Chapter Two
Forgot Again
I stared out over the forest around and below me, as the majesty of the sun rose above the horizon and lit up the land with its fiery light. This was my favorite place to watch the glory of my Creator’s sun rise upon the Earth. Morning mist rising off the river below sparkled brightly, as the sun increasing in its power began to burn the mist away from the land. Bald eagles soared off of their lofty perches only to then plunge downward toward the cold waters of the river that teamed with fish.
Warmed by the risen sun, the chill of the night finally left my bones. It was a new morning still fresh with promise. I pulled the dog-eared Bible from my pocket and opening it I began to read about the Israelites entering the promise land. I came to the account of the spies sent to spy out the land and with the biblical account of that I came upon my namesake, Caleb.
My mother had always been taken by the Old Testament hero and so she had named me for him, Caleb Longtree. It was a lot to live up to and I had tried, but I didn’t think that I had managed to measure up in God’s eyes the way that the original Caleb had. If I had, surely my life would have been more blessed like his had been? My wife had died giving birth to my firstborn son. My son had died in a war that no one even cared of or knew anything about. My daughter-in-law was a silly drunken sort of a woman I could not stand to be around and my granddaughter was lost in the rebelliousness of the ways of the world. Surely in comparison to the biblical Caleb I was cursed where he had been blessed.
I had spent all my days seeking to live by honor and yet at sixty four years of age I was left without any joy to call my own. What had the purpose of it all been? I was feeling sorry for myself again, which was wrong, as I had plenty to be grateful for, but in this moment it was hard to remember those things, when the torment of what I didn’t have was so great.
Would it ever get better or would the long slide downhill just continue?
There didn’t seem to be any answer forthcoming from beyond the heavens and so I sat there in a bitter sort of solitude missing out on the beauty of the unfolding spring morning. Try as I might I could not find anything with which to motivate myself that things would ever get better. Realizing the depth of my depression I sank off my rocky seat onto my knees, as my hands folded together. My lips fumbled in a prayer, in search of release from the oppression that I felt that I was under.
I was in the midst of that tearful prayer, when an alien noise made its rude appearance into the tranquillness of the morning songbird’s lullaby. My hand reached into my coat pocket and brought out the screeching modern nuisance that was my cell phone. I thought I had left it back at the cabin, but apparently I was not so fortunate. I held it for a moment as a savage urge almost overwhelmed me to bash the contrary device off of a rock.
I sighed and flipped it open, and saw that the call was from Ted.
“Yes?”
“I disturbed your morning vigil didn’t I? Sorry about that! You didn’t forget about picking up my grandson today though, did you?”
I grimaced, because I had forgotten, yet one more sign that I was getting old.
“I’m on my way.”
The voice on the other side chuckled, but didn’t say anything and I ended the call with a snap of the phone. I swiftly pocketed the Bible and started making my way back down to my pickup that was about a mile off from me.
Ted Rogerson was one of the few people I had bothered to cultivate a friendship with. He, like me, was not held in high regard by those of my people. I was something of a maverick to my people. They didn’t understand me, but they respected me. Ted they disliked mainly because of his profession. He was an archaeologist and his point of interest in these parts was the study of the first dwellers of the continent, which may not of been strictly Native American in origin, as was commonly acknowledged by all in academia.
His research and study bothered a great many among the native tribes in the area, as for me I could not have cared less as to who was here first. In the Bible that I read it stated that all of mankind had started with two people, so what did it matter which descendents settled here and there first?
Only the problem was that it did matter to a lot of people. Such research threatened the continued income gained by Native Americans from casinos, not to mention free perks like free college and tax leniencies. It was a big deal to those who depended on such incomes, but I had no stake in that game, as I had never taken a paycheck for being a Native American.
I was proud of my heritage and grateful to live where I did. Taking payment for being something that I already was far and above anything money could have ever bought would’ve only cheapened the traditions of my forefathers. My forefathers would never have understood the idea of being paid for what you were, as a point of ancestry, out of the sense of some past wrongdoing on somebody else’s part long since dead. They would have seen it simply like this, ‘you lived, you fought, and you died, hoping for a good life somewhere in between’.
My life hadn’t been so great, but it wasn’t over yet either. With that welcome shot of enthusiasm about the future I increased my pace to reach the truck. As I swung around trees and skipped over logs I reveled in the fact, that although I may not remember as much as I was starting to forget, I at least still had my health and the ability to do something dangerous.
Ted’s grandson’s visit meant a lot to him and I mentally chastised myself for forgetting about it since Ted had talked of little else in the past two weeks. Ted couldn’t drive legally anymore due to a heart condition and so I pretty much chauffeured him around and fetched supplies for him.
