The next morning Cami found hot muffins on the table and Mrs. Grady kneading dough on the counter. “Wow! It smells great.”
“Thanks. I thought you girls could use some fresh bread and soup for dinner tonight. I’ll finish the cleaning when everyone’s gone for the day.” Mrs. Grady sprinkled a little more flour onto the counter and returned to kneading. “It sounds like things are getting busy at the hotel.”
“There’s always something going on,” Cami agreed. The hotel itself was only one of her worries. She spotted the plate of chocolate and crème cake rolls Rosemary had made the previous day. They were drizzled with chocolate sauce after the slices had been cut and were to-die-for delicious.
“Looks like one of you girls was busy yesterday,” Mrs. Grady commented, seeing Cami study the dessert.
“Rosemary gave Jonquil a lesson on the evils of snack cakes and the joys of cooking.” Cami turned her attention back to the split muffin in her hand and spread some jam on it. “If you ask me, Jonquil is still going to sneak in her Ho Hos—though the cake rolls are divine.” She took a bite of the muffin and made herself a cappuccino.
Mrs. Grady laughed. “My Robert is the same way about those cream-filled oatmeal cookie sandwiches. He says life’s too short not to enjoy it while you can.” Her smile turned wistful.
“How’s he doing?” Cami asked. In all of the craziness of the past few days, she hadn’t followed up on the calls she’d made to some friends in Chicago. She would have to take care of that when she reached the hotel.
“He’s holding on. We’re praying for a donor.” Mrs. Grady turned her attention back to her bread, using more force than before.
“I hope it goes well.” Cami sat in silence until it was time to leave. What could she say?
~*~
Cami sat at the desk in her room Sunday night, typing up notes for the next morning’s meeting. She could hear Jonquil’s music pounding through her closed bedroom door, and Rosemary called something down the stairs to the others, who were all gathered in the kitchen. Though Cami tried to block it all out, it wasn’t easy.
She wished she didn’t have to live in this house with so many people. Even in the monstrosity, she could never be alone. Not really. And yet, she didn’t feel part of the careful camaraderie they seemed to be developing. Nor did she want to. What was wrong with her, anyway? She had a come apart on Vince, had her world turned upside down, and was forced to live everyday with women whose very presence reminded her George had cheated constantly on her mother. And he kept secrets from her, big, important secrets that affected her after making her trust him with most of her own.
Cami thought about taking a trip back to Chicago after the meeting wrapped up the next day. She needed some breathing space. She had a few things in Chicago that needed attention. The break might be perfect.
When she heard a knock at her door, she nearly growled. “Who is it?” “Lana.”
She forced herself to relax. “Come in.”
Lana entered and shut the door behind her. “You’re always hiding out in here whenever someone else is around.”
“It’s easier. And quieter. Mostly.” She threw a dirty look at the door as another song started on Jonquil’s cranked stereo.
Lana managed a half-hearted smile, which worried Cami. She saved her document, then gave her sister her full attention. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?”
“I wasn’t going to tell you.” Lana sat on the edge of the bed. “I was never going to tell anyone, but I think maybe . . .” She sighed and rubbed her nose. “I knew Dad was cheating on Mom.” She knotted her hands together on her lap, but she held Cami’s gaze. “I’ve known for years.”
Cami felt like everything was crumbling around her all over again. “What do you mean? You knew and never told me? Since when? How?”
“I worked with Dad more than you did. Closer. I’d seen the way he checked out other women sometimes. I didn’t like it, but I thought, you know, you can’t blame someone for looking. He was a guy, after all, even if I didn’t like to think of him that way. It was a couple more years before I saw him with someone, saw the way she touched him, the way they couldn’t seem to stop staring at each other, and then he kissed her. I almost threw up.” She wrapped her arms around her stomach, bending over slightly and her face paled.
“Mom was still alive.” Cami was certain—it wouldn’t have bothered Lana nearly so much if their mom hadn’t still been alive.
“Yes.” Lana stood, moving to the window, then back again. “I confronted him, and he denied it. When I told him I knew, that I’d seen him with the bimbo, he told me it was none of my business; he loved Mom but he needed more.” She returned to the window, staring out at the lowering sun. “I put in applications everywhere to get away from Dad, was thrilled when the opportunity came up at the Ritz-Carlton.”
Cami remembered well her shock that Lana had considered, even for a moment, going to work for someone else. The fact she’d taken the job had been incomprehensible. It hadn’t made sense at the time. “You said you wanted to broaden your horizons. You didn’t tell me.” That was one more slap in the face in a growing pile of betrayals she couldn’t handle.
“No.” She turned back to face Cami, leaning against the window. “At first I couldn’t imagine saying it aloud, admitting it, because I was so angry and confused. Then I couldn’t tell you because you deserved to be able to think well of him, even if he didn’t deserve it. We both thought the sun rose and set with Dad. He wasn’t around as much as we’d have liked, and now we know why, but he loved us, talked to us, cheered us on through everything. I didn’t want to take that away from you.”
Didn’t want to take it away from her. What was she, a freakin’ china doll? Cami’s hands clenched and she set them on her lap, fighting to stay calm. She needed all the answers before she let herself blow up. “What changed your mind? You came back to work for him.”
“It was seeing him with Mom when she was sick. He sat by her bedside, hardly ever left it for anything, doted and took care of her, loved her.” Lana lifted a hand, shook her head. “No, it didn’t make what he did right. Things between us were never the same again. I didn’t want them to be—I couldn’t trust him anymore. There’s no excuse good enough for him to step out on her, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive him for everything he gave to those other women when he should have given it to Mom.”
Cami took in the explanation, considered and felt more knotted up inside. “So why are you telling me now?” She wished she didn’t know—the last thing she wanted was to be angry at Lana as well. She needed someone she could trust, turn to when everything else was falling down around her.
Lana walked over, picking up Cami’s hand. “Because I think sometimes you hold yourself back from the others.” She gestured with her head to indicate the women downstairs still kicking up noise and confusion. “Because you still blame them, not for being born, but for knowing something so big when you didn’t.”
She hurried to clarify before Cami could respond, “I didn’t know about the other sisters. He never mentioned it, but I knew he hadn’t been faithful, suspected it wasn’t a one-time thing, and I never told you. You can’t blame them for knowing it, if you don’t blame me. They deserve better. You deserve better than holding back from everyone. If we want to make this year anything better than crossing days off a calendar, we need to try being the kind of friends with them that we could have been growing up. Don’t discount everyone because your pride has been pricked.”
Cami pressed her fingertips between her brows and closed her eyes. She couldn’t think. It was too much all at once. “Thanks for telling me.”
Silence stretched between them. “Are you okay?”
Was she? Cami didn’t know. What did it mean to be okay? She wasn’t sure anymore. “I’ll be fine. I think I need a drive.” She stood, snatching up her car keys. She needed the fresh air blowing against her face, quiet, blessed, impossible to find quiet.
“Cami—”
“Please, don’t. I need some time to think. Time when I don’t have to see the wallpaper Dad picked out for me, or listen to the music pounding through the walls. I need a break. I’ll be back later.” She snagged her purse and hurried out of the room, leaving Lana standing alone behind her.