Visions and Beyond by David Ellinger - HTML preview

Worms, Blood, and Broken Bones:

It is interesting to me how nature and biology are interconnected. I have noticed that trees are like inverted lungs that give air and life to the world. Our lungs are also like trees with branches giving precious life to our bodies. As my spirit evolved, I am noticing increasingly that I can see the beauty of God’s energy within trees. I loved the three large walnut trees that stood around our farmhouse when I was growing up in Michigan. I use to give the trees a bear hug, and just thank them for being there.

I was now far away from those trees that I used to love in Michigan. I was now in Tucson Arizona working for a large aerospace manufacturer making tactical missiles. My grandfather use to love all of the old western movies, and so I was excited to be where cowboys and indians used to live.

Tucson is a great town with mountains surrounding the valley, and large open blue skies. That was the very first thing that I noticed and enjoyed, the openness of the landscape. It made you feel like anything is possible in this desert land. On the weekends, I used to explore the canyons and the trails on Mt. Lemon. I was surprise to see how much nature was in the desert: the wild pigs, the quails, and the coyotes. The monsoons were incredible in the summer with their large display of lightening, and dust storms.

Although I loved Tucson, and enjoyed my work and friends, I felt like something was still missing in my life. I decided to give organized religion another chance again. I joined a church next to the University of Arizona, and started singing in the choir.

It happen on a Sunday morning, I was sitting in the choir loft when suddenly I felt extremely sad. I am normally a very happy person. It was like all of the world sadness was flooding through me. Tears were flowing like a river, and I did not know why. After this initial spiritual experience of sadness, the visions started and they became increasingly intense.

I started to have visions of large worms starting to craw out of the front of my body. These worms were large with hairs covering their sides. After a period of about a month, the worms started to have blood on them, and then dark thicker blood started to pour out of my body in these visions. The blood then became lighter and lighter in color. Then I had visions of my bones breaking and then turning to a fine dusty powder. Never in my life did I ever have visions like these before, and I was never told of these in Religion 101 in college. I prayed to God often during this difficult time, and was wondering what in Heaven’s name was happening to me.

Then I was shown another vision and all of the pieces started to fall into place. I was shown that our souls are like blue spheres of pure energy that floats in the air. These spheres are all of God’s children, and as we get closer to God, our spheres and souls become brighter and brighter.

But as negative things happen to us, or if we start to make wrong spiritual choices then our spheres start to dim and we start to drift away from God’s pure energy and love.

Once this dimming starts to happen, this then allows worms to start entering us. These worms then feed off our energy, and make us feel tired, useless, and depressed. It is like having spiritual heartworm. Heartworm is a condition that dogs obtain. Once a dog gets this condition, worms actually form in their heart, and makes them tired, weak, and very sluggish. However, once a dog gets the proper medication, the worms die and the dogs become normal again with their normal energy level back.

This was a similar principle that was happening to me. My spiritual medication was that of Holy Communion, meditation, and prayer. God’s energy of the Holy Spirit was starting to affect and purify my soul. This medication was making my soul brighter and brighter.

So to summarize, the visions started, and these giant worms started to come out of my spiritual body. One by one, they would come out. With each one, my blue sphere (soul) was becoming brighter and brighter. After a period of a few months, I then had images of just dirty blood flowing out of the hole where the worms were coming out of my body. It was dark dirty unclean blood. The next visions were that of my bones breaking and turning into dust. It was as if God wanted me to see that I was more then my own flesh, bones or blood. The image of the blue sphere that I was seeing was getting brighter and brighter.

I was then in a morning bible study. I was not doing anything, but listening to the other folks talk, when suddenly energy flowed into me, and my head was jerked to the side, and I felt God’s spirit entering me. The best way to explain it is that it is like pure energy and love coming inside of you. It was as if a certain equilibrium had to be obtained until God’s life force could enter me. From a science perspective this make sense, like a car battery, the battery first had to have a sudden surge of energy to recharge it, before it can come back to life and work properly.

Therefore, by reading this chapter, you might think that I had all the pieces together and I was at peace with it all. Not at all, I was frightened to death and disturbed by the visions. I did not have a mentor to talk to about the strange awakenings that were occurring with God’s energy and life force.

I did what any good formal college graduate would do; I went to the library. At the time, there was very little information about spiritual transformations or visions. Were these visions that I was having unique or were they special, and there were no specific books that explain in detail on this type of event. I did find an old book by William James, “The Psychology of Religious Experiences”

The booked helped but did not go into the specific outline of the experiences that I was having. I now know for sure that the visions were that of my actual cleansing process of my soul, and helped me form a direct relationship with the Holy Spirit, which is God’s life force and love.

During this time, I talked with the Senior Pastor of the Church. Well, here we go again, I said to myself. The senior Pastor said you have quite an imagination young man. This Church may not be the right church for you. He was not taking my visions seriously, and was looking at it from a pure psychological perspective and not a spiritual one.

I also felt intuitively that I was not given the truth about spirituality, but more of the same old religious dogma that was not helping my soul to understand or develop. Come to church if you like, sing some hymns, and shut up please. Lambs are to be passive, take you medication, and do not hang you dirty laundry up on the porch for all of us to see. As the reader, you predicted correctly, and I was soon out on my own again. I left the dogma of the church, but I did not leave the Grace of God.

After jogging through the University one evening, I was doing my walk warming down from my run. Sweat was running down my face, and I had a towel to wipe the sweat away. Internally, I was asking God why are you doing this to me and what purpose did it have, and I felt like screaming at him trying to understand why I was going through these experiences.

Suddenly, out in the wide openness of nature, the Holy Spirit flooded into my soul. I want to be honest with you, it felt like sex, but it was more intense then any sex that I had ever had before or after. It was a feeling of incredible love, not only in a human sense but also in a holy sacred manner. I believe God was trying to tell me that I was truly loved more than any tiny sparrow and even in the darkest time of my soul.

I wanted to learn more, so I thought that I should take college classes from Pima College, which was a local community night school in Tucson. I was surprised and had to smile to myself when I entered the class, and there was a Jewish Rabbi, who was going to teach us both the old and new testaments. I was still very frustrated at the time and still very emotional about my visions that I was having when I entered his class. I remember that I was on the edge of crying in class, and I just could not hold all of what was going on inside me any more.

I did not want to be embarrassed in front of a large group of my peers again. So as my tears were starting to fall again, I put my face into my hands, and asked God not to let me cry again. Please God not again. At that moment, the Holy Spirit entered me again, and replaced my tears with an amazing smile. Not a single tear fell that night.

After I passed with straight “A’s” in both classes, I decided that I needed to get out more, and I saw that the Masterworks Choral was looking for male voices. I enjoyed singing, and thought it would be a good experience for me. I remember looking forward to the spring concert that we where going to put on Mother’s Day. The concert was in a local Methodist church. Afterwards, I was introduced to a young woman who was a friend of one of the sopranos in the Masterworks Choral. We all went out to lunch together after the concert. This girlfriend of the friend became my wife after a year of dating. So I can truly and honestly say that my mother was right, that I did meet my wife in church.

I believe that the true lesson I learned here was that we all have souls, and that the soul does interact with God’s energy and love that is all around us in nature. The soul does obtain its energy from the life force that is God. It is through prayers, meditation, and Holy Communion that we draw closer to God and his eternal love.

Our soul eternal
within the ocean
of our consciousness.

A glorious vessel of eternity, a sacred piece of God
that is truly loved by all.