Faisal didn't stop calling and texting me, which didn't help me to forget about him. I've never picked up nor replied to any of his calls or texts. Basically, I had now a diploma of Online Dating with a major in ghosting and I was using my skills to its pinnacle now. Plus, I wasn’t even sure whether he was in London or texting from a secluded house with his new wife in Pakistan. I read his first text, which totally broke my heart to bits. “Valérie, my body was in Pakistan, but my heart was always in London with you. Just thinking about you made my life easier and complete. You are an angel, Valérie, who managed to show me how love feels. I felt so empty without you in my life and I can't wait to kiss you again." I was weak and in pain. I almost replied, but Bianca took my mobile and deleted his number.

Well, of course, I still had some archived texts and WhatsApp, so I still had his phone number somewhere on my phone. But, I firstly just deleted his texts and a few weeks later, I blocked him.

To my biggest happiness, London was surrendering to the warm weather coming from the Caribbean. No winter blues for me that year. Plus, I was a free-spirited entrepreneur and I was enjoying that life: I went skiing in Finland, dancing in Tunisia, and partying in Greece. I was enjoying life to its fullest with my new fellow international jet-setter friends. I was enjoying Corfu with Kristina when Stephanie, still eager for me to join Celest Connections, invited me for lunch in between my travels. “You should let me set you up. I know the perfect person for you. In fact, I know loads of men who are searching for a lady like you, Val,” she said.

I liked Stephanie. I wasn't sure about joining Celest Connections yet but I really liked her company and I wanted to befriend with her.

So, a few days later, still a bit jet-lagged from the crazy nights out I had in Corfu, I was getting myself ready to have lunch with Stephanie from Celest Connections. I was in my car heading toward Celest Connections in Knightsbridge.

I was late. Works, Works, works! It’d been like they’d been doing the improvement work on Brompton road since I’d moved to London. It took me like 20 minutes to reach Celest Connections. I could have walked, but those Louboutins were not the strutting type. When I finally reached Celest Connections Agency, Stephanie was still in a meeting. Her PA was standing at attention in front of her office with her coat and her bag ready for our lunch. I was smiling, impressed by her meticulousness, consideration, and professionalism. She was on point! I needed a PA like her.

Stephanie finally got out of her meeting; she was accompanying her guest at the door congratulating him for finding the love of his life through the agency and thanking him for the wedding invite. Well, I wondered if she didn't showcase the scene.

Stephanie came back to us, her PA took the files and pens from the meeting, helped her put her coat on, and gave her the Louis Vuitton bag.

“We’re late! Let’s go! Car ready?” she questioned.

Her PA nodded, “Waiting for you downstairs.”

“Great,’ she responded.

Stephanie and I got into an empty lift, catching up quickly and laughing out loud when two gentlemen joined us right when the doors were shutting.

I smiled while Stephanie stopped talking and the elevator went all quiet. It was quite awkward, more so because I felt a sharp and insistent stare at me.

But when we reached the ground floor, I had a quick glance and these intense green eyes along with that bold, strong look were literally stabbing my heart. I tried to recognise and distinguish his physical traits but all went blurred as his smile brightened my face. I was drawn to his lips and his smile; he was dazzling me. Meet Colgate; this guy had a smile to be in their advertisement.

I smiled back, enthralled by the unknown and left the lift before him with Stephanie. Prompted by Stephanie, we ran into our car, which drove us towards the Ivy.

This lunch was fun. Stephanie told me about the variety of men she could introduce me to with the membership; she was even ready to make me pay half of the membership upfront and the other half only if I found the man of my life. Risky bet! I was really tempted. It was a luxury I could afford now. I liked the concept and it worked so well for Camellia, why not? I took Stephanie’s documentation and promised to give her a response before spring. I could tell she was disappointed but not discouraged. God, she was tenacious.

Lunch finished, I went back straight home to work. My keys were still in my keyhole when I received a call from Stephanie. I thought, wow, this girl really wants to sell her membership.

“Valérie, what do you think of the idea of going to a blind date?”

