Beginning at the End by Nicole Duffeck - HTML preview

'Sure thing.' Nicole replied taking the key from him before returning to her desk. Nicole hadn't noticed that in taking the key from Gavin her fingers had brushed lightly on his palm, but Gavin had. He rubbed his palms together roughly, thinking he was too old to be ticklish as the gooseflesh on his arms receded.

The next morning Nicole arrived at work just as Gavin was getting off the elevator. She looked at him confused and in response he told her the jury came back with a verdict and he was going to the court house. Dying to ask a thousand questions Nicole restrained herself, saying only, 'Good luck.' As the elevator doors slid shut, hiding the wan smile that he bravely tried to adopt.

The office was in a buzz, though one that was both anticipatory and solemn at the same time. Very little work was done, and the work that was done was inconsequential and easily left mid-way through at a moment's notice. No one wanted to be unavoidably detained when the phone call came in.

An hour later the receptionist came out from behind her desk and called attention. A hush that would have done a funeral parlor proud descended on the audience as she gravely assessed them all. In a reserved yet clearly audible voice she announced that Gavin called and said the jury found the defendant not liable. A stunned silence filled the office then was immediately followed by low murmurs. Their side had lost the case.

A half an hour later Gavin returned. Nicole tried to say she was sorry things went the way they did but she may as well have been trying to talk to a bus. He paid her no attention but instead stalked directly to his office and closed the door with such force the pictures on the outside wall rattled.

Nicole's nerves were equally rattled as she stared at his door, wondering what she should do next. Her own words, spoken to Gavin days earlier came back to her mind 'I found the facts and the clauses and the stipulations and if it doesn't hold up in court, if it falls, I should be the one there to either fix it or take the blame for it.' So resolved to make good on her word Nicole made a mental note to make a meeting with Gavin to discuss the case with him. The nerves in her hands and legs were buzzing with trepidation at this prospect but God damn if she was going to let this case die without a fight.

Nicole had worked through her lunch hour, waving off Sashi and Margaret who had come to ask her to join them again. 'I'm right in the middle of this, sorry. Next time right?'

'Don't over work yourself love, no good'll come from beating a dead horse.'

Nicole thanked her for the advice but paid it no heed. She ignored all the other 'To-do's' that were sent her way and focused on the information she had spread out in front of her, pouring over data she had looked over so many times that it was nearly committed to memory.

Shortly after lunch Gavin approached her desk. Though he could not help but notice what it was she was looking at he made no comment other then to say 'I would like you to meet with me in the conference room please.'

Nicole felt a rock fall from somewhere in her throat and land with a crashing thud in the pit of her stomach where it sat heavily, cutting off the circulation to her legs.

Upon entering the board room Nicole was surprised to see she wasn't the only one there. Besides her self Sashi, Margaret, Gibbons and about twenty other people where seated around the desk. Nervously Nicole sat down in an unoccupied seat, fearing she had been called in front of all of these people for a bit of public humiliation before she was terminated from her position at Molan Inc.

'For the benefit of those of you who have not been in the employ of Molan Inc for long let me please begin by explaining the purpose for today's meeting. My custom, at the conclusion of a large or important case is to gather together the associates and people who worked on it and go over the outcome. This is not a fault finding exercise and any opinion you have on the circumstances surrounding the verdict will be kept to yourselves until after the meeting has ended when you can come see me in private. This is not an open forum.' He said addressing the room at large. 'This was a very difficult case, with everyone giving everything they had and then some on this. I am asking for you to give me one more thing before we put this case to bed. Please write up a short abstract on the case or what you know of it and why you think the verdict went the way it did. It need not be longer then a page and I would appreciate if you could have it to me before the week's end. In the mean while I would like to again thank you all for your patience and understanding during the last few weeks.'

The assembly seemed to respond to some invisible cue and began to stand up, mutter amongst themselves and make their way to the door. Though the collective room was somber and dull it was no comparison to the brooding darkness that seemed to have encapsulated Gavin. Nicole, under the guise of waiting politely for the queue to pass her, stood and watched him for a few moments. Part of her wanted to go and speak to him, to assure him he had done everything that could have been done. The other part knew it would sound patronizing and condescending, not to mention useless. Resolved to keep her silence Nicole fell in behind a mousy brunette and followed her out the door.

