I stare at my invitation to Brittany’s eighteenth birthday with disbelief. Never did I think the day would come where I was worthy enough to get an invite to her birthday. I rush out to my girls. “Can you believe it? We’re going to Maxim’s for Brittany’s birthday! Going Metal’s gonna be there!” I raise my hand to high-five them. They don’t raise their hands.
I peer at them. “What?”
“We didn’t get invited,” they say. “Just you.”
I frown. That can’t be right. “Just … me?”
They nod.
I stare at them, unable to make sense of it. Why me and not them?
As if reading my mind, Tina says, “You’re now considered cool, Burn. With you going out with Trojan and getting into Danes. We’re not, I guess.”
Shit, I really wanted to see Going Metal! “Then I won’t go,” I say with a heavy heart.
“No, you should go,” Laura says. “After all, you’re a ‘popular’ girl now. No use hanging around us anymore.”
“Shut the fuck up, Laura!” I say. “I had nothing to do with this.”
“No, you shut the fuck up, Burn!” Laura says. “You always envied them, now you’re in. You’re an ‘It Girl’ now, Burn.”
“Hey, that’s not true. Not true at all. And FYI, I’m not dating Trojan. I’m forced to. You know that. I told you guys about it.”
When they don’t answer, I storm off.
The more I think about it, the more I realize I don’t want to go to Brittany’s party. Although it would be awesome to see Going Metal.
I sit and sulk for the rest of the day, until I finally walk up to Brittany. “I’m sorry, Brittany, but I can’t make it for your party. I’m really sorry.”
“Why?” she asks, looking shocked.
“I …eh… look, my friends, I kinda feel bad that they’re not invited and …”
“Ah, so that’s it. That okay, Burn,” she says. When I look at her, I think of Kate and Bud and the unwanted pregnancy and I feel a little sorry for her. She has no idea her best friend was fucking her boyfriend.
The next day, I avoid my friends because I’m still pissed with them for their lousy attitude.
“So,” HarLo says, “heard you guys are going to Brittany’s party. Cool. Going Metal’s gonna be there, you know.”
I shake my head quickly. “I’m not going. I cancelled.”
“Oh, okay. Didn’t realize you’re not going. But all your friends are.”
I cock my head and look at him. “Friends?”
“Brittany’s invited them all this morning.”
“What?!”
“They’re RSVPing right now.”
“Whaaaat?!” I crane my neck to look around and see Tina, Laura, and Sultana laughing and chatting with Brittany and Kate.
Brittany looks at me and waves over their heads, an I-showed-you smirk on her face. Kate’s smile is equally smug.
This is what I got for daring to turn down Brittany’s invitation? Fuuuuuck!
“Oh, really now? Isn’t that something? They were mad at me and had such a go at me yesterday, but now they’re all going? Fucking hypocrites!”
I say nothing to my friends, I just sulk. But word gets around that I’m not going. As the day progresses, I see Tina, Sultana and Laura with their heads together. They look guilty. Good – they should be. They should be as miserable as I am. Fucking sellouts.
That Saturday I think about the party and how my friends will be getting ready together and I seethe with anger for being left out. I’m angry with Brittany and Kate for making me pay, but I’m furious with my friends for going.
Then I get a text from Sultana: Wanna hang out with Tina and I tonight?
Confused, I stare at the text. Does that mean they’re not going? I call her. “’Sup?”
“Nothing much. Just Tina and I hanging out. Wanna join us? I got a Katy Perry DVD, a Nicky Minaj …?”
I learn that Tina and Sultana decided not to go because I wasn’t going. But Laura wanted to go.
It’s a great feeling to know that my friends didn’t sell me out after all. Well, two of my friends, at least. Laura doesn’t appear to care. She’s just so thrilled to be invited by a popular girl that she couldn’t be bothered with what her friends think of her.
I’m pretty mad at her. Where’s the loyalty?
Tina, Sultana and I hang out, while Laura parties with the popular girls.
The Sunday after Brittany’s party, I get a call from Fallon, one of the girls in my class. She’s got goss and spills it without me asking. She tells me that Brittany’s party was pretty wild and that Laura and Bud hooked up behind the shed at Brittany’s party when Brittany was not looking. She says that Bud drove Laura home and returned to the party hours later.
