoxicated, extremely domineering, and ‘tyrannical.’ He showed his children no pity and would beat his son very severely indeed, inflicting serious physical harm.
Sometimes when his father was very drunk, his son would have to act as his caretaker and collect him from the local tavern and accompany him home, only to be beaten for his trouble. Passages from Mein Kampf suggest Adolf Hitler may also have been sexually abused at a young age.
I think we all know what happened when young Adolf grew up.
This was an extreme situation. But this story shows us clearly that hurt people…hurt people. But, this doesn’t have to be the case.
Take a look at verses 26 and 27. The first error of the unmerciful servant was to turn his attention away from the great gift of grace he had received and the one who gave it. If we have been wounded, the temptation to do the same thing can be strong. We must resist that temptation.
We must not let bitterness and resentment turn us into unmerciful servants ourselves.
Verse 35 sounds harsh…especially when someone has been wounded deeply but consider that the Lord himself has set the example for us. We have been forgiven…so, we too must forgive..from the heart. This isn’t just saying nice words with our mouths and keeping the bitterness hidden inside…this is true forgiveness, from our whole being.
We must surrender that craving for revenge for all the pain they caused us…Romans 12:19 says Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but leave room for God’s wrath. For it is written: “Vengeance is Mine; I will repay, says the Lord.” 20 On the contrary, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him a drink. For in so doing, you will heap burning coals on his head.”… this does not mean that what happened to us was good…this doesn’t mean that we go back to a place where people deliberately want to harm us or our children and refuse to change….however, forgiveness stops bitterness from building up inside us…forgiveness means that we stop the cycle of hurt people hurting people…
Forgiveness is a step forward. And, perhaps, if the other person is willing, this can the beginning of reconciliation. But there will be more on that in a moment.
Maybe you have been deeply hurt and wonder why I’m harping on this. Maybe you are wondering, what about the unmerciful servant? Isn’t that the main problem? That is a good question. What about the unmerciful servant?
Another question is, have we ever been the unmerciful servant? Have we ever turned our attention away from the great gift of grace that we have received and the one who has given it? Have we instead turned our attention toward the shortcomings of our fellow servants and decided that we needed to address them? Have we ever forgotten the 25 million dollar debt we have been forgiven and instead, decided to focus on the 25 cents somebody else owes us?
Have we ever said some things we shouldn’t have said?
Have we ever been judgmental when we should have shown love?
Have we ever shut someone out of fellowship that should have been welcomed in?
Now because of what we have said, someone is too discouraged to use the gifts that God has given them, or maybe because of what we did, someone is struggling in their faith or has left it altogether.
If that is the case, we need to be honest about what we have done. It is so easy to rationalize things and say we actually had good reasons for it, or maybe it was actually somebody else’s fault all along. We have to be honest about it. After we admit our wrongdoing, we need to repent, for the people watching who aren’t familiar with Church lingo, repent means to turn away from. This isn’t about saying sorry and carrying on with what we’ve always done. This is about turning away from that wrongdoing and returning our attention to the great gift of grace that God has given us and living accordingly.
It may not be easy. If what we said or did created a lot of damage, it may take some time to regain trust. Maybe the person we hurt will never want to speak to us again. However, if admit our wrongdoing, and are willing to turn from it, we have taken the first step toward reconciliation with the person we hurt.
Consider this…If the one who has been hurt, decides to forgive…they stop the cycle of hurt people hurting people and move forward.
If the one who has done the hurting decides to ask for forgiveness and turn away from that wrongdoing, they take a step forward.
If both parties do this, we can come to a place of reconciliation and community.
Consider the words of Psalm 133. How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! 2 It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, down on the collar of his robe. 3 It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the Lord bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.
What a wonderful picture this is! The Lord blesses the people who live in unity!
But, all this is built on the foundation of truth. It is so easy to pretend that everything is fine…to say nice words…to just keep up appearances…but even though a lie sounds nice, it is still a lie…and the problem with this sort of lie is that it keeps us trapped where we are. Jesus said the truth will set us free. We need to be honest about our hurts…and those that we have hurt.
Healing begins with being honest, with…ourselves, with each other, and with God.
James 5:16 Admit your faults to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous man has great power and wonderful results.
Let’s be people of truth.
Maybe we have been hurt so deeply, all we can say is…I know I should forgive but I can’t find the strength to do it…I need help. Or, maybe…we want to stop saying those hurtful things, but we just keep saying them. Like the Apostle Paul, we do all the things we shouldn’t and don’t do the very things that we should. If so, it is okay to say, I need help. And you know, the good thing is, all of us here can participate in helping if someone asks us for help with these things.