Gavin stood at the head of the conference table, barely noticing the people walking past him in order to return to work. He did however notice that Nicole seemed to have lagged behind and found that for some irrational reason he was hoping she would remain behind. He knew what she would say, 'You gave it your best, better luck next time, etc.' He also knew it wouldn't change anything; his client lost- he lost, and no amount of euphemisms or unsupported optimism would change that. But he wanted to hear it any way because, after all, pretty lies are still pretty. When he raised his eyes from the papers he had been needlessly shuffling it was to see Nicole's heels disappearing through the door.

'Nicole, I would like to ask you for a favor. Do you have a moment?' Nicole looked at her watch; she was supposed to seeing Ryan tonight for the first time in two weeks.

'Yes, but I do have plans though for tonight.' She replied hesitantly. Gavin nodded. 'It will take only a moment.'

She followed him back to his office. 'This is by no way an illicit proposition, it is work related. A client has sent me tickets to a show for tomorrow night and I would appear a cad if I turned them down or didn't attend. However I am unable to secure a companion for the evening, the woman who usually accompanies me to these functions had a last minute affair to attend to. You are in no way obligated to agree to this, it will not affect your job or my opinion of you. I would like to know if you would be free to accompany me.' He concluded.

'So this wouldn't be a date?' Nicole asked, unable to resist the temptation, against her better judgment.

For the first time since she met him he looked flustered. 'No.' He replied not looking her in the eye.

Nicole kept herself from laughing, barely. 'I'd be happy to accompany you. Will I be getting paid for this?'

'I think that may be construed as prostitution.' Gavin quipped. Nicole did laugh this time. 'However, if you insist, then yes.'

'I don't. Would you like me to meet you there?'

'Even though this is not a date I will still pick you up.' Gavin said sounding more at ease.

They made the arrangements and said their good byes. Nicole was driving home when the realization hit her. She didn't freak out when she was in his office. She didn't flinch or want to run or anything. Hu, chalk it up to whatever, maybe she was cured.

That evening Nicole told Ryan over dinner about the business arrangement she had made and, as she suspected he was good-natured about it and joked with her. 'You know, this is how these office romances begin. The charming boss offers a seemingly innocent proposal and sweeps the attractive young secretary off her feet. Before you know it you are madly in love with him and him you.'

'Given this much though have you?' Nicole asked

'No but those creeps in Hollywood or Los Angeles or wherever your American films are conceived have definitely given us Europeans the idea that you Yanks are all about that top end romance stuff.'

'If Gavin has a romantic bone in his body modern science has yet to find it.'

'So are you trying to tell me I have nothing to worry about?' Ryan asked looking serious.

Nicole shifted nervously in her seat at the sudden change in atmosphere. 'Are you asking if I'm interested in my boss or if I'm interested in you?'

'I'm hoping you're interested in me.' Ryan replied. 'You haven't ever mentioned what your plans are as far as the future. You know, what continent you see yourself on ten years from now.'

Nicole took a moment to study the arrangement of pasta on her plate before looking up at Ryan.   'When I met you I had been in this country for about a week.'

'And now it's been a bit longer then that and I still know very little about you.' He pleaded

'There's not that much to know, really.' Nicole lied. 'I lived in Wisconsin up until I came here. I don't have any kids and I hate people that are mean to puppies.' Inwardly she cringed, knowing full well she was being evasive in the same ways he had lectured Sashi of being.

Ryan smiled almost as one does when they are being lied to by a young child and are convinced they can catch the deceiver at it. 'Alright then; how about: How long do you think you're going to be in England?'

'Ryan, I love it here; I can't deny that. But it's a big step to take. My whole life, everything I worked the past twenty five years on is back in the states. I don't know if I can leave that permanently for a mediocre job and no living situation to call my own. My grandparents are wonderful but I can only hope for their hospitality for so long before they tire of me.'

'And that's the thing. You have this life back in the states but you were willing to leave it for an undetermined amount of time and you won't say why. I'm not trying to pry or anything but I'm kind of worried that you may be here on the lam or something.'

Nicole laughed, 'I'm not a fugitive, and since the US and the UK have extradition laws it would be sort of a silly place to run to.'

'Mike Tyson did it.' Ryan returned warming slightly.

'He was trying to evade paying child support and was forced to in the end anyway; further proof that running here would be pointless.'

'If you are unwilling to tell me because you don't trust me that's fine, I just…'Ryan leaned back and rubbed his face with his fists 'I need something to go on, Nicole. I want to know where I stand with you.'