The old Dodge pickup fired to life and I started beating my way back down the mountain, headed towards the town that was a good many miles away. I would be late, a thing I did not like in the least. Punctuality was one of my core beliefs and the thought of failing my own standard had me pressing my foot down on the throttle more than it was healthy to do so on the rough path, for either me or the truck.
I pulled up at the bus stop. The bus had already left and I saw no sign of the grandson. I got out and went into the café beside the bus stop.
Patricia Stearns the café owner saw me from behind the counter and smiled, “I didn’t expect to see you today Caleb.”
I shrugged, “Apparently I forgot I was to be here too. Did you by chance see anyone get off the bus? I’m supposed to pick up Ted’s grandson, who’s come to visit.”
She nodded, “Yes I did see a man get off, but he didn’t come in here. I think he headed further uptown over towards the stables maybe.”
“Thanks Patty.”
I turned to go, when she called my name out softly and I already knew from the tone of her voice that something must be wrong. I turned back my looked expectant of bad news.
“Deshavi’s in town. She got in last night. I thought you might like to know.”
“Thank you again Patty.”
I pushed back through the door and headed for the stables. Confrontation was in the air.
As I drew closer to the corral I could see a bunch of people were gathered at the corral no doubt eager to ride on a fine spring day in the mountains. My eyes singled one figure out from the rest. All I knew about Ted’s grandson was that he had recently quit being a Navy Seal. Armed with that knowledge it was easy to pick him out the crowd of people gathered around the corral area, who were mostly tourists come to see the Native American way of life for themselves.
The grandson stood out like a wolf among sheep and my eyes appreciated the subtleties of character that radiated out from him. He was big like me, and it wasn’t a beefed up on steroids combined with crazy workouts big either. It was a natural bigness with strength to go along with it. Even relaxed against the corral post he looked coiled and ready to spring into action at a moment’s notice. He was ready for action, which bespoke of a long-term exposure to danger.
It was hard to relax after a life like that, I should know, as I’d lived like that myself once upon a time. You truly never do get over the feeling of needing to be vigilant, in order to avoid a bullet in the back. In some ways I thought he was already aware of me, if the supple tensing across his shoulders was to be interpreted right. I had to say I liked what I saw in this grandson of Ted’s. This man was a warrior. It had been some time since I’d truly seen another one of my own kind.
I stepped up to the corral fencing and slowly his gaze turned to study me. There was no contempt in his eyes in regard to my evident age and unlikelihood of me being a threat to his more ebullient youth. He measured me indepthly with his eyes and I had to admit to myself that I had not expected to receive such a compliment today. He looked away, but it wasn’t a dismissal or sign of disrespect. I rather got the idea that he was content to share his space with me, until I proved threatening. This was I had to admit rather fun, what a head thinker he was!
It was an old game that I hadn’t played in a long time. Something attracted his gaze and all his focus left me. Curiosity drove me to see what had so captured his attention. But of course it was my granddaughter, Deshavi. I might have known, the day had been unraveling rather oddly and now this was yet one more surprise to add to the growing list.
I glanced back at the young warrior, only to see him locked into a course that could only see him into ship wrecked disaster. It was reminiscent of somebody accelerating into a sharp curve with no guard rails and a sudden flat tire. Did I warn him or let him find out for himself how treacherous the waters could be?
His hand visibly tightened on the railing and as a whole his body seemed to be seized by some powerful urge. My eyes flickered back over to Deshavi and I could’ve beaten her. It was bad enough how inviting she made herself look with the clothes that she wore, but this was unseemly, as it was distasteful for an unmarried girl to act toward a stranger. To start, her jeans looked as if they’d been poured onto her legs. In the process of saddling her mount she’d dropped something clumsily, only Deshavi wasn’t clumsy by nature at all. She had bent completely over directly in front of Ted’s grandson and it was a siren’s call to outright for any red blooded man to ignore.
Her wantonness toward a complete stranger only underscored how far she’d strayed from the values that I had tried to teach and instill in her. A word of warning was required.
“You do know that she’s playing you?” Deshavi had since straightened back up and the man’s eyes came back to mine.
His gaze measured me once again thoughtfully. “And how’s that?”
“You wouldn’t be her first or likely her last.”
“You know her?”
“She’s my granddaughter, other than that connection I’m not sure I can say anything, as to whether I know her or not.”
A dark red flush stung the man’s well tanned features and I was glad to see it, even as I was astounded by his quickly spoken words.
“I have to apologize. I was….I was….”
“Taken in by the sight of my granddaughter’s backside?” I filled in for him.