“Wow!” I say. “Laura and Bud?” At first I’m shocked, then I’m worried. Bud is a dickhead and he shouldn’t be anywhere near Laura.
Apparently Brittany and Kate were mean to Laura and made fun of her during the party. Well, can’t say she didn’t deserve that. But still, I get pissed off at them for doing that to my friend.
But after that, the change in Laura is staggering. She’s ditched the glasses, shortened her skirt, highlighted her hair to make it blonder, wears make-up and even heels. All along she denied, and even shunned the white in her because of her father abandoning them. Now, it seems like she wants to be white and is denying the Mexican in her. Confusing to me. Annoying too.
She ignores us and sits with Kate Spelling and Brittany, even though she hooked up with Brittany’s boyfriend at her party. I can’t understand why Brittany is being friends with Laura. I try really hard to read their thoughts but nothing, unfortunately.
In class, I observe them all. Laura keeps looking at Bud, while Brittany keeps looking at Laura and Bud. Bud on the other hand appears to give a fuck as to who’s looking. His smile is smug, which tells me he’s enjoying the female attention. A complete dickhead.
I hear her thoughts as she texts under her desk. My parents are away till seven tonight. Wanna come over?
I watch Bud pick up his phone when it vibrates. He texts away but I cannot hear his thoughts.
I decide enough is enough; I need to talk to Laura and stop her getting involved with Bud.
At lunchtime, I approach Laura. “Hey, can we talk?”
“About what?”
“You and Bud.”
“It’s none of your …”
“Laura, I’m your friend. I’m concerned about you. He’s bad news.”
“You don’t know that!”
“Yes, I do. He’s using you till he gets what he wants and then …”
“Oh, I get it – you’re jealous, Burn. Brody dumped you and now you’re jealous because Bud is good-looking and all the girls would love a date with him but he’s interested in me.”
“So, he’s broken up with Brittany, then?” I ask, ignoring her nasty comments.
“N … well, he’s trying to but it’s not easy for him.”
“Why not? He’s a fucking player Laura.”
She glares at me. “I’ve never had a boyfriend before. Nobody wants to go out with a geek like me. I’m too tall and I’m not pretty enough and it hurts, so don’t you ruin something good that’s come my way, you hear?”
“Laura, calm down. I’m concerned about you, that’s all.”
“Don’t be. I’m a big girl now. It’s great to get attention from a popular guy. You should know that. What’s better than having a good-looking guy pay you attention? Hanging out with all his good-looking friends. The McGraw clan. It makes all the girls so envious of you.”
“Look, just don’t …” I take a deep breath. “Laura, seeing him today is not a good idea.”
She stares at me with huge eyes. “How do you know?” She gnashes her teeth at me. “You are spying on me! Stop!” She snatches her bag and storms off.
“Erro!”
She appears immediately, smoking a cigarette.
“Shall I tell her about Kate Spelling? And put that cigarette out! Since when do you smoke?”
She giggles. “I don’t know. What do you think? Should you tell her?”
“Erro, stop acting like a therapist – answering my question with a question. Give me an answer! He’s going to use her, then dump her, then what? She’ll be crushed. Maybe even knocked up?”
“You feeling stressed about it?” She throws down her cigarette and squashes it with her sensible shoe.
I sit on a bench and put my hand to my eyes. “Yes.” I wipe away a tear. “I’ve seen what he can do to girls and I’m worried. She’s my friend, Erro and I feel like vomiting at the thought of her in Bud’s clutches.”
“Burn,” she says in a gentle voice, “you’re the same age as her. Stop trying to be a mother to her and be a friend. And if she ever needs you, be there to catch her.”
“What if I tell her about Kate and Bud?”
“You could. But would she believe you?”
My shoulders drop. I shake my head slowly. “She’s never had male attention before, you know.”
“Just be ready to hold out your arms, that’s all.”
I nod slowly as I wipe away tears of fear and helplessness.
