Visions and Beyond by David Ellinger - HTML preview

September 9/11/2001

What I am going to tell you is the truth, It is the vision that I had of 9/11. You may say that I am gifted or blessed, but I do not feel too much comfort from those words. Especially, not after that terrible morning for our nation.

It was a regular work weekday. I came home from work tired from a long day. I was now working for a computer pharmaceutical benefits management company. The enjoyment of the work was not so much in the tasks themselves, as it was in the satisfaction of the problem solving of the job, and the ability to help others. I was always told that work was work, if it was fun, we would not then call it work. It is interesting how we put labels on things, and once we put a label on an event good or bad, it can bring up strong emotions. I think that we should always be careful with labels, good or bad.

I went to bed the night before 9/11with the daily work rerunning through my head. Do you ever do that? Your mind is like a tape recorder, at the end of the day, you hit the rewind button, and it plays again. I believe that it is better to hit the reject button, and just toss the tape away, than hitting the replay button so the daily events play over and over again in your head.

Just before dawn, I had the vision while I was sleeping. There was darkness all around me. Out of the darkness came a small girl with a dirty white dress on. I remember she had blond hair. Have you ever seen a dead person in an open coffin before? Their skin is that of a greenish gray color. If you ever seen the color of death, you will never forget it. This little girl who came in front of me had that color. I was looking at death itself in this little girl that was so innocent. Her eyes stared through me, and she slowly lifted her arms up in front of her for me to look at. Her long white sleeves fell off her arms showing me her arms with her palms up to the morning sky. I looked at her arms, I was in shock for both arms had large open slashes. I looked closer and both wounds were showing the broken bones of her arms within this precious small child.

Innocence lost, innocence lost, echoed though my mind. I was looking into the eyes of death itself. The apparition then disappeared before my eyes into the darkness, into the darkness that was yet to come that morning on 9/11.

I felt a true heaviness and sickness in my soul as I took my morning shower. What was the apparition that I just saw? This type of vision had never happened to me before. I then went to work and turned on my computer in my small cubical. I was typing on my small keyboard, as a voice from another cubical nearby shouted that a small plane had just hit one of the twin towers. I first thought that it must have been a small plane that just had an accident. I clicked on to the CNN website, to see what information that they were showing. I discovered quickly that it was more then just a small plane crash.

After the second plane hit the second tower, the vision came back to me. Two Towers broken, two arms broken. Death of the innocence. Death of a child. For they were all of our children, brother and sister, one and all.

I mentioned to a co-worker that America will never be the same. I then said a silent prayer for the fallen, and for the small girl that came to me in that vision that morning. Innocence truly lost for a whole generation.

Lesson # 7: Courage and Faith

This vision and morning of September 11, 2001 has burned an image into my consciousness. Our world as we know it has been changed forever, but we should not give the power of our souls to fear and hate. Yes, justice, but not fear and hate. Hate will just bring on more hate, and fear does nothing for us but to take always our power for progress of our spiritual growth.

After 9-11, I have seen so much courage, compassion, and faith within all of my neighbors in their daily lives across our wonderful nation. It is important that we continue to have the personal courage to go about our daily task without fear but within the sense of true freedom and faith of all that America has to offer for us.

Upon the Flag called Glory:

 

Hands of the innocent

 

reaching towards the heavens above.

Two beautiful lotus flowers unfolding with tender droplets of early morning dew.

A stillness of Eternity.

The breath of eagle wings,
as a waterfall of souls
cascaded towards the broken earth.

Angel hearts and wings embracing.

The tears of the Heroes,
within the silent prayers
of God’s amazing healing grace.

Daylight transformed by darkness,

Stars of heaven appearing, Solidarity,
One by one,
upon the flag called Glory.

Columbia

It does amaze me how fast time goes by; work, sleep, work, sleep. Minutes turning into hours, hours into weeks, weeks into months, and then months into years.

It is also interesting to me on how we take technology for granted and assimilate it into our lives. I remember the slide rule in high school, and now my son is a computer whiz starting on the computer since the tender age of two. Remember the business calculator that was $500 at the electronic store, and now it just a few dollars. Take the microwave for example, growing up we had an electric stove. Just a couple of hundred of years ago, they just use fireplaces. The car vs. the horse and buggy can be viewed in the same way.

Since Challenger, there were successful launches of the space shuttle one after another. Like everyone else, I knew that there was always a risk in any given launch, but with work and family, I really did not pay any attention to the schedules unless I caught a media flash on the local news channel.