His face got redder, “Yes.” He admitted truthfully.
Incredibly it occurred to me that this man did not know how rare he was. He was apologizing and obviously embarrassed upon being confronted by a close family member on a matter that most men would have laughed or joked about, considering it to be a free look and nothing they should feel guilty about. An understandable joke among men if you will, but that was not how this man had reacted to being caught.
“You must have an exceptional mother.” I said knowingly.
His face only got redder at the mention of his mother. “What makes you say that?”
“Someone taught you right from wrong at some point, enough so that even after years of exposure to I imagine all sorts of sites you still have the grace to be embarrassed when caught dwelling on something your eyes should’ve skipped over.”
He looked away perhaps seeing some of those sites of his own again, “You’re right I do have a great mother.”
His expression turned rueful, “And she did teach me better than this.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself, there’s a fine line between looking too much versus being unable to ignore the beauty of what God meant to be noticed by a male.”
His expression grew puzzled, “I’m not sure I quite understand you?”
I smiled, “That makes two of us.”
I held out my hand, “Caleb Longtree and if I don’t miss my guess your Trent Rogerson?”
He nodded, even as he confirmed, “You’re the man that’s to take me to my grandfather?”
“One and the same.” I affirmed, as we shook hands.
His handshake was just one more thing I was growing to like about this man.
“Are we heading out now?” He asked.
“Let’s eat lunch first at that café by the bus stop. If you don’t mind I’m going to stay here for a moment, as I need to speak to my granddaughter about something.”
He only to quickly picked up the single bag he had brought with him and headed out toward the café.
An idea had begun to emerge in my consciousness. I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad one, but some instinct bade me go through with it. I turned back to Deshavi. She walked around the back end of the horse her eyes in search of the source of her flirtatious interest. She found me instead. Her cheeks pinked and she made to turn to go back around the horse, but I motioned for her to come and reluctantly she obeyed.
She no doubt expected another sermon, which is why I think it was a surprise to her when all I said was, “You’re going to eat lunch with us before we leave.”
“Who’s us?” She asked puzzled.
“Me and the man, whom you’ve acted little better in front of, than a broodmare in estrus would behave with a stallion around.”
Deshavi’s face turned beet red and it was a relief to see that shame was an emotion that could still be evoked in her.
“Tie your horse off and come.”
She just stood there and for a moment it looked like she was about to cry.
I sighed and gentled my tone down some. “Go tie your horse off Deshavi.”
She turned and did as I said and then slipped through the fence to walk beside me toward the café. She kept side glancing at me and then finally she stopped and so did I.
“Why? If you disapprove of me so much, then why this? Are you trying to embarrass me?”
“No Deshavi, you know I wouldn’t do that, perhaps as a child but not now. You’re an adult and you make your own decisions, even as you have to live with them.”
“Then why are you making me do this?” She exclaimed.
I decided to give her the simple truth, “Because for once Deshavi you’ve actually picked out a man with real substance to him. I wouldn’t mind seeing you matched up with him at all.”
Her face reflected genuine shock, as her mouth fell open.
I gently pushed up on her chin closing her mouth, as with a slight smile I started out for the café again. She caught up and I could still see that she was trying to figure out my sudden role reversal.
“But he’s white! I thought you would want me to be with someone of our own blood?”
I snorted out loud. She knew me better than that surely?
“A long time ago Deshavi I found out that regardless of skin color or heritage that there’s an essential fact about mankind, we all bleed red. We’re all capable of doing the absolute worst with the time we have or the best. I wouldn’t care if the human species interbred so much that there was a different colored child in every family, what matters is in the heart of the person, not what’s on the outside.”
A moment passed and I glanced over at her pensively expressioned face. Was the little girl that had tried so earnestly to please me and do everything I had asked of her still in there somewhere?
Maybe. Would this work?
When dealing with a wild and unruly stallion it often helped to bridal him together with a steady mare, which had the effect of calming him down and taking some of the baulk out of his actions. Would it work the other way around?
Would hooking a filly with the bit in her teeth up with a steady stallion have the same result?
I smiled ruefully to myself; I should know the answer to that one. A wise father had once pawned an equally wild daughter as Deshavi on me once. That had worked out rather well. Oh to God that it still was!
I missed her so much! It didn’t seem to matter how much time passed by, the ache in my heart never left me. I pulled myself valiantly, out of the depressive influence of my lost past, as we neared the café. I had to admit I was rather sort of beginning to enjoy myself. Lunch should be interesting.
“Deshavi could you please do me a favor?”
“What?” Came her soft reply.
“Please act like a lady.”