****
It’s been six weeks since Brittany’s party and it’s clear that Bud has dumped Laura as he is back with Brittany in a big way – holding her, kissing her, feeling her up in front of everyone. Laura’s visibly distressed. Her clenched fists, her twisted lips, her blazing blue eyes – tells me she’s history with Bud.
As the weeks pass by, I see changes in Laura’s personality. She’s become withdrawn and somber and her eyes are always red. I put that down to heartbreak.
She’s snappy and irritable with everyone. When she starts wearing baggy clothes, I just know that she’s pregnant. I feel absolutely devastated by the thought of my worst fears being realized. She’s also irritable and snappy with everyone.
I observe her texting and her thoughts are clear. I close my eyes and zero in on them.
I asked u to wear a condom n u refused 2 now u want 2 leave me 2 handle this all by myself I need ur help here or Im gon tell.
Unfortunately, I can’t read Bud’s thoughts.
Thats a lie!!!! Ive only been with u I was a fucking virgin.
Well Im gonna tell ur parents today if u dont take responsibility n I am gon tell Brittany 2.
Yes Im threatening you!
That afternoon, I go over to Laura’s. When I ring the doorbell, I hear approaching footsteps then silence. Okay, so she doesn’t want to talk to me. That doesn’t stop me. I walk around the back, pry open a window and slip into the house. I walk up to her bedroom, throw open the door and see her sitting on the bed staring into space.
“What the…? You broke into my house? Are you nuts?”
“You’re pregnant,” I say. “I’m here to help.”
Shock registers on her face. “N … no, I’m not. You’re … you’re nuts to say that.”
“Oh yeah?” I drop my bag and sit on the bed. “Laura, don’t be stupid. You need help right now. And if you don’t let me help you, I’m telling your mom.”
Slowly her shoulders sag. For a while we sit in silence.
She looks at me with eyes brimming with tears, her bottom lip trembling. “I thought he l…loved me. He told me he did.”
I nod and like I discussed with Erro, I hold out my arms.
“He told me I was beautiful and that … that … he’s always fancied me. Now he’s threatening to release the video he took of both of us. It’s in his phone. I’m terrified of that happening. ”
“Okay, don’t worry. It’s not gonna happen, okay? We’re gonna steal the phone and you’re gonna delete the video. Then we’re gonna steal his laptop and do the same, just in case he’s backed it up.”
“How? There’s no way we can get to them.”
“I’ll think of something. But first we need to make some decisions.” I point to her stomach.
She nods as fat tears course down her cheeks.
****
I’m with Laura when she goes into the clinic and I’m there when she comes out of it.
When she cries, I cry with her. I can’t help it. Much as I try to be strong, I feel her pain. Seeing her so broken and sad makes me furious. I want revenge. In a big way. But how? How the hell does one get back at Bud?
After about a week, she’s back at school, and together with Tina and Sultana, we scheme – our revenge over Bud has to be huge.
“He’s recorded us on his phone,” she says. “I’m terrified that he’ll show it to everyone.”
“Shit!” they chorus.
Bastard! That’s his insurance against her talking about them.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “He persuaded me. At first I said no, but then he said he’d erase it after we …you know, like finished, then after that, he said he wanted to watch it later to remind him how great we were and …”
“Okay, forget revenge – let’s get that goddamn phone first and delete all those videos,” I say.
We spend most of our time plotting and planning to steal his phone, which is difficult as his phone is always with him.
“We’ll need his laptop too,” Laura says in a grim voice.
“Now that’s gonna be a huge problem,” Tina says.
Laura’s face falls.
“Yeah, but don’t worry,” I say in a reassuring voice, “I have an idea.”
Since, his phone is always with him, the only way we can get to Bud’s phone and laptop is while they’re out playing sports or something. Since his locker is always locked, we have a huge problem.
“There’s no way we’re gonna pull this off,” Laura says.
“Yes, there is,” I say. “I’m gonna find Nick. He owes me.”
Nick is horrified. “What? You expect me to steal his phone and …?”
“I helped protect Brody, remember? And Bud is such an asshole, Nick. I see how he looks at Kate.”
The look he gives me tells me he’s noticed it too. If only he knew the whole truth.