I remember the night when I came home from work on that Friday. I drove my old 1995 Honda into the carport, and made sure that I left enough room for the recycling bin. Friday is recycling day, and the empty bin is always waiting for me when I get home. I got out of the car, and pushed the recycling bin in the back of the carport

I was walking on the sidewalk to the front door when I had another vision. I saw faces in clouds. I could see the outline of their faces. Their faces started to melt like wax crayons, showing their skulls, and then dissolving. The vision was so strong that I stop walking, and stood for several minutes.

Opening the front door, my son greeted me. He was excited for tomorrow we were going to go to the Parada del Sol the next day on Saturday. Prada del Sol is the Parade of the Sun; it is one of the largest horse driven parades in the country. The vision occurred, but I did not have any reference points to attach it.

I woke up the next day, and we were all getting ready for the parade. I turned on CNN, and a breaking news announcement was just coming in. The announcer stated that the Columbia has been lost during reentry. Pieces of the exploded shuttle were being found across Texas. I remembered the vision that I had the night before, and like all Americans said a silent prayer for the whole crew.

It was later found out that what caused the melt down was damage that occurred to the wing structure during reentry. It was similar to the o-ring of Challenger, where a few individuals knew of the potential danger, but due to high pressure of the larger group, the individuals were silenced due to performance schedules and specific deadlines to meet.

I tried to enjoy the parade that morning, with beautiful horse and buggies rolling by. As a tax paying American, I believe in space technology and the mission of NASA. However, I also believe that we must always learn something from the past, and try not to have the same situation occur in the future.

Lesson # 8: Learning from the Past

The Challenger, and Columbia, were both terrible losses for our country and to the families. However, with any new adventure, there are risks. There are risks just getting up in the morning, and going to work. It is important to have learned from our past, as we move into the new frontiers and the challenges of tomorrow.

Risks are important. If we didn't take risks, we would never grow spiritually. We would just sit alike a turtle on a floating log in a pond, not moving very far in either direction. We all need to take risks, like taking a new job, getting married, or starting a family. There are risks in everthing that we do, and if we didn't take them, then we wouldn't find that joy that the risk gives us within the given adventure of our lifes.

An Angel Fall

If I saw an Angel fall, I would pick him up, and hold his head.

I would moist his lips, and break him bread.

 

I would mend his wings with golden tread.

 

If I saw an Angel fall from Heaven’s grasp.

 

Blue Skies:

My mother had bright blue eyes. The type of blue that engulfs you like an endless summer day. She was always upbeat and positive, and loved all of her children and grandchildren. The telephone rang one Sunday afternoon, and I picked up the telephone. My mother always called me on Sunday to see how the week went although we were now miles apart. We always took the time to reconnect and see how everything was going. This week my mother was excited because she was going to Las Vegas for a convention.

My mother was an international balloon and floral designer. She had gone to Australia, Great Britain, and Argentina giving lectures and showing how to do floral/balloon designs. She was well known in the industry. She told me that she was off on another adventure. I told her that all was well here in Arizona, and hope that she might win at the Casino that she was staying at that week.

I put the telephone back on the receiver, and I remember that afternoon of a song that kept entering in my head. Do you ever had that situation, where you would be doing something, and then music would just enter and pop into your head, and it goes around and around, and around. That was exactly what was happening to me. Being a singer, this was not totally an uncommon event. However, it had been going on for over a month, it kept playing in my consciousness.

The song was “Blue Skies”. You know the melody,
Blue skies looking at me, nothing but blue skies do I see, Blue birds singing their songs, nothing but blue birds all day long…

Again it was just a normal day; I was in my cubical working on my computer. The telephone rang, and I picked it up. It was my wife on the other line. She was upset and crying. She said repeatedly, she is dead, she is dead. I thought immediately that she was talking about her mother who we have been taking care of for a few years. She is very elderly, with a broken hip, and wheelchair bound with declining health. I started to comfort her over the phone stating that she had a long and happy life, and she should be proud of how she took care of her instead of putting her away into a nursing home situation.

My wife took a deep breath, she said David, it is not my mother, but yours. How could this be, my mother was a healthy sixty nine-year-old grandmother in perfect health, who was on her way on a business trip to Las Vegas, the entertainment capital of the world. I went into immediate shock. I went to my manager and told her of what just happened, and I went back and logged off my computer. I then walked out of the office and went home to call my two brothers.

I found out quickly more details of my mother passing. My mother was on her way to the Airport in Grand Rapids that morning. She was just a passenger in the back seat. As the car that she was a passenger in made a left turn, the other car that was an SUV hit directly on my mother’s passenger side. My mother was killed instantly crushed by the impact.