Out of the corner of my eye I saw her hand reach up and button the top several buttons of her shirt up. Things hadn’t looked this good in years, in fact not since the whole rebellion thing had gotten started. I held the door open for her and she passed by me into the café. Instantly the two of them were locked on each other like a missile and its target, only which one in this pairing was the missile and which was the target?
I hoped I hadn’t just blown up a good man. Deshavi sat across from Trent. Their eyes never wavered from each other. I sat down between them, as Patty with a notepad and raised eyebrows approached. I gave her a big wink unable to contain myself. When had the boring old today exploded into this fireworks extravaganza?
Eye contact was briefly broken in order to order food, but it was back with renewed intensity. There was no conversation as we ate. I glanced up to see Patty give me a meaningful thumbs up, from her side of the café counter. I wasn’t ready to call it a victory yet, but prospects were definitely looking up.
The truck ride to Ted’s place was also rather silent. Trent just gazed out the open window at the passing scenery. I sensed that he was almost angry about something. I thought back to when I had been a young man. I think I knew what the source of his frustration was. He’d had his future all planned out, but now things were changing on him. He glanced at me and then away and I sensed and unasked question.
“Go ahead and ask it.” I said.
He glanced back at me, “Are you trying to set me up with your granddaughter?”
Now there was a question. How to best answer it and remain truthful?
“Do you like her?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Well then you have my permission to find out.”
His frustration seemed to only go up a notch, with that cryptic answer. He didn’t know it yet, but he was already committed to seeing where the road he was embarked on would lead.
“Can I give you some advice that was given to me once?”
He was silent for a while.
“Okay what is it?” He asked his tone reluctantly curious to hear what I had to say.
“Whatever you do don’t have sex with her.”
“What?” He exploded with in shocked surprise.
So I started to repeat myself, but he waived me to silence.
“I heard what you said!”
More silence followed.
“Why?”
I gave him a reproving look, “Well for two reasons. The first and primary reason being that you shouldn’t be doing anything that requires two rings before you have two rings.”
He flushed a little and I let that sink in for a while.
“That aside why not?” He asked.
Now that was a sad statement of intent. What a fallen world we lived in.
“The second reason being, that if you give into her, you’ll be little better in her eyes than all her other conquests have been. Be the man, stay in control and make her come to you or else she’ll come to dominate you and you’ll lose whatever self respect you have for yourself.”
Trent was shaking his head, “But I don’t want to get married yet!”
I nodded, “I know the place you’re in right now. You just got out of a very structured environment, where all your decisions were made for you. Now you’re out on your own and it’s as if you landed down stranded on an alien planet. Somehow you have to go from living dangerously and killing people to taking out the trash and peaceful nature walks in the park. It’s not easy.”
“It sounds like you’re talking from experience.”
I glanced over at him, “You could say that.”
I waited a little while before I drove the point home, “Believe it or not the best and most useful tool to help you both fit in and better yet enjoy your life is a wife. A good wife is much more than just a good lay when you want it. She’ll be there to comfort you, when you wake up drenched in sweat in the middle the night. She’ll be reason enough to hold a boring job down, in order to provide her with the things she needs and thus giving you a routine to fall into that you’ll receive respect from eventually. She’ll be there for you to tell your worst fears to and if she’s good she’ll never laugh at you for doing so. She’ll be someone you can trust, as much as, you did your best buddy, who always had your back. She’ll help you make a life together that you’ll be able to become so busy in that there won’t be any time for troubling thoughts. She’ll be, along with your children, the force that gets you up every morning. In short a good wife is one of the most precious things a man can ever receive in life.”
I grew silent remembering my own history.
“She’s gone?”
I glanced over at him, “Yes, for a long time now. I’d do almost anything to have one more moment with her, but some things are truly gone forever when they’re gone.”
The mood inside the truck had gotten too serious.
“Another thing about a great wife is you can’t beat the unlimited sex, when it comes to getting rid of tension.”
I caught a glimpse of a smile as he quickly glanced back out his window.
“I’m serious! It’s the best cure for tension that’s still legal in all fifty states and it doesn’t even kill brain cells!”
We are almost to Ted’s place.
“Deshavi isn’t good wife material, at the moment, but if you’re interested and you wait, as the good book says ‘all good things come to those who wait upon the Lord and put their trust in Him’. Without faith Trent, you truly are alone. You need to get that firmly in place before anything else in your life.”
I heard Trent softly mutter out the window, “I’m just here to visit my grandfather.”
I smiled and just shook my head. It was never that simple, when a woman like Deshavi was involved. He may be here to just visit his grandfather, but all that was filling his mind right now was the image of my granddaughter and her skintight jeans and open looks of invitation.