“Why do you hang out with him?” I ask. “He’s not good for your rep.”
“I grew up with him. But that doesn’t mean I agree with everything he does.”
Nick is way too sweet to be involved with Bud or Kate. I wish I could hook him up with one of my friends.
After much arguing and a whole lot of convincing, I manage to get him to say yes.
Four days later, Nick hands me a bag. “Never mention my name,” he warns his eyes darting around nervously.
My heart leaps with excitement as I accept the bag. “Cross my heart,” I say. “Even if they torture me, I won’t. But I just hope they don’t give me tequila ’cause it’s like truth serum and I start blabbing like …”
“What?!”
“Kidding!” I smile. “Thank you, Nick.” I start to leave.
“Burn!”
I stop and turn around. Please don’t let him have changed his mind, cos I ain’t giving him this bag.
“Make it good,” he says in a voice that tells me he may know more about Nick and Kate than I think he does.
I nod.
“Go hard.”
“You bet,” I say, almost quivering with excitement.
****
My friends are thrilled at my achievements.
“Kiddy porn!” Tina says. “Let’s load it onto his laptop and hand it to the police with a note attached to it. You know, like this dude’s been viewing shit that deserves an inves…”
“Geez, that’s heavy,” I say.
“Heavy is what he deserves!” Laura snarls, her eyes bulging, her nostrils flaring. We all stare at her, shocked. Is this our gentle friend Laura?
“Keep going,” I say as we comb through his laptop files. After five minutes of searching, we find the video of her and Bud and she kills it right away. Even empties out his recycle bin and tries to erase it from his hard-drive as well.
Then we find a video of him and Kate doing the dirty. Kate’s such an idiot – she seems pleased to be recording, unlike Laura who looked nervous and afraid.
“Delete it?” Laura asks.
“Yes, but first, email it to me. I want some insurance of my own. One day it will come in handy, I’m sure.”
Laura emails it to me.
Then we stumble onto a video of Bud and his mates mocking loudmouth Curtis, Trojan’s friend. In the video, Bud has a cap and a hundred chains around his neck and calls Curtis a fag and a whole lot of names that would make Curtis hunt him down and, as Harjoon puts it, “bust a cap in his ass.”
“That’s it!” I cry.
Everyone gives me confused looks.
“Imagine if Curtis got wind of this video. Say we upload it on YouTube, then get Curtis’s mates to see it first and bring it to Curtis’s attention?”
One by one, they start to nod.
“Then, we provide Curtis with valuable info, like addresses, sporting venues that Bud attends, etc, etc. and voila – Curtis tears Bud a new asshole!”
“Let’s do it!” Laura says. “But first,” her eyes become hard, “I got me some editing to do that will guarantee him a new asshole.”
While Laura works feverishly to slander and diss badass Curtis, we dance around to Carly Rae Jepson’s Call Me Maybe and celebrate in advance.
When we view the edited video, it’s one hundred times more racial and more disrespectful than Bud’s original sedate video. Bud cusses Curtis, calls him the ‘n’ word, calls him a fag, and finally calls Curtis for a punch-on.
“Ouch, Laura! Hell really hath no fury like a woman fucked around, huh?”
“You bet yo black ass, Burn,” she says with an evil smile
In fact, compared to Laura’s vindictive version, Bud’s original one is like a sermon for Sunday school.
After a few minor alterations and a few more vodkas, we upload the file on YouTube. Then we email links of the video to Luther and all his friends.
Finally, we high-five each other and drink more.
“I gotta run,” I say.
They bitch about me leaving.
“Angel. I gotta take care of her,” I explain as I leg it out of there.
****
We all struggle to get to school on time, but today, we’re there almost an hour early to enjoy the drama that’s sure to unfold.
We see Bud, walking in, hunched and morose. Behind him is his mother and father, looking worried and on the way to the school principal’s office.
Great! We follow at a safe distance and eavesdrop.
“We don’t have an appointment,” Bud’s mother says to the receptionist. “But the matter is urgent as my son’s life might be in danger. There’s a video going around …”
I put my hand out behind me. One by one, my girls low-five me.