Because my wife had to take care of her handicapped mother in Arizona, my son and I arranged to go back to Grand Rapids, Michigan for the funeral. Everyone was extremely sad at the funeral. I believe this type of passing is the hardest, because the victim relatives never had a chance to say goodbye. If you have terminal cancer, at least you have the opportunity to say your good-byes before making the transition into the afterlife. My family and I never had that chance with my mother’s passing.

It was still strange, that the song kept going through my head, “Blue Skies”. Blue skies looking at me, nothing but blue skies do I see… After the funeral, we all went to my stepbrother’s house. We were all given balloons, and as a group we let the red balloons go with silent remembrance. The red balloons went slowly up through the Michigan Pines, and up into the blue sky above.

The day after the funeral, I went with my oldest brother to his house in Spring Lake, Michigan. It is a small village close to Lake Michigan. I got out of my brother’s car and walked up the sidewalk to the entrance to the house. A large butterfly came in front of me and started to play with my face. It was as if it was trying to get my attention. As I opened the front door and entered my brother house, I found out what the butterfly was trying to communicate to me, there was a large floral arrangement on the middle of the kitchen table with a tiny bluebird in the arrangement.

I had to smile because my Mother was a florist arranger, and her nickname when she was younger was called Birdie.

That was not the end of the story. I returned back to work, the following Monday. I did my best to concentrate on my job and make sure everything was done in a timely manner.

Our company used to have a small singing group. We used to practice every Wednesday during our lunch hour, and then go to nursing homes to perform as a positive outreach program. I didn’t feel like singing that week, but thought it would be good to get back into the old routine and back to what was normal to me.

I remember that I was in the back of the group, being a baritone that is where we usually hung out. One of the songs that we sung was ‘Blue Skies”. As we started to sing that song, I had the most incredible vision. My mother was now standing behind me and was giving a goodbye hug. The vision lasted as long as the song did, and then is faded away in the melody of another song. My mother was much younger in this vision, about in her mid-twenties, and was wearing a dress out of the early 50’s.

About a month later, after a long day at work, I was working out in the company’s weight room area on an exercise bicycle. All of a sudden, I had a vision of my childhood standard poodle come bouncing up like Tigger , the tiger, up to me, and was trying to lick my face. I was so happy to see my old family dog that I have not seen since the dog’s passing back in my childhood. But what was more incredible was there standing behind the family dog, Fifi, was my mother again. She was again at the age of midTwenty, and again she was wearing a party dress from the 50’s again. She was looking fantastic and she was smiling at me. The vision then faded.

It was nice to see both of them again. It was a comforting vision to know that my mother was OK, and was looking fantastic. She was even being looked after by the family dog that passed on years before. Those folks that ever had a family pet will understand what it means to you to know that everyone is safe and looking fantastic in the spiritual world.

Lesson #9: Love is eternal

The word love is a four-letter word that we truly do not say enough to each other. It is so much easier to say the other four-letter word. Cherish the time that you have together with your love ones. If you can say your final good-byes to the ones you love, then please add the words, until we meet again.

Follow-up:

After writing the outline of this chapter of my mother’s passing, I was driving to Sunday church. A voice came to me, and said to me that my mother was here with me and wanted to say how much she appreciate the kind words that I wrote about her. I can only say in return how much she will always be appreciated by me for all that she was and did for me

in my given lifetime. One more thing that I forgot to mention, my mother’s maiden name was Kievit, which is Dutch for little Bird.

 

Until my Wings Unfold:

 

Who are you that whispers in the wind.

 

Who are you that touches my soul within.

 

Memories of past days we shared together

 

Soft Tears returning

 

Wingless butterflies

 

falling on broken dreams.

 

Catch me in your breeze my Lord, and strengthen me by Heaven's door.

 

Hold me in your arms again, until my wings unfold.

 

The Red Tail Hawk:

The red tail hawk is a majestic bird in Arizona. Their wings are spectacular to watch as they soar against the dark blue desert skies. I have been told that the Hawk and Eagle are considered messengers from the local Indian tribes. They are considered to be able to transverse between the earth plane, and soar into the depths of Heaven itself, and back again with messages from the Creator.

Every lunch hour at work, I try to get out of the office and take a halfhour walk. This is my time to stretch and get out of my cubical to get some fresh air. I enjoy my walks very much, and our facility is in an urban medical building area, which is next to a hospital and cancer research center. It is a time that I try to calm my thoughts, and to get a perspective of what has been happening that day. It could be over 100 degrees outside, and I would still have to take my walk to help me get through my day.