“Well Stephanie, I have just told you that I am not sure yet about joining. Can you just give me a...?”

“Don’t worry about this. My pleasure. First introduction for free!”

Stephanie was still talking but I wasn’t listening anymore. I was very reluctant to the idea. I also thought it was a trick to force me to join. But Stephanie was adamant and persistent. In doubt, I asked her for a picture. She refused. Well, I wasn’t convinced at all and decided to decline the date for now and promised to come back to her if I changed my mind.

This time, she sounded very upset. Well, I’ve never been to a real blind date and considering my dating history, I wasn’t sure of the idea. Well, I thought after a few seconds, if Stephanie calls again, I will accept. What did I have to lose? Could be fun and she’s a professional matchmaker, she knows what she’s doing…

And, a few minutes later, I had a call from an unknown number, I wondered who this could be.

“Allo?”

"Hi Valérie, should we have that drink tonight?” A man with a deep sexy voice offered.

“Who’s this?”

“Your Celest Connections date! Sorry, Stephanie has just given me your mobile number telling that you couldn’t wait to hear from me,” he expressed in a sarcastic tone.

“I see….” I replied, annoyed and blushing. “Well, I am a bit tired as I…”

He interrupted me. “Great! I'll see you tonight at Zuma. 7pm. Don't be late.”

I didn’t have the time to add anything else; he was gone.

WTH? Did he understand me??? And what was his name again? Should I call him back and cancel? Oh no! He was smart enough to hide his number. I can’t believe this. I was confused yet amused by his audacity. But, I gave Stephanie a call. She didn’t pick up and never did that afternoon.

God! How would I recognise him? Who should I ask for? Did he know how I look like? Was it a blind date for both of us? Oh, my… I seriously needed to have a small nap before that date; the nights out in Corfu didn’t make me any prettier.

The blind date

Well, my supposed short nap became a long nap. I woke up at 6:15. I couldn’t believe I didn’t hear my alarm. I had his voice in my mind constantly repeating, "Don't be late." I ordered my cab straight away for 6:50, which should be okay. Zuma was just next-door and we wouldn’t need to pass through Brompton Rd. Jumped in the shower. No time for a blow-dry. I needed to pull and put my hair up. I got rid quickly of the frizz. Before I knew it, I was called by my cab, which was waiting downstairs! I would have to put the rest of my makeup on in the cab.

All that stress and running around put extra fatigue in me; I couldn't believe I had a nap. I felt numb. I arrived at 7:03 and as soon as I got into Zuma, I was called by the stranger, “Here!” A man waved at the right-hand side of the bar in the middle of the venue.

The more he was getting closer, the more his face seemed familiar. I was walking very cautiously toward him. I just hoped it wasn't a previous date I couldn't stand.

Closer, Closer, Closer… This smile… And then the smell becoming more and more overwhelming.

Colgate???? This afternoon Colgate?!? Colgate was cocky blind date man with a deep sexy voice. He came to me and welcomed me as if he owned the place. “Hi. You’re late,” were his first words eyeballing me from head to toe with a penetrating expression that made me want to shiver. I felt transparent as if he could read and see right through me. Shaken but still grounded, I ignored his remark and smiled speechless carried away in the greenness of his eyes. I was just enthralled.

We stared at each other without any word. It wasn’t awkward. It wasn’t uncomfortable. We needed that pause. Colgate nodded with a smile and added, taking my hand, “Would you follow me?” he asked. I let him lead the way and I couldn’t help but look at his derriere. Wow… Really? I thought… The man was fit. Colgate probably sensed my eyes and turned around, I quickly looked elsewhere but blushed purple.

He was really yummy to look at and made all the Zuma young men look like wannabe models.

We arrived at a discreet table and he asked me to have a seat, pulled my chair for me politely, and questioned rather icily, “How are you?”

I could tell he was upset. His eyes… Oh, my… I really felt like he could see me naked. I also felt like he could guess me or read in my mind. He had that certain sharp glaze that would make a liar feel uncomfortable and confess.

“I am fine, thanks. You?”

“I am great now that you’re here. Thank you for accepting my date,” He teased sarcastically.

