Chapter Fourteen
Into the Cold
I stared moodily out into the heavy falling snow. It hadn’t let up all night. In an hour it would be close to two feet in depth. The best thing for us to do was to stay holed up in this cozy shelter, while the storm raged outside.
That was what common sense told me anyway. My instincts were saying something completely else, keep moving. But why? I’d never doubted the instincts that I had lived by and now was not a good time to start.
“Pack up we’re heading out after breakfast.”
Trent looked at me in surprise and then back out at the heavy falling snow, “Is this some kind of gut instinct or something, because frankly I don’t see the sense of it!”
“You could say that.” I said grimly.
Trent grimaced, but moved back inside to pack up.
After breakfast we headed out into the deep snow. None of us were happy about my forced exodus from the snug cave, but I think I gave myself a harder time about it than either Trent or Deshavi were willing to comment to.
Trent did the lion’s share of the trail breaking through the heavy snow. I came next with Deshavi following behind me. This excursion out into the world of snow and cold was a lot to put upon Deshavi’s newfound strength of the past day, but she stuck up with it. It was good to see that the will to survive still burned brightly within some part of her.
We found no shelter that day, as darkness began to fall and we were forced to take what shelter we could in a grove of pine trees. It was well after dark before my shaking fingers managed to get a fire going and it was a pitiful one at that and it did little to warm us. We spent the long miserable night hunched around it shivering. I could hear Deshavi’s teeth chattering so badly I feared all her teeth would be chipped off by morning. Trent tried to draw closer to her, but she wouldn’t have it, still too intent on punishing him it seemed.
Late into the night I huffed out, “Sorry.”
I’d said it to no one in particular and yet everyone, including myself at the same time. This was without a doubt the most stupid thing I’d ever done!
We started back out before it was light; out into the still falling snow. Would it ever stop? One thing was for sure, if we didn’t find shelter this night, we were going to be even worse off in the morning than we were in this sorry moment.
All day we fought our way through the deep snow. My respect for Trent already being considerable, only deepened at the Herculean effort he was putting out to break track for me and Deshavi. My granddaughter was likewise impressing me, but I wasn’t impressing myself at all. I was struggling to hold it together and keep putting one foot forward after the other.
I had to be strong for this young couple, but all I felt was a deep-seated weariness that seemed to eat away at what little strength of resolve I had left. I was about all done in, but they were many miles yet to go before my Deshavi was safe and I wanted to see her happy again.
Silently, I railed against the God of Heaven and Earth. Why had it come to this? Was my whole life to be consumed by bitterness? Was all my strength to be poured out on wasted endeavors? Where in this twisted maze of life that I had walked through, having to stumble my way, was there hope to be found that things would ever get any better?
When I found joy it was taken from me. When I found peace it was only to watch it be destroyed. When I found hope it was only to see it crushed.
I’m only a weak mortal combination of dust and breathe Lord!
Why must my short days be consumed by sorrows? Where are Your promises? I have been faithful!
So why haven’t You?
A warm breeze touched my cheek and I stopped in the snow that was up to my waist now, already regretting my accusatory tone towards my Creator. Why was it when things got bad all faith seemed to fail and one turned into a whining ungrateful brat? I was such a failure! As a man of faith. As a father and now as a grandfather. Perhaps it was time to die. What had Job’s wife advised him to do, ‘curse God and die.’
I couldn’t bring myself to do that. I knew better than that. I may not be happy with the sum total of my life’s achievements and experiences, but it wasn’t God’s fault.
Neither Trent or Deshavi had noticed that I no longer followed them. The warm breeze touched my cheek again. I was losing my touch on reality. I glanced down and I realized that at some point, I had fallen to my knees weighed down by my heavy pack and the sorrows of my life, not to mention my cursed old age!
Deshavi’s fingers were at my face and I looked up into her worried eyes. She was saying something, but her words seemed to be coming from far away. Trent was pulling my pack off, when I felt that warm breeze again. It wouldn’t be long now.
Trent abruptly stopped and started looking around. Something seized up in me and I reached out to grab at him, “You felt it too?” I croaked out past cold lips.
He nodded and with their help I got back up. I reached for the pack, but Trent dragged it out of reach and started breaking trail off to the side of our original route. Before I could step forward after him Deshavi was at my side, with an arm slipped around me for support. I had to admit it felt good to have a little help. Not having the pack on was a relief to, but I didn’t know how Trent was managing it.
Trent headed across a little open area towards a copse of trees. Once in the trees the landform changed abruptly. The hill, or what had looked like one on the approach, was actually sharply split into two halves. More warm air came drifting out toward us from the narrow rift in the hill. The closer we got the snow got less deep, until we stumbled in the muddy bare ground of the forest that was completely free of snow.
We walked up the rift, which had steep stony sides and was covered overhead by the surrounding canopy of the forest to either side of the rift in the hill. It was well above freezing within the sharp sided little canyon, in fact it was almost balmy feeling. The snow we were covered with began to melt away rapidly. Could this turn of good fortune really be possible?
A big buck stood up with a bugle of alarm followed by two does.
“Shoot them!” I called out to Trent, but he was already fumbling with a rifle, as he tried to get it unencumbered from his pack. It was the automatic function of the rifle that spewed enough bullets to bring two of the deer down, other than any ability of his cold fingers to aim the rifle at the time.
We had shelter, we had warmth, and now we had food. God had provided for us bountifully within the midst of the storm. I fell to my knees praising God for this place of sanctuary in the midst of the wilderness, even as the snow continued to fall outside, completely covering up our rough path through the snow.
One day earlier.
Chatta held the gun out before him, and with flashlight in hand stepped into the cave. He was soon flanked by the others, who were similarly armed. They weren’t here!
How could that be? Who would leave a place of shelter and go out into such a storm? It was crazy and yet his adversary had kept him from claiming the victory that should have been his by right for pressing through the storm to reach this place. Chatta had been sure that given their general direction that they would find this place and be waiting here for him. They had been here though. He reached down and felt at the ashes of the fire, cold.
He went to the mouth of the cave and stared out at the falling snow. In the push to reach this cave he had lost one of his fellow trackers, who had fallen over an unexpected ravine and broken his neck. Several of the hired guns had come down with frostbite and had been left to make their own way back through the snow. They would be dead, by now, most likely to. All that sacrifice to attain the prize and it wasn’t to be had! It was somewhere out there in the drifting whiteness.
There were no other shelters for miles around, which meant that his queries were most likely frozen to death to, but somehow he doubted it. They could be anywhere out there and now he had completely lost the trail. His own life could be on the line now, as his superiors didn’t take failure lightly.