Well, there I was on my daily walk at noon, and I passed a building with a runoff drainage pool. I was in my own thoughts, when suddenly a large red tail hawk flew down into the pool, and made a large noise splashing the water, and called out to me. It flew down from a nearby mesquite tree next to the building. I thought that it was strange to see a red tail hawk so close by.

I then kept on seeing the red tailed hawk, almost every time I took a walk. I saw it circling above me with its majestic wings gliding on the mountain winds. I remember the time that I tried to save a red tail hawk life when I was in college. An injured hawk was outside of the dormitory that I was living in at the time. I took a cardboard box, and took the poor bird to the nearest nature center. Unfortunately, the bird died in the car, before I drove up to the center. I have always had a strong connection to the red tailed hawk.

It was now Christmas day 2003; I was walking down the city sidewalk with my son on the way to the store to get a large soft drink. I always enjoy the walk and especially with my son to talk to. Suddenly, we saw a red tailed hawk flying down from a tree near by, and flew just a few yards in front of us. It was the most glorious Christmas present that could have been give to me. My own Christmas Hawk on Christmas morning of 2003. After it flew in front of us, it raised its wings in glory up towards the heavens and disappeared.

Lesson# 10: The Spirituality of Nature.

I know that it is only through nature that we are helped to reconnect with our spirituality and understand who we really are. My mother’s favorite place was a lake in Michigan called Stony Lake. It was there where she was able to reconnect, and go small sailboat sailing on the Lake. I love Lake Michigan and the oceans myself, but also I love the desert.

When people come to Arizona for the first time, they believe that the desert is just sand, one giant sandbox. However, as you explore the desert, you find out that it is truly a place teaming with life. The quails and their babies are fun to watch as they go running across your path.

I also enjoy the spring flower that bloom and explode into color over the landscape of the desert. For months there is nothing to look at, then in a short period of time the brightest purple, yellow, and orange flowers are scattered across the barren sands. The sunsets are also very wonderful against the mountain background that we have both in Tucson and in Phoenix.

I think that this is like spirituality for some people.

Some people believe that there is no spirit, there is no life after death, and it is just one big void: One big empty sandbox. However, to those individuals, just as they first view the desert, they start looking closer into the emptiness, that they have so called labeled, and slowly they started to see flowers starting to bloom where only darkness and emptiness was before.

Spring:

 

Desert Blossoms in bloom.

 

Purple, Yellows, Oranges, and Blues.

 

The Beauty of the Hawk soars in the sky above.

 

Morning doves nesting in a mesquite tree.

Dried mesquite beans on the desert floor waiting for the rebirth

of Spring.

 

Advent of an Epiphany

Advent and Epiphany are two similar Christian celebrations. Both are similar in a way that it symbolize an arrival, a coming to the birth of Jesus. I do not apologize; I just love Christmas in every way possible with all of its wrappings of ribbons and bows. I love setting up the family Christmas Tree. As a family, we set up the tree as we watch the Macys Parade on TV on Thanksgiving. This is early for some folks, but for me it is a great day to start the season. People just seem more positive and happy during these special days. Going to see a Christmas Concert or a play just adds to the fun. It is exciting to buy all of those presents and put them under the tree. The beautiful Christmas carols being played by the local radio station. It is truly a wonderful time of the year.

It was the fourth day of advent and I was sitting again in the choir loft. Again I was just minding my business, just looking at the music one more time before we had to perform in front of the congregation. Suddenly, I had another vision. This vision was of the Christ on the cross. I actually say a three-dimensional image, and saw his flesh as if I could reach out and touch him. Although it was an image of the crucifixion, I saw a light coming from him that showered over me that gave me a feeling of comfort and love. The image of the vision then disappeared, and it was time to sing the anthem for that Advent morning.

Christmas came, and we had a great family celebration. I bought my wife a pearl diamond necklace, because I wanted to make this a special Christmas for her. It was then New Year’s day, and I was looking forward to 2004 and the start of a New Year. I am not a night owl, so I can never make it to 12:00 to see the ball being dropped in New York's Times Square. I have been to New York City a couple of times, and I always loved the great energy that the city has and all the places that you can go and see. The people are just wonderful there.

Soon it was Epiphany Sunday; it is also called King's Sunday. It is a day that celebrates the arrival of the Magi to view the baby Jesus in the small stable that was at the inn. How did the Magi find Jesus?