I didn’t quite have the choice. He smiled and asked me, “What would you like to drink?”

“A Zuma Bellini,” I replied.

He ordered our drinks and our date started. Colgate insisted that he wanted to know me better and asked all the questions he could to find out more about me. For the first time in my dating history, I felt like someone was interested in me on a deeper level. He wasn't asking the annoying questions, such as “What do you do?” Where do you live?” Or “What do you like doing?”

But more questions like “Are you a marriage-minded lady, ready to pack her bags and move into commitment tomorrow? What’s the earliest memory you have of yourself as a child?” And “What’s your interpretation of your parents’ relationship when you were young?” 

Colgate’s questions made me question my life and myself. This inspired me to ask him even deeper questions and our date was amazingly beautiful, flirty, and emotional. My heart almost got out of my body a couple of times, his words were full of sense, poetry, and wit. It was another dating level I had never been in before. I absolutely loved it and for once, I felt valued.

Colgate was smart, funny, and incredibly handsome. Our date was punctured with silences, which were very intense and magical. I felt like his eyes were making love to me. I felt drawn by his whole body. I felt like I’d known him forever. There was something special in the air that night. I loved it and embraced it without building any wall of protection.

At the end of our date, Colgate called a cab for me. Upon its arrival, he kissed me on the cheek and I tried to hide how aroused I was by this simple kiss. I was home around 10 pm, he called to make sure that I was okay, and planned our next date (a word he wasn’t afraid to use) for the following week at the Ivy (again!). I couldn't wait. I still didn't know his real name.

Date No.2

Obviously, I liked the guy. I felt something special about him and couldn’t wait to see him again. I hadn’t liked a man that much since… I couldn’t even tell. I was both sexually and physically attracted to Colgate.

He occupied my mind all week, still mesmerised a week later by his words, his attitude, and his smell. I barely touched him, but I could also remember the softness of his kiss. God! I still didn’t know his real name. How could I find out? I decided to give him a call from a private number, hoping to get his voicemail. I used my business phone. It was ringing, ringing, ringing… Colgate picked up. Shit, I hung up. Well, it didn’t work this time. I also tried to call Stephanie but probably still scared of my anger, she didn't even pick up. Well, I didn't leave a voicemail and wanted to voice my happiness directly to her.

I was very much into him when we had our second date at the Ivy. I arrived right on time and he was there waiting for me at the table with a bottle of champagne. I was all smiling and so was he. He kissed me on the cheek, helped me with my coat, handed it over to the waiter, pulled my chair, and told me how beautiful I looked. I had to return the compliment.

I don’t know why but I sensed that something had changed. Upon our first date, I found him quite calm, confident, and relaxed. This time a weird energy was circulating. Colgate’s hands were shaking. I found him stressed yet still charming.

As soon as, I was sat and the waiter served me a glass of champagne, Colgate started talking about his passions: culture, history and geopolitics, and how his trips helped him to understand more of the world and its people. I tried to interrupt but there was no way I could say anything; he was like an old cassette machine playing with a stop button not functioning.

Then, I started to get annoyed. I tried to squeeze a little joke but Colgate was still very into his monologue. The worst was yet to come...

Being a financier, he went on for at least twenty minutes about the type of fund he owned while I zoned out, nodding my head at what I thought and hoped were the appropriate moments.

Colgate behaved as though on a job interview pitching himself. Maybe it was the champagne. I started to think… It was rushed, forceful, and boastful.

As an affectionate move, Colgate tried to touch my hand but hit the bottle of red wine that dropped on my white Alaïa bodi-con dress. OMG! Now, I was angry. I think my heart dropped as well. I looked at him in a fury but when I saw his angelic embarrassed face, I swallowed my anger.

Terribly embarrassed and blushing, Colgate called the waiter to help me out. The waiter brought all his equipment trying to make this stain disappear. No way. The wine was way too good to disappear. Colgate kept on apologising and telling me he'd pay for the dry cleaning.