The church is more than the people who go on stage. The church is you in the audience, it is all of you listening in the parking lot, it is everyone watching online. One of the best things we can all do for the health of this church is to acknowledge past wrongs, if we have been the unmerciful servant, to turn away from that…if we have been hurt by an unmerciful servant, we forgive them…and if possible, we pursue reconciliation.
Maybe I was the one who said or did something…that is a real possibility. If that is the case, I hope that today is the day we can put that behind us.
Grace is a beautiful thing.
Consider this story in John Chapter 8.
As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.
4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”
6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.
9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”
11 “No, Lord,” she said.
And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”
12 Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”
Some people spend a lot of time trying to figure out what Jesus wrote in the sand. Other people try and figure out if the woman brought before Jesus was actually an adulteress. However, today I would like you to consider this story at face value.
Isn’t this story quite a contrast to the story of the unmerciful servant?
In the parable of the unmerciful servant, we saw the power of unforgiveness. In this story, we see the beauty of grace, as demonstrated by Jesus himself.
There is a lot of division in the world today.
One group grew up in one set of traditions…another group grew up in another set of traditions. And, the only thing it seems that both groups have in common is that they say that Jesus wants us to follow their traditions.
Political parties that are completely opposed to each other will each claim that Jesus is on their side.
You have your youtube guy. I have my youtube guy. Somebody else found a cool preacher on tv. And before we know it, we’re all arguing about which preacher is closer to Jesus…and we forget that Jesus actually said things like, as much as lies with you, live at peace with all men.
What if we would set aside all these other voices telling us about their version of Jesus…the traditions that we’re used to…the people using the name of Jesus to further their own agendas…the guys on youtube with all the exciting new revelations about Jesus. Instead of all that, what if we would spend some time this week studying the life of Jesus himself?
There are people in this world who will use some of the same verses I read today as a tool to cover up their wrongdoing, to justify abusing others, and so on. You’ve heard of them. They are in the news pretty regularly. If we get to know the real Jesus, we won’t be fooled as easily when they come around to tell us about their version of him.
We will also discover truths that have changed the lives of Christians for about 2,000 years.
We will see how Jesus left his perfect home in heaven to come down to earth. Why? To live with a race of very imperfect humans, to become a homeless rabbi, with little to his name. We will see Jesus wash the dirty feet of his disciples, including Judas, the friend that he knew would soon betray him to death. What does this mean for us when we think we’re too good to show mercy to certain people?
We will see that even on the cross, stripped naked, and whipped beaten…with nails pounded through his hands and feet, Jesus offered forgiveness to those who stood at the foot of the cross and mocked him. What does this mean for us when we have been wounded by our fellow-servants?
We will see how Jesus gave up everything, his place in heaven, his dignity, his royal position, and finally his life. And for what? So, that we too can experience Heaven someday. Not because of anything that we have done, but despite everything that we have done. Isn’t this the ultimate picture of grace?
Isn’t it amazing to think that every person that you will ever meet is someone who Jesus loved enough to die for? Sadly, some people do not want to accept this love. But the fact that the offer is on the table for anyone who wants it is still pretty amazing if you ask me…grace is a sign of the goodness of God.
Now, what if, after studying the life of Jesus, we would decide that we aren’t content with just knowing a bunch of facts about him. What if we would decide to become a disciple of Jesus?
What does the word disciple mean?
What would our lives look like? How would people know that we aren’t just someone who calls ourselves a Christian, but that we are actually a disciple of Jesus?
John 13. A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also must love one another. 35By this everyone will know that you are My disciples if you love one another.”
This has nothing to do with doing what we’ve always done, just because we’ve always done it that way. This isn’t about pretending to like other people so that we can keep up appearances. This isn’t about saying nice things so that people will think we are nice… while, all under the surface, we hide our ugly secrets that destroy others…and if left alone, will destroy us. This is about being honest with God about those times we have been unmerciful to others…this is about facing the pain and disappointment we have felt when others have hurt us. And, after we lay all of these dirty rags down at the foot of the cross, we turn away from them and walk toward a new life.
A life where we keep our focus on the gift of grace we have received and the one who gave it.
Take a look at John 12 again. 12 Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, “I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life.”
I hope we will all leave behind the ways of darkness, the bitterness, the anger, and division, and instead, that we will walk in the light.
Philippians 2: 1 -11.
Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2 then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
5 In your relationships with one another have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
7 rather, he made himself nothing
by taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8 And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
by becoming obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.