They went on there own spiritual journey from their own given lands. A single shinning star in the East guided them. Once the magi found Jesus wrapped in a blanket in the arms of Mary. They fell on their knees and worshiped him. They then gave Jesus gifts of gold, frankincense, and Myrrh.

On this specific day, a young man in my congregation, came up to the podium, and said that he was going to leave the church. The church was an older congregation, and he tried to get a young people social group off the ground. He was given funds to have Saturday's band concerts, and pizza parties. I just sat in the choir loft in amazement listening to him. Church is not about free lunches or pepperoni pizza. Even though, I personally do love pepperoni pizza.

It was then communion. I took a small piece of bread that symbolize the body of Christ, and dipped it into the chalice of wine that symbolized the blood of Christ given to you to show his love and mercy for you. It is a special moment of remembrance of God's love for us per the Last Supper that should be open to all people of all faiths.

I then fell on my knees like the Magi of old, and I said these words. God, I accept my calling if it is your will, and then I went on saying, However, I do not think I have one.... Before the but and the do not started to come out of my lips. God's anointing fell upon me. It was truly amazing, and was a miracle.

It felt like pure energy and power coming into me, and it was as if my consciousness was being lifted up to a higher level. It was the Holy Spirit, but it was more intense than I ever felt before. It truly lasted at least 1 minute, and I just started to smile with the largest grin from ear to ear. It was the most powerful anointing that I have ever felt before, and it was simply amazing. I said to myself. I think I just got promoted.

It was an event that did not happen when I accepted Jesus for I have been a Christian since my baptismal at birth, and have joined several churches through the years. It happened when I accepted my calling. It also happen on King's Sunday. The day that the prophet's, magi, and astrologer's came and worshiped God's son.

I will be honest to you that this event has truly changed my life, and it has confirmed to me what I have thought since my youth, that I do have a unique and special calling.

What is a calling? What does it mean? Do I have to shave my head and join a monastery? Does it mean that I should become a preacher? Does it mean that I am a prophet? Does it mean that I am a medium and my calling is to write spiritual books, and to pass along messages about our spirituality and of God's love for all of us to read? I will also ask the reader a question, do we not all have a special calling, and maybe this is one of the most important events in our lives which is to be on bended knees and accept our calling from God so we can fulfill our true destiny that we all have on earth.

Lesson # 11: Accept your Calling

 

What is your calling from God?

Now that you have read this segment, turn within yourself, and ask your personal question. Next time you worship with God either in a church, temple, or in Nature. Just tell God that you accept your calling, and let God's purpose for your life be fulfilled by his grace and glory.

I believe that this will be a truly spiritual event for each of you, as it was for me. It is a turning away from your agenda, your pride, and taking hold of what you are destined to become. A peace will on come over you, and your life will start to change for the better. You will no longer be a fish swimming up stream, getting frustrated, tired, and all worn out. You will now be swimming down the river through green pastures towards the ocean of fantastic treasures and possible dreams.

Magi

 

A distant journey

 

through narrow clay streets.

 

Robes of silk and crowns of gold.

A magical light of an eastern star shinning on the face of a new born child within the gentle arms of Mary.

Beautiful gifts given
and a Messiah received
by messenger's of God's angels on bended knees.

Sacred Power:

I believe that to understand spirituality, it is very important to understand power. I believe that only God has the true power over us that helps us, nurture us and guides us through our journey. Not our organized churches, not our government, not our professors, or our bosses, I do believe that institutions are important. However, institutions are there to serve the people, and not take away our freedoms or our power of God within our souls. Any institution that focuses on fear is wrong and you should always measure your leaders on how well are they serving you and not their own personal interests or hidden agenda.

It is important that we never give our personal power away, that we always accept the power within us with the understanding that God’s love is the only true power here on earth. True power is not one of control or of obtaining positions of great power or wealth, but it is the power to change the world for the better as co-creators within the love of God.

I would like to share with you some of my personal history that helped me understand what true power is. I was born on a sunny Easter Sunday afternoon, March 29^th, 1959; it was a beautiful spring day in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I was born prematurely, and when I came out of the womb, I had the umbilical cord wrapped around my throat. My mother said I was completely blue in color. The doctor saw that it was a distressed birth, and used forceps to pull me out, and quickly untied the cord, and gave me oxygen.

After my birth, I then developed high fevers with colic and was allergic to milk. My mother said that all I ate was warmed oatmeal for the first five years of my life. Now as an adult, I do not like hot oatmeal.

Most children start talking when they are about six months old, making sounds, and soon they say their very first word, mama or dada. In my case, I was born unable to speak, and I lay in the crib crying. After years without making my first syllable, I then said my first word at