I was upset. Suddenly, my attitude switched, like all my discontent and frustration of the dinner came out, and I was all boiling ready to explode, yet managed to say calmly to Colgate, "I'm sorry. I have to go."

I put some cash on the table and left without looking back. At the cloakroom, I realised Colgate was following me, begging me to stay and still apologising. I couldn't. I’d had enough.

“Listen,” I insisted. “This is fine. I'll dry clean myself. I'm tired and I should go home.” I took my jacket and went outside the Ivy in search of a cab.

Colgate was still behind me and again apologised, “I can’t let you pay for this. Please let me take care of this dress.”

Pissed, I removed my jacket, turned around, and asked him, “Unzip me."

“Excuse me?” he muttered, puzzled.

I looked back at him and I added, "Yes! You want to bring it to the dry cleaner. Take it now! I'll go home in lingerie. Or is it just your way to get to mine tonight?"

He looked at me in terror, powerless, and vexed. For the first time, I discovered a not-so-confident Colgate. And I realised how mean I was being. He was just being nice and polite. When did I forget that these kinds of men exist? I apologised and mentioned that I was tired and that I should probably just go home.

Colgate was powerlessly letting me go. I kissed him quickly on the cheek, jumped in the first cab, and as soon as I sat in, I wanted to cry my heart out. No reason. Just crying. This is what I did in my bed later until I got a phone call around 1 am from Colgate. This guy had the audacity to call me that late. I couldn't believe it. But I picked up.

"Hi Val, Cassius Daniels here." Cassius??!?! That was his name?

“Oh, Hi. Are you okay?”

“I am not okay. I am sorry; this date was a catastrophe.”

I couldn’t agree more but I abstained myself from saying anything. The call went silent for a second.

“Mmm.” I managed to say.

"Well, I want to see you again. I want to re-start date 2. Let's forget about tonight. In fact, we didn't meet tonight. Let’s set up our second date tomorrow. Would you do this for me?”

I was smiling. I didn’t even have the time to reply before he added, “I’ve been terrible. So terrible… I am so sorry. I was so excited to see you and wanted to impress you, but I acted like an idiot. I like you a lot, Val. Not only because you’re beautiful, but also, I like your personality, the way you speak, your accent, your attitude towards things in life, and all the things you’ve done. This person you ate with tonight wasn’t me; it wasn’t who I am. It is not what I stand for. Let’s have another date. I promise I won’t drop anything on you.” I heard him smiling.

“You didn't need to impress me, Cassius, I like you as you are and…" I just stopped talking and thought carefully of the words that I wanted to get out of my mouth.

I just added, “Let’s have this second date.”

“8pm?”

I nodded, then realised he couldn’t see me over the phone. I then gave an audible confirmation.

“I will let you know where during the day. Goodnight, Val.”

“Goodnight, Cassius.”

I grinned and hung up. Cassius was genuinely nervous and I sincerely wanted to give him a chance. I knew and I felt I wasn’t wrong. I knew that he was an interesting man. I felt like he was just himself: honest, passionate, and open on his feelings. I liked that, and for once, I had no doubt our second date would be great.

Date No.2 bis (?)

The Roof Gardens, I wished the date were elsewhere, as I was still haunted by the memories of Taylor. Well, it didn’t last long, as Cassius made it magical. We had a drink over a live gig called “A Night of Amy.” It was an evening of classic songs from Amy Winehouse performed by a full live band.

When we got on the Roof, the club being fairly packed, Cassius took my hand and led the way to grab our drinks. He was handsome, stylish jeans on, white shirt with a few unattached buttons. I was dying… I could guess his well-defined pectorals.

I couldn't help but watch. God if I were a man, would I stare at a lady’s boobs like this? I would certainly do. Pecs are my soft spots…

At first, we were at the front line of the stage. Cassius just behind me, holding my waist, smelt my hair and my neck. He held me so tightly to him that I could feel his penis on my back. This was sensual, arousing, and so romantic.

