“…it’s the demons that you can’t see.”
So this dog wakes me up this morning talking to me. Now only God usually does that, but now I have to be on guard because this sucka is around. I get a vision of a man who watches a little girl riding her bicycle the same way everyday, a black man after a little brown girl who’s happy to be riding her bike. He throws something on the ground – nails or glass so she gets a flat tire and he can talk to her. I’m looking dead in his face and the man was embarrassed and moves away, but I can see what he planned on doing to her little body.
Now this (expletive) Satan – everybody knows how I feel about pedophiles.
He keeps saying, “Well, what about God?”
He wants me to accuse and complain against God. Lil’ tricky (expletive). So I get pissed. Of course, my favorite word for him is used at least 50 times because he is a lil’ (expletive).
“You done been in my bathroom, in my bedroom, know what my butt smell like, all in my face trying to smell my breath, tried to screw me while acting like Jesus, done disrespected God in my face to HIS face, even making sexually immoral references to HIM while calling HIM names…”
So again, I want to fight this (expletive), but God keeps us separated cause he's a lil’ cheating (expletive).
Long story short, I’m in a room with his ugly (expletive) and there’s a door, so I open it, and there’s all these dark mists floating around. This (expletive) wants me to know that if he wasn’t locked in this room we would have a problem, but that's not true cause his ass is too slow. So God comes and tosses his stanky acting (expletive) in the room and holds on to me and tells me to look down. So I do and it’s all darkness.
HE says it goes so deep and there’s so many souls down there. I ask why they don’t fight since they’re all so evil. Because they’re all evil is the answer - what's the point?
This (expletive) adds, “Because a house divided cannot stand.”
So again he’s mocking me for sassing the God because he knows it burns me.
That's fine. I’ll say the lil’ (expletive) is right. But at the same time, I feel like if I’m upset and I’m talking to God his punk (expletive) shouldn’t be ear- hustling all in my business. God knows how to correct me - has done so before - and is extremely efficient, hits the aim dead on. Trust me.
I’m tired of this ugly…
So now that I think about it, I remember that every time I try to draw close to God, I’m bothered by this demeaning or violent activity. But he called me a bitch even when I was bad but never came close, or I never noticed because I was doing the wrong things. When I moved toward repentance, he tried to snatch me off the couch and we fought in the living room until I prayed.
When I fell all the way for God, we stayed in communication and HE coddled me. Next thing I know, my best friend is raped, my brother dies in ruin, and I do something so stupid that I wouldn’t tell nobody but Jesus (comeuppance but stung all the same). In one year’s time!
What came with those events? A demeaning voice full of put downs that co- mingled with the divine voice which directed me. Guilt. And a trickster. I fell for it.
But never sexual before except a dream I had of watching him rape a woman a long, long time ago. Things have definitely changed. Just like now knowing where the put downs are actually coming from, I’m like “I’m dying and this (expletive) is still going everyday a month later”. What that tells me is he’s trying to keep me from a great future. Telling me not to pray. He's trying too hard. Getting on my damn nerves too. Sometimes I want to fight him, but God says he’ll only make me tired.
Take a Benadryl, lay down to listen to the Letter of Jeremiah on YouTube. I close my eyes and see me lying naked over his lap facedown. Some lady is saying, “Oh no, she doesn’t know what that means.”
He's got horns like a ram. Chest like a man - bones protruding. The body of a horse. Hooved hands. He’s mad but he doesn’t know what to do. Jesus said they tricked him. Time will show it as always. Clarity comes when you’re not looking for it. I was thinking maybe they didn’t trick him – just playing his mind. Kind of a trick within a trick.
The dog says, “You know me, I’ll just keep ticking” – anything to shake his fist at God, who’s looking at him right now like HE can’t stand him with the “I can’t stand you” face.
He (the devil) says, “I don’t care.” God told me to make sure I get that. It says, pointing. “Look at my face.”
I guess that facial expression means it's serious about not caring.