We pulled up at the dig, such as it was. For all intensive purposes Ted was retired from archaeological practices, other than idle tinkering. He hid out here in the wilderness to escape from being thrown into an old folks home. I couldn’t say that I blamed him much. When my time came I’d walk out into the snow, crawl if I had to and just be done with it.
Ted wasn’t in his cabin so I beckoned Trent to follow me. We made our way past old spoil piles into the forest. I slipped through the forest easily already sure of where I would find Ted.
“Special forces?”
I looked back at Trent, “Something like that.”
“Does Deshavi have anybody else other than you?”
I smiled to myself; he was hooked line and sinker he was.
“She has a mother that’s no good. My son died in battle when she was three. I cared for them both after that. I’m not sure where I went wrong, but Deshavi is very much a rebel child. She’s gotten herself mixed up into some bad habits.”
“Drugs?” He asked, but I shook my head no.
“I don’t think so. She steals stuff and you saw how free she is with herself.”
“And this is the girl you want me to hook up with?” He asked sarcastically.
“Hey!” I said good-naturedly, “You’re the one that seems interested. I’m just giving you some friendly advice.”
I saw Ted, the archaeologist hard at work, fishing up ahead.
Trent called out to his grandfather and Ted dropped his pole into the water, as he turned toward the voice he recognized. I stood on the periphery as the two men greeted each other warmly with a hug. I sensed a story somewhere here. Ted was Trent’s maternal grandfather and yet both men shared the same last name, which meant one of three things. Trent’s mother had him out of wedlock. She was a widow and had changed her name back, but it was rare to change the name of the son, in such a case. Or lastly she was divorced and Trent had decided to keep his mother’s maiden name instead of his father’s.
In any case it couldn’t have been a very secure childhood, but he seemed to have turned out fine despite it. I let myself be drawn into the activity of catching up and the hours went by swiftly.
Trent, lured away by the huge fish jumping in plentiful supply in the stream had moved downriver to fish us dinner, while I and Ted sat and watched. Under pressure by Ted’s relentless pestering I’d divulged what had happened in town.
It was easy to see how a grandparent could be proud of Trent, but I couldn’t say the same of Deshavi. If our two houses were joined by these two, I couldn’t help but think I was supplying the lesser half of the union. I said as much to Ted.
“Oh you’re too hard on the girl Caleb!”
“Am I?” I asked, because I had often wondered if it wasn’t all my fault for the way Deshavi had turned out.
Ted chuckled, “Probably not, but it sounded good. That is until I saw you start blaming yourself. You were as involved in rearing that girl up right, as any parent could ever be Caleb. Kids make their own choices in life. We all do at some point, sometimes they aren’t good ones, but while breadth remains there is hope though. Perhaps this is the chance Deshavi needs in order to see the light and stop hurting herself.”
“Or the chance of seeing another soul corrupted.” I added, darkly beginning to regret my matchmaking efforts.
“I’ll have you know Caleb that we Rogersons are made of sterner stuff than most!”
“I hope so.”
Trent came back with several fish and dinner preparations were underway.
Shadows were beginning to form when I brought a small hand carved whistle out from a pocket and gave a series of calls that were too high pitched in frequency to be audibly heard. Trent watched on curiously as I waited. Several minutes went by and then in the distance I saw Windstalker coming at a full gallop. As he drew near it looked like he wouldn’t stop, but he did at the last moment.
He reared up on his hind legs and pawed at the air, as only a stallion would. He came back down with a crash and then was upon me in search of a sugar cube or carrot. I chuckled and rewarded him with a sugar cube. Windstalker was a full blood Appaloosa stallion. He was a whitish gray with the telltale black spots on the rump. He had the characteristic large size of the breed as well. My father’s before me had created this breed of horse and had handed it down generation after generation and it was with pride that I carried it on.
I turned to Trent, who was leaning on the cabin railing taking in the magnificent stallion. I dug in my pants pocket and brought out the truck keys, which I flipped to him. He caught them, with a question reflected in his eyes.
“In case you want to visit the town or do a little sightseeing.”
I took a firm grasp of Windstalker’s mane and swung upward astride him and took off down the valley as fast as Windstalker could go and for a moment I was free of everything.
It was almost dark when I reached my home nestled in among the craggy rocks and great trees of the private mountain that I called home. I slid off of Windstalker and smacked him on the rump, and he took off for the lower meadow, where his lady friends were. I made my way up the native stone stairs to the porch of my cabin home. I saw Deshavi stand up from a porch swing in the evening gloom. She looked anxious about something and after my initial surprise at seeing her here I guesse