Chapter 2
In Which Mr. Walker Makes Three Attempts To Ascertain The Dwelling Of Morgiana.
The day after the dinner at the "Regent Club," Mr. Walker stepped over to the shop of his friend the perfumer, where, as usual, the young man, Mr. Mossrose, was established in the front premises.
For some reason or other, the Captain was particularly good-humoured; and, quite forgetful of the words which had passed between him and Mr. Eglantine's lieutenant the day before, began addressing the latter with extreme cordiality.
"A good morning to you, Mr. Mossrose," said Captain Walker. "Why, sir, you look as fresh as your namesake--you do, indeed, now, Mossrose."
"You look ash yellow ash a guinea," responded Mr. Mossrose, sulkily. He thought the Captain was hoaxing him.
"My good sir," replies the other, nothing cast down, "I drank rather too freely last night."
"The more beast you!" said Mr. Mossrose.
"Thank you, Mossrose; the same to you," answered the Captain.
"If you call me a beast, I'll punch your head off!" answered the young man, who had much skill in the art which many of his brethren practise.
"I didn't, my fine fellow," replied Walker. "On the contrary, you-- "
"Do you mean to give me the lie?" broke out the indignant Mossrose, who hated the agent fiercely, and did not in the least care to conceal his hate.
In fact, it was his fixed purpose to pick a quarrel with Walker, and to drive him, if possible, from Mr. Eglantine's shop. "Do you mean to give me the lie, I say, Mr. Hooker Walker?"
"For Heaven's sake, Amos, hold your tongue!" exclaimed the Captain, to whom the name of Hooker was as poison; but at this moment a customer stepping in, Mr. Amos exchanged his ferocious aspect for a bland grin, and Mr. Walker walked into the studio.
When in Mr. Eglantine's presence, Walker, too, was all smiles in a minute, sank down on a settee, held out his hand to the perfumer, and began confidentially discoursing with him.
"SUCH a dinner, Tiny my boy," said he; "such prime fellows to eat it, too! Billingsgate, Vauxhall, Cinqbars, Buff of the Blues, and half-a-dozen more of the best fellows in town. And what do you think the dinner cost a head? I'll wager you'll never guess."
"Was it two guineas a head?--In course I mean without wine," said the genteel perfumer.
"Guess again!"
"Well, was it ten guineas a head? I'll guess any sum you please," replied Mr. Eglantine: "for I know that when you NOBS are together, you don't spare your money. I myself, at the "Star and Garter" at Richmond, once paid--"
"Eighteenpence?"
"Heighteenpence, sir!--I paid five-and-thirty shillings per 'ead. I'd have you to know that I can act as a gentleman as well as any other gentleman, sir," answered the perfumer with much dignity.
"Well, eighteenpence was what WE paid, and not a rap more, upon my honour." "Nonsense, you're joking. The Marquess of Billinsgate dine for eighteenpence! Why, hang it, if I was a marquess, I'd pay a five-pound note for my lunch."
"You little know the person, Master Eglantine," replied the Captain, with a smile of contemptuous superiority; "you little know the real man of fashion, my good fellow. Simplicity, sir--simplicity's the characteristic of the real gentleman, and so I'll tell you what we had for dinner."
"Turtle and venison, of course:--no nob dines without THEM."
"Psha! we're sick of 'em! We had pea soup and boiled tripe! What do you think of THAT? We had sprats and herrings, a bullock's heart, a baked shoulder of mutton and potatoes, pig's-fry and Irish stew. _I_ ordered the dinner, sir, and got more credit for inventing it than they ever gave to Ude or Soyer. The Marquess was in ecstasies, the Earl devoured half a bushel of sprats, and if the Viscount is not laid up with a surfeit of bullock's heart, my name's not Howard Walker. Billy, as I call him, was in the chair, and gave my health; and what do you think the rascal proposed?"
"What DID his Lordship propose?"
"That every man present should subscribe twopence, and pay for my share of the dinner. By Jove! it is true, and the money was handed to me in a pewter-pot, of which they also begged to make me a present. We afterwards went to Tom Spring's, from Tom's to the 'Finish,' from the 'Finish' to the watch-house--that is, THEY did-- and sent for me, just as I was getting into bed, to bail them all out." "They're happy dogs, those young noblemen," said Mr Eglantine; "nothing but pleasure from morning till night; no affectation neither--no HOTURE; but manly downright straightforward good fellows."
"Should you like to meet them, Tiny my boy?" said the Captain.
"If I did sir, I hope I should show myself to be gentleman," answered Mr. Eglantine.
"Well, you SHALL meet them, and Lady Billingsgate shall order her perfumes at your shop. We are going to dine, next week, all our set, at Mealy-faced Bob's, and you shall be my guest," cried the Captain, slapping the delighted artist on the back. "And now, my boy, tell me how YOU spent the evening."
"At my club, sir," answered Mr. Eglantine, blushing rather.
"What! not at the play with the lovely black-eyed Miss--What is her name, Eglantine?
"Never mind her name, Captain," replied Eglantine, partly from prudence and partly from shame. He had not the heart to own it was Crump, and he did not care that the Captain should know more of his destined bride.
"You wish to keep the five thousand to yourself--eh, you rogue?" responded the Captain, with a good-humoured air, although exceedingly mortified; for, to say the truth, he had put himself to the trouble of telling the above long story of the dinner, and of promising to introduce Eglantine to the lords, solely that he might elicit from that gentleman's good-humour some further particulars