We then went to the terrace to have a few drinks and cool down a bit. When we came back to the stage, the room was packed. Petite, I couldn’t see anything. So, Cassius lifted me up, as lightly as a feather, and rose backwards over the heads of the crowd. Just him lifting me up was so sexy. I was all smiling, Cassius was ducking between my legs, supporting me on his shoulders, his hands holding me tight, firmly yet sensually. I had now a perfect view of the stage and it was incredible…

We left around 10 pm, took a cab to head at Balans to have a late dinner. On our way there, we spoke very vividly and passionately about how good the concert was. We both liked it. The date was flirty and fun. Cassius was back to his usual self to my biggest pleasure.

When we reached Piccadilly Circus, Cassius asked the cab to stop and I was like, “There’s no way I’m going to walk to Balans on Louboutin.” He replied, full of cheekiness, “You’re not going to walk.” When the cab left, Cass lifted me, and I started shouting like a playful kid. “What are you doing?” We were drunk. We were giggling and laughing. Cassius hailed a pedicab and romantically, we headed toward Balans. Upon our arrival at Balans, we were still giggling. I was really enjoying this date. I was happy I gave him a chance.

Over our dinner, Cass took me off-guard and asked what was my relationship history. For the first time of my life, I wasn’t ashamed to say that I was a divorcee. I took full accountability of my past. At first, I could tell, Cassius was a bit surprised but it didn’t seem to be a no-no for him. This date was more about our life perceptions, our relationships, and our emotions. We had so much in common in terms of values. Now, I understood why Stephanie really wanted to introduce him to me. I didn't want this date to stop and I was longing for his first kiss.

Which unfortunately, didn’t happen. What???? Cassius called a cab for me, kissed me on the cheek, and watched me hitting the quiet roads of London toward South Kensington.

Date No.3

Of course, Cassius and I had a third date. Well, in truth it was date 4.

I liked Cass and despite the first version of date 2, I was pretty much smitten. Cass and I would call each other regularly whilst we were both away overseas.

Date 3 took a while to organise. I went to Sweden, Cass went to New York, I came back to London and went to Paris, then Cass left for Geneva, and I went to New York. We hadn't met for at least five weeks and I was missing him like crazy.

I was in Miami and he was in New York when we organised a date in Washington. We both made an effort to meet again. I was glad he did because, at that time, I wasn't sure how much he liked me. The kissing situation didn't help either.

Cassius and I decided to have dinner together at the Blue Duck Tavern and have a drink somewhere downtown. We were obviously both tired from our trips and I had to take a flight back very early in the morning to Miami.

I was so excited that night to see him. We spoke for hours over the phone the night before and I knew that we would kiss that night. When I arrived, Cassius was waiting for me in the hallway. I jumped on him like a kid as soon as I recognised his slim silhouette. I was so happy to see him. I could tell that he was touched by my warm welcome. Cassius kissed me on the cheek. "I missed you, Miss Duval." I smiled and we went to the Chef's table.

Despite the call the night before, we still had a lot to catch up on and we were both very talkative that night. I first liked the fact that Cassius would give me advise on matters that were happening in my new entrepreneurial life, and I also really liked the fact that he asked for my advise or my point of view on different matters affecting his business life.

After the main, I went to the Ladies; I was all smiling and happy. It felt like we'd been together for ages, like an old couple in love. But at the realisation of these thoughts, my body started to shake; I felt dizzy, I wanted to vomit. I couldn't explain what was going on with me. Was it too fast? Was I scared? Was it even normal that after our fourth date, we were talking about our businesses lives like this? I was letting him get into my world and this was scary. I was breaking all my personal rules. I liked him; he knew it. I’d told him.

Sick and panicking, I stayed in the bathroom for 15 minutes. I was shaking. Now, I was the one nervous. I had to calm down. I wished I had some of Bianca’s weed at this stage.

I went back to our table, Cassius stood up like the gentleman he has always been, and I could tell he was worried.

"Are you okay?" he asked, caressing my face. Why was he so cute and perfect? I thought. I wanted to yell, say how much I loved him and how scary all this was but I just replied, “Yes, I am.”