We scoot when the police arrive.
Bud looks like a fucking girl now – scared and nervous, his eyes darting around. At lunch time, he keeps close to the admin office, doesn’t venture into the grounds.
“Hey, Nick,” I say. “Wassup?!”
“Like you don’t know,” he mouths.
“What?!” I give him a what-the-hell-you-talking-about? look.
“Word is Curtis is going to kick Bud’s ass.”
“What?!” I put my hand to my mouth. “Whatever shall we do, Nick? That is simply dreadful!”
He rolls his eyes and walks away.
The school buzzes with the Bud-Curtis story. Nothing happens that day, to our disappointment. But we take immense delight and absolute joy in Bud’s changing personality. He becomes quiet, sullen and morose. Unrecognizable.
Then a week later, we get a delightful phone call from Nick.
I listen with my jaw hanging, then smile, then hang up.
“What? What?” my fellow Mixicans demand.
“Bud has a new asshole. Courtesy of Curtis.”
They jump around and let out whoops of delight.
“Okay, so he’s in Emhart County Medical Centre,” I say. “Now in stable condition.”
“Let’s go visit him,” Laura says.
“No!” I’m horrified she’d even suggest that. “What the hell for, Laura?”
“Because,” she explains, “I want to look into his eyes and say, ‘I did it.’ Then I will smile, turn around and leave.” Her eyes flit between us. “Coming?”
“Fuck yeah!” Tina says. “After all we’ve done, we have to witness this.”
We scramble to our feet and grab our bags.
****
No visitors,” male Registered Nurse Tioby Smyth says. That’s Tioby, with an “i.”
“Oh please!” Laura cries clasping her hands under her chin and putting on what Angel calls a pound-puppy look. “He’s our friend and we are so upset by everything he’s been through and we will only be a minutes. Please! Please! Please!”
I guess the pound-puppy look works – Nurse Smyth says, “Okay, one minute only. Just one!”
Alive with excitement, we walk-run to Bud’s ward and barge into it. And gasp. He face is swollen, some of his front teeth are missing, he’s on an intravenous drip and oxygen.
“God, Bud, you look like shit,” I say.
“This I gotta record,” Sultana says and whips out her Smartfone.
He tries to talk but all he manages is a gurgle.
“Heard he tore you a new asshole, Bud, dear,” Laura says. “You poor thing.” She leans closer and whispers in his ears. “I did it, fuckface. I fucked you over.”
Bud eyes turn hard.
“Fucked … you … over! It was me! I did it.” Laura suddenly presses on his intravenous line so hard, he screams in pain.
I grab her arm. “Laura, stop!”
Ignoring me, she shoves the oxygen mask deep into his nose, making him squeal like a pig. “You need oxygen? Huh? Huh?”
“Laura, what the fuck?!” I pull her away.
She jerks away and she punches him several times in the balls. “How’s this for a hand job, huh? You like it? Huh? Huh?” More punching till his body curls.
“That’s it!” I say, bear-hugging her to prevent her killing the fucker. “We’re leaving.”
Bud’s sheet gets wet.
“He’s pissed himself,” Sultana says. “Eeeewww!”
“Oh shit! That’s disgusting,” Tina says. “At your age, Bud?”
“Eeeewww!” I cry. “Let’s just get out of here,” I say and usher everyone out of the ward.
Laura does one last thing – she grabs his buzzer and throws it out of reach. “No nursie, nursie for you, fuckface Bud! You lie in your piss. Marinate in it.” She whips out her phone and clicks away. “YouTube, here I cooooome!”
I grab her and almost push her out of the door.
“Laura, you fucking psycho!” Tina laughs.
“Yeah, Laura, what the fuck?!”
She shrugs. “He got what he deserved.”
As we pass Nurse Smyth, Laura says, “Thank you so much. He says no disturbance for a while ’cause he just wants to rest.”
“Oh sure,” Nurse Smyth says. “We can do that.”
As we walk out of Emhart County Medical Centre we burst out laughing and continue laughing for the rest of the day.
Every now and then we take turns to say, “Laura, you fucking psycho!”
“That’s me,” she says with the brightest of smiles.