Nicole's heart ached though she noted in a clinical sort of way that it was more because she was upsetting someone she knew as opposed to hurting someone she loved or cared for deeply.

'I left home because I needed to find myself. As cheesy as that sounds, and yes I know it's cheesy;' Nicole added catching his skeptical look, 'and not for any reason like I don't trust you but I don't feel comfortable talking about it yet. It was deeply personal and painful and I haven't worked through it all yet.'

'So as the cheesy plot lines go you can't be sure where we stand until you work through your past?' Ryan asked kindly.

'Essentially, yes. I enjoy the time we spend together, I love being with you and I don't want to lose that. But right now what we have is all I can offer you.' Nicole apologized.

'See, now that wasn't so hard, was it?' Ryan asked grinning.

After dinner Ryan walked with Nicole through the garden park in the downtown area, laughing as she marveled over the elephant plants and hanging vines that decorated the paths.

It was a pleasant evening and Nicole felt good wandering aimlessly past the various plants and displays with Ryan holding her hand.

As the evening drew to a close Ryan drove her home. 'Thank you.' Nicole said softly from the passenger side. 'For what?' Ryan asked sounding surprised.

'You know, for a nice evening and for being you.'

Despite the romance of the evening, the moonlight that shown through the windshield and the subdued song that was playing out of the car's stereo something still felt out of place when he kissed her. The kiss was nice, Nicole had to admit as she unlocked the front door and waved goodbye to Ryan as he drove off. She couldn't put her finger on what was missing. It could be that Ryan was not Jason, or that she just hasn't known him long enough to feel that sort of chemistry.

She looked around the dark home she shared with her grandparents. She could make out all the assorted knick-knacks and furniture by memory more then sight, she knew the turn of the hall way and the gentle decline the kitchen floor made from the foundation settling. She was familiar with the creaks and pops the house made as the pipes ran and the furnace switched on and off.

But just like Ryan wasn't Jason this house wasn't home. Nicole pulled her shoes off and sat on the couch in the dark living room, staring out the window and watching the silent street, lost in thought.

The next evening with some help from her Grandmother she got ready to meet Gavin. She dressed in the typical little black dress which was short enough to not be eligible as funeral wear but long enough to be acceptable to wear in front of her boss. Her hair was done up with piles of curls pinned to the top of her head, a feat which took close to an hour to accomplish but, with the help of a few stray curls and strands that were left to tickle the back her neck, she looked as if the style was natural and unforced. Her make-up was simple but in her grandmother's expertise the little bit that was put on seemed to open her face, lighten it, and accentuate with out overpowering.

'Now, how about some perfume?' Nan said offering a clear bottle filled with yellowish looking liquid.

'I never touch the stuff, it gives me a headache.' Nicole said laughing.

'Suit yourself.' Nan replied dabbing a little of the scent to her own wrists. 'Well then, my dear, I must declare you finished!'

Nicole looked at herself in the mirror and found she was pleased with the effects of the last hour's work.

When the black Rolls Royce pulled up in front of the house Pops elicited a long low whistle followed by a grunt that sounded like 'Swanky.' Then shuffled off to the den to watch the telly.

Nicole assumed the chauffer would have honked the horn but when there was a knock at the door Nan opened it to find Gavin standing on the stoop, looking more debonair then ever.

'Good Evening.' He greeted Nan.

'Good evening to you!' Nan replied. 'Nicole's just about ready…' She stopped and turned to follow his gaze which had found Nicole standing just behind Nan. 'Oh, never mind she is ready!' Nan stepped out of the way and wished Nicole a good time then went to find Pops.

Gavin tilted his head slightly to Nicole. 'Good evening.' He said smiling lightly.

'Hello.' She knew she probably should have felt shy but the fact that he was her boss and this was a business arrangement dispelled any butterflies she would have felt while wearing a little dress like that and appearing glamorous, both of which were normally in total contrast to her preference of jeans and a t-shirt. He on the other hand looked naturally at ease with himself.

'Shall we?' He asked extending his arm to her.

Now she felt nervous. Not the kind of nervous she got before, not that he was going to hit her, yes she was finally able to label what kind of fear it was. It was the nervous fear that she was going to trip and fall flat on her face or burp or something stupid to make an ass of herself.

Gingerly she took his arm and allowed herself to be escorted to the car. She sat on the edge of her seat, not sure of what a proper person should do with themselves while they wait for their companion.

Shortly after her, though it felt like a life time, Gavin slid into the seat beside her. No sooner was his door closed then a male voice from the front asked 'All set then?' to which Gavin nodded and the car began to glide down the gravel lane and out on the country road.

The silence stretched on for at least five very uncomfortable minutes while Nicole tried to think of something appropriate to talk about. She wondered if she should restrict her remarks to work, then thought it silly to talk about work when they weren't there. Then her mind went to the intelligence she had once received about Gavin, that he was a workaholic and thought maybe he would like to talk about it before her mind betrayed her and thought that maybe it wasn't fair to go off of gossip. Finally Gavin broke the silence himself saying 'Please, don't take this as an impropriety but you look very beautiful.'

Nicole laughed, unable to stop herself, 'Thank you. You look very good in a tux.' Gavin smiled 'I try.'

Nice. Nicole thought. He wears tuxedos all the time, Nan told you he does a lot with charities. Christ he probably owns half a dozen. Out loud she said 'I'm sorry; I should have told you before that I have never worked in the capacity of a professional escort before.'

'Since that is the case allow me to take a few moments to brief you on what to expect.

Since you were kind enough to agree to do this with the understanding that it is for business I will introduce you as my employee.'

'Do you want me to call you Mr. Malon?' Nicole asked seriously.

'No, I think we can skip the formalities. You may call me Gavin if you don't mind.'

'Not at all; by the way, when did that officially happen? My calling you Gavin?'

Gavin sat back in his seat for a moment and regarded the question. 'You know I can't say for sure; maybe when you told me to sod off in your grandparent's house.'

Nicole blushed but decided it would be redundant to apologize for something Gavin had obviously decided to let go.

'Also since this is a business affair I believe it would go without saying that these are influential people to my career and the well being of the firm…'

'I will treat them respect that is deserving of their position but you know, back home in the states it's illegal to prep a client before they go on the stand and buddy, you're really toeing the line here.' Nicole accused light heartedly, the jitters she had experienced before having been dispelled by Gavin's easy nature.

'I suppose it could have been worse.' Gavin said to no one in particular.

Puzzled Nicole looked at him then; after a few moments of silence had elapsed she asked 'What are you talking about?'

'Your allusion, it could have been worse. Frankly I was expecting that if you felt compelled to make one it was going to be some cliché Pretty Woman quote.'

'It wouldn't work, your hair's all wrong to be Richard Gere.' Nicole replied mater-of-factly.'

'Ah, but being as I am a solicitor it works because of my profession; clever.'

Nicole felt her smile falter a bit as they pulled up in front of the theater, feelingly oddly disappointed that here comfortable conversation with Gavin be cut so short.

Chivalrously Gavin took Nicole's hand as she exited the limo There seems to be a bit of a chill left in the air He thought as a slight shiver made his skin tingle. Nicole smiled warmly at him when he placed her hand in the crook of her arm and escorted her in.

They were barely inside when a wizened stooped old woman tottered over to them, dripping in jewelry.

'Gavin, dear boy, how have you been?' She asked in a high frail voice. Nicole stood quietly and respectfully to the side as they pursued the obligatory small talk befitting an occasion such as this before the older woman noticed Nicole was there.

'Oh, forgive me dear, I didn't see you there! Gavin where is Jennifer?'

'She couldn't make it this evening.' Gavin replied kindly.

'That is a pity. Are you going to introduce me to your young companion then?'

'Mrs. Hinchen, this is my assistant Ms. Nicole Duffeck, Nicole, this lovely young lady is Evelyn Hinchen, a very generous contributor to many worthy causes.

'It's very nice to meet you Mrs. Hinchen.' Nicole replied gently shaking hands with the smiling older woman.

'You're an American?'

'Yes.'

'What brings you to this side of the pond?'

Nicole gave the schpeel of wanting to spend time with her grandparents and expand her career. 'I was fortunate that my Grandmother is acquainted with someone kind enough to hire me on with no experience or credentials for legal work in the United Kingdom.' She concluded.

'So do you enjoy working for Mr. Malon then?'

'Yes, very much so; he's a different sort of supervisor then I had in the United States but in no way less helpful, especially when explaining the difference of procedure between what's done here and what's done back home.'

'You know, I hear all those stories about young people from the United States being disrespectful and arrogant but you're doing wonders to dispel that stereotype.' She said tapping Nicole's arm approvingly with her play bill.

Nicole flicked a quick glance towards Gavin and saw him nod in approval. The old woman held them a few moments longer then departed to join her party.

After a few more run-ins with Gavin's acquaintances they made their way to the box seats and settled in for the show. 'Thank you for attending to my acquaintances with such civility, you performed magnificently.'

Nicole smilingly replied, 'Shucks,'t was nuthin'. '

As the lights lowered, and the crowd silenced as the orchestra tuned Nicole heard Gavin chortle before she lost all focus on anything other then the stage.

The first half of the performance was magnificent; the theater disappeared from her peripheral vision and her mind became unaware of nothing but the soliloquies and exclamations of the stage. The actors themselves dissolved, leaving behind the characters they were playing in their place and with this new return to life they loved, cried, schemed and lamented as passionately now as they must have the first time the play was performed. Had Nicole been able to remember that this was a play and that it must have been performed by these very actors at least a hundred times before she would have been all the more impressed with the realism in which they portrayed their titles.

So engrossed was she in the story that when the curtain fell for intermission she felt as if she had woken from a dream only to find that she couldn't remember where she was.

'If you would excuse me for a moment, I desperately need to stretch my legs. Would you care for a drink?' Gavin asked, bringing Nicole to her senses.

Nicole politely declined, having decided to spend the intermission reading the play bill.

She wondered if having never read the play or even hearing of it before tonight was a blessing or a deficit to appreciating it or any performance. Barely two minutes had passed since Gavin had left her before a man approached her forcing her to abandon her mental debate.

'I do not believe I have had the pleasure of meeting you before; I'm John Harbringer of Harbringer and Associates.' The man greeted her with an extended hand a genial smile.

Accepting his hand Nicole introduced herself politely.

'So are you attending the show with Gavin Malon then?' He asked easily.

'I am yes; he was good enough to invite the evening.' Nicole answered. 'Ah, I see; are you a friend of his or an employee?'

'An employee, I've been with his firm for about three months now. How is it that you know Mr. Malon?'

'Oh, Gavin and I go back a ways, we're both in the same business so our paths have happened to cross on occasion. What sort of work do you perform for him?' John asked conversationally.

'A little bit of everything; my position allows my importance to vary from that of an administrative assistant or a stapler, depending on the day.'

'Sounds like you're getting a bit of a raw deal there.' John replied empathetically. Suddenly aware that what she said in humor may not be taken that way by one of Gavin's peers Nicole hurried to correct her mistake; 'Oh no, not at all. What I meant was that the job allows a lot of variety; I'm always doing something different so it never gets dull or monotonous and the staff and benefits are really great.'

'So you're intelligent and a multi-tasker. I doubt you're getting paid what you're worth there.' John said with a used car salesmen like grin.

Nicole laughed, more because she couldn't think of anything to say that wasn't rude to her companion. Thankfully she was saved from this crisis by the reappearance of Gavin.

'John.' Gavin greeted the other man coldly.

'Gavin, good to see you. I was just getting acquainted with you new associate. Nicole, it was a pleasure meeting you; I hope we have a chance to speak again in the future. Enjoy the rest of the show.'

Gavin settled into his seat and maintained a stony silence. Concerned she had made some unforgivable trespass Nicole swallowed her fear and asked, 'Should I have not spoken to him?'

'Had I the choice I would have preferred you didn't.' Gavin replied somberly.

'I'm sorry, it's just that since you told me some of your colleagues and peers would be here I thought…I didn't think much of Mr. Harbringer speaking with me.'

'That was my mistake. Like any one else I have my professional enemies. John is obviously one of them.'

'So he was talking to me to annoy you?'

'No he was talking to you as a head hunter.' Gavin replied moodily.

'Why though? It's not like I'm a key player for your firm or anything? Essentially I'm expendable; you could easily replace me with the paperboy.

'That is not the point. The point is any associate he can steal from my firm is an inconvenience to me, thus a win in his favor.'

Nicole couldn't figure out why but the fact that he didn't defend her usefulness, even though in this case there didn't appear to be much. Also there was that niggling feeling in the back of her mind that Gavin was now regretting having asked her to the theatre in the first place.

Sullen she allowed the conversation to lapse into nothingness, stealing a quick glance at Gavin once more to see what his facial expression might reveal but it was stony and impassive. She figured he was lost in thought and decided to let him be.

The lights flickered, signaling the end of intermission and she settled back into her seat to watch the rest of the show. The lights lowered and the orchestra cued up again.