But Cassius ordered, “No, you’re not. Let’s call a cab for you. Where are you staying? We’ll catch up in London. You have an early flight tomorrow anyway.” But I insisted, “No, no, I am okay. And I want a…” He didn’t listen. He paid the bill and in seconds, we were gone. Cassius decided to give me lift and told the chauffeur where to drop me. In the car, the atmosphere was silent. He was caressing my hair and kissing me all over my face. It was sweet. “You’ll be okay by tomorrow,” he reassured. I felt so safe in his arms. I was feeling way better already.

When we reached my hotel, Cassius’s driver opened the door for me. Cassius took my head and looked at me like I was the only one in the world. “Good night, Miss Duval,” kissing me on the forehead and disappearing in his car. What!!!!!!!! Again????? This wasn’t happening. He didn’t kiss me on date 4! Why? I ran into my hotel room. I needed a conf call with the ladies.

Inexperienced? Lacking confidence? Shy? Married? Wants an emotional connection and not just sex? He doesn’t kiss in public? Gay turning straight, because his family won't approve a gay marriage? Is he looking for a friendship? Is he a romantic? Is he just English? Is he waiting for you to kiss him? Were all the reasons possible and imaginable both Bianca and Camellia managed to give me? I hung up, desperate…

I decided it was time for me to have a talk with him. What were we doing together? And what if he liked me well enough, but wasn’t attracted to me? OMG! I hadn’t thought about this.

The only thought of this made me sad. I decided to think that Cassius was a romantic who doesn’t kiss in public with the need of an emotional connection before sex. Full stop!

Date No.4

Cass and I decided to go for a brunch on a Sunday. We had our lunch in our local Aubaine in South Kensington.

I still had in mind all the explanations given by the ladies. Cassius was talking to me, but, all I could think of or do, was analysing his attitude and gesture to catch a lie. I looked at his neck to check for any hickey. I looked at his ring finger. Lack of confidence? Nope, I didn’t think so. In fact, Cassius could be cocky sometimes.

Gay? Well, I had to ask him. “Are you bi?” I just broke in, whilst he was talking of... Well, I didn't know. “What?” he asked, puzzled by my question coming out of nowhere.

“Valérie, why are you asking this rather weird question?”

“Well, I just wanted to clarify your sexual orientation. Out of curiosity. You don’t know if I like women or men or both, for example. Maybe I am pansexual?”

“You are not pansexual, Val. Nor are you Bi. You’ll never settle for a woman. You wouldn’t survive without our sworn,” he said firmly and confidently, looking at me straight in the eyes. I blushed instantly at this remark. God, he was the one supposed to be uncomfortable, not me!

“For your information, I am straight. I adore women,” he smiled.

After our brunch, in an impromptu sort of way, we decided to go bowling in All Stars Lanes in Bayswater.

Again, that afternoon was marvellous. We played against each other first and like a gentleman, he let me win. I know he did! I suck at bowling. Bad and clumsy!

We played with another couple and we won because I'd met a woman worse than me. We celebrated with a drink locally and both started walking towards Chelsea.

Cassius was already talking about our next date. I wasn’t listening. I was preparing my speech about the non-kissing situation in my mind. Come on! Date 6!!!! It was taking too long.

We arrived in front of my building and I started. "Listen Cass…”

Cassius kissed me. He began with a wet sexy and gentle kiss. He looked at me profoundly and then licked my lips and introduced his tongue to my mouth and this was heaven. He then paused, looked at me right in the eyes. He kissed me more deeply the second time: a real French kiss. His warm arms were caressing my back. His wild green eyes were so sexy. Cassius took my head between both of his hands, looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time, and put his tongue deep into my mouth again. I was enjoying this. Lips against lips, tongue licking my lips, mine licking his, his tongue in my mouth, mine in his. His hand was holding firmly my face and my neck. Oh, my…

A shiver ran all through my body. I wanted to have sex with Cassius right then and to make the matter worse; I could feel on my stomach his mini him awakening. Cassius flashed a hundred-watt Colgate smile. “It’s getting late beautiful. I have to go; I’ll call you later.” Cassius kissed me goodbye, that night and I couldn’t wait to